marvholly
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Post by marvholly on Nov 7, 2014 6:45:45 GMT -5
Thanksgiving is at a cousin's. She has been doing it for >40 years. Group is now up to 40-45 people, not counting the highchair crowd. She has the serving pieces needed. Has any/everything her house needs. Several others traditionally bring wine, flowers, candy & nuts.
Christmas is at DD1's. I do think she could use some added serving pieces but still looking for other ideas. I would do glass as they are more versatile (daily & party use).
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Anne_in_VA
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Post by Anne_in_VA on Nov 7, 2014 7:07:13 GMT -5
I've brought a rosemary plant in the past and most seemed to like that. It can be used for cooking and then planted out in the garden. I've also done a small dish garden with some herbs from my local nursery. They usually have some herbs at this time - of course it would be dependent on your part of the country.
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milee
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Post by milee on Nov 7, 2014 7:45:05 GMT -5
I've brought a rosemary plant in the past and most seemed to like that. It can be used for cooking and then planted out in the garden. I've also done a small dish garden with some herbs from my local nursery. They usually have some herbs at this time - of course it would be dependent on your part of the country. I love it when people bring fresh herb plants! Such a thoughtful gift.
If it weren't the holidays, I'd suggest bringing some homemade goodies of whatever your specialty is but everybody is usually already drowning in food around this time, so maybe better to save the homemade delicacies for another time of year when people will really appreciate them.
Some inexpensive but thoughtful ideas: Gorgeous printed party or holiday napkins (disposable). Nobody ever has enough napkins and they can use them immediately or store them easily. If your family drinks alcohol, a simple homemade Coffee Liqueur ciderandrye.com/blog/2013/11/29/coldbrewcoffeeliqueur or Limoncello www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/giada-de-laurentiis/limoncello-recipe.html can be made for less than $20. Will taste best if you make it a few weeks before the event. Those are fun gifts because they're interesting and it's social for people to taste them together.
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skubikky
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Post by skubikky on Nov 7, 2014 8:11:22 GMT -5
You could bring some assortment of coffees and teas.
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Nov 7, 2014 10:03:30 GMT -5
If the gift does not have to be tangible, you could pay for a deep houseclean after the get together.
My uncle gifted my mom with this one time, paid for a housecleaner to come in and clean the entire house after Thanksgiving i.e., and my mom was in heaven!!!! She was esctatic, I tell you. Bestest present ever in her opinion
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Nov 7, 2014 10:24:30 GMT -5
I always give Yankee candles. I wait for the buy one, get one sales and go to town. This year I'm looking at every hostesses alma mater and getting them a candle from there. YC has an entire page dedicated to colleges.
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Urban Chicago
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Post by Urban Chicago on Nov 7, 2014 10:24:40 GMT -5
If you have enough time in advance, you can also offer to "upgrade" the entree. For example, if she usually gets a Butterball turkey, you could order her a free-range organic bird to be delivered a few days before this event. (of course, you need to tell her about this ahead of time).
If christmas dinner is usually a ham, how about a prime rib roast?
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Urban Chicago
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Post by Urban Chicago on Nov 7, 2014 10:37:59 GMT -5
And I love the housecleaning idea!
