gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 17, 2016 16:10:48 GMT -5
I don't mind contributing for a good cause, but I definitely feel like ranting about our "holiday party." Last year, we gathered at a restaurant 2 miles from the office at 4:00 and set it up to end by 7:00 on a Thursday. This allowed people who couldn't stay out past a certain time to come and people who couldn't leave work early to come. The budget paid for appetizers and if people wanted dinner or drinks, they could buy it themselves. The bar was reserved for us, so it was casual. There are 15 people in my department and 14 made it. This year, the man who controls the budget decided he would have it at his house on a Friday at 6:30. He lives nowhere near most people and not that close to the site. There is $600 in the budget, but he said he would only use a portion of it to pay for wine and wanted us to bring the food. So, we're all disgruntled about having to go home, cook something and come all the way back out to where he lives. Nobody stays at work past 5:00 on a Friday. It would be so much easier on everyone if he catered the food and had us bring the wine- or better yet, pick up a box of wine from Trader Joe's and some platters from Costco. I'm certain I could come well under the budget and nobody has to go to any trouble. I can't imagine his wife is happy about this either. I hate potlucks so much that I'm thinking my new years resolutions needs to be coming up with an easy go-to potluck dish. Do you have to go? If not, I would skip it. It's definitely not mandatory, but I would feel guilty. Our department (and I use that term loosely as none of us actually work in the same department, but rather the same area of a very large building for a mega company), is so small that if a few of us skip it, it would be noticeable. As he was telling us, he looked right at me and said spouses are fine, but no kids, get a babysitter. Obviously kids don't go to these sort of things. I don't even talk about my kids at work to be singled out like that. I'm not going to get a babysitter. I will leave my spouse at home to watch the kids because I'm already paying a fortune for childcare and don't need to empty my wallet for sitters for after hours work events that are not even a good time. He did make a point to walk up to me to say it was more than okay to bring my infant, which of course I wouldn't do either, but I guess that was considerate. He's a nice guy and I'm sure the budget is an issue of perception. If he blows the budget on a party at his house, then maybe that wouldn't look so great. At the same time, it's use it or lose it and the funds have to be used by year end. This "holiday party" is Dec. 9. I'm just so irritated by it all- the timing, the location and having to make something to bring. Somebody asked why not buy some platters and he said "because I want to try everyone else's cooking." Okay, except most of us will probably end up at the prepared foods section at the store because we work all day and don't have time for that!
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 17, 2016 15:30:35 GMT -5
I don't mind contributing for a good cause, but I definitely feel like ranting about our "holiday party." Last year, we gathered at a restaurant 2 miles from the office at 4:00 and set it up to end by 7:00 on a Thursday. This allowed people who couldn't stay out past a certain time to come and people who couldn't leave work early to come. The budget paid for appetizers and if people wanted dinner or drinks, they could buy it themselves. The bar was reserved for us, so it was casual. There are 15 people in my department and 14 made it.
This year, the man who controls the budget decided he would have it at his house on a Friday at 6:30. He lives nowhere near most people and not that close to the site. There is $600 in the budget, but he said he would only use a portion of it to pay for wine and wanted us to bring the food. So, we're all disgruntled about having to go home, cook something and come all the way back out to where he lives. Nobody stays at work past 5:00 on a Friday. It would be so much easier on everyone if he catered the food and had us bring the wine- or better yet, pick up a box of wine from Trader Joe's and some platters from Costco. I'm certain I could come well under the budget and nobody has to go to any trouble. I can't imagine his wife is happy about this either.
