gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 10, 2014 10:02:57 GMT -5
Enh, my friends and I had plenty of non-lesbian sex in high school and college and only one of us ever managed to get knocked up.
We just weren't stupid. Everyone used birth control religiously. We came from the type of background where college and career were expected before family, and everyone knew how awful an idea it was to be an unwed teenage mom. The guys we slept with had as much to lose as we did - noone tried to pressure you not to use birth control.
I think the socio-economic framework at play in your high school/college years has just as much to do with you getting knocked up or not as anything else. Maybe more people got "knocked-up" then you're aware of. Some people do actually know how to keep a secret.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 10, 2014 10:00:11 GMT -5
It sounds like you just need to say no to these people when they ask to use your phone.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 8, 2014 9:54:11 GMT -5
After sixth grade, I figured I'd eat my younger sister's candy, much to her ire. In my house, actually, the older kids have to watch out for the youngest. The littlest has NO problems taking treats/sweets from her older siblings. And the little stinker KNOWS they don't belong to her. Within the last month or so, the littlest got into our pantry, decided to help herself to a lollypop that was for her older brother, then she proceeded to go to his bunk bed (the top, where he sleeps) and enjoy his lollypop. This sounds familiar. You should check this story out at the library: www.amazon.com/Big-Red-Lollipop-Rukhsana-Khan/dp/0670062871
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 8, 2014 7:16:57 GMT -5
I remember trick or treating in 7th grade (13) and feeling too old. I really wanted candy though. That was the last time I went. I think you can get away with it if you have younger siblings.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 7, 2014 12:58:35 GMT -5
My 98 Nissan Maxima is showing no signs of stopping and hasn't cost me much over the years. I only even change the oil once a year.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 7, 2014 8:22:31 GMT -5
Redoing the master bathroom, quotes are coming in at 25K. We did 3 other bathrooms and built a really nice shed for less than that. I guess this will be another DIY with the help from a qualified friend or brother because 10k is my price.
I drove through a new construction neighborhood and was shocked to see how few homes added decks and patios during construction. They had second floor doors with boards that were meant to go to an elevated deck, but there was nothing to open the door out to. The neighborhood has a spectacular furnished model home so people were likely over-sold and are now house poor. Buying new is expensive and buying used is too unless you find the unicorn homeowners.
By the way, we got 3 quotes for a fence last year and got one at 5K- to the specification the HOA requires, which is 6' wooden across the back, curved top and pickets along the sides and we have a big back yard. I remember getting a quote several years ago to put up a gate and connect the back fence 20' in my tiny townhouse yard and it was $1000. Ridiculous. Another DIY for $100. I built the patio at that house too for $800 or so in materials. Digging is hard work.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 7, 2014 8:04:43 GMT -5
If those are their responses, then obviously they are not sure. My pet peeve is actually when people answer questions or state things with confidence and are 100% wrong. I'd much rather them answer a question with uncertainty than feign confidence.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 6, 2014 15:39:38 GMT -5
Lots of good advice on here already. I also want to add that family behavior may change after your parents' passing in a way that may surprise and disappoint you. I personally would do everything I can to be able to distribute assets quickly and not be beholden to account to anyone for any long period of time. Yeah, like with Casey Kasem. I can't think of a worse thing to happen at my end of life and beyond.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 6, 2014 15:34:42 GMT -5
I've pulled the pharmacist aside before when I didn't have a chance to look something up on the internet (no smart phone for me). I've been pregnant or breastfeeding since January 2011, so it's usually related to what I can safely take to reduce cold symptoms having those issues. They've been very helpful.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 6, 2014 14:05:51 GMT -5