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Nov 7, 2014 10:53:29 GMT -5
Inexpensive yet appriciated Hostess gifts I've recieved that weren't food: Holiday Sturdy Dishtowels - I don't have a dishwasher. My SILs and I wash all the dishes after dinner (while finishing up the wine.... ) Holiday colored hot mits and pot holders - very helpful with all the cooking (and I think they came from the dollar store - so when the hot mit accidentally got dipped into the 'liquid/fat' of the cooking pan - throwing it away the next day wasn't a big deal. I usually have a chaotic kitchen so weird stuff happens. A SIL gave me homemade crocheted dish wash clothes one year - damn greatest things EVER!! Again - I don't have a dishwasher. Your mileage may vary with these kinds of things for the hostess who has a dishwasher or who doesn't regularly cook (my friends with beautiful kitchens who do not cook - rarely seem to have a dishtowel or dish wash cloth handy - much less a pot holder or a set of oven mits. - they really don't need them.) Scented Candles (someone finally realized that smaller ones (given 2 or 3 at a time) were better than one ginormous one.) I think the little jarred candles are a Martha Stewart thing - I think you can get them at Kohls or Target for under $2.00 each. Homemade "wine glass identifiers" maybe they call them charms? - those things you put on the stem of a wine glass to identify who's glass is whose. Fun and immediately usable! I've seen some sort of 'chalk' or 'ink' pen where you can write/draw on a glass - and it washes off that seems pretty cool too. I've also recieved a holiday decoration - a single ornament or some other holiday tchotcke. Thankfully I don't feel obligated to keep these things 'for ever' so if the thing doesn't float my boat - after a Holiday or two - it gets donated (if it hasn't faded or gotten broken). No one needs to be buried in Clutter.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Nov 7, 2014 10:58:32 GMT -5
If you have enough time in advance, you can also offer to "upgrade" the entree. For example, if she usually gets a Butterball turkey, you could order her a free-range organic bird to be delivered a few days before this event. (of course, you need to tell her about this ahead of time). If christmas dinner is usually a ham, how about a prime rib roast? Just a word of warning, I can see this easily interpreted as "My food isn't good enough for her, so she had the gall to send me the food she thinks I should be cooking". Maybe she makes Butterball because she really likes Butterball, or ham because she loves ham.
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Nov 7, 2014 11:01:38 GMT -5
Mil hosts every year. I do the dishes and help clean up afterwords. While not on the same level of the housecleaner- she loves it because DH and I are the only ones that do anything to help out.
The others eat their fill, sit around while we do dishes, then leave. MIL hates it on the years we can't come because she gets stuck doing everything.
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Nov 7, 2014 11:22:38 GMT -5
If you have enough time in advance, you can also offer to "upgrade" the entree. For example, if she usually gets a Butterball turkey, you could order her a free-range organic bird to be delivered a few days before this event. (of course, you need to tell her about this ahead of time). If christmas dinner is usually a ham, how about a prime rib roast? Just a word of warning, I can see this easily interpreted as "My food isn't good enough for her, so she had the gall to send me the food she thinks I should be cooking". Maybe she makes Butterball because she really likes Butterball, or ham because she loves ham. Yeah, this can be a bit tricky. You need to know the personality/holiday feelings that the cook has. That said, I know a 'Foodie' friend who would think this was the greatest thing ever - since it would allow her to try cooking/eating something she hadn't done before. I know a couple of other 'adventurous' cooks who probably also think a specialty turkey or whatever that they would then cook would be super awesome! These people are more about the 'adventure' and 'new experiences' than they are about 'tradition'. FWIW: my immediate family is disturbed by anything that disrupts "tradition" - Christmas dinner must be EXACTLY like it's been for the last 50 plus years - right down to the big bowl of mashed rutabega that no one eats. One year I neglected to make the mash rutabega and that's all everyone talked about - how there was no mashed rutabega - how it just wasn't Christmas - mind you NO ONE EATS IT.... some people put a small spoonful on their plate - which eventually gets scraped into the trash. I know this because I've cleaned up the dishes... The mashed rutabega just needs to be there. I've already made this years 'bowl of mashed rutabega' and stuck it in the freezer. It will make it's appearance on the buffet and go directly to the trash. In other words - you might be messing with a time honored tradition if you suggest changing up the main dish.
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Urban Chicago
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Post by Urban Chicago on Nov 7, 2014 14:22:43 GMT -5
\ I agree this can be tricky, that's why you have to work it out in advance with the hostess, but I would love this! Fortunately, our "traditional food" is the potatoes and pumkin cheesecake. It's never come down to brand of turkey.
