gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on May 8, 2015 20:31:23 GMT -5
Congratulations! It sounds like you got it all figured out. Sometimes I feel like the only person who having a kid didn't cost anymore. Instead of spending crazy amounts of money on clothes and going out- I spend it on daycare. Vacations cost about the same. We haven't purchased new cars. We did buy a big house when my first turned 2 and I was expecting my second. We opened the 529s after we got social security numbers. I'm actually surprised you can do that before birth.
Like you, we debated a stay at home parent. At the end, we decided it would be prudent that we both continued to work. Neither of us love working and fantasize about retirement, but we stay the course. Expect to have another conversation. 5 months is great, though.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on May 8, 2015 13:28:01 GMT -5
but, but...doesn't your outerwear become your underwear if you don't wear anything under it?
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Apr 28, 2015 15:47:37 GMT -5
Many of my friends and co-workers approached me about hosting a baby shower for me when I was pregnant with my first. I turned them all down because I didn't want to put additional financial strain on the host or my friends. I ended up with 3 surprise showers. I couldn't believe how nice everyone was to do that for me. Believe it or not, there are people out there that actually want to celebrate a new life. Nobody was more surprised than I was- which probably means I've been on this board too long.
That said, I also love getting invites to my friends' showers. But, I don't have any asshole friends, so I'm delighted to celebrate and bring generous gifts- whether the first or subsequent.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Apr 28, 2015 13:14:23 GMT -5
You could use meal train to organize the meals: www.mealtrain.com/I loved it when my co-workers and neighbors did this for me. It was porch drop-off, so no need to be there or even open the door if I wasn't up for it.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Apr 17, 2015 6:15:47 GMT -5
I've only been on a cruise once and it was Holland America. One of the best vacation I ever took. It was Oct 2011 and the ship was only 50% capacity. It was hurricane season and 6 weeks after September 11. It was a 8 day/7 night cruise to the Bahamas, Virgin Islands and Puerto Rico. Food and service were amazing. The cruise was discounted at $500. I never felt trapped on the ship for days. They set it up so you're at sea one day, followed by port-o-call the next day. People told me how awful cruises are and I'd be the only young person on the ship, but they were wrong, I had a great time! I never slept so deeply in my life being in an interior cabin. My body could feel the soft movement and it was totally dark and quiet.
I had a similar experience at an all-inclusive resort in Cancun. It was May 2009, right after the swine flu panic. As result the trip was only $600 for 6 days, including airfare. Again, the food and service were amazing and the resort was less than 50% occupied.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Apr 3, 2015 14:48:49 GMT -5
I have my moments with this as well. I should really be embarrassed by my car. Everyone and I mean everyone has nicer, newer cars. But, I'm a keep it forever kind of person. My 1998 maxima keeps going and my net worth keeps growing.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Apr 3, 2015 14:34:52 GMT -5
It sounds okay to me. I didn't have any rules or a curfew, but I didn't need them. I was good kid with perfect attendance (yeah, I was that dork with 18 years perfect attendance) and good grades. I had boys upstairs all the time, but I never had sex and never got in trouble. My parents recognized it and let me be. My curfew was "be reasonable". By senior year, reasonable was 2:00 AM. Good luck. I don't know what I'll do if my daughters end up like my older sister who rebelled against everything. She went to juvi for shop-lifting, got kicked out of high school, got pregnant, did drugs, etc. My parents tried rules with her, didn't work. Her life did not turn out well. Every kid is different and you know best.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Mar 30, 2015 15:30:10 GMT -5
It still seems a little extreme. If they want them out, just give the 60 days notice. It's been 16 years, seems weird that there would be this much urgency.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Mar 30, 2015 14:57:21 GMT -5
I'd prefer not to rent to dog-owners, but not because of potential damage to the units. I don't want to have to deal with complaints from neighbors or the HOA if they let the dog out and it barks too much, if they don't clean up common areas after walking the dog or if their dog is aggressive with someone. I'd only consider if they paid at least $25/month extra and a pet deposit. I'd have an easier time renting to a cat-owner, but there are also bad cat owners who let their cats out to wonder around and they mess up flower beds or antagonize other pets.
