gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 20, 2015 14:01:09 GMT -5
It doesn't surprise me at all. The police were just following up on a complaint and people love complaining. I'm on a neighborhood facebook page that is actually a swap page, but people use it to complain sometimes. There are over 1000 members and my neighborhood has 1600 homes. Somebody posted about a car with a woman inside just sitting in it and how suspicious it looked. It was more than likely somebody looking to buy a home in the neighborhood since there are several for sale. But, 30 people commented about it being creepy and called the cops on her. Why somebody didn't want to just say hello, I don't know. She checked out okay.
Another person posted a picture of a truck with snow still on the roof and ranted about how dangerous it was and also reported the license plate to the police after encouragement from other members of the site.
Another person posted a picture of a car running a red light and ranted about how reckless they were. Once again, reported to the police.
Another person posted pictures of two teenagers jaywalking across the street. More bandwagon and how they should have the police come visit.
I hate it. There are places that are actually dangerous and need the police. Our neighborhood is not one of them.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 20, 2015 12:55:43 GMT -5
We are both savers and live well within our means while maintaining a comfortable lifestyle. I don't like fighting over money. My husband mentioned a cleaning service the other day. I shrugged and said our place is clean enough but if it's worth it to you to have somebody do a so-so job 2 hours every other week, then fine. It's not going to improve my quality life so I personally don't think it's worth it. I find our so-so job sufficient and it doesn't cost any money. I reminded him that we would have to pick up the clutter before they came anyway. I hate clutter but he likes having a lot of stuff out and accessible. But, I'm not going to fight over it.
Was the food budget a huge argument in your house? I could see a lot of men wanting meat for dinner every night and unless you were so poor that you had to sacrifice a lot of needs, what's the big deal with meat?
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 19, 2015 19:49:35 GMT -5
In and out for me, 5 minutes is pretty typical. Sometimes I have suds, I just dry them off and keep going.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 19, 2015 14:11:59 GMT -5
Yeah, my retail friends at places like Pottery Barn have also told me that's what designers do. And, honestly, I don't see anything wrong with it.
But, she gives me the retail prices and then says less 40% or less 10% or whatever she can get it for. I decide if I want to buy it and it usually involves me searching for the item online and finding every price available. The price she gives me with the discount is always the lowest by at least 10%, so it's worth it to me for her to order it for me.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 19, 2015 12:56:56 GMT -5
One thing to understand about designers is that they often, in addition to what the client pays them, get a "commission" (or kickback, if you prefer) from the places they buy furniture, etc. from. As I said, my ex-MIL ran a shop. Back then standard was 10%. That is not insignificant if the designer is doing an entire room. The person I hired, passes on her discount to me. Anytime she suggests something, she gives the price with her discount. Maybe it's because she knows I'm cheap and won't buy anything if it's not a good deal, but I definitely appreciate it.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 19, 2015 12:43:53 GMT -5
I hired a stager to help me decorate my rooms. She charges $65/hour and has helped me select window treatments, furniture, paint colors, decor and bedding as well as move around what I already have. I'm happy with the results and the money spent. Alternatively, I could have paid an interior designer $125/hour a $1500-3500 design fee per room. That was too steep for me, but the portfolio was impressive and I'd probably have a much more dramatic result. I want a home I love, but I also want to retire one day, sooner rather than later!
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 16, 2015 17:10:01 GMT -5
It does kind of make you wonder when one person argues confidently that pasta has no eggs, if that means lots of people think pasta is "safe," when clearly some pastas do have eggs. Egg noodles immediately come to mind.
There are no allergies in my family and never have been. We eat what we want and don't do a lot of label reading and haven't been in a situation yet where we have been asked to. And, I'm not hiding under a rock or anything. I guess if any of my friends and family are part of the 3%, they handle it without causing a fuss over it.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 12, 2015 12:59:00 GMT -5
Almost every group dining outing I've been on this past year involved asking the waiter or waitress to take a group photo. In fact, just last week, we interrupted the waiter 3 times to try on 3 different phones. I was so embarrassed. We were there very leisurely but other tables may not have appreciated the delay in the waiter getting to their table. Photographer should definitely be adding to their description. But, it is free advertisement as almost all of these photos involve uploading to facebook and/or instagram a tagging the location.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 12, 2015 12:29:08 GMT -5
Yes, several times. Have you? No. DW looked into VRBO for a week in Paris. Wouldn't work because places were too small to accomodate five of us. But, VRBO looks like an interesting way to travel. And it seems like the participants take a very professional approach to their rentals. Since you have used them and recommend them, it would appear that you're happy with your experiences with VRBO. We're going to have to give it a try! It's hit or miss. The one I used last year was a big disappointment. The place smelled like piss and the owners nickel and dimed everything.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 11, 2015 22:47:12 GMT -5
My parents bought a beach facing time share off the coast of North Carolina the first week of August back in the 80's. We went every year for 18 years. Then, they retired to Florida and didn't see the point in driving up to NC when there are so many great beaches in FL. The fees are $700/year, but that week goes for $1300 when rented and it sells fast. For 3 or 4 years they rented it and collected their profit. Then, the timeshare converted to points and their week is worth a lot of points, so they go to even nicer resorts in FL instead. I have great memories of our beach vacations at our timeshare condo and made good friends since we all returned the same week every year. I guess their timeshare worked out for them given that they've been using it for 30 years.
