gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 20, 2021 16:29:49 GMT -5
After we were able to both max our retirement accounts and HSAs, we opened a self-managed brokerage account and add to it whenever we have extra. Each of our retirement accounts are over $1 million as well as the brokerage account. I don't completely follow the Phil plan, but if it weren't for his persistence in continously offering this advice, I never would have opened the accounts I did. Thanks Phil!
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 15, 2020 16:34:48 GMT -5
She should delay and reapply at Georgetown. As far as the col, if you expand your search, you'd be surprised what you can find in the d.c area. I have family that just bought a brand new 2020 constructed, 5000 sqf, 5 bedroom, 5 bathroom, 2 car garage, finished walkout basement with a decent size yard for $625,000 - and has all the nice things you'd expect in new construction, on the Maryland side, 30 min from D.C. I've been there and the area is fine. They sold their 1940's 1700 sqf, 3 br, 3 ba, 1 car garage for $525k, which was also 30 min from d.c on the other side. The areas seem comparable. Schools, I can't say. They don't have kids, but they are thrilled with their new home. Both have been successfully working from home and avoiding a commute since the pandemic started.
You guys will get through this. It has been a tough year for everyone. I don't think telling her to go for it, but without you is the answer. It seems like a passive aggressive way of telling her no to Albany.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 28, 2018 9:26:44 GMT -5
One note of caution: unless you're protected by a union contract, companies can and will change health care provisions for retirees. One of my past employers simply froze their contributions at what they were paying in a particular year- let's say it was 2012- so every year from then on they just gave you that amount towards health insurance even though the actual cost of coverage kept going up. My brother and SIL were less fortunate. Brother retired from a large company (a Berkshire subsidiary) at age 59. For two years they kept their promises to keep retirees on the company health insurance. As of 1/1/18 it's gone. Period. Not even a subsidy towards getting coverage elsewhere. Last I heard, the "best" they could do was coverage with a high deductible that would cost them $22K/year. No subsidies- apparently income from their savings and from his pension make them ineligible. They'll be OK- their house is paid for and they don't have any expensive hobbies- but when I saw them over Christmas they were in shock. SIL is a year older so she'll be eligible for Medicare in 2 years but it still sucks. So- keep this in mind before you let this job destroy you in the hopes of a promise that can be broken. All good points, but there is also no guarantee that a new employer won't have a dysfunctional workplace with jerks for half the salary. How many people here have posted their workplace issues. Might as well collect the good salary and find coping mechanisms.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 28, 2018 6:51:24 GMT -5
20 years down and only 5 to go for free benefits and a full pension? Plus, 5 years to collect a nice salary and max your savings and investments. You get to walk away at 63 and never have to work again. That last 18 months you will be walking on sunshine.
My parents started planning their retirement 5 years out. I've never seen two happier retirees. They built their perfect home in Florida and it was ready for them the year they retired at 55.
I'd play nice with this woman and start the count down. Break up the year with nice vacations to destress and your retirement plans. Good luck!
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 27, 2018 9:22:01 GMT -5
If the phones are always in their face, I encourage you to try out more group activities away from technology that will create memories and more bonding. Adventure days like canoeing, kayaking or hiking. Concert tickets or a festival. Family cook together night, game night, movie night, make-over night, self portrait painting night, etc. Life is busy, but if you're mindful about the time together, the outcome might surprise you.
There is hope on the other side. My parents divorced when I was young and my mom tried her hardest to poison us against our stepmother. My step mother took a lot of abuse from my older sister. But they came out okay and have been married over 30 years now. The time she had to deal with us was small in comparison to the big picture. I give her a lot of credit for hanging in there cooking for us, doing our laundry, cleaning, financially supporting us and remaining neutral while my dad did the parenting. Good luck!
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 22, 2018 13:44:56 GMT -5
If after reading these opinions, you still want to pursue a lawsuit, think about what case they might be building against you.
Does your new boss believe you are acting bitter for not getting the position and undermining his authority? Is there any part of your performance or behavior that might be under scrutiny? It is possible that a lawsuit or threat of a lawsuit will jeopardize your reputation and prospects for a new job? Since the position was filled without being posted, were you even an applicant?
What is your case exactly? You deserved the position over the one who got it and he doesn't seem to like you? His boss may have discriminated against you? (very hard to prove). You feel the new boss treats you unfairly?