Nobody likes to talk directly to a person anymore, instead they go to the landlord or HOA who goes to the landlord. So, while this tenant may not think anyone has any problems with the 4 pets, maybe there have been complaints that led to the notice.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Mar 30, 2015 14:02:57 GMT -5
Tough situation. I'm actually surprised your county even allows that many pets in a single resident- much less an apartment complex. My county limits 3 adult pets per resident without a kennel license and most apartment complexes don't allow any. I rent out a unit in an HOA and the HOA has a 2 per household limit. Another one of my units in an HOA only allows 1. If you've been able to keep 4 pets in a rent controlled apartment with no increases and no pet fees for 16 years, that's freakin' amazing!
Good luck to you, if I was a tenant who wanted to keep my rent-controlled unit and haven't had any issues in the past, I too would try to speak as nicely as possible about the situation. Nobody wins if the relationship turns nasty. It sounds like she's willing to compromise.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Mar 20, 2015 12:04:18 GMT -5
I moved back home after college. My parents lived in a beautiful home, they bought the groceries, cooked for me, didn't expect me to clean, I kept my room and bathroom as I wanted (which was typically neat) and didn't expect me to give them any money. They expected me to save my money and didn't give me a hard time about anything. So I did, payed off some debt, and moved out 9 months later.
They did the same for my sister and she moved out 4 months later. My parents have never needed to support either of us in the 15 years since graduating college and getting real jobs.
I wonder why it's so hard for others.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Mar 12, 2015 14:43:45 GMT -5
I don't know what I'm going to do when my kids need help with math. I guess I'll be stuck paying for a tutor. Math is probably the number one reason I never want to pursue another degree or taking any placement/admission tests.
On the other hand, my dad was in his 40's when he tutored me through honors geometry, AP algebra and AP calculus. He could look at a couple of practice examples and sit down with me for an hour until the light bulb went off or until he had enough of the tears. I got to college and only had to take one semester of math. I guess some geeks really do hang onto it for life.
Good luck getting it back.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Mar 10, 2015 17:36:35 GMT -5
The purpose of the affinity groups I belong to aren't to exclude, they are to educate and advocate. I wanted to be an ally for LGBT, so I joined even though I'm heterosexual. Same for other groups. I had similar experiences in the meetings I attended, groups I joined and courses I took in college. It's about inclusion rather than exclusion.
So, maybe my "affinity" experience is different, but I thought it was to link a group together by interest or purpose. If his cause was that every black life matters, I don't think he should have excluded other races.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Mar 10, 2015 16:35:29 GMT -5
It sounds like to me the principal was projecting his feelings about how hard/easy it is to talk about racial issues. Since he had a hard time talking about his experience with people who did not look like him, he assumes his student body would as well. Maybe so, maybe not.
I'm part of several affinity groups. I'm not necessarily the right gender, sexual orientation, or race for which each of these affinity groups were founded. But, I joined the affinity groups because I support their cause and want to be part of the solution. I think the principal missed an opportunity and likely created more problems with his good intentions.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Mar 9, 2015 10:36:43 GMT -5
Sorry to hear about your mother in law. My grandma fell, broke her hip and got diagnosed with cancer when she was 80. She beat it and lived another 13 years in her house alone without the need for caregivers. Her mind stayed sharp until the end as well. Maybe your MIL will be okay as well and this will be your chance to build a real relationship and not just a financial relationship.
ETA- I was pretty close with my grandma but got no inheritance. As far as I know, she split whatever she had evenly between her two sons (my dad and uncle). But, I really have no idea what was in the will. My dad brought it up a year after her death and said she left him some money and he wanted to see if I could use 10K. I told him I didn't need any money, but maybe setting up a 529 would be a good use for it. So, he did. Maybe that counts, but the account isn't in my name so I've never actually seen it or any account details. I have no idea if he had the same conversation with my sisters, but I'm guessing he did. He's very fair and a man of his word.