What's this about ordering groceries on Amazon? How do I get in on that and are groceries priced comparatively? Count me among the "over-worked Americans with bills to pay, competing priorities and kids to feed". My prime membership is pretty much going unused. Only available in certain markets. Try Safeway, they also have a delivery service. Prices are reasonable. Obviously it's a little more difficult to comparison shop and you don't get to pick the produce piece you want, but I've found it to definitely be acceptable and worth it. I even ordered ice cream and it came in a box with dry ice! That was impressive. Oh, we don't have safeways. I searched the websites of the grocery stores in my area and it does not appear any do pick up or delivery orders. Peapod is not in my area. I used to do CSA drop-offs, but that wasn't the same as "groceries" as it was only a small box of locally grown foods. There is one company that delivers groceries, but they are all organic and really expensive. Plus, it's not home delivery, but a pick-up night at a location during a 3 hour window of time. Their mission is saving time and eating healthy- not saving money and I want to save time and money. I don't mind paying a reasonable delivery or pick-up fee, but I don't want to pay a premium for the groceries too.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 6, 2014 12:47:34 GMT -5
What's this about ordering groceries on Amazon? How do I get in on that and are groceries priced comparatively? Count me among the "over-worked Americans with bills to pay, competing priorities and kids to feed". My prime membership is pretty much going unused.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 6, 2014 11:33:28 GMT -5
The gym and community pools I use un-rope about half the pool for open swim, leaving 3 lanes for swimming laps. I have never used a lane unless I'm swimming laps. There is no "rule" about it, it just seems like the appropriate thing to do. So, if I'm there with a child, we just stay out of the lanes and swim/play in the open area. With only 3 lanes, that's either a very tiny pool or maybe there is also some pool space left without lanes?
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 5, 2014 21:36:32 GMT -5
I also let me previous perfect renters terminate the lease early when they bought a house. I didn't make them find a renter either and ended up with ones who don't pay. So, what I know.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 5, 2014 21:34:33 GMT -5
At least he pays. My renter has been behind since month 2. I got a partial payment in August, nothing in September and nothing yet for October. I guess I'll have to evict and figure out how to get my money.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 5, 2014 18:48:45 GMT -5
Some people at that income level do actually have personal chefs. My neighbor has one, even converted a garage to a prep-kitchen so the house doesn't smell like curry. They also have a cleaning service and lawn service- which I suppose could fall into "home maintenance". A personal chef would be freakin' awesome. Of course, a $400k income would be freakin' awesome as well. I should add that they are not idiots and bought a more modest $350K home. Double income, physician and IT professional, only one child. But, I could easily see how you could burn through some money if you had really nice cars, a cook, a gardener, a nanny and a very expensive home.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 5, 2014 14:53:23 GMT -5
Some people at that income level do actually have personal chefs. My neighbor has one, even converted a garage to a prep-kitchen so the house doesn't smell like curry. They also have a cleaning service and lawn service- which I suppose could fall into "home maintenance".
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 5, 2014 14:19:46 GMT -5
When we met with our attorney to set up a will, trust, guardians and executors, I had to convince my husband not to over-complicate it. We'll be dead and in the ground, the money will be in a trust until they turn 21 when it gets split. We set no conditions, upon my preference and the attorney agreed. Sure, we would prefer them to make good decisions, but if we're dead, they'll have to figure it out. And, if they blow all their snowflake money...well they'll just have to earn their own money.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 3, 2014 13:32:27 GMT -5
I stopped tapping friends and family to help me with moves years ago. I just didn't like risking anyone else's back, so it is possible to do it without the help of friends and family. If it were me, I'd pack up everything myself, rent a truck, hire a couple of guys to empty the house into the truck and drive it to the destination. If everything is packed, 2-4 hours is all that's needed to load if you have 2-3 guys. I don't lift a thing myself. Then I'd hire a few guys to empty the truck into the new place. Or, I'd get a pod and hire a few guys to load it all into the pod and then call the pod company to pick up and deliver.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 2, 2014 20:53:18 GMT -5
I think that image is actually for Restoration Hardware. I peaked at a catalog once. Their prices are insane. One set of finials will cost $100, then you have brackets, rings, rods and the hardware alone for one window is $500 x 10 windows and you're already at $5000 and you don't even have curtains to hang on the hardware. If you want curtains, too- another $400+ per window. So, you could easily spend $10,000 at Restoration Hardware just on window treatments.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 2, 2014 20:36:43 GMT -5