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 22, 2018 12:34:56 GMT -5
She is demanding payment of her quarterly bonus and severance in return for not burying them. At my company, you don't get to demand severance and prepayment of a bonus if you resign. You could with a lawyer and threat of lawsuit, of course. It would not be worth the reputational risk if I had other opportunities that meant I would come out ahead. On the other hand, if I were being fired and my livelyhood was at stake, than I'd lawyer up.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 22, 2018 8:18:43 GMT -5
If it were me, I'd negotiate my offers to include a higher salary, higher bonus and a sign-on bonus at least as much as the quarterly bonus you will be forfeiting. Then, I wouldn't pursue anything with my old company and definitely wouldn't speak another word of this drama.
The situation sucks, but it's not illegal and your perception is likely completely different than the new person in charge. When leadership changes, some incumbents aren't always going to be onboard with new ways of doing work (ie, him meeting without you). If you are perceived as standing in the way of how he wants to run the shop, then he is going to want you out. That's harsh, but it's business.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 19, 2018 20:47:33 GMT -5
I rented a beach condo off VRBO once and it was awful. The place allowed no pets and it smelled like piss. The AC wasn't working and the worst part it was in a development with owners who hated vacationers. If somebody jumped in the pool with a little sand on their feet, they were yelled at. If my two year walked too close to the hot tub, I was glared at, somebody else had an adult beverage and more rule citations. That was 5 years ago and I haven't gotten up the nerve to do another VRBO. I only get a beach vacation once a year and I need it to be relaxing.
I didn't complain or leave a bad review. It's usually better to just move on.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 18, 2018 18:16:45 GMT -5
Disney world is about a 13 hour drive from me, without stopping, so we would likely fly. I have a family of 5. If I felt like I could do a 1 week trip for $3000, I wouldn't mind Disney. However, whenever I scout this info, families are spending $8000-12000 on their Disney vacations. We have season passes to the local amusement park, with more rides and less walking. I've been to Disney when I was a kid and an adult and I just can't onboard with shelling out that kind of money. My in-laws are dying to go and say it's on their bucket list. So I will probably have to bite the bullet and figure it out. I don't think they will make us pay for them, but it does mean even more effort and even less fun for me. We spend $8 to 12k on every vacation. Chicago, New York, California, Cancun, DC, etc. I rarely spend more than $2-$3k, so it's a pretty significant jump for a vacation that I'm not dying to splurge on.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 17, 2018 19:16:55 GMT -5
Good for you for taking your professional image to the next level. Focus the next 18 months on being proficient at your job, continue to take advantage of career development opportunities and expand your network. Then see where you are in 18-24 months as far as advancement or other opportunities.
It really does depend. Most of my team consists of people in career destination positions and that's ok. One or two definitely want to climb and hustle and that's ok too.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 17, 2018 18:37:53 GMT -5
My in-laws are dying to go and say it's on their bucket list. So I will probably have to bite the bullet and figure it out. I don't think they will make us pay for them, but it does mean even more effort and even less fun for me. So, tell 'em to go! No reason that should compel you to spend limited time and resources to do something that doesn't interest you. $8,000-$12,000 for Disney is insane. I'm seriously considering a cruise to the Galapagos that will likely run me $12,000+ but that's real, not audio-animatronic. We have gone several times to Disney and Universal, getting harder for me to walk and I don't want a wheel chair. Does Disney still let anyone in a wheel chair (and those accompanying them) go to the head of the line? Too bad they cracked down on people with legitimate physical limitations renting themselves out as "family members" to groups who wanted to skip the lines. You could have paid for your vacation that way! Except the main reason that Disney is on their bucket list is because they didn't get to go with their other grandchildren and they aren't offering to take mine. They want us to plan our next vacation there so they can come too. They are extremely frugal so we would likely have to foot the bill unless we were fine with them sleeping in their mini van in a Walmart parking lot. They have never even tried the local amusement park with my kids and that is a long, exhausting day, so I think they have forgotten what life is really like with a toddler, preschooler and kindergartener.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 17, 2018 17:56:54 GMT -5
Disney world is about a 13 hour drive from me, without stopping, so we would likely fly. I have a family of 5. If I felt like I could do a 1 week trip for $3000, I wouldn't mind Disney. However, whenever I scout this info, families are spending $8000-12000 on their Disney vacations.
We have season passes to the local amusement park, with more rides and less walking. I've been to Disney when I was a kid and an adult and I just can't onboard with shelling out that kind of money.
My in-laws are dying to go and say it's on their bucket list. So I will probably have to bite the bullet and figure it out. I don't think they will make us pay for them, but it does mean even more effort and even less fun for me.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 4, 2018 14:44:14 GMT -5
Thanks again all.
Not worried about getting a Teacher pension. I just don't know how it works and don't want to be penalized (have to contribute or something to a pension that I may never qualify for).