All 4 of my grandparents are gone and my mom is gone and I've never received an inheritance. It never occurred to me to ask why.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Mar 8, 2015 21:54:12 GMT -5
I love daylight savings time and was thrilled they extended the season. On Saturday, the sun rose at 6:15 and set at 6:15. I much prefer a 7:15 sunrise to 7:15 sunset and have that hour of daylight back in the evening. Regardless, by May the sun will be up by 6:15 again and the longest day of the year, it rises at 5:45 and sets at 8:45. I would HATE it if the sun rose at 4:45. It's bad enough having to listen to the birds that early. On the other hand, in the dead of winter, there is less than 10 hours of daylight, so not much you can do about getting to see any of it during a normal work-week. I think shifting the time an hour makes a lot of sense because you can't have the kids out waiting in the pitch dark for the bus, which is exactly what would happen if daylight savings was year round. I set the clocks Saturday morning and split the difference at bed time. The kids and I had no trouble adapting and they went to bed right on time tonight.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Mar 3, 2015 13:57:00 GMT -5
If it makes anyone feel any better, my daycare bill is about 75K for 5 years per kid and I still have to provide their housing, then I'll have to pay for after-school care. I have to cash-flow the $2500/month and they are too little to pay for any themselves. I feel like daycare is just preparing me for college tuition.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Mar 3, 2015 9:57:49 GMT -5
I booked a condo by the beach once. I was pretty disappointed. The place smelled like piss, the other homeowners were anti-vacationers, and the pool looked way better in the picture. In reality, the pool was small and plastic. I spent 3 hours cleaning the place when I got there and 3 hours cleaning it to the specification on the list before I left. $125 of my payment including cleaning fees and there was a warning if you didn't leave it clean, you'd pay another $250. I suspect the homeowner just collects the fees and doesn't always get the professional cleaning service. Regarding the other homeowners, they griped at vacationers for not totally cleaning sand off their feet, complained about the babies in diapers in the pool, and pretty much hounded anyone who they thought might be breaking a rule.
I didn't leave a review because the homeowner lives in my neighborhood, but if I had- it would have been critical. Based on that experience, if I want a week vacation at the beach, I will book at a vacation resort where everyone is chill and all I have to do for check-in is unpack my stuff and for check-out, pack, load the dishwasher and strip the beds. It's a real bummer when you work full-time and when you finally get a week at the beach, you can't even relax because you need to tip-toe around the busy bodies.
I might reconsider VRBO if I was exploring a new city and wasn't worried about relaxation.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Mar 2, 2015 22:15:53 GMT -5
That's how they justify it, but I've found there are basically no jobs that Americans are too lazy to do. There are however jobs that Americans won't do at certain wage levels. I flatly refuse to live in shitty bunk housing with no running water and pick strawberries for $3 an hour. Won't do it. There are far too many better opportunities out there. I'm not too good to pick strawberries, but I am too good to do it for $3 an hour and five square feet of sleeping space in a tiny trailer crammed with bunk beds that I share with 20 other people. Illegals from south of the border will work for that just to get a legal way into the country knowing that if they get hitched and have a kid they get to stay for life. Same deal with H1B visas. Companies are saying they can't find database admins, programmers, and all kinds of IT specialties in the US. Everyone knows it's bullshit. Our universities pump out tens of thousands of them ever year. What they can't find are US kids with US size student loans that will do those jobs for $20-30k a year. Indian kids with no student loans will, again because they get a legal way into the country in the bargain. I'm not too lazy to work for $20k, but I am too proud to sell my skills for that pittance, especially since I know they're worth far higher than that on a market where companies can't force me to compete on price with some kid from New Delhi. Increasing H1B visa limits isn't allowing companies to fill jobs that are otherwise unfillable because Americans are lazy. It's allowing them to force American citizens to compete on labor price with third world economies and much weaker currencies than ours. It's labor price fixing. Pure and simple. Take the job for half what it should pay, or we bring in some third world immigrant who will be more than happy to come over for next to nothing so he can attend graduate school at American universities, raise a family here that will have American citizenship, and quite frankly probably doesn't realize that $30k a year in US dollars isn't actually that much money. I see your point, but somebody coming out of college should take the 30K/year job and realize it's just a starting salary. I swallowed my pride and took the 23K/year job when I got out of college. Great if you get to be the one who snags the high salary job right out of school, but if not- take that starting salary and make it rain.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Mar 1, 2015 11:10:12 GMT -5
I have the pleasure of managing both contractors and full-time employees, in the same positions. The contractors don't want the full-time positions. They are happy contracting, where they get paid more hourly and for every hour they work, work from home, can negotiate their hours and take as much time off as they want. If they finish a contract, they can choose whether to take another one immediately or take a break. There is a woman who contracts with us who has managed to take off the whole summer the past 15 years. That would never work for a full-time employee. I've offered two full-time jobs and they don't want them.