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Nov 7, 2014 14:53:31 GMT -5
Coffee or wine is good because they can serve it or not and not need to deal with it right during a holiday.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Nov 7, 2014 15:15:52 GMT -5
Just a word of warning, I can see this easily interpreted as "My food isn't good enough for her, so she had the gall to send me the food she thinks I should be cooking". Maybe she makes Butterball because she really likes Butterball, or ham because she loves ham. Yeah, this can be a bit tricky. You need to know the personality/holiday feelings that the cook has. That said, I know a 'Foodie' friend who would think this was the greatest thing ever - since it would allow her to try cooking/eating something she hadn't done before. I know a couple of other 'adventurous' cooks who probably also think a specialty turkey or whatever that they would then cook would be super awesome! These people are more about the 'adventure' and 'new experiences' than they are about 'tradition'. FWIW: my immediate family is disturbed by anything that disrupts "tradition" - Christmas dinner must be EXACTLY like it's been for the last 50 plus years - right down to the big bowl of mashed rutabega that no one eats. One year I neglected to make the mash rutabega and that's all everyone talked about - how there was no mashed rutabega - how it just wasn't Christmas - mind you NO ONE EATS IT.... some people put a small spoonful on their plate - which eventually gets scraped into the trash. I know this because I've cleaned up the dishes... The mashed rutabega just needs to be there. I've already made this years 'bowl of mashed rutabega' and stuck it in the freezer. It will make it's appearance on the buffet and go directly to the trash. In other words - you might be messing with a time honored tradition if you suggest changing up the main dish. My FIL has these types of "traditions." Unfortunately, I was not told of them.
One year I ruined his Christmas because I served prime rib and crab legs. "Everyone knows you have turkey on Christmas." Um, ok...........
ETA: Of course he doesn't cook anything, ever, but the menu must be what he thinks it should be.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Nov 7, 2014 15:42:14 GMT -5
I bring two gifts to my Christmas Day hostess each year:
1) a set or two of funny cocktail-size napkins (we go through them during the appetizer course, and everyone gets a good laugh at the sayings on them).
2) An ornament for her Christmas tree. Just a small one that has a connection to her personally.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 7, 2014 18:13:28 GMT -5
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marvholly
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Post by marvholly on Nov 8, 2014 7:35:29 GMT -5
Anne Plants are NOT a good idea here in northern IL. We are getting hit w/a COLD polar vortex this week.
Swasat Cousin has a regular housecleaner. DD would NEVER allow this.
Tiny I have given dish towels, pot holders, oven mits & guest hand towels to cousin. Will think about for DD. Wine glass identifiers would work for cousin but not DD as she does NOT serve alcohol.
Abby Cousin has hired help to help serve and do most of the cleanup.
Coffee does not work in either household because only 1 person drinks coffee. Tea usually goes into DD’s stocking stuffer stuff – she is the only tea drinker of the entire group.
Neither household is into any indoor plants.
Some of these ideas will be GREAT for next year - buying on sale after the holiday.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Nov 8, 2014 7:41:44 GMT -5
Anne Plants are NOT a good idea here in northern IL. We are getting hit w/a COLD polar vortex this week. Swasat Cousin has a regular housecleaner. DD would NEVER allow this. Tiny I have given dish towels, pot holders, oven mits & guest hand towels to cousin. Will think about for DD. Wine glass identifiers would work for cousin but not DD as she does NOT serve alcohol. Abby Cousin has hired help to help serve and do most of the cleanup. Coffee does not work in either household because only 1 person drinks coffee. Tea usually goes into DD’s stocking stuffer stuff – she is the only tea drinker of the entire group. Neither household is into any indoor plants.
Some of these ideas will be GREAT for next year - buying on sale after the holiday. I think just showing up empty handed in this case might be the safest thing since nothing seems to be good idea/helpful/thoughtful Or just hand them a $50 and say spend it on something they might like?
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Nov 8, 2014 18:34:05 GMT -5
Honestly, I would not be offended is someone said, "hey, here's a $10/$20/$50 because I don't know what to get you and don't want to be rude."