I scramble every year to figure out vacation plans and sometimes it's a miss. I would find it very easy if I had a spot I loved that I could go to every year for a reasonable price.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 11, 2015 18:12:23 GMT -5
I usually rent someobody's timeshare for the price of the admin fee. It's always cheaper than a hotel. Since you're retired and don't have to worry about the school schedule, you could easily find good deals without owning. If you know anyone in the armed forces, have them add you to the armed forces vacation club. Tons of options for super cheap: www.afvclub.com/
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 11, 2015 18:03:11 GMT -5
It depends on the week you own and the location. My inlaws have one at a ski resort during the 2nd week of December. They thought we would be able to use it, but our kids will always be in school that week. It's really easy to find a condo for that week for around $600 for the week, which is the annual maintenance fee. What's worse, is a weekend is long enough for that resort, making it a huge rip-off. Anytime they trade, they get a cold weather, off-season option on a beach somewhere, which again, easy to find for $600. So, find the crummiest weeks in otherwise okay resort locations, price them and decide if the price without a timeshare is about the same as your admin fee.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 7, 2015 0:00:10 GMT -5
What's weird is before I posted the previous post, I edited out a sentence about not actually knowing anyone transgendered.
Tonight, I met up with a few acquaintances for a mutual friend's birthday. I asked one what her husband was up to tonight and she said they were separated and she thought I knew. They were married October 2013. I apologized and told her I didn't mean to stick my foot in my mouth. I had no idea and actually never met him. She told me I had, in fact met "her" at a Halloween party 4 months ago and she pulled up a picture to show me. I remember talking to her and her friend but had no idea it was her husband. She insisted I should have known that was her husband, but I guess I'm just really dense. I felt like I was getting punked, because I really had no idea.
Anyway, I'm not sure I have a point other than the fact that I find it really ironic that I deleted my first sentence in my previous post which stated I did not know anyone transgendered in real life.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 6, 2015 16:57:37 GMT -5
No, I'm not familiar with that story. ?
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 6, 2015 16:39:29 GMT -5
I've had lots of food and beverage experience, including working at a campus Burger King, a bar/restaurant in a college town, several restaurants and stands at an amusement park, a bagel shop and a movie theater concession. I never did anything disgusting nor saw anybody else doing anything disgusting. Of course, I never monitored hand-washing, but I truly believe for the most part, people aren't out there trying to be gross.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 6, 2015 12:42:12 GMT -5
I was surprised by this only because Jenner seemed to embrace a more masculine image during his 65 years as a man. I know it's more complicated than that, but I wouldn't have been surprised if it were Michael Jackson (RIP) or Little Richard or _____ for somebody who always embraced a more feminine image. I had never heard any sort of rumors about Bruce. I guess we'll see how this plays out on t.v.
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 5, 2015 14:22:11 GMT -5
Women ABSOLUTELY denigrate SAHDs. Not just men. And when it comes to the communities built for SAHPs: SAHDs are often not welcome, or treated as predators for being at the park with their kids. Women denigrate men for wearing pink, and not acting in typical "manly" fashion. Just look at the threads we've had on these boards where women talk about how they want their men to be men. That's the ugly thing about sexism and feminism..it's not men keeping women down. Men AND women treat men and women unequally. I've had friends react rather unpleasantly when I say something like my kid needs his father just as much as he needs me. I know Gira has had issues with how family reacts to her husband being the SAHP: and it's probably not just the boys acting that way. In my own family, my brother was starting his business, but not talking about it, so people assumed he was the SAHS...of the people who made comments, it wasn't the men scolding him. I'm keeping an eye on how my husband's family treats my son and any other children we might have, because while my mom is a feminist and will get my dad in line when it comes to the toys he plays with and any gender stereotypes: my husband's parents consist of a MRA (the yucky kind) and his mother who gave me this book: www.amazon.com/Have-New-Husband-Friday-Communication-ebook/dp/B009NF6ASY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1423162394&sr=8-1&keywords=have+a+new+husband+in+7+daysThat book isn't kind to men OR women, in my opinion. It's not just the men who maintain the rigid gender roles. I haven't encountered that in my community. Men are strongly encouraged to take a more active role in child-rearing. They're given paid paternity leave. They're not sneered at for doing so.