I hate potlucks so much that I'm thinking my new years resolutions needs to be coming up with an easy go-to potluck dish.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 17, 2016 10:32:51 GMT -5
I see the point. Just speaking for myself, I'd be a lot more accepting of religion if religion were doing a better job teaching its followers to be accepting and tolerant. For example, I don't like that religious people can blatantly discriminate against LGBT by claiming that "traditional marriage" needs to be upheld by the law. I've never had a problem with religion and was once a weekly church-goer; but unfortunately the more inequality and intolerance I see, the more anti-religious I'm becoming.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 15, 2016 8:10:07 GMT -5
We are both savers and waited until we were in our 30's to have a family when we were solidly established in our professions. If we started a family in our 20's, our financial picture would be completely different. Even though I have a decent income, the daycare bill is significantly higher than my $3500/month take-home. If the money were the only consideration, it would be a very easy decision to stay home and exit the workforce like many women (and sometimes men) in my demographic. My only point is that in my middle (upper to some), educated, professional, and geographic demographic, I can see why people are only having 0, 1 or 2 at the most or simply aren't in the work-force anymore. Like I said, it's a complex issue and there is no good solution that will please everyone.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 14, 2016 21:01:57 GMT -5
Ouch, gooddecisions! Your childcare is expensive. I know, I see very few people with 3 kids in full-time daycare in my own real life (of course there are plenty of people out there, but I'm talking about my own real life and people I actually know and see). There are over 500 kids at this daycare and the majority of families have 1 or 2 kids. There at 10 other day cares within 5 miles and they are all similarly priced and sized. Not one of my co-workers has more than 2 kids either and I work with hundreds of people, but I am one of the youngest so their kids are grown. There is only one other family on my street with more than 2 kids and they have 3. The wife gave up her teaching position after she had her third and stays at home. I am middle class and so are my neighbors, co-workers and fellow parents at the daycare. I don't love to work and would love to stay at home, but refuse to put myself in a vulnerable position should I have to support myself. Regardless, either decision is an expensive one.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 14, 2016 12:08:06 GMT -5
I think people are a little out of touch with what the cost of daycare can be, depending on where you live and if you don't have subsidies. I'm paying about $46,500/year for 3 in full-time daycare (just a regular licensed center, nothing super special). So, I take advantage of the DC FSA and that brings my $46,000 daycare bill down to about $45,000/year. And this is not a temporary expense, over the course of 10 years per kid (15 years of my working years), I will pay approximately $100,000 per kid for daycare, because there is still after school and summers to consider and that tuition has risen considerably-- an underestimate because in reality it will be until they are at least 12 to abide by the state laws.
The cost of daycare is spiraling out of control and competing with the all ready out of control cost of college tuition. It's a complex issue, just like most and I don't really know what the solution is. But, I don't think it's as simple as saying, don't have children if you can't afford them or find jobs with opposite shifts so you don't have to pay daycare.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 13, 2016 6:55:18 GMT -5
I think you're safe to get the HDHP and HSA. I've had them since way before ACA- I'm thinking at least since 2003. I haven't had more than 1-2% raises in at least 8 years either. I work for a private company, but attribute that to staying put for way too long. People don't usually get big raises for staying in their same positions, whether private or public. But, I heard my dad say the same thing for years and years working for the government. Trust me, the grass is not greener in private- you have to move and hustle more to get those big raises.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on May 24, 2016 22:14:39 GMT -5
Next bath question: We have a small window in the master bath. Currently it has cheap Venetian blinds. What sort of window treatment do you recommend? We are getting new cellular shades in the living room and bedroom, but I'm not sure about them in a bath. I don't want curtains but some kind of blinds or shades. What to you think works in the humidity of a bath? The previous owners put up a cellular shade in the bathroom and I hated it. This is a large 6'x5' window. I replaced it with an opaque window film w/ a geometric pattern 2 years ago. It's much cleaner, let's the light in and keeps it private. It was super easy to apply and if I get sick of it, I can remove it. There are so many options with window film now and if you don't need a large size, home depot or lowes may even have a good option.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on May 23, 2016 17:24:44 GMT -5
I brought the concept up on the playground to a couple of moms. Mom#1 would love a place with big tables for scrapbooking, esp if you have the cricut cutter thing. She'd bring her own cartridges for it. She would as lso love a place to do messy things with her kids and have someone clean up afterwards. Mom#2 would happily book kid bday parties there, providing that the cost included a planned craft and all supplies neccesary. And she could bring cake in. I think she'd expect you to help the kids as needed. All three of us are in for Christmas cookie decorating there. Mom #3 (me) would consider paying $135/week per kid for summer drop-off day camp craft opportunities. But it didn't sound like that's her niche market.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on May 23, 2016 16:06:43 GMT -5
I applaud you for wanting to go after something you are passionate about, but I just don't get this idea. In my city, you can rent rooms for really cheap or free at the libraries, parks and community centers. There are probably other places as well that I just don't know about because I haven't had the need.
