How does your organization handle milestones?

[Deleted]

We are a school with 200+ teachers and 40+ in the English Dept. alone. They abolished the Empathy committee that used to handle a lot of this stuff (acknowledging babies, marriages, etc.). The school only acknowledges retirements, leaving the department to acknowledge births, marriages, and retirement receptions.

In the English Dept., it has become the same old people . . . about 6-to-8 of us.  We have done two baby showers, two wedding showers (combined), and now a retirement reception.  I helped give a baby shower a couple of weeks ago.  I was going to opt out of this retirement reception other than contributing to the department's present, but only three people signed up to provide food/paper goods/etc.  I took the easy way out this time and offered to get mixed nuts from Costco.   

So I'm in a Grinchy mood.  When did doing the evite count toward contributing?  That costs the participant $0.  The baby shower cost me about $45 and this reception will cost me about $25.  But I did feel guilty about the three people trying to give a school-wide reception (read the numbers again) by themselves.  That's not fair either.

So how do your organization handles this stuff?  The school gives the retiree a present at the end of the year, but that's not the same thing as a reception where they can say good-bye to everyone.  However, I don't personally want a reception.  I want to slip out the back, Jack. 

Extra points if you recognize the allusion. 

[Ryan]

Nobody does anything for b-days or anniversaries, unless it's a milestone anniversary and I think you get something from the company.  Not sure how the company handles retirement, but pretty sure the "official" gift is from the company (based on years of service) and there is probably an informal gathering at a bar put on by the team.   For showers, they are organized by whoever is closest to the person and everyone is asked to pitch in a certain amount towards the gift/food.  You can choose to just do the gift if you don't want to go to the shower, which is usually just done in larger meeting room during work hours.

My wife is a teacher and they don't do anything for anniversaries, but they do have an annual retirement party put on by the district.  Showers and end of the year parties are typically done by a co-worker in that grade level and someone hosts and everyone brings something.  For birthdays, each month a grade level provides breakfast and they celebrate all b-days at once during the month.  They do have a committee that does all of the flowers for baby born or a funeral or something.  

[milee]

Now that I have my own company, I spring for most of the parties. Not a big deal, it's a small group and we like each other.

When I was with large corporations, it was similar to what Ryan's describing. Corporations generally didn't sponsor any of that stuff unless it was a unique, milestone retirement - like someone retiring after 30 years or something similar. Otherwise, it was the friends of the person - in the case of showers, marriages, funerals or sometimes a manager of a department in the case of a person retiring.

If you don't want to plan the parties or contribute - don't.  Sounds like it's very, very optional.  Just Hit the Road, Jack...

[kittensaver]

Milestone anniversaries (years of service - 5, 10, 15, 20 or more in increments of 5) are acknowledged by our President once a year at the annual holiday party (there's a company check involved ).

Everything else is handled at the "local" (office or service site) level. The folks at that site who want to acknowledge someone for something (birthday, baby, wedding, retirement) step up and plan a get-together. [The down side of this type of planning is: quiet/less popular/unpopular employees are frequently ignored when a big life event comes around because no one steps up for them]

Lots (if not most) of these events take place after work/during happy hour at some local watering hole or other. This seems to be the easiest way to go: everyone pays their own way for whatever they eat/drink, and they bring a gift if they want (or contribute to a group gift if someone organizes one).

ETA: you can always Make A New Plan, Stan

[Cookies Galore]

Organizational: We get milestone anniversary gifts of an extra $100+ on our service anniversary ($100 per five years work, so I'll get $200 when I hit my 10 year anniversary in a couple of years, and so on) and we get to pick a gift from a catalog (I chose Riedel stemless wine glasses). There are free cake receptions, er, retirement parties, when people hit big milestones (like retiring after 30+ years) and there's usually an unofficial retirement happy hour after work. ;-) The organization also throws a summer and holiday party every year. The food rocks.
Oh yeah! Forgot about the quarterly snack days!
Department: We have a holiday party every year. There are two people people who are retiring after 40 years and the VP brought in cake to celebrate at our last quarterly department meeting.
Team: We do get celebration funds, which my team typically uses to go out for a nice lunch right before the holidays. We do have birthday buddies, which just means your buddy brings in cake or whatever sweet you want, and we all chip in for lunch delivery.