I love the housekeeper idea. I have someone who cleans the floors every other week, but it would be nice if someone threw $20/$40 for another hour or two of clean-up.
I hVE ANOTHER QUESTION...WOAH HIT THE CAPSLocks. I think it's an adjacent topic though. I'll start a new thread.
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Nov 8, 2014 19:50:38 GMT -5
If your DD is not adverse to festive non-alcoholic drinks (and I don't mean fake beer or wine.) what about a bottle of sparkling grape juice (or other flavor non alcoholic festive drink sparkling juice)? It's kind of wine like - but there's so many fruity options. I suspect there are some combinations of the sparkling juice and something else to make festive non-alcoholic drinks (google would do the trick) What about bringing an already prepared Eggnog (I like Oberwiess) and some nutmeg to add to the top? Or what about spicing some apple cider (I'm sure there's recipes on line).
Another thought - what about a small loaf of some sort of specialty bread or bakery (I had a rosemary/lemon bread that was to die for!) The Hoity Toity groceries seem to have all sorts of designer breads. Or is there a local "mom and pop" bakery where you can pick up something? I know my hostess would love a Cinnamon Raisin Bread or Houska or maybe 6 Kolacky from the bohemian bakery... (mental note to self - buy houska to take at Thanksgiving a hostess gift....)
Was there anything from your DD's childhood - a food/cookie - that maybe you all haven't had in years? Maybe something like that would be appreciated.
For the cousin's event what about going the "hoity toity" route and giving a small box of expensive chocolates or a specialty jelly or jam (pepper jelly or tomato jam or onion jam)? There's all sorts of stuff to be had on line.
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marvholly
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Post by marvholly on Nov 9, 2014 7:06:37 GMT -5
tiny There is a bar cookie that DD1 LOVES and I do not think has ever made. I would add another dessert or 2 and bring an entire tray. For the cousin I guess a Whole Foods trip may be in order. I wish video rental storews still existed as I would do a basket w/a gift car for that pluse bags of popcorn, a couple botles of beer and ?
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Ombud
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Post by Ombud on Nov 9, 2014 10:09:51 GMT -5
Anne Plants are NOT a good idea here in northern IL. We are getting hit w/a COLD polar vortex this week. Swasat Cousin has a regular housecleaner. DD would NEVER allow this. Tiny I have given dish towels, pot holders, oven mits & guest hand towels to cousin. Will think about for DD. Wine glass identifiers would work for cousin but not DD as she does NOT serve alcohol. Abby Cousin has hired help to help serve and do most of the cleanup. Coffee does not work in either household because only 1 person drinks coffee. Tea usually goes into DD’s stocking stuffer stuff – she is the only tea drinker of the entire group. Neither household is into any indoor plants. Some of these ideas will be GREAT for next year - buying on sale after the holiday.So why aren't they great for this year? Must everything be on sale? If so, the Veterans Day sales aren't good enough?
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 9, 2014 11:26:09 GMT -5
I don't understand why indoor plants are a bad idea and just because somebody doesn't have them, doesn't mean they wouldn't like them. Potted herb plants would go right in a window, not outside. And, if they only last a month, who cares- it's still thoughtful and useful for that month.
My MIL brought over a beautiful poinsettia last year for Thanksgiving at my house. It was in a nice planter with vines. It looked gorgeous on the dining room table. After the holidays, I moved it to a sunny spot in my home office window and it's still alive and more gorgeous than ever. Everyone is amazed I kept it alive for a whole year. I only have one other indoor plant.
If it were me, I'd bring a poinsettia and a breakfast bread- banana nut or zucchini for the morning to both houses and not give it another thought. But, I try to avoid giving people more "stuff." I'm dying to make that lemonade drink and would be thrilled if anyone brought that to my house! Food, beverage and potted flowers are always welcome at my house.