In a global economy where modern employees value flexible hours, I can definitely see the benefit of contracting. I think it's great that there are two type of employment.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 27, 2015 16:52:54 GMT -5
Hey, at least it's honest. Not all babies are cute, though it's not their fault. Sometimes, you get offspring that swim in the perfect end of the gene pool. And sometimes, you get a belly flop. I like babies. I like kids. But not every one of them is a poster child for cuteness. You look at some of them, and wonder if their parents thought the procreation thing through. Sometimes, couples have to look in the mirror and be honest: "Hmmm....do we want to produce kids with protruding foreheads, buck teeth and skin with more craters than the moon? After all, if we did, they'd look like us. Should we really inflict that upon humanity?" But why say anything at all about the baby's looks? It sounds like this poster has an issue with the parents, so it just seems unnecessarily cruel to pick on a baby's appearance. But, then I can't think of too many scenarios where picking on a baby's appearance would be appropriate.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 27, 2015 16:17:58 GMT -5
Sometimes you have to look like you are happy and care about what's going on. SIL just had baby #6, ugly little thing, and another one on to add to the welfare rolls. I hope it's their last, but she's under 30, so she's got a few breeding years left. Don't really care, just tired of the drama, wants everyone to feel sorry for her because life hard taking care of all those kids, but she doesn't seem to want to stop having them, reminds me of the red neck family from the Simpsons. That's a really nasty way to talk about an innocent baby.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 27, 2015 13:45:45 GMT -5
and nobody has sued over that? that would not work here....you can't RIF positions and then hire new people into that same position. It's not the same position. They got rid of two Sr. Engineers and hired an entry level one. Product Engineer I instead of III. It sucks, but seriously, from a business aspect, I get why. The older ones were getting 5 weeks of vacation, set in their ways, not willing to put in all the extra hours. This new girl is hungry to move up. She's here nights and weekends and is probably covering what both those guys did at 25% of the cost. It's funny you should say this because my boss refers to a group of people as the "5 weekers" and how she "hates" the "5 weekers." I cringe every time she says it even though I know she doesn't mean it offensively. She's trying to be funny. But, the underlying issue is that managers do not always applaud loyalty when it comes at the cost of higher salaries and more vacation. Slide on your performance, and you're gone.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 26, 2015 12:51:53 GMT -5
So what's everyone having for lunch today? Mine is looking okay, I think. Spinach leafs with baby carrots and poppy seed salad dressing, about 10 black berries, a baby bella cheese and a slice of french bread with butter.
I haven't actually ever made a different meal for my kids, but they are still little. My sisters and I always ate what was in front of us as kids. My step-mother cooked for us every night. She was really good at making a well-rounded dinner and she always had dinner on the table by 6:30 at the latest, normally 6- that's with getting home from work at 5:30.
I rarely complained, but I did not like meatloaf or chicken livers. She was great about burying the brussel sprouts, broccoli and cauliflower in cheese so we would not just eat it, but love it. I cannot imagine throwing a fit or refusing to eat what she cooked. It just seems really disrespectful. It'll be interesting if I feel the pressure to give into picky eaters. I understand there are a lot of considerations and everyone is just trying to make sure their kids eat.