We like to eat where I work, and I'm okay with that.

[saveinla]

We used to get plaques for every 5 years that you were with the company, but they have recently revamped it - I just got an email saying that I have been with the company for 15 years and they gave me the link to a website to buy something - they seem to have ipad, Kindle, camera, video camera, watches etc. I can choose one item from around 200 items. I would have been happy with the plaque, but now I have to think about what I want and decide  .

Our group does not do bdays or anniversaries - baby shower is very rare, we did one a few years ago. We go for lunches once every 2 to 3 months or so and the company does an annual Christmas party. 

[msventoux]

If you get your CPA license we may have an office lunch.  If you leave on good terms after having been here a while we may have an office lunch.  If someone wants cake and wants to make it (or buy it), and it's in the same month as someone else's birthday, we may have an office lunch.   If we have in-house CPE we will have an office lunch. 

We're a small office and don't really celebrate much.  There's people who have been here 15-20 years and we don't do anything for anniversaries.  I would prefer a bonus to a party, but I'm selfish like that. 

[Deleted]

I called them "milestones," but they aren't birthdays or anniversaries.  They are giving birth (first child only), getting married (first time only), and retiring.

Not contributing sounds fine, but, as I said, I was going to opt out of this one.  Then it turned out that three people turned out to give a reception where potentially 200 people could show up.  It won't be that many, but even 50 is too many for three people to handle.  The three people are also my friends.

I am just pissed off at my department and the department chair.  The department chair should be providing leadership for these type of "celebrations."  Each grade level should be taking care of their own as far as  babies and weddings go. 

But this is why the Empathy Fund died.  No one wants to give even $13 toward celebrating life's events.  It died when someone who did a lot for the school didn't get a baby present because she didn't contribute.  I thought that was fair.  The Empathy Fund was stunned that it depended on contributing even though previous Empathy Fund members passed that rule.  The whole school voted it to be that way.  But the then-Empathy Fund decided they would rather disband.  The ironic part was that people like me, who had already paid their Empathy Fund contribution, were asked NOT to ask for a refund even though it was disbanded in October.  They needed us to cover the presents already given.  Lol.

Like I said, I am feeling Grinchy about this.

[wvugurl26]

We get awards for things like passing the CPA, etc. They will do a plaque with credentials laminated on it for retirement. Other than that it's all on the people in the office. Officially we are allowed to give gifts for baby, wedding and retirement.

We take up money to get cake and gift for those. Other people will bring in other things to go with cake.

At Christmas time we all go out to lunch. We pay for our own meal but we get the afternoon off. On several occasions my boss has bought pizza for the office or just his group.

We were going out once a month and all chipping in for the birthday people. That kind of fell off lately.

[Anne_in_VA]

Well, you can always Make A New Plan Stan.  

But seriously, I work for a very large healthcare and insurance company and we don't do anything for birthdays, etc.  Some departments will organize a celebration for babies or a marriage, but it will only be for the people in that department and not everyone in the organization.  

My old company gave a gift for certain anniversaries (10 yr, etc.), but I don't think my new company does.  

[Deleted]

May 17, 2016 18:23:00 GMT -5 Anne_in_VA said:

Well, you can always Make A New Plan Stan.  
 

Ding! Ding! We have a winner.

[Phoenix84]

I work for the DoD in a small office environment.

Pretty much all of my co workers are in their 50's and married with grown kids. And most are men.

We don't do birthdays. Nobody's gotten married or had kids, but I don't think we'd do anything beyond making a department wide announcement. I doubt there'd be a gift, but probably a card and no party.

For retirements we do give a small gift and take the person out to lunch at a restaraunt. But it's all pretty low key.

We have given out cards and no gift for college graduations and employees losing a parent.

[Deleted]

May 17, 2016 17:00:08 GMT -5 milee said:

If you don't want to plan the parties or contribute - don't.  Sounds like it's very, very optional.  Just Hit the Road, Jack...

