gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 23, 2014 15:49:05 GMT -5
Believing arts are a necessary part of society isn't elitist. Thinking disadvantaged kids would probably prefer a tractor pull to the ballet is... I took that comment to be more about hands-on experience as opposed to a sitting and watching experience. In my city there are lots of hands on experiences related to art- pottery, painting, glass-blowing, cooking, cake decorating, jewelry making to name a few. I just saw one that allows you to bring your own small furniture item to learn how to chalk paint. The cost is a pretty reasonable $25 or so, you get to create it yourself while following along with an instructor and go home with whatever you've made. That said, I think it's great to donate and if ballet is your thing- then even better.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 23, 2014 13:26:34 GMT -5
Excellent point. Just like drunk drivers (hardly comparable, but I'm throwing it out there because it's another no big deal crime, unless they actually get arrested)- rarely is the time they got caught, the only time they've done it. And it's not just a women's issue. I was shocked when I watched the episode of Oprah with 200 men in her audience who were molested. They discussed some very alarming statistics as well.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 23, 2014 8:45:36 GMT -5
Tickets in my middle cost of living city start at $44 (not including fees) and go up to $206. I was bored out of my mind when I went around 12, so haven't been back. It's not a "treat" for everyone. I do like the community plays and concerts, on the other hand.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 23, 2014 8:29:36 GMT -5
It's aboninable this is still happening on campuses. I agree - call POLICE - not the college security, who'll no doubt sweep cases under the rug.
What appalls me more, the link states U of Virginia (and possibly other colleges) called the march a "Slut Walk". That doesn't help any.
Why couldn't they call it a "March Against College (or Frat Party) Rape"? The "university" didn't call it that. The students who organized the walk did. It's become a world wide movement, similar to "take back the night." It's aim is to raise awareness about victim blaming and slut shaming in regards to sexual assault. The people who organize the event have most likely been called sluts instead of victims. Even in a progressive 2014- people are still slut shaming. I've read 1000's of comments now about how the women who have come forward about Cosby are just a bunch money hungry, lying sluts. Never mind that it's more likely that they are telling the truth. There are strength in numbers and it doesn't surprise me at all that this snowballing. Regardless, since an actor played a nice guy on t.v. he couldn't possibly do that. It does not surprise me that university administration keeps crime, and make no mistake- this is criminal, as quiet as possible. It's in their best interest to maintain the university's reputation. University is not your friend when it comes to crime.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 22, 2014 22:13:21 GMT -5
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 22, 2014 21:54:54 GMT -5
The problem is, universities circumvent the issue before it makes it to law enforcement. People (not just women and not just students) victimized need it drilled in their heads to call the police, not a friend, not a family member, not a crisis hotline, not campus security- THE POLICE.
I was absolutely disgusted by the Rolling Stones article, right on the heals of the Cosby issues too. I can't take the comments anymore either. There are just too many with no compassion or empathy at all.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 21, 2014 16:51:22 GMT -5
Last year, for the most part I kept my house around 65 degrees (in an area where the lows are 10 degrees). My house is approximately 4000 sqf and we have gas. I'm home all day, so the programmable thermostat does not help me, but I don't mind wearing sweaters and prefer sleeping under blankets. The highest bill was $250. On the other hand, my next door neighbor in a comparable house, built the same year kept her house around 75 degrees and her highest bills were closer to $600- ouch.
If you want to save money, set it at the lowest you can tolerate it without being uncomfortable.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 20, 2014 14:58:08 GMT -5
I don't have pets and take shoes off at the door. If I don't vacuum every week, no biggie. We pick up behind ourselves and put dishes in the dishwasher immediately, so there really isn't a lot of cleaning going on around here. A swish in the toilet and wipe down of the counters and baths every week or so is about it. I make my bed every day and keep the children clean.
We hire someone to power wash the house once every 12-18 months. We hire a pest company to spray the house for bugs inside and out, so I've never seen so much as a spider web or ant. I have never washed curtains. The thought never crossed my mind as I had floor to ceiling panels custom made and would be scared to ruin them.