Also, I think it's really easy to complain about the school food, but very hypocritical if we're not serving the food we consider healthy and delicious at home, as pictured from around the world.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 26, 2015 10:34:53 GMT -5
I know dozens of people at my company who have had cancer, strokes, injuries and so on in their late 40's or 50's and either died or never returned. In addition to my co-workers, I have some friends whose husbands had strokes in their 50's. These were people who never planned on retiring but had to. There are people in their late 60's who report to me, they are doing okay, but they work from home. Now that my department must return to an office, they are getting medical exemptions to continue to work from home and be okay. If they were not able to obtain the medical exemption, I suspect they would retire or performance would suffer such that they'd be laid off. Of course, I also know plenty of people still working business as usual in their 50's and 60's and I know plenty who planned all along to retire by that point.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 25, 2015 23:05:26 GMT -5
(just read an article about how hard it is for low income families to make home cooked meals - and one of the issues was that who ever was cooking had to be a short order cook - because not all the kids would eat what was served I agree with everything you wrote except for this part, I don't think being a short-order cook is limited to low-income families. Pretty much every family I know has to accommodate with customized meals- whether it be a gluten issue, dairy issues, food allergies, a special diet for behavioral issues, somebody is vegan or vegetarian, and so on. Making specific meals for each person in the family seems to be the norm these days, so fast food is that much easier.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 25, 2015 19:27:00 GMT -5
Yes. IN MY OPINION However, like I said, it's all gravy if you don't get forced out at 50, but a good idea to be prepared so that you'd be OK if you were and you are GREAT if you don't. considering at least half my coworkers are older than me, it's not even on my radar. hell, we hire people who retire from the government after their 30 years so they're all over 50. what industry are you in that 50 is considered old? 50 is not considered "old" in my industry, but I do see a lot of people in their 50's getting laid off. I suspect it's because they are getting paid too much and not performing well enough to justify their high salaries. The last person in my company this happened to was given the choice of an administrative position or to resign. She took the 3rd option- retirement. She was 55 and definitely not old. It's good that it's not a concern at your company but I have definitely been financially planning to retire in my 50's, so that I don't have to scramble if I get my walking papers. There is an EEOC regulation for age discrimination over 40, so I'm surprised this surprises you.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 24, 2015 21:24:14 GMT -5
Total ignorance here but many years ago (1st gulf war) the school my kids attended in Bangkok was closed for a few weeks due to terrorism threats. All those missed days were made up by making everyone go to school on Saturdays for a couple of months. Is that not on the table anywhere in the US as a solution to excess snow/bad weather days? I mean the material has to be covered somehow and without sufficient time alloted to it, how will that be accomplished? In my county, if they use up all the built-in snow days, they just add 15 minutes to the day for the remainder of the year and don't have to add any additional days. As long as they can get to 990 instructional hours, they've met the contractual agreement.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 24, 2015 19:11:22 GMT -5
I just wish it wasn't every school in the entire county that had the same go, no go, delay decisions. The elementary school is right in the middle of my neighborhood and the boundaries are the neighborhood. Every house is within 2 miles of the school and there are no major roads, only neighborhood roods. So, even if the buses didn't run, parents could easily drop-off. That's very different than the schools in the more rural parts of the county. Very few non-government employers shut down for road conditions, so people have to get in the car anyway. School was closed every day last week, but day cares were open.
I work for a bank. If there was one branch that had dangerous conditions, that branch would close- not every branch in the area. So, I guess that's why I have a tough with the decisions being so inclusive. But, then for-profit companies lose a lot more for being closed. Schools have very little to lose by closing.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 23, 2015 16:18:52 GMT -5
I don't understand the ceiling fan hate. I can't stand sleeping without one in the summer. They save me a lot of money on my power bill while leaving me perfectly comfortable. One of the first things we did was put ceiling fan/light combos in every bedroom.
My garage is pretty ugly, but I love not needing a coat, umbrella or any time to defrost the car in the winter and no time to cool it down in the summer. I can leave my house in my pajamas if I just want to drive through the bank or get food, and none of my neighbors can see what I'm wearing.
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