Kids can craft at the Children's museums as long as they want for just the price of admission- $9 or $100 for yearly family admission. They supply the crafts and you can glitter, paint and glue until your heart is content.
I'm probably not your targeted customer though. I am one of those who enjoy an experience though- and have done the painting, pottery, stained glass and blown glass and jewelry making events. I'll go to Home Depot and do the kids crafts (free). I'll pay Michaels $4.95 for unlimited classes. I'll take my kids to parties at Young Chef's Academy.
If it were more than just a space and clean-up, then maybe I'd check it out. Otherwise, how are you drawing your customers. Good luck!
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on May 20, 2016 15:52:05 GMT -5
MM you are a very kind and caring person ........... Wish I could open 529s for our g-g-kids but the parents say no .......... They want control of the funds My son was the recipient of a 529 from his grandma that I didn't even know existed until right before his high school graduation! She DID have access to his social security number, though, as we knew she was making some investments for him - we just didn't know what. So can't you do it without their permission?
Or you could do what we have done for our own grandson....we've opened a mutual fund that is in our name, but is mentally marked as our grandson's. (We need to change it so he's the beneficiary if something happens to us). It's not in a 529 - as not all kids are college bound and if he turns out to be one of those kids - but still a hard working kid - we want some flexibility in how and when we gift it to him. The grandma above also gifted our son savings bonds that ended up being the down payment for his house and we like that idea, too. And basically, instead of gifting him lots of crap for his birthday and Christmas....we buy a little crap and the rest is gifted into this investment. His parents know what we are doing, but don't have access to the account or it's balance.
My parents have done that for my kids and I think it's great. They send something little in the mail but have commented once or twice, that their real gift is what they've added to their college fund. They are little still 4, 2 and newborn. My husband is very frustrated by it however, he wants complete transparency and doesn't want it to jeopardize any funding down the line. I feel we should be appreciative and gracious about any money they want to contribute and if they don't feel comfortable with transparency, then so be it. Also, I don't want to financially plan on relying on it. If they need to raid the funds for health reasons, then that's what they need to do.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on May 19, 2016 20:12:37 GMT -5
Depends on the reader. It's slow at Target, but at the drugstore and grocery store it's just as fast as swiping.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on May 18, 2016 15:54:18 GMT -5
I would have it at home and cater the food. Get balloons, print lots of photos you can decorate with (see pinterest), play his favorite decade music and have activities that everyone can enjoy. You could even do a family fued or jeopardy type quiz show with questions about your dad (and aunt).
It's very nice of you to do this for your dad. I hope it's a success!
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on May 18, 2016 15:43:35 GMT -5
"I am just pissed off at my department and the department chair. The department chair should be providing leadership for these type of "celebrations." Each grade level should be taking care of their own as far as babies and weddings go."
I totally disagree with you, celabrations like this should be optional and if a department head took over, it would seem mandatory. If you are friends with somebody who had a baby or got married, buy them a gift or take them out to celebrate. But, it's crazy to expect the company and department head to throw a party where gifts are expected. It's work and not everyone wants to participate in these types of activities that cost money and time.