It is optional, but some of us don't think that things like giving birth, getting married, and retiring should be ignored. When other people don't step up, some one has to.

I am not going to tell anyone except my principal that I am retiring when I do (three or four years). 

[tcu2003]

For new babies (first ones) or weddings, my team usually throws a small shower, as in the team (from our party funds), covers cake and punch, and people on the team pitch in towards a group gift card. For new babies (regardless of first or subsequent babies) an email also goes around for anyone that wants to provide a meal for the new parents after the baby arrives - we usually get about a week's worth of meals covered.

For retirements, our company will actually cover the retirement party (it *might* come out of team funds, but those are provided by the company each year) - nothing crazy, but usually cake, light snacks, soda and some sort of booze (generally beer and maybe margaritas).

In your shoes, I'd be annoyed that the same few people contribute every time.

[milee]

May 17, 2016 18:39:51 GMT -5 @bamafan1954 said:

May 17, 2016 17:00:08 GMT -5 milee said:

If you don't want to plan the parties or contribute - don't.  Sounds like it's very, very optional.  Just Hit the Road, Jack...

It is optional, but some of us don't think that things like giving birth, getting married, and retiring should be ignored. When other people don't step up, some one has to.

People are voting with their feet and their wallets. Apparently, they don't think celebrating all this stuff is worth their time/money. Don't know if that's right or wrong, but the market has spoken.

If you want to do something to "step up", then that's a good and nice thing. But don't do it if it's going to make you feel put upon.

Isn't this a version of the same issue you have with seeing the grandkids and how you interact with the extended family on holidays? 

[Deleted]

May 17, 2016 18:47:04 GMT -5 milee said:

May 17, 2016 18:39:51 GMT -5 @bamafan1954 said:

It is optional, but some of us don't think that things like giving birth, getting married, and retiring should be ignored. When other people don't step up, some one has to.

People are voting with their feet and their wallets. Apparently, they don't think celebrating all this stuff is worth their time/money. Don't know if that's right or wrong, but the market has spoken.

If you want to do something to "step up", then that's a good and nice thing. But don't do it if it's going to make you feel put upon.

Isn't this a version of the same issue you have with seeing the grandkids and how you interact with the extended family on holidays? 

No idea where that came from.  I am annoyed with my family that Christmas plans are not very important.  For example, lunch needs to be around 10:30 - 11:00.

How is that the equivalent of the department members not stepping up to help organize a shower/party/reception for their grade-level colleague?  Or me stepping up to help my friends who did step up before me?

I think you are trying to make me seem bad somehow, and I don't understand.  I get upset when Christmas and other holidays are unimportant to my family, but I'm doing 100%.  I've never, ever asked for anything else than they show up.   I honestly don't see the parallel to being upset that someone doesn't pick up some of the slack for this at work.

Your analogy skills are really off, Milee.  You are usually smarter than this.  Is this a projection of your own life onto me/

[toomuchreality]

When I worked for a large corporation, they brought me the catalog, to make my selection, for my milestone gift.
In the description it said "contains a genuine imitation ruby."   What the heck?!  Is that in comparison to the 'fake imitation ruby?", or what?


I love those genuine imitation stones! You just can't beat the quality!



@bamafan1954

Good luck and have fun at your celebration!

[milee]

May 17, 2016 19:51:56 GMT -5 @bamafan1954 said:

May 17, 2016 18:47:04 GMT -5 milee said:

People are voting with their feet and their wallets. Apparently, they don't think celebrating all this stuff is worth their time/money. Don't know if that's right or wrong, but the market has spoken.

If you want to do something to "step up", then that's a good and nice thing. But don't do it if it's going to make you feel put upon.

Isn't this a version of the same issue you have with seeing the grandkids and how you interact with the extended family on holidays? 

No idea where that came from.  I am annoyed with my family that Christmas plans are not very important.  For example, lunch needs to be around 10:30 - 11:00.

How is that the equivalent of the department members not stepping up to help organize a shower/party/reception for their grade-level colleague?  Or me stepping up to help my friends who did step up before me?