I remember being on another board when the issue came up of a boy wanting an EZBake oven. The women were all for it, while the men were having hissy fits. "Why do you want to turn my boy into a girl? Notions like that should be smacked out of them! It will turn them into fa**ots!" Boys should play with pistols and trucks!
It was pretty sad.
It's not like that in my community either. Men are given the same paternity leave as women at my work = 12 weeks at 100% pay covered under a parental leave benefit also available to employees who adopt. But, I guess that benefit is biased against people who don't have children or became employees after having children. Pink is accepted as the universally flattering color for all shades of skin. So, everyone wears it and it does look great on everyone. Sure, you can find people who pick on everything, but that's human nature. If I talked about my choices, I might have 10 people who tell me who awesome I am and 2 or 3 who criticize me- just like this board. People tend to focus on the negative comments and forget they had a majority positive reaction.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 5, 2015 13:24:23 GMT -5
To me, feminism has always been about choices. How lucky are we to live in a society where both men and women have so many choices and aren't repressed as an inferior group. Sadly, over the years it's been misconstrued into something else entirely and now there is a backlash inclusive of entire anti-feminism communities. These communities believe that the feminist movement is taking away their choices to support their man, stay at home, allow the man to be the leader of the household, etc. Unfortunately, this is now what it means to a whole new generation of women who have no clue: womenagainstfeminism.tumblr.com/"I don't identify as a feminist because I don't want these women to be MY VOICE." "I don't need feminism because a GOOD man raised me, a GREAT man loves me, millions DIED for me, and THEY don't deserve your SHIT!" "I don't need feminism because I want to promise my man to love him, honor him and obey him!"
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 5, 2015 13:02:21 GMT -5
Elderhostel is very expensive, I looked at it. I went with a tour group a couple of times, have to look it up if I can remember the name. The price was reasonable, kept the size to 16 people and the guide we had was excellent there was a lot of walking. It was part older, part younger people. I really enjoyed it.
Hubby has enough frequent flier miles for us to fly to Africa I think, we have talked about meeting in S Africa but now DD is so unstable I can't see it happening and I have nowhere to leave her. We had enough for other trips when he was in Asia and she did the same thing so we lost them. I'm afraid my out of the country traveling days will never happen. This really depresses me so I try not to think about it. Sometimes you can have the means and still not able. That was always the thing I wanted to do more then anything in the world was travel to far off places. It kills me all the places my husband has seen, I get really depressed sometimes.
Oh well, that wasn't the question, get started on your weight loss and soon as you feel comfortable and fit enough to go take a cruise. They have all kinds of onshore excursions and most say whether they are strenuous or not. Traveling is so wonderful. I am hoping to get to do at least a couple of cruises yet. But it will probably be husband keeping daughter and me going alone, he and I never get to do anything together.
Go enjoy your life while you can it will get away from you and believe the rest of the family will sure enjoy the money, don't worry about that! Good luck and start today!! Crone should plan her trip for this time next year with you. Your husband will be retired and can watch after your daughter. You'll finally get to do some traveling and spend time with a like-minded online friend. Do it!
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 4, 2015 14:21:23 GMT -5
I never was a "spa" girl, but for some reason it is becoming very appealing. In my mind, at least. I wouldn't want to go with anyone. I want no-talk time!!!!! You won't know it until you try it and maybe you'll love it! I'm ticklish, slightly self-conscious (aren't we all) and really don't like to be touched by strangers. I'm baffled when people rave about the same experience I just had and was uncomfortable and praying it would be over soon.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 4, 2015 12:28:20 GMT -5
I'm convinced you're either a spa girl or you're not. I am definitely not. I've done couple massages and it hurt. I've gone out with the girls for a triple mini spa- face, feet and hands. Both were awful. I'd much rather go to happy hour with friends to relax. That said, I just spend $100 at CVS on new make-up, bubble bath, facial scrub, lotion, wine, hair treatment and some other stuff. I went on a $250 shopping spree at BB&B with a gift certificate from my Dad. I spent another $75 on 100% Turkish cotton white bathrobe and plush white bath towels. I have a new vanity stool coming today. My master bathroom renovation is now complete with a huge shower inclusive of hand held, body sprayer and rain shower. The tub is a deep soaker with jets and a multi-color illumitherapy light. There are two faucets- a waterfall and hand held. I am officially ready for an in home spa day. I even have a spot to put my ipad on Pandora or Spotify and just checked out a new book from the library. My bathroom looks like something out of a magazine. It's perfect. There will be lots of spa days in my future!