Yes the "hobby" would be taking a class or 2 here and there to re-fresh on Math and build towards teacher certification. I am not so interesting in tutoring or anything in addition to my normal job (also I don't think I have the skills right now to do that). I am just not feeling my job lately and I felt so alive while teaching. I'll see what a conversation with the Troops to Teachers POC brings..... Have you considered a corporate trainer position either with the government or private company?
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Feb 4, 2018 14:16:14 GMT -5
You guys are nicer than me. If anyone day sleeps in my house, they better go to their bedroom if they want it quiet.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 28, 2018 20:33:37 GMT -5
On January 1, I started my toy room transformation. This room is 9.5'x 20' and is right off the kitchen. I've been using it as an off stage excuse for 4 years and just shut the door on the toy mess. I emptied it out, painted it, replaced the carpet, hired an electrician, bought a 10 ft counter, 2 18" base cabinets, a new sofa, a 65" tv, 3 counter height stools and now the room is amazing. My girls have a homework/craft counter and a nice place to play. The closet holds all their toys and the drawers hold all their craft supplies. Plus I put up 3 cork boards above the counter and key hooks to hang small galvanized buckets for supplies and now they have their own customized work space. I finally don't have to close the door! Pictures!Do you still need to do that through Photobucket or has photo posting gotten easier? I'm super proud of this successful pinterest outcome. I must have looked at hundreds of toy room/tv room/homework rooms. I also installed shallow book ledges for a reading nook and a low mirror for their dress up clothes.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 28, 2018 14:39:17 GMT -5
I have 3 kids, 6, 3 and 1. My biggest expense is the $41,650/year daycare bill. Anything else is minor. I buy most toys and clothes second hand. I give team sports and lessons for Christmas and we do a lot of parks, library type activities on weekends and pools in the summer. We rarely go out to eat as it is way too much trouble. Cloth diapers and breast milk when they were babies.
We have a nice house and live in a nice neighborhood. My 6 year old asked me recently if we were rich. I told her we are comfortable. She pressed it, so I clarified,that we can afford everything we need and some things we want, but not everything. She seemed ok with that answer. They are used to hearing no, but we are fine and I don't want to raise spoiled brats. We work way too hard for our money.
Like swamp and many others here, we live way below our means and get to choose for our kids whether we buy it or not regardless of whether it was budgeted. That thought process usually comes down to how fickle kids can be. No, I won't buy that $300 tuba because it will be collecting dust in a week or worse I will have to nag my kid to practice something that nobody wants to hear.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 28, 2018 13:24:14 GMT -5
On January 1, I started my toy room transformation. This room is 9.5'x 20' and is right off the kitchen. I've been using it as an off stage excuse for 4 years and just shut the door on the toy mess.
I emptied it out, painted it, replaced the carpet, hired an electrician, bought a 10 ft counter, 2 18" base cabinets, a new sofa, a 65" tv, 3 counter height stools and now the room is amazing. My girls have a homework/craft counter and a nice place to play. The closet holds all their toys and the drawers hold all their craft supplies. Plus I put up 3 cork boards above the counter and key hooks to hang small galvanized buckets for supplies and now they have their own customized work space.
I finally don't have to close the door!
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 9, 2018 7:02:58 GMT -5
I never regretted accepting management positions. Keep your skills though. I survived 3 reorgs because they were able to put me back in an individual contributor role instead of out the door, like many other managers. I was promoted in 2008, and then 2009 was a reorg. It took 5 years to get another management position and then another reorg in 2016 and back to individual contributor. A year ago I was promoted once again. It's a bit of a square dance at my company instead of a ladder.
Enjoy that 17% raise and realize that you'll find your groove in the new position and nothing has to be permanent.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 4, 2018 11:14:36 GMT -5
Update your resume, update your LinkedIn profile and start casually looking. Post if you find something you might like.
In the meantime, stay the course until you get an update on future job with current company or a job offer with the new company. Good luck!
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 4, 2018 10:35:31 GMT -5
Everytime my husband tickles me, I am always surprised how difficult it is to get him to stop. I pinch and push and am still stuck until he realizes it's not funny. He's not likely using half his strength as he's just kidding around.
I am tall and he is average, so we're the same size approximately. It's an eye opener for me for if I were up against a real threat and predator.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 3, 2018 8:27:41 GMT -5
I'm also a member of the Jennifer club. In elementary school, I wasn't aware of any others, in middle school, there were a couple, but not in any of my classes and I wasn't friends with any, same with high school. It wasn't until college that I realized how hugely popular the name is. In the working world, most people I work with are 20 years older, so it's not been too bad. I always introduce and announce myself with my first and last name, though.