I think you are trying to make me seem bad somehow, and I don't understand.  I get upset when Christmas and other holidays are unimportant to my family, but I'm doing 100%.  I've never, ever asked for anything else than they show up.   I honestly don't see the parallel to being upset that someone doesn't pick up some of the slack for this at work.

Your analogy skills are really off, Milee.  You are usually smarter than this.  Is this a projection of your own life onto me/

I could be way off.  I'm just seeing some similarities.  In both your family and at work, you get very upset that people don't find the same things important that you do.  The things you post you're upset about sound like things that many people wouldn't consider a big deal, so your reaction seems IMHO outsized. 

I don't think you're "bad"; sorry if it appears that way.  It just seemed there are some parallels and sometimes it's helpful if we can see where we're having the same issue in different settings because maybe that's an issue we're not aware of.

[Deleted]

May 17, 2016 20:04:28 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

When I worked for a large corporation, they brought me the catalog, to make my selection, for my milestone gift.
In the description it said "contains a genuine imitation ruby."   What the heck?!  Is that in comparison to the 'fake imitation ruby?", or what?


I love those genuine imitation stones! You just can't beat the quality!



@bamafan1954

Good luck and have fun at your celebration!

I am so confused.  I am not having a celebration.  I am bring nuts to a retirement celebration that I had decided only to contribute to the gift card to.  I felt a conscience pang for friends who were having to do it a by themselvesl.

I honesty think reading comprehension has plummeted.  Maybe it was my poor communication skills.

[Deleted]

May 17, 2016 20:26:02 GMT -5 milee said:

May 17, 2016 19:51:56 GMT -5 @bamafan1954 said:

No idea where that came from.  I am annoyed with my family that Christmas plans are not very important.  For example, lunch needs to be around 10:30 - 11:00.

How is that the equivalent of the department members not stepping up to help organize a shower/party/reception for their grade-level colleague?  Or me stepping up to help my friends who did step up before me?

I think you are trying to make me seem bad somehow, and I don't understand.  I get upset when Christmas and other holidays are unimportant to my family, but I'm doing 100%.  I've never, ever asked for anything else than they show up.   I honestly don't see the parallel to being upset that someone doesn't pick up some of the slack for this at work.

Your analogy skills are really off, Milee.  You are usually smarter than this.  Is this a projection of your own life onto me/

I could be way off.  I'm just seeing some similarities.  In both your family and at work, you get very upset that people don't find the same things important that you do.  The things you post you're upset about sound like things that many people wouldn't consider a big deal, so your reaction seems IMHO outsized. 

I don't think you're "bad"; sorry if it appears that way.  It just seemed there are some parallels and sometimes it's helpful if we can see where we're having the same issue in different settings because maybe that's an issue we're not aware of.

Nope.  You are totally way off.  I don't care if these people have a retirement party, baby shower, etc.  I am not that kind of person.

I do feel bad when a few people have to do it all.  I might feel less bad but my best friend has to bring all the paper goods, all the the plastic stuff, a centerpiece, tablecloths, and something salty.  
When she said that, I said I would email and say I would bring nuts.  Then we complained about lack of leadership on stuff like this.  Same people every time.

Nothing to do with my family.  That is an issue of how important I am in contrast to other family members, etc.  

Night . .  And spring or other season.  Nothing to do with each other.  

[tskeeter]

May 17, 2016 20:33:46 GMT -5 @bamafan1954 said:

May 17, 2016 20:26:02 GMT -5 milee said:

I could be way off.  I'm just seeing some similarities.  In both your family and at work, you get very upset that people don't find the same things important that you do.  The things you post you're upset about sound like things that many people wouldn't consider a big deal, so your reaction seems IMHO outsized. 

I don't think you're "bad"; sorry if it appears that way.  It just seemed there are some parallels and sometimes it's helpful if we can see where we're having the same issue in different settings because maybe that's an issue we're not aware of.

Nope.  You are totally way off.  I don't care if these people have a retirement party, baby shower, etc.  I am not that kind of person.

I do feel bad when a few people have to do it all.  I might feel less bad but my best friend has to bring all the paper goods, all the the plastic stuff, a centerpiece, tablecloths, and something salty.  
When she said that, I said I would email and say I would bring nuts.  Then we complained about lack of leadership on stuff like this.  Same people every time.

