gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 3, 2014 12:58:38 GMT -5
My number is $5M to maintain the same lifestyle. Knowing us (my wife and I) we will want our kids to start enjoying their inheritance before we are dead if we can afford it: -> help with college -> help with buying first house -> help with 529 -> pay for vacations/meals if they tag along etc. I do wish our kids will appreciate all we will do for them (sacrifices and all) and not turn out little spoil brats! I'm curious about your number. I know you save for retirement, but you guys enjoy a pretty high end lifestyle and live in a HCOL. You also have the SL to pay off. And I don't get the idea your DW will ever make a ton of money - maybe 75K/yr? And your career tops at maybe 125K? So how do you plan to save 5M as W2 earners when you enjoy such an expensive lifestyle AND you want to give your kids so much (I assume you won't be frugal with them as children since you plan to be so generous with them as adults). Are you going to inherit money? Saving 5M is such a hard thing to do, so I'm curious. Feel free to ignore my prying. 11% returns of course.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 3, 2014 11:49:09 GMT -5
Doing it myself. I haven't seen this video before and don't have a lot of experience parenting, but my 2.5 year old is becoming quite the challenge lately. She got frustrated and threw a bunch of markers on the floor yesterday. Her dad who was sitting with us, told her to pick them up and she angrily said "no- you put them away". I thought to myself, this is not going to be good. Then she started whining and wanting to sit on my lap (which is about the time I normally get accused of coddling). I told her she needed to pick them up before she went to bed, which was an hour. Neither one of us said another word about the markers, nor did we pick them up ourselves. Right before it was time to go upstairs, she very nicely picked up the markers. I was quite pleased. I offered no reward. Last week, she cleaned up her whole room, the toy room and helped me pick up my room since she was procrastinating going to bed. Again, I offered no reward. I figured if she's going to fight bedtime, might as well make it productive. So, maybe it's not crazy for me to use bedtime to my advantage.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 3, 2014 11:03:51 GMT -5
These things have granite countertops. Our bathrooms don't even have those! I've seen those executive style "restroom trailers" and they are nice, I just bet they cost a pretty penny. If it's a septic issue, that's one thing, but I can't see spending the premium just to keep a small group of close friends and family out of your house. What's the big deal? It'd be cheaper to hire a cleaning service.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 3, 2014 10:30:55 GMT -5
They also make gusseted yoga pants.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 3, 2014 10:26:45 GMT -5
I just see women in them everywhere, but every time I put them on - I see it. Do I have more pronounced female parts? Are my girly bits sagging more than other women my age? It's quite possible. How thick are the yoga pants and what are you wearing under them? If it's nothing, that could be your problem.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 3, 2014 10:14:40 GMT -5
True. I have a nice house in a nice neighborhood and now my tenant knows this. If he is living paycheck to paycheck and is struggling, now he may think he is entitled to more of a grace period. So far he's paid the late fees, but I don't have July's payment and he said he'd give half now and the other half on the 15th with the late fee.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 3, 2014 10:05:22 GMT -5
Just a slight fear of having to go through an eviction and dealing with disgruntled people. My current tenant has been late every month and showed up to my house on the 21st with a check. I guess that was fine, but got me thinking.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 3, 2014 9:59:56 GMT -5
Would it be prudent for me to set up a p.o. box so that tenants don't have my home address?
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 3, 2014 9:51:23 GMT -5
Are you the wedding planner as your thread title indicates?
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 3, 2014 9:35:41 GMT -5
I always swipe my credit card and my MVP card before the total even comes up. All I have to do is click yes with the total comes up. Stores in my area don't even require a signature anymore. I don't know how anything can be faster than that.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 3, 2014 8:08:54 GMT -5
It doesn't sound like a dress up wedding? I'm curious too. The backyard weddings I've been to have been very casual...as in many guests wear t shirts and shorts or sundresses and sandals.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 3, 2014 7:12:08 GMT -5
I think it sounds great. Weddings are way too produced these days. She probably wants to keep it low key. Yikes to the port o potty thought. I went to a backyard wedding last August for 75 people. There were no port o pottys set up and it was fine. I didn't even notice. People can go a couple of hours without using the bathroom and if they need to use it, they can go inside. Heck I had parties for hundreds almost every weekend and only had one bathroom. As for that particular backyard wedding, it did end up raining and there was no tent. So we all watched the ceremony under umbrellas and then sat at the tables under our umbrellas. I really felt bad for them that it rained. But the groom was really sweet and said he finally got that kiss in the rain and to dance with his bride in the rain. They had a d.j.