As long as everything is put away where it belongs, I'm happy. I hate clutter.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 20, 2014 13:14:10 GMT -5
I had a friend whose daughter was like that. She was born one day after my DS. She had a full head of hair at birth and within a couple months had rubbed off a ring of it and had a rash on her scalp from turning her head to see what was going on. She was up most of the day, and only slept like 6 hours a night. It was so bad, the ended up putting her (the daughter) on some medication to try and get her to sleep more. It was so hard on my friend, so I can completely sympathize. Did it get better? That sounds just like DD. I have to put her down in a completely dark room and basically bore her to sleep. If there is anything at all going on, she has to be a part of it. Please tell me your friend's daughter turned out to be some sort of super genius or musical prodigy or something. ![](//images.proboards.com/v5/smiley/tongue.png) My first was like that. I tried everything there was to get her to sleep longer- whether during naps or at night. She took three 15 minute naps a day and woke up 5-10x a night for 11 months. But, she was healthy and somehow happy as long as she was held or played with. I was very unhappy because I was super sleep deprived. Regardless of all my attempts to solve it, she figured it out and slept 10 hours at night after she turned 11 months old. If I had been attempting a sleep training technique at that time, I would have given the credit to sleep training, but it would have been a coincidence. She's 3 now. On the other hand, my 7 month old sleeps great. She sleeps 10 hours straight, wakes up to be fed around 5am and goes right back to sleep for another 2 hours plus takes great naps during the day. I have done nothing different- same crib, same pajamas, same diet, same dark quiet room, same video monitor. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/idunno.gif)
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 13, 2014 14:32:33 GMT -5
I think it's smart to take religious holidays off the school calendar and hope more schools follow suit. While this country originated as Christian, the United States was always supposed to be a "melting pot." We haven't been a melting pot for a really long time. Every one now wants to celebrate diversity. That sounds great in theory, but if we're not able to melt together and we can't accommodate every tradition based on their country of origin or belief, then this reaction is the best course of action.
I also think it's smart to put breaks on the calendar when the majority of students and teachers will be out and calling it fall, winter and spring breaks to maintain neutrality. If they find the majority of students are out other days, maybe they can rethink the placement of fall, winter and spring breaks.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 11, 2014 16:45:15 GMT -5
I just realized I am old enough that I am experiencing a fashion cycle (20 years). That explains why I am seeing things in the adult section that I remember wearing as a kid. Every time I see something like that, I have to remind myself that if I was old enough to wear the trend the first time around, I'm too old to wear it the second time around. I saw a teenager wearing cutoff shorts, a flannel shirt and combat style boots in line at subway the other day and started reminiscing about the 90's. I thought she looked great, but no- I won't be wearing that or baby doll dresses, over t-shirts with combat boots either.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 11, 2014 15:41:47 GMT -5
I do think there is a way to pull off a classic look. Case in point, I've been watching a Sex and the City marathon today and Charlotte rarely looks out-dated. Her hair, make-up and clothing style is all very fresh. If I didn't just pull up the information for the episode, I wouldn't know that it was 15 years old.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 11, 2014 15:26:03 GMT -5
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 11, 2014 12:15:41 GMT -5
What I've noticed is that people frequently make Bluester's remark when they don't like the scarf or whatever.
I read somewhere that we compliment women way too much on the way that look as if that is their most important attribute. Sure, if you make it a habit to comment on what the guys in your group wear, then do it. But if not, why single out the women?
It has been hard, but I've made a conscious effort not to do this with my girl students. I am cautious about complimenting men because it can come across as flirting.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 11, 2014 11:11:38 GMT -5
I could see where that might be annoying to some. It does not bother me at all and I will give whatever details about an item people want to know without being offended. I love learning things about people and finding commonalities so volunteering information I didn't ask is great. Regardless, I've come up with a list of other ways to respond since a simple "thanks" seems a little stand-offish: thanks, blue is my favorite color! thanks, I got it on a trip to Mexico! thanks, my husband picked it out! thanks, fall is my favorite season because I love scarves! thanks, it was my reward to myself for the awesome job I did on (whatever project)! (nice way to toot your own horn at work) To avoid being socially awkward, I have lots of conversation openers that don't involve asking about the weather as well, not that there is anything wrong with talking about weather. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/tongue.png)
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 10, 2014 18:38:27 GMT -5
I plant Poinsettias and my amaryllis in flowerbed after they do their Christmas blooming. But I am in Zone 8b so that helps. Poinsettias don't always do as good but the amaryllis are awesome. I've always wanted an amaryllis. Maybe I'll find one on a good sale this year. I'd be thrilled if somebody showed up to my house with one.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 10, 2014 15:32:24 GMT -5
Good luck! You sound like a very caring mom.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 10, 2014 13:58:19 GMT -5
At 16, I didn't have time to be moody or depressed. Between classes, sports, clubs, homework, a job, social life and family time (minimal)- there was no time to sit around and mope or dwell. Maybe he has too much free time or "unscheduled" time?