Nothing to do with my family.  That is an issue of how important I am in contrast to other family members, etc.  

Night . .  And spring or other season.  Nothing to do with each other.  

If people aren't willing to help, it tells me that they don't really care whether these activities happen or not.  Seems that only three or four out of the 200 care.  So why bother?  If a person who is special to you is achieving a milestone, do a small gathering or lunch for the person's close friends.  As to the rest of them, the heck with them.

[toomuchreality]

May 17, 2016 20:26:32 GMT -5 @bamafan1954 said:

May 17, 2016 20:04:28 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

When I worked for a large corporation, they brought me the catalog, to make my selection, for my milestone gift.
In the description it said "contains a genuine imitation ruby."   What the heck?!  Is that in comparison to the 'fake imitation ruby?", or what?


I love those genuine imitation stones! You just can't beat the quality!



@bamafan1954

Good luck and have fun at your celebration!

I am so confused.  I am not having a celebration.  I am bring nuts to a retirement celebration that I had decided only to contribute to the gift card to.  I felt a conscience pang for friends who were having to do it a by themselvesl.

I honesty think reading comprehension has plummeted.  Maybe it was my poor communication skills.

I understand you are not having a celebration. I also understand the celebration, is not for you. You will however, be going to a celebration. I simply said have fun, when you do.

It was not my intent to disturb  you. Sorry if I did.

[Happy prose]

Nothing is sponsered by the job itself, but employees just put out an email- Sally's baby shower-$10 for cake and gift.

[Deleted]

May 17, 2016 22:33:01 GMT -5 tskeeter said:

May 17, 2016 20:33:46 GMT -5 @bamafan1954 said:

Nope.  You are totally way off.  I don't care if these people have a retirement party, baby shower, etc.  I am not that kind of person.

I do feel bad when a few people have to do it all.  I might feel less bad but my best friend has to bring all the paper goods, all the the plastic stuff, a centerpiece, tablecloths, and something salty.  
When she said that, I said I would email and say I would bring nuts.  Then we complained about lack of leadership on stuff like this.  Same people every time.

Nothing to do with my family.  That is an issue of how important I am in contrast to other family members, etc.  

Night . .  And spring or other season.  Nothing to do with each other.  

If people aren't willing to help, it tells me that they don't really care whether these activities happen or not.  Seems that only three or four out of the 200 care.  So why bother?  If a person who is special to you is achieving a milestone, do a small gathering or lunch for the person's close friends.  As to the rest of them, the heck with them.

You are right.  No one really cares including me. 

[ners]

My company has been sponsoring a monthly gathering for birthday with cake and punch paid by the company.  Most people do not show up.   Since we are a college they have not determined what they are doing for the summer birthdays.  The May birthdays were celebrated at the picnic lunch last Friday.  

Showers are handled by departments.  Since I am a department of one I am not included in these celebrations.  

The company distributes service awards for every 5 years of service at the meeting just before the school year begins.  Human resources picks the gift until you reach 25 and then they allow you to pick your gift.

[Shooby]

Hop off the bus Gus.  Don't need to discuss much.

[Shooby]

  If others aren't really getting involved, at some point, you just have to realize that others may not value these celebrations as much as you do.   I really don't want to contribute money because office receptionist Suzy has an Aunt Edna , whom i have never met, and is having a bunionectomy and they want a contribution.  It gets absurd.  
  Where i work, they just buy a cake every month and put everyone's name on it who has a birthday. That's pretty simple.

[yogiii]

Nothing is done at the organizational level. If you have a group of friends at work, they might throw you a small baby shower or get you a group gift for retirement or something like that but it's not work sponsored and not expected.

[Deleted]

Do any of you remember the Post of the Day on the old boards that got stuck for almost six months?  The writer was complaining that someone was always taking up money in the office for celebrations that she didn't care about?

This is a variation of that.  

[Deleted]

If they weren't showing up to mooch of the celebration they might be voting with their feet and money. But fact seems like they are still giving their time... And taking advantage of free food. They just don't want to help pay for it. That's usually called something else on here...