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 4, 2015 9:50:17 GMT -5
If it were me, I wouldn't wait 3 years or until 70. I would get my body in shape for that goal and then go when I felt up for the challenge. Health is a funny thing and you never know when it might turn on you. As you age, you start having more fears, like would I want to be in a foreign country if my health was not reliable.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 3, 2015 10:25:28 GMT -5
I used to wonder about girls who looked so perfect at the gym as well. Then I watched a couple of episodes of Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. These girls ran 5 miles on a track in the Dallas heat and most did it under 30 minutes. Their hair and make-up still looked amazing. There are just some girls who got it going on like that. I thought they were just a bunch of pretty girls who got lucky with their genes, but they work hard and are real athletes. Kudos to anyone who can pull that off.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 2, 2015 16:44:22 GMT -5
The onion nails it every time:
Man Brings Lunch From Home To Cut Down On Small Joys "Speaking with reporters while opening Ziploc baggies of pretzel twists and baby carrots, local man Stan Keppler said Monday that he has started bringing in lunch from home to cut down on his small joys. “Making your own lunch each day is a great way to reduce your simple pleasures throughout the week—it’s already made a huge difference for me,” the 38-year-old insurance underwriter said as he unwrapped a plain turkey sandwich from aluminum foil that he had woken up 15 minutes early this morning to prepare. “I used to go out for lunch with coworkers and actually enjoy myself every day, but now I just sit at my desk and eat something I packed from home. It’s quick, easy, and has cut my weekly sense of gratification by at least half.” Keppler went on to say that he is considering canceling his cable service as well, which would save him 90 hours of genuine relaxation time a month."
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 2, 2015 16:41:28 GMT -5
I don't know. I feel pretty good about my middle class life and don't feel held back at all. But, I don't have hoarding tendencies nor shopping addiction.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 2, 2015 12:49:00 GMT -5
I see what milee and gooddecisions are saying - it's an all or nothing equation. It just seems like it shouldn't be as black and white as that. For managers who aren't so black and white: how do you deal with this stuff? How do you feel out who just has crap luck sometimes and who is taking advantage? Like I said, I've loosened up. My staff is given a fair amount of flexibility. One was taking it too far by wanting to leave at 11:00 AM every Friday to play poker. She didn't schedule the afternoon off, she just wanted to claim "she worked her 40" and let me know she was leaving. This was not a kid either, a mature woman. I had to put a stop to that as I expect people to work normal office hours 5 days/week and use their vacation time if they want Friday afternoons off. Hell, I would work 4 tens if that were an option, but instead I work 5 tens like almost everyone else. Apparently her previous manager didn't have a problem with it. We talked about it and she now understands. No further issues. If there are issues that affect performance, I note it and we discuss it during weekly one to one status meetings. If there isn't improvement, their performance reviews reflect the poor performance and it should never come as a surprise as any performance issues were discussed throughout the year. You do not want to be in the poor performance category at my company. Some other issues I've had to address in the past were poor quality documents, missing deadlines and tone with business partners. There was only one instance I had to do a formal write-up and that was due to multiple complaints from business partners, no improvements and continued missed deadlines. He is still with the company, but not reporting to me anymore. So, I guess I've also gotten lucky with my staff.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 2, 2015 12:08:04 GMT -5
I love my gym membership and won't let it go, but no way would I pay $200/month for a family membership. There are ones around here that charge that much but the Y is $80/month for a family and is also very nice. As far as the kids go, I like it for the pool. They are too little for almost everything else.
Check out your county's parks and rec guide. Mine offers a lot of fun exercise classes, hikes and exploration activities. If I didn't have a full-time job, I'd sign up for everything.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 2, 2015 11:31:39 GMT -5
When did he make it in, 11:00? I read that Super Bowl Monday was one of the biggest days for call in and late starts. Last year, an estimated 1.5 million Americans chose not to go into work the Monday after the Super Bowl, with an additional 4.4 million arriving late. You had a double wammy with 14" snow and bad weather. It sounds like you have a really good team if they all came in on time except one who still made it, but late. If you want to look at the bright side.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 2, 2015 11:19:26 GMT -5
It's easy to go crazy. I make 15k per month but net 3,500 Details needed. Agreed. I'm wondering if his allowances are also at 0 and he's getting big refunds. I max my 401K, dependent care FSA and HSA. I have insurance deductions and prepaid legal services and still manage to bring home $3200/month. I don't make half that salary. Are you making huge contributions to United Way, PAC, ASC, union fees, additional time off? Do you have garnishments? What gives?
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 2, 2015 10:31:33 GMT -5
Time things are very hard for me to let go. I've always been on time and ticked off when others aren't. I've tried to loosen up about that over the years given that there just seems to be two different types of people on that.
Since you've let him get away with arriving inconsistently, he probably doesn't think it's a big deal. If you want it to change, you better come out and say, "the next time you're not here on time or early, I will write you up."
If there are no consequences it won't change. Decide whether making up the time makes it okay. Lectures about time management do not help people who don't value being on time. Consequences do. It's not your problem he has a long commute. He chose a job with a long commute.
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