gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Aug 6, 2017 13:24:28 GMT -5
My grandma worked at a cologne counter until she was 81 years old. She only retired because she fell and broke her hip and never fully recovered.
i work with quite a few 70 year olds and I am always surprised how old they are. They look no older than the 50 somethings. So if your mom is a young 70 year old, nobody will likely realize she is 70. Let us know what she decides.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Aug 6, 2017 13:18:37 GMT -5
Daycare is expensive in my area too. I did a napkin estimate and came up with $100,000 per kid is what I will spend from 12 weeks - 10 years old and that estimate is conservative.
While they go to a great early education program, stashing that $300,000 in a variety of investments, including college, and travel experiences would be a far better use of the money. If I had my mil living in my house and willing to watch the kids, it would a no-brainer for me. Kids turn out fine whether they are home or daycare assuming it's a safe environment. And, they won't even remember, regardless. I don't even know if I was in daycare or at home before kindergarten.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Aug 4, 2017 7:36:55 GMT -5
Why not hire one of YOUR kids? The boy is what? 13? Next summer DS is going to be 14, legally able to work. I want him to get a normal job..a W-2. Not work for me. I hate mixing family/friends and work. Generally, I don't do it. And I think it's poor taste for your mom to be a work reference. And if he did mow our lawn, it would fall under the category of chores. I don't get paid to clean my house, I don't see why I should have to pay my kids to contribute around the house. He needs to continue with little little league for resume/HS prep purposes...and hopefully will ump there. We're on the path for DS umping this fall, and making some money. He's also strongly considering being a CIT next summer. So between that and summer camp, that's three weeks gone. He could be busy daily with little league, depending on how often he umps, from late April-late June. Scouting would take up most of July. We have a neighbor that owns a business that has told DS that there's a job waiting for him. I'm hoping that will fill in the rest of his time, and be flexible with his hours. If we have extra money, I'd like to be a good YMER and open up ROTH for the kid and put money in it for retirement. It will be easier to do with a W2, than with paying him to mow our lawn. What type of w2 jobs are available for a 14 year old? My sister got a paper route when she was 13, but it seems like most of those go to adults these days. I've seen kids work concession stands, but I am not sure if those are owners kids or family friends hanging out. The lifeguards at the pool all appear to be at least 18. When i was a teenager, all of my friends had the jobs at the local grocery stores, amusement park, movie theater and fast food. These days, once again everyone looks much, much older. I have heard of one 15 year old in my neighborhood doing some scouting for a delegate. Great experience, but I think it was unpaid, internship work. Of course, there is the modeling and entertainment industry, but may not be w2. I knew a couple of 15 yr olds that worked with me when I was 16. They had to have a work permit and our manager had to follow special child labor laws for them regarding breaks and overtime. It seems like most teenagers have been squeezed out of the w2 jobs and are mowing lawns and babysitting. Or maybe they are just too busy for a w2 job and their parents don't motivate them. I am not trying to debate or anything, just curious what you have in mind for him. I am guessing you have an inside connection that make logistics work?
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Aug 3, 2017 8:33:17 GMT -5
My husband moved out of his house 15 years ago, rented it furnished (to his granddad) for a couple of years, then had to empty it when a new tenant moved in and wanted it unfurnished. He finally sold that house last year.
He moved out of his condo 10 years ago and has rented it out since then. He took his personal things and left everything else. That worked for 5 years, then that tenant (a friend) moved out and the new tenant didn't want it furnished. So he got all of the furniture and dishes and such.
Then 4 years ago, we moved out of my town house and haven't sold it either. We needed all our furniture, so we rent that one unfurnished.
There have been a few hiccups, but for the most part it's been fine.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Aug 2, 2017 8:16:42 GMT -5
Cross pollinated is not the same as molecular manipulation and splicing in a laboratory. Its an interacial marriage vs. dr. Frankenstein. This. I am not one to get in a debate about GMOs, but anyone who is, should definitely read about what genetically engineering dna means. You already have a hint. It is not cross pollination or traditional "it could happen in nature" cross-breeding. By definition, it does not occur by mating or natural recombination.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Aug 1, 2017 9:14:16 GMT -5
My parents (dad and stepmom) both worked. They were both home by 5:15 or so and my stepmother cooked a well-balanced meal and had it on the table around 6ish. My Dad coached my little league teams and took us to our doctors appointments, the whole family took walks or bike rides after dinner, since dinner was early. Nobody got to lay on the couch and fall asleep after work.