I heard a stat that 50% of parents regret the names they pick for their children. I regret the name for my first. It's fine for a kid, but I don't think it will be great for an adult.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 15, 2017 11:03:49 GMT -5
So - a year's worth of therapy may be paying off. This is the first Christmas that I can remember that I am actually enjoying. I have always hated it, even as a kid. Getting out from all of that fundamentalist religious bullshit and dealing with the fallout has been hell, but I am starting to see some of the benefits Even the counselor told me this week he's seen a big change recently, like I have become lighter.
Still need to finish presents for the kiddos. I had cleaned up at Walgreens last year in January when they put the toys on clearance 90% off. Pretty sure Jaydon's stuff is done for less than $5 I need to find a lip gloss kit for Aly and she should be done. Taylor is easy - he got a couple new books, and I am putting new batteries in the baby toys we have and wrapping them up DH and I aren't exchanging gifts, but the "kids" got him a cologne set. I just need to finish up extended family and we are good to go! I got my siblings personalized ornaments this year. One db is expecting a new baby, one db just bought a house, seemed like milestone ornaments would be a good option. I am stressed out about what to get for SIL's kids (quads), because nothing will be right. I want to get them a family pass to go do something fun, but she has made statements about them needing to be treated like individuals and not getting group gifts. And then says they don't need more toys and crap. I can't win either way I go. But the kiddos are sweet so I want to do something fun for them. Go ahead and get the family pass to do something fun. I don't know if they are boys or girls, but get inexpensive purses or wallets for each, create a pass or ticket that says what the fun day is with their name printed on it, put it in the purse or wallet and wrap them all different. Make each pass with a different image and colors. Bonus, add their favorite candy to their wallet/purse. Put the original receipt in a card for mom. If they are girls, go to Claire's where everything is cheap. My 6 year old loves key chains too, so that's another way to you can personalize it. 5 below has a lot of that kind of stuff too for boys and girls.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 13, 2017 20:46:10 GMT -5
Thats how I understand it too. Just was wondering , how long it would take the child to finish feeding...vs how long it took after the inevitable back and forth, to deplane family, parents...plus luggage or will that stay with plane and then be delivered, [cost to airline] plus understand family given fare back....Seems better decision would be for the kid to finish feeding...then take off..just saying.. Not to mention, the two year old in question was already buckled and crying in his seat when she came back and told them to get off the plane.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 13, 2017 15:33:49 GMT -5
I actually don't mind Yankee gift swaps. I'd much rather do that with coworkers than a secret Santa. The big hit this year was an aluminum water bottle. But other hits were wine, coffee travel mug with Starbucks gift card, desktop zen garden, magnetic sculpture desk toy, 3d pin art board, portable sit or stand laptop table, and a throw blanket because it's freezing cold in our office.
I like them so much I wish we would do Yankee gift swaps with extended family instead of having to spend way too much money buying everyone crap they don't want. And, I love that it extends the gift opening process and you can steal if there is something that specifically suits your taste.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 12, 2017 12:01:56 GMT -5
No way would I go to a party with that much of a commute. The next day, if your boss or anyone asks you where you were, just say you were really disappointed you missed it and immediately ask how it was... The food, the music, the atmosphere, how late it went on, etc so as to take the focus off you and why you weren't there. For the next person who asks, say you heard it was so much fun and repeat.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 12, 2017 11:56:16 GMT -5
I watched a marathon of that reality show Airline, one uneventful day pre-kids (of course). I'm convinced all airline workers are trained to escalate situations rather than defuse. There is simply no other excuse. I would be so tressed out watching that show and how poorly they responded to even the most innocuous incidents with absolutely no empathy for the customer. And this is something Southwest airlines produced!
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 4, 2017 9:24:52 GMT -5
I always wonder who people are talking to when I see them on their phones in the car at 7:00 am, on their phones walking into work, on their phones at the grocery store, etc. I am pretty much never talking on my phone, except meetings at work and I am at my desk, not on the go.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Dec 4, 2017 8:50:34 GMT -5
Monthly. We have a great relationship, but none of us are phone talkers and live a good 14 hours from each other, so when I went to college that's what happened. There is no expectations and no guilt. It just is. Also, my mom died 20 years ago and my dad isn't that into texting either.
My husband is not much better with his family and his family is great too. I guess we are just weird people.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Nov 4, 2017 12:24:03 GMT -5
If you can, pull most of it back in a loose bread. Leave a few strands in the front out for twirling. It will be much easier and remind her that mornings will be better.
I have extremely curly hair that I hate, but I've learned to deal. Thankfully none of kids ended up with my hair.
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