Disclaimer, I was the recipient of 3 surprise baby showers at work this year and I thought it was very nice and generous of my co-workers, but no superiors were involved in the planning.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on May 17, 2016 10:41:36 GMT -5
I enjoyed the show. I would have watched a second season. Oh well.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on May 13, 2016 6:31:35 GMT -5
As a life-long athlete, no I never expected another player or player's parent to pay for my injury. It's sports, injuries happen. Cushion your sports budget to account for it or sign him up for golf...or chess.
There was a super competitive girl on my rugby team who had a bad attitude. She really wanted my position and was my lifter. I'm 99% sure she intentionally dropped me in a line-out. The fall tore a ligament in my knee and I was out the rest of the season. It never crossed my mind to bill her for my doctor and PT costs.
I can't even imagine having the conversation. So awkward if you go to the parent and say, so that tooth cost me $500- it was your son's fault, are you going to pay it? That conversation probably won't go well. If she pays (unlikely), she'll be disgruntled every time she sees you and if she doesn't, you'll be disgruntled every time you see her.
Sorry you're going through this. There is always one a-hole on the team.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on May 2, 2016 19:29:57 GMT -5
I work for a bank. It's not government, but it's highly regulated by the government. There are a minimum of 12 courses required every year by every employer and contractor, more if you are a manager or in a department with extra regulations. To name a few- workplace violence, anti-money laundering, code of ethics, privacy, service member civil relief act, risk, etc.
The grass is not greener.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on May 2, 2016 12:29:55 GMT -5
I looked at "grown up" furniture and their couches are mostly white. I can not imagine having a white couch, with or without kid. That's why they sell the slip covers, which are also very pricey. I love looking at their catalog and my good friend works at the store 10 minutes from me and has offered me discounts, but I refuse to go. Even with a discount and sale, it's still more than I would spend. Instead, I try to find similar items from stores like Home Goods and World Market to get the same look for less. Sometimes it's possible to find the same $400 lamp from Pottery Barn at Home Goods for $40. What did you buy?
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Apr 17, 2016 13:14:50 GMT -5
And, yes- I do think we're getting a raw deal. We have to hear endless comments about how it was "back in my day" and how we're doing it all wrong. If I'm grumpy about it, I just got a big earful from my in laws yesterday. Times have changed, laws have changed and parents have to adapt. We all do the best we can.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Apr 17, 2016 13:05:38 GMT -5
It amuses me that the older generations can say in one breath, to enjoy every minute because it goes by so fast- and then next that we hover and cater to our kids too much. Okay.
I'm also pretty sure every generation has complained about the next generations since the beginning of time. It's one of those "you know when you're getting old" things.
My dad lives in another state and never really understood what I meant by my babies and toddlers cry the entire time on long car rides. He raised us and we always slept in the car. Then, I took the flight that was $200x3 less but an almost 2 hour drive from him (his idea) and sure enough- she screamed the entire 2 hours. He gets it now. We were little, we could crawl around and lay down and get comfortable in the car. Kids can't now, so sleep isn't a given. He told me the other day, that he's pretty sure he wouldn't be able to follow the law. Ok, dad- good thing you're not raising children today, you would have been caught eventually and arrested- just like the parents who let their kids walk alone, sit in the car alone and go home alone.