They are wonderful role models and I have tried to structure my life similarly so that neither of us carry the full burden of children, household or finances.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Aug 1, 2017 7:45:50 GMT -5
One of my former bosses pissed off a few too many people and was given the option to take a demotion or resign. She was 50 and said, no I will take option 3 and retire. She was kind of an asshole, so I was glad to see her go. That was 3 years ago and she appears to still be retired. I see her post nasty things about my company on facebook from time to time, usually in the form of comments on co-workers' innocuous posts. She still lacks grace 3 years into retirement. Regardless, I hope to be in the same position when i am 50, but less bitter.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 31, 2017 18:17:37 GMT -5
IDK, as a mother, I can think of lots of reasons to cut people off: they don't respect my rules, they are a child molester, they keep unsecure guns around, they use drugs, they expose kids to inappropriate adult content, etc. If there is a chance this man that I don't want around me or my kid, would be hanging out while my daughter is, then it is time to end the relationship with the whole family. He is the second cousins grandpa, correct? He could come around unannounced.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 31, 2017 18:04:26 GMT -5
My sister prefers to babysit at her house and have the kids dropped off and picked up. That's not at all convenient for me so she has NEVER babysat. She has no kids and lives 10 min away. I'd much rather her watch the kids at my house and be put to bed. I cant say I hold it against her though. Everyone prefers convenience.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 31, 2017 9:40:05 GMT -5
We had a talk with Gwen this weekend. She has been brushing her teeth with minimal attitude. She cleaned her room all by herself. Can't wait for school to start, we're entering that stage where she is getting antsy and acts out. She is like me, she prefers structure and 3 months of "nothing" to do wears on her. Kids & Co provides some structure but she's grouped with the little kids (it goes preschool-1, 2-5) so she's getting bored. Next summer should be a lot more interesting for her since she can go on the field trips and to the actual pool. Did you say she is 7? That's a bummer she is with the little kids. Mine are all at camp at their normal daycare and it's way better than the school year. My 5 year old goes to the pool every Monday and Wednesday and then field trips on Fridays. They have archery, climbing and nature hikes on Tuesdays and Thursdays and tons of activity centers to choose from when they are in house. She only gets upset when I pick her up before 5.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 31, 2017 9:04:12 GMT -5
There could be many, many reasons a mom wouldn't want her young daughter around someone (maybe it's petty, maybe it's justified, not enough details here to say). If she lets her go to the second cousins house, this granddad could be there or show up. So yeah, If you need to cut someone out, you have to totally cut them all out. Obviously a lot of time was spent together to create such a strong bond, which means granddad (is that bil, it is really hard to follow) is likely hanging out a lot too.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 28, 2017 12:14:21 GMT -5
How often do your kids poop? Once a day? This is not something I would punish for or do for them after age 5. If you happened to notice their buts aren't clean, then it's bath or shower time. That's not a punishment, but a lesson on hygiene. And I agree with previous post, no treats on days teeth aren't brushed. That's not a punishment, just a lesson on how teeth rot. good luck! you don't have time to bathe your kid when you notice they didn't wipe at 8am on a Monday morning. Also, what about the inevitably poopy underwear you'll have to wash? You wouldn't say or do anything? A shower takes 2 minutes and if there isn't enough time for that, a wet rag and a comment that there will be a bath or shower after school. I get it, I have a full time job, a 1 year old, 3 year old and 5 year old. I have no time to micro-manage and no time for extra tasks. If I didn't notice an issue the night before then I probably wouldn't notice at 8:00 am on a Monday morning. no, poopy underwear does not bother me. I cloth diapered 3 babies and my machine does not seem to mind. Sure, I say something, but I don't tease or humiliate. "Remember to wipe next time, now let's hop in the shower." She hates showers. This is an issue with my 3 year old, but not my 5 year old anymore. However, my 5 year old does still wet the bed times sometimes and I know she is embarrassed but I do not shame her. She was very proud to do her own laundry last weekend. So that is something.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 28, 2017 11:30:33 GMT -5
How often do your kids poop? Once a day? This is not something I would punish for or do for them after age 5. If you happened to notice their buts aren't clean, then it's bath or shower time. That's not a punishment, but a lesson on hygiene.
And I agree with previous post, no treats on days teeth aren't brushed. That's not a punishment, just a lesson on how teeth rot