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 10, 2014 13:00:21 GMT -5
You didn't answer the question about his driver's license. Does he have one? Is he allowed out without you? I'm having a tough time getting a sense of the life-style since I was not home-schooled and was very active in clubs and sports. I loved my teenage years, but my parents weren't overly involved in helping me make friendships. By 16, they were well-established and I set up my own social life. I can't imagine being a 16 year old and my mom setting up play dates for me. I'm not saying that's what's happening here, but like I said- I'm having a tough time envisioning the life-style.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 10, 2014 12:55:06 GMT -5
The other thing that DW and I insisted on was hiring 2 babysitters that worked the entire reception. The room where the groomsmen and I got ready was cleaned up and turned into a giant kids play room with a lot of games, movies, toys that we brought in so that every adult there could relax and enjoy themselves with all the beer and the kids didn't get bored ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/smiley.png)
That's awesome- what an amazingly thoughtful thing to do!
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 10, 2014 11:19:51 GMT -5
Just goes to show, everyone is different. If someone gave me a fake poinsettia, it would go straight to goodwill the next day (after a very gracious thank you, of course).
I think it's great that you've got the right conditions to have kept the poinsettia alive and looking good. The local Cleaners has a window filled with gorgeous geraniums that bloom year round and poinsettias that are very attractive green bushy plants. I wish I could get something like that going. I've never had much luck with keeping geraniums or poinsettias alive indoors.
I'm seen my share of stringy, yellowed, nearly leaf free poinsettias in Aug/Sept that people just can't seem to part with. There's usually a couple in people's offices at work... and I have seen the sorry things banished to back porches or out of the way rooms in people's homes. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/idunno.gif)
FWIW: I've got "evil miniature Pink African Violets" in pots on my kitchen window sill. They refuse to die. When they get big and overgrown I propagate a handful of 'babies' and start over. I've had them going for nearly 16 years. I found I can get them to bloom riotously for Thanksgiving/Christmas if I start hitting them regularly with a lot of fertilizer in September.
My conditions are no different than any other window in a temperature-controlled house. It's 40 degrees outside right now and the lows are in the 20's. Poinsettias are tropical plants, so my outside conditions are absolutely not good. I empty my water glass in it maybe twice a month. This summer, it started looking a little limp and wilted, so I sprinkled it with some miracle grow thinking that it might be the end. It perked right back up and sprouted some new leaves. That's it, no other maintenance. Right now, I have only two red leaves, but it will be super cool if they all turn red again. I read that if it has complete darkness for 14 hours/day, they will turn red again. But, I'm going to leave it alone.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 10, 2014 11:02:16 GMT -5
Can you be more specific about focus on more exercise? Are you doing exercise at home or joining organized sports? Organized sports would get him away from the screen and interacting with kids his age. I second, more 1 on 1 quality time with dad.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 9, 2014 14:02:52 GMT -5
Just goes to show, everyone is different. If someone gave me a fake poinsettia, it would go straight to goodwill the next day (after a very gracious thank you, of course).
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 9, 2014 13:59:20 GMT -5
I'm actually surprised Sundays are still sacred. The mall might actually re-claim some business if they opened before noon on Sundays. Where do you live? I've spent most of my life in the southwest. Everything is open Sundays, except in those couple states where liquor stores aren't allowed to sell on Sundays. The south, and yes- no liquor on Sundays and no libraries on Sunday. The big box stores get all the business on Sundays.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 9, 2014 11:26:09 GMT -5
I don't understand why indoor plants are a bad idea and just because somebody doesn't have them, doesn't mean they wouldn't like them. Potted herb plants would go right in a window, not outside. And, if they only last a month, who cares- it's still thoughtful and useful for that month.
My MIL brought over a beautiful poinsettia last year for Thanksgiving at my house. It was in a nice planter with vines. It looked gorgeous on the dining room table. After the holidays, I moved it to a sunny spot in my home office window and it's still alive and more gorgeous than ever. Everyone is amazed I kept it alive for a whole year. I only have one other indoor plant.