I think you should hold your judgement if want to keep the peace. It's her wedding and if that's her vision, let her have it the way she wants it. Nothing pisses me off more than family trying to talk me out of what I want or decide for me what I want.
Probably the only thing I would say about it is to get someone professional for the pig roast. I know places in my city will do it. Good luck!
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 2, 2014 21:50:45 GMT -5
When roller coaster stopped being fun. When your parents tell you you're old. Speaking of Tampa, I was visiting my parents in Florida and asked them about Ybor City since I read about it on the plane. They told me I was too old.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 2, 2014 21:40:06 GMT -5
The fact that I lock the doors at night is an improvement considering I never used to lock the doors at all. In college I left them unlocked and so did all my roommates regardless of whether anyone was home. Once we came back from a game and our apartment had been cleaned and there was a fresh pizza waiting on the coffee table with a note. Some guys from out of town had stopped by looking for us but we were gone all day. We even left it unlocked while we were all away for spring break. Not once was the door locked in 2 years.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 2, 2014 12:13:48 GMT -5
You just hit a huge sore spot for me. My inlaws do this and it drives me crazy. The front door will be open, like it almost always is, and they will go through the back fence and come in through the back door or worse try to come in through the garage. It pisses me off so much and I have very directly said to them several times to please use the front door. You need to be doing something that would embarrass the in-laws if they walked in on you unannounced.
For example: if I were female, I would have a personal vibrator close at hand and while pretending I did not hear them enter, I would make it appear as if I was about to begin 'relaxing' myself. The in-laws might in the future announce they are coming over.
Unfortunately I would be the only one embarrassed in that scenario or anything you could come up with. 2 days after being released from the hospital with my first newborn, I was sitting on the couch trying to figure out breastfeeding and didn't have supplies like a proper nursing bra. So, was topless and mortified when they walked in unexpectedly. They were pissed when my husband asked them to leave. They lectured us in our own homes about how we need to get over it, that I'm hormonal and how their other son requires 3 days notice for them to visit and they never see them...blah, blah, blah. It's been 2 and half years and I'm still sore about it.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 2, 2014 11:56:45 GMT -5
Because TV isn't for realz - "Everybody Loves Raymond" was notorious for it. It wouldn't have been a sit-com if the parents/in-laws (Frank & Marie) weren't barging in any time they pleased. I never noticed it until it was pointed out, but Frank & Marie would often walk in the back door. Why would someone ever walk around to the backside of the house to enter when they lived across the street? Sitcoms are weird sometimes. You just hit a huge sore spot for me. My inlaws do this and it drives me crazy. The front door will be open, like it almost always is, and they will go through the back fence and come in through the back door or worse try to come in through the garage. It pisses me off so much and I have very directly said to them several times to please use the front door.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 2, 2014 11:49:11 GMT -5
hmmm, I've only met a handful of people in my life who kept the doors locked when they were home during the day and I considered them weird. Maybe it depends on where you live.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 2, 2014 11:37:43 GMT -5
There was a really upsetting story in my city several years ago. It was New Years Day around 10:30am and a family of 4 was getting ready for their annual luncheon party. The father left the door ajar to get his morning paper. Moments later the whole family was bound and gagged in the basement. They were tortured with a clawhammer and kitchen knives. Plastic bags were put over their heads and they were set on fire. They were from out of town, had just robbed and killed 2 other families and were looking to rob another house. Since they saw the door was open, they seized the opportunity. They got a computer, wedding ring and basket of cookies. Guests of their luncheon arrived to find the home filling up with smoke and the family dead in the basement.
You really aren't safe regardless, but it's pointless to live your life in fear. Even knowing this story, I'm sitting at home with my front door open.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 2, 2014 10:11:19 GMT -5
Right, but the argument is that if you did an analysis of let's say $50k in a low yield savings account vs an investment in an S&P 500 over a long period of time, say 20 years with period raids even at the lowest point, you'd still come ahead.