Have you ever shopped new furniture? It can be super expensive. I refuse to go in a Restoration Hardware or Arhause- and these are just mall stores. I'm at a point in my life where I want to love my house, so I am putting in the effort not to just have filler/functional things, but rather things that are functional, make sense for the space and look great. My inlaws wanted to everything they didn't want anymore on us, but their house never looked nice. It was just a hodge podge of mediocre stuff. My bedroom looks amazing, but I bought the Basset cherry furniture second hand. My curtains and bedding cost a lot more than I'm willing to admit. I bought a new sofa and chairs from Crate and Barrel which set me back $4000. I have a big house and I hope I will be able to get it looking great within a budget. It's much easier decorating with new furniture because you can see how everything in a showroom or catalog works together, but I'm resisting the urge.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 2, 2014 9:43:50 GMT -5
I think you should record these conversations and have your husbands act them out. Like these guys acting out a conversation between one's mom and her sister: www.wimp.com/lipsyncconversation/
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 2, 2014 9:36:12 GMT -5
We bought a house in an affluent suburb with a top-ranked elementary school planted right in the middle of a neighborhood with sidewalks, play grounds, tennis courts, golf course, basketball courts, pools, a duck pond and all the amenities that come with a well-funded HOA. I envisioned my kids growing up with best friends in the neighborhood and walking to school together and playing outside together. Boy was I shocked when I discovered that 1/3 of the neighborhood sends their kids to private school, another 1/3 is bussed off to IB or magnate programs (every kid is a genius and gets into the highly competitive programs that start in middle school) and the remaining 1/3 is in the public school. Nobody plays together after school or weekends because they are all being shuttled to organized activities and probably don't really know each other since they aren't in school together. I love my neighborhood and don't regret choosing to live here, I'm just a little surprised and disappointed in reality. I only see toddler-age kids on the playgrounds with their parents, the sidewalks have plenty of activity- but it's mostly moms and dad's running to keep in shape or walking dogs. Occasionally I see a family biking. Our neighborhood is not as nice as what you are describing, but we have a similar situation. It's a ghost town. Kids go to different schools (local one isn't "good enough" so they go private or to a "better" public school), they spend their afternoons indoors or at formal activities, and weekends I have no idea where they are. I had thought that there were simply no kids around (we do have a lot of retired people who raised their families but have not yet downsized) but a friend started going house by house and describing the families that lived there and there were tons of kids! They are just simply never visible. Depressing, isn't it. There are 1600 homes in my development and just about every house has 2-4 children. Everyone fences in their backyards and puts up an expensive playground set. The neighborhood is 20 years old, but most people move once their kids are out, so there are very few empty nesters and people like me move in with our babies and toddlers.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 2, 2014 9:23:53 GMT -5
My sister struggles with a lot of issues, too. She's lost her whole family. I miss her dearly, but she is alive. It would be odd to post about how much I miss her, so I don't. But, I suspect I would if she died and take comfort in the nice words from others who might have known her during the better years and even from people who didn't know her but do know the pain of losing a loved one. It would make me happy if anyone remembered her as being a good person. If there were pictures to stalk, I would be stalking them.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 1, 2014 13:52:10 GMT -5
But...what if you have another...you need to keep all the clothes!
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 1, 2014 12:56:34 GMT -5
My kids have almost all designer clothes. I don't really care about the label, but I find amazing resell deals and have never spent more than $5 for an outfit. I can't beat that at Walmart. My latest score was 12 zackali4kids knitted outfits for the baby. I had no familiarity with that label and no idea they were $100 outfits when I was low-balling the seller. I got them for $2/each- new with tags. I just thought they were cute and didn't want the baby to look like her sister in every single picture I took because all she had was hand me downs. It wasn't until I got home and my husband said "more clothes?, I told him they were really nice and probably cost a lot more. He looked up the label and asked me why I didn't buy them all so we could resell them for more. I watched his pupils turn to $. Um, no- I have a full time job and it's not selling stuff.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 1, 2014 12:24:23 GMT -5
Now having read the article, I also find it ridiculous that he's patting himself on the back for moving to a great neighborhood with a great school and sending his kids to public school.