And, yeah, grade school children can't walk to school unless they are escorted by an adult.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Apr 14, 2016 17:23:33 GMT -5
Wow, that's crazy. I've never had any problems paying for services in cash or with check. The times I've paid with cash, I have had us both sign a written receipt stating the service and the amount paid in full. Come to think of it, I've written a receipt before with check payment as well. One time, I paid a random person to deliver and spread mulch. After I wrote the check he said something about a tip in a joking but not really joking sort of way. I just stared, blinked and handed him the tipless check. Oops.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Apr 14, 2016 11:35:54 GMT -5
Also, I'm sure everyone in the family recognizes that if the mom had died before her son, the house would have automatically gone to her son since there is no will. Then, when son died, his wife would have automatically gotten the house. This is what is unfair. It should have, would have and could have been the DIL's house (or the widow of the cousin) if a proper will had been written or if her MIL had died before her husband.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Apr 14, 2016 11:28:01 GMT -5
Because it was DIL's home too and she took care of her dying MIL for years. Perhaps she believed her MIL wanted her to have the house. But, now greedy blood relatives need her to move out of her home so they can sell the house and keep the money for themselves. Because...the law.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Apr 14, 2016 10:23:53 GMT -5
At a minimum, it would be nice if near sited glasses were sold without a prescription same as reading glasses. People should be able to try on -1 through -10 and buy them if they want.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Apr 14, 2016 10:08:57 GMT -5
So a woman owns a home that her son and daughter in law live in (and maybe she does, too- that's not clear). Her son dies. His mom and DIL grieve his loss. Then mom dies and the house goes to her brothers because they are the closest living relatives. DIL has no stake in the home. It does not sound like there is a case here. DIL was not a homeowner or on the deed and not a blood relative.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Apr 11, 2016 13:08:04 GMT -5
Around here, people routinely walk around with drinks on Halloween which I find really strange. I don't know....I actually REALLY love to drink, but I limit drinking cause I like to keep bad habits in check and I want to set a good example for my kids. That is me and my neighbors... we bring a cooler in a wagon. Then when we get back in from the night and the kids go to bed we light the fire in the backyard and keep it going. Good for you. I think it's great when parents can still have a good time. I always think fondly of the couple down the street who were sitting on their front steps, enjoying a Halloween evening with wine while handing out candy. Their kids are teenagers and were out. I thought it was nice that they didn't need a party to enjoy some adult beverages and each other's company. I abstain only because my mornings start way too early and the thought of dealing with kids and a hangover scares the crap out of me.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Apr 11, 2016 10:04:09 GMT -5
No, you do not have to report that as income. You have a roommate sharing living expenses.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Apr 7, 2016 15:15:06 GMT -5
I can push myself through as long as it's right after work (which most stuff is), but for things like the church group, that is where it gets brutal. You drop off at 7:00 and have to pickup at 8:30, which is just brutal. I'm not really sure how parents deal with the travel stuff. Even rec league soccer is 1 practice/1 game and baseball is usually a 2 day or 3 day a week obligation (all during the week). The only thing that I can think is that they eventually get to that age where they are a little less physically demanding and more mentally demanding. I saw the Tae Kwon Do van pick up right at the elementary school bus loop as the elementary school was getting out, which is 2:15 where I live. I thought, how amazingly convenient if they are able to get to their activities directly from school and all you have to do is go get them at 5ish. And, because I was curious, it looks like they are pretty flexible with pick-up and can be anytime before 6. When my kids are in grade school, I may be exploring these types of activities that take advantage of the time after school/before work is out- and still leave the weekends un-scheduled.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Apr 7, 2016 10:10:18 GMT -5
I'm on maternity leave right now so obviously everyone thinks I have loads of time to do stuff. Even my dad asked me what I do all day. My co-worker asked me if I could go to dinner next week. I had to decline. The 5-8 pm hour is especially challenging with a 2-week old who nurses, an almost 2 year old and 4 year old. My husband would definitely step up for me to go out, but I don't think I can do that to him. And, if I wait until they're all in bed, it's too late to go out. I'd take the newborn with me, but nobody is especially interested in me toting kids along.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Apr 7, 2016 6:11:02 GMT -5
You might want to check your law on that. In my state, it is against the law to relocate wildlife, so make sure you don't get caught. I'm pretty sure trapped animals are supposed to be euthanized (assuming they are not protected) or released back into their original environment. Hellooo...I wasn't planning on telling the city of my plans. Who's to know. Beats killing the damn thing. The department of game and wildlife disagree. But, regardless, some people like to detail their plans on social media or take video and post to youtube or blog about it. All I'm saying is check your laws and don't get caught.
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