I don't think there's any argument that you'd come out ahead investing in the S&P over the long term. My point is that an "Emergency Fund", by definition is not limited to the long term. Emergencies don't conveniently occur when the market is up. I'd hate to see someone put their entire EF into the S&P because they read here that was the smart thing to do, and then lose their job (or develop a serious, disabling illness, or anything else) just as the market is repeating 2008. I understand. My request to phil5185 was to do analysis based on needing a good chunk (20%) at the worst possible time (when the market dropped by 40%). If you have $50k in the market and it drops to 30k and you need 10k at that point, you still have enough money to meet your obligations. So the question is 6 years later would you be back to $40k (if you had left the money in a low interest savings account)? It doesn't really matter in this scenario because the OP does not have a stash of cash in a deposit account nor in a brokerage account nor in an IRA. Any of these options would be smarter than her current options of HELOC, 401K loan or credit card, which would still be available options if the market were down and it was a bad time to sell.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 2, 2014 5:43:00 GMT -5
What profit? We purchased 3 primary homes between 2002 and 2005, all appreciated by 2007 and today none would sell for what we paid for them. So we rent them. We have become hermit crabs. Note: equity in the form of down payment or mortgage pay down is not profit.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 1, 2014 14:13:34 GMT -5
In my city, private school teachers get paid far less than public school teachers which kills any argument that state employees make lower salaries than private employees with the same or similar job. 5 years in, but friend is only making 23K/year as a teacher at a private school. She has a masters from Chapel Hill and will start another masters program in the fall. Teachers in the public system make at least 40k starting out in my city, which is MCOL. My friend also teaches 12 months and gets only 3 weeks vacation because that's how the school is set up since it's not tied to the 180 classroom days rule. I was a corporate trainer (again similar job, but 12 months and 8 hour/5-day week class time, plus preping lectures, plus grading, plus meetings after class, plus no overtime and only 3 weeks vacation, plus travel= 60+ hour work weeks). I made 23K/year and it was my first job out of college. After 5 years, I made 45K. I don't want to teach school, so no need to tell me to go be a teacher if it's so good, but I was tempted when I was working those hours for that salary. Regardless, I moved on from corporate training and have a better salary these days.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 1, 2014 12:29:02 GMT -5
Why do people vote tea party? They are bunch of hillbilly, uneducated, anarchist haters. And this is how Haidt used to feel about it, because his political conditioning led him to believe there were no good ideas on the other side of the fence. It simply had to be the case that The Other Lot were hateful, ignorant, reactionary, and reflexively opposed to progress - because otherwise, as a reasoned and a reasonable man, he would be obliged to acknowledge The Other Lot might at least some of the time have a valid point. Worse, Our Lot might at least some of the time be wrong...
Fortunately, he was an emic anthropologist, and not an etic one.
I was really just making a point that there really isn't an "good choice". I don't have a party and feel that an easy argument can be made on all our options, unfortunately. I guess that's politics for you.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 1, 2014 12:03:34 GMT -5
Everyone hated Cantor and rightfully so, but voting in a tea party member is way, way worse. Talk about "party of no".
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 1, 2014 11:57:44 GMT -5
Why do people vote tea party? They are bunch of hillbilly, uneducated, anarchist haters.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 1, 2014 11:45:46 GMT -5
Anyone Hotwire a car lately? The real question is whether it takes <5 mins to do so I'm sure there are hundreds of youtube tutorials demonstrating how to do it in seconds...like with opening the garage.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 1, 2014 11:33:17 GMT -5
Anyone Hotwire a car lately? My ex bf was parked on a side street outside an art gallery when his car was stolen. He had a few drinks and got a ride to my house. We went to go get it the next morning on our way to the park, but it was gone. This was an old beater worth nothing. A week prior, the window motor stopped working and he hadn't gotten it fixed, so it was slightly cracked with plastic and duct tape covering the opening to prevent rain from getting in. This is how they unlocked the car. Called the police and gave the plate numbers while we went out searching for it. The police found it a few days later in a really shady area of the city a few miles from the gallery. From that day forward he had to start the car with the screwdriver they left in the ignition since it was jacked up. The police deduced it was a gang related challenge to earn street cred. They were teenagers. Cars get broken into almost every week at the softball complex I play at. They just break the window and steal stuff if it's locked. If not they go in without breaking the window. My very nice upper class neighborhood association (in the county, 20 min from the city and the gangs) just put out an email reminding people that break-ins are more frequent in the summer when kids are out of school. Matter of fact, it just happened to two friends of mine in a nearby neighborhood and happened to me twice in our old neighborhood...during the summer.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 1, 2014 10:59:30 GMT -5