There is a very successful grass-roots movement in my city where parents have been rallying together to start a new trend of choosing public school over private school. They are banding together to improve the public school, meeting with administrators and teachers, spreading awareness on the value of the public school and squashing out-dated perceptions that never died even after the problems were resolved. That, to me, is impressive. Those parents deserve the pat on the back as do the kids who have successfully made it through inter-city schools. These schools are now higher ranked and doing much better than in the past- because of the grass-roots movement started by proactive parents.
This is the only part of the article I agree with: In a nutshell, I've always felt that when the community has a vested interest in making public schools the best they can be, those schools will excel. After all, our society is only as good as its education system.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 1, 2014 12:02:46 GMT -5
We bought a house in an affluent suburb with a top-ranked elementary school planted right in the middle of a neighborhood with sidewalks, play grounds, tennis courts, golf course, basketball courts, pools, a duck pond and all the amenities that come with a well-funded HOA. I envisioned my kids growing up with best friends in the neighborhood and walking to school together and playing outside together. Boy was I shocked when I discovered that 1/3 of the neighborhood sends their kids to private school, another 1/3 is bussed off to IB or magnate programs (every kid is a genius and gets into the highly competitive programs that start in middle school) and the remaining 1/3 is in the public school. Nobody plays together after school or weekends because they are all being shuttled to organized activities and probably don't really know each other since they aren't in school together.
I love my neighborhood and don't regret choosing to live here, I'm just a little surprised and disappointed in reality. I only see toddler-age kids on the playgrounds with their parents, the sidewalks have plenty of activity- but it's mostly moms and dad's running to keep in shape or walking dogs. Occasionally I see a family biking.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Sept 30, 2014 13:36:57 GMT -5
I've come across way more adults who don't listen and don't cooperate. Seriously, adults don't listen any better than children. Think about it, how many people have asked their spouses, inlaws, or peers to do something and they don't. I'm amazed anyone expects children to listen, be quiet and behave and yet for the most part- children do.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Sept 30, 2014 12:11:12 GMT -5
I don't know what I'm asking. I'm just frustrated. There is nothing I can do about the situation since it comes way above my head. The shift to a more innovative and collaborative workforce by moving back the office probably won't happen because our work is distributed around the world. There is no one central office for everyone to go into. We'll end up in a cube with our heads down the whole time or on the phone with somebody across the country or in Europe or Asia and I personally won't really know if my direct reports or the people I'm on the phone with are at home or at office- it will make no difference. VPN records will be the only way to determine if somebody was really in the office or working from home.
My department produces a product so our time is tracked and we are highly productive. We are not hourly, but we have all the tracking in place to maintain productive and resourcing. No question for us, but the rest of the areas are questionable as their roles are more nebulous. Very few other positions are tracked with us much rigor as my department. But, since it's across all channels, we're all going in- including the 100 of us, with the exception of people who live outside the commuting criteria or have a medical exclusion. And, we'll sit in a cube on the phone all day typing away on a computer, just like we do at home. They should just lay us all off and hire 10,000+ people in a central office to obtain the utopia work environment they seek. I suspect productivity would nose dive as we don't have time for all this creative collaboration. I wish I could see behind the curtain.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Sept 29, 2014 14:05:07 GMT -5
Every time I hear somebody hock a loogie and blow their nose at the dinner table, it's an old person. Every.single.time....disgusting. My great grandpa did that farmer blow thing. Talk about gross! He only did it outside that I saw, but still gross. I'd choose being annoyed by noisy children than disgusted by phlegmy old people when I'm out to dinner.
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