If it were me, I'd bring a poinsettia and a breakfast bread- banana nut or zucchini for the morning to both houses and not give it another thought. But, I try to avoid giving people more "stuff." I'm dying to make that lemonade drink and would be thrilled if anyone brought that to my house! Food, beverage and potted flowers are always welcome at my house.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 9, 2014 11:07:53 GMT -5
I'm actually surprised Sundays are still sacred. The mall might actually re-claim some business if they opened before noon on Sundays.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 7, 2014 11:53:11 GMT -5
I've been begging for a window seat with storage to be built in my bedroom walk-out bay window, but I doubt I'll get it. Something like this: ![window](http://www.skroutzondeck.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/furniture-long-white-bay-window-seating-with-double-storage-space-inside-13-fascinating-bay-window-seat-design-with-storage-for-your-inspirations.jpg) She wants that too but for our living room. I don't because I think it is the perfect spot for a Christmas tree. ![](http://i255.photobucket.com/albums/hh135/cawiau/Mobile%20Uploads/2014-05/FD5C6B66-ED65-4E0A-B87B-E40F45DBDD94_zpsulhcj65u.jpg) It would be a great place for a Christmas tree; however, a Christmas tree is only up one month out of 12. A friend once told me to design your space based on what you need it to be most of the time, not a fraction of the time. Regardless, it can be a future goal as you feel out your new home and prioritize your wants.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 7, 2014 11:03:24 GMT -5
I've been begging for a window seat with storage to be built in my bedroom walk-out bay window, but I doubt I'll get it. Something like this: ![window](http://www.skroutzondeck.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/furniture-long-white-bay-window-seating-with-double-storage-space-inside-13-fascinating-bay-window-seat-design-with-storage-for-your-inspirations.jpg)
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 6, 2014 12:29:20 GMT -5
... Around here, it's legal to give money if the homeless are on the sidewalk, but it's not okay for the homeless (or panhandler) to walk into the street and collect money. The panhandler will be arrested if seen by a police officer who chooses to give the citation. Is residency status or planned use of the funds a part of the law? I have seen our local firefighters use long handled nets to collect donations during their annual burn victim charity drive. People walking into the street is an unsafe practice for the person and drivers. No idea, but I have never seen a fire fighter do that. Several years ago, I did see charity groups set up buckets in medians and wear fluorescent vests to collect funds. They would come off the median if a driver had money from them (same as panhandlers). I'm guessing since I haven't seen anyone do that in probably 10 years, it's not legal either. But, I'm not that familiar with the law. It's worth saying that there are homeless who choose to live that way. My sister is one of them. After years of living on the streets, my dad found her 2 years ago. He set her up in an apartment with the homeless man she was in a relationship with. My dad paid the rent for a whole year while he filled out the paper work and jumped through the hoops to get social security disability approved for her. Things were looking up. She had adequate funds to pay for the apartment on her own- assuming she stayed out of trouble. She had food stamps and even a little bit of money left over for items not covered by food stamps. After 6 months, she started getting restless, we talked her down. After a year, it was just too much. She felt locked down and wanted out. My dad pleaded with her to at least keep the apartment-- reasoning that she could still go live on the streets and if she got sick of it she would have a place to go back to- especially in the winter when it's cold and the summer when it's hot. She refused and broke the lease. She's gotten arrested several times for panhandling and too many arrests means no more disability checks. She's been aggressive with the police several times as well, even spitting in one's face. She's 39 and not a kid. She refuses to take medication to help with her mental illness. She'll go on it and then throw a fit and stop.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 6, 2014 10:52:34 GMT -5
In my city, homeless people get dropped off from the shelter by a bus into a small square park in the middle of downtown. Church groups regularly go that park to drop off supplies and food because that's where they can find folks in need. I have even done that before. What I don't like about it is that the park is right next to the university. There are often muggings and scary things that happen in that area. I just can't imagine dropping off my 18 year old to move into the campus. It's been going on for as long as I can remember and for some reason, it's okay.
Around here, it's legal to give money if the homeless are on the sidewalk, but it's not okay for the homeless (or panhandler) to walk into the street and collect money. The panhandler will be arrested if seen by a police officer who chooses to give the citation.
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