We've had a 1K "emergency fund" for about a decade, but have never really used it. When something comes up (broken appliance or whatever) we've been able to cash flow it. Weird but true. HELOC was from a 23K siding job and owe 10K - it should be paid off in 2015. Owe 8K on car.... Thoughts? When nothing weird comes up, where does the money go? Is that cashflow disposable income that gets spent on wants? I actually did back down my 401(k) when it had always been maxed when I was still single and relied on my own income. This board, Suze Orman and news headlines for massive layoffs at my company plagued my mind, so I backed it down to the 5% match for 2 years to save up a year of expenses. Never had to use it and even though those 2 years were actually really good years for the market, I guess I don't regret it. It became a nice slush fund for dollar cost averaging.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 1, 2014 10:30:47 GMT -5
It's a nice piece but I think it would have been a lot more balanced if she had talked to someone who made the same decision and had horrible consequences. Like the woman who left her 4 young boys in the car for 2 minutes in front of an apartment to drop off a bird. During that time, one picked up the cigarette lighter, lit a piece of paper and they couldn't stop the fire nor get out of the car. She came back to the car to find them all burning. None died, but the baby and one other ended up horribly disfigured. I heard this horrifying story on Oprah 10 years ago and it stuck with me. A couple of years ago, somebody in my city did the same thing. The 2 year old was sleeping in her carseat in the minivan and it was after dark on a mild evening. She didn't want to disturb her sleeping toddler, so she left the car running while she ran into a friend's house for 5 minutes. Her car was gone along with the 2 year old when she came out. The police found the car and the toddler, but it was a grueling 16 hours for the parents. The carjackers didn't even know the 2 year old was in there, they just wanted to steal the car. Common denominator: just a few minutes. I suspect that wants you do it once and "get away with it". I'd bet my life you do it a hundred more times until there are consequences. Just like drunk drivers. The difference is though that those are complete anomolies. Those 2 things literally couldn't happen to me if I left my kids because there is no cigarette lighter & I never leave the car running. I lock the car & an alarm will go off if any of the doors are opened. So we can look at the other side, but you have to realize the other side is not likely at all. IMO, this is like saying we need to look at the other side of letting a 4 year old use scissors. Just because yours has done it 100 times without incident doesn't mean we shouldn't find the mother of the kid that poked his eye out to look at what can happen and the consequences of this decision. Yes, of course, because I listed specific examples you've honed onto "that couldn't happen in my car" just like the drunk driver got away with it for years before something did happen. Those people claim they can drive safe while drunk because nothing has ever happened. The reason this is a law is because the possibilities are endless of what could happen and children have died. The 2 women never thought it could happen either. Like I said, it would have been nice to include an interview from someone who experienced the worse day of her life and would go back and change that decision no matter how inconvenient.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 1, 2014 10:23:33 GMT -5
Follow phil5185 advice. We've been following it since I found the old MSN money boards over 10 years ago and are diversified and have about $2MM between all our investments (the bulk is in the brokerage accounts and retirement accounts but we also have 3 rentals and a primary). We're 35 with 2 kids and a big house...with a mortgage and 2 steady W2 jobs. I sleep well at night knowing we could retire early, lose either or both jobs, become disabled and be just fine, but we have easy jobs, so no need. A 401(k) gives you no options without huge tax penalties. Having diversified assets doesn't mean we have to use it if the markets aren't cooperating. Like you, we could still take out a loan, though we've never needed to do either. Lot's more options this way. Thanks Phil!
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 1, 2014 10:03:24 GMT -5
It's a nice piece but I think it would have been a lot more balanced if she had talked to someone who made the same decision and had horrible consequences. Like the woman who left her 4 young boys in the car for 2 minutes in front of an apartment to drop off a bird. During that time, one picked up the cigarette lighter, lit a piece of paper and they couldn't stop the fire nor get out of the car. She came back to the car to find them all burning. None died, but the baby and one other ended up horribly disfigured. I heard this horrifying story on Oprah 10 years ago and it stuck with me.
A couple of years ago, somebody in my city did the same thing. The 2 year old was sleeping in her carseat in the minivan and it was after dark on a mild evening. She didn't want to disturb her sleeping toddler, so she left the car running while she ran into a friend's house for 5 minutes. Her car was gone along with the 2 year old when she came out. The police found the car and the toddler, but it was a grueling 16 hours for the parents. The carjackers didn't even know the 2 year old was in there, they just wanted to steal the car.
Common denominator: just a few minutes. I suspect that wants you do it once and "get away with it". I'd bet my life you do it a hundred more times until there are consequences. Just like drunk drivers.
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