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Nov 9, 2014 13:45:55 GMT -5
Not dissing the indoor plant idea - but here are some reasons it might not be a good idea: There are pets that would get into the plants (cats are notorious for this). ADDED or perhaps mischievous toddlers. The recipient has a clutter free, low maintenance house and a plant eventually becomes clutter and requires maintenance. Or maybe they like to maintain the "magazine spread" perfect look for their home and a plant/herb is NOT in that picture. (FWIW: I have two friends like this - one clutter free and the other 'picture perfect')
Then there is the the kind of person who can't let go of a gift and if you give them a plant they will feel absolutely HORRIBLE if it dies or if they don't attempt to keep it displayed so you can see it when you visit for years. (I have a friend like this... she will eventually become a hoarder I'm sure).
In the above cases an indoor plant works well if both the giver and the givee are internally on the same page that the plant will be admired for a day or two and then out to the trash it goes. No hurt feelings on either side.
If I was contemplating a 'plant gift' for any of the above - it would be a 'fake' poinsettia plant from Michaels - I'd choose a realistic one for the clutter free house, I'd try to find an unnatural white, pink, or mauve one -with glitter or a very fancy pot for the 'picture perfect house' and for the last friend I'd choose something that had pine picks and maybe little presents on a pick - something that was shiney and had a lot of stuff going on that screamed "commercial holiday Christmas!". I'm not being mean or judgemental - it's just the stuff they like.
In all three cases they could easily donate (the keeper friend can get herself to donate stuff) or trash the fake flowers immediately after Christmas.
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Nov 9, 2014 13:55:30 GMT -5
FWIW: the thing with gifts is that they should ALWAYS be graciously accepted and judgement should not be made... but we all know that doesn't always happen. It goes both ways.
There's also the oddness when moving outside one's social circle (or financial circle). generic example: What do you bring to the dinner that's hosted by the multi millionaire's in their 5000 square foot house that doesn't look 'cheap' when you're living at or below the median income range (50-60k)? Choose your own "that would be weird" scenario - different religious traditions, different cultural traditions, whatever...
There's a tangled web of expectations and 'etiquette' where not everyone is on the same page.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 9, 2014 14:02:52 GMT -5
Just goes to show, everyone is different. If someone gave me a fake poinsettia, it would go straight to goodwill the next day (after a very gracious thank you, of course).
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Nov 9, 2014 14:38:20 GMT -5
maybe bring some nice treats she may like, and let her know they are for HER. One of my faves is the dark chocolate covered caramels with sea salt from Whole foods. They run about $8 ish for a pack. They are fantastic, but at $8 a pop i don't buy them too often. Trader Joe's has something similar, but they just aren't on par with those from Whole Foods. Or hit up Mariano's the one near me (in ravenswood) has a lovely counter where they do fresh fudge and chocolate covered strawberries and other such snacks. You can get a selection and pair it with wine if she is into wine. Then tell her it is jsut for her to enjoy after the chaos of hosting is over!
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Nov 9, 2014 15:12:39 GMT -5
Just goes to show, everyone is different. If someone gave me a fake poinsettia, it would go straight to goodwill the next day (after a very gracious thank you, of course).
I think it's great that you've got the right conditions to have kept the poinsettia alive and looking good. The local Cleaners has a window filled with gorgeous geraniums that bloom year round and poinsettias that are very attractive green bushy plants. I wish I could get something like that going. I've never had much luck with keeping geraniums or poinsettias alive indoors.
I'm seen my share of stringy, yellowed, nearly leaf free poinsettias in Aug/Sept that people just can't seem to part with. There's usually a couple in people's offices at work... and I have seen the sorry things banished to back porches or out of the way rooms in people's homes.
FWIW: I've got "evil miniature Pink African Violets" in pots on my kitchen window sill. They refuse to die. When they get big and overgrown I propagate a handful of 'babies' and start over. I've had them going for nearly 16 years. I found I can get them to bloom riotously for Thanksgiving/Christmas if I start hitting them regularly with a lot of fertilizer in September.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 9, 2014 16:16:07 GMT -5
Yeah, much rather a living herb than a fake, well any flower..
I don't understand what about weather makes an indoor plant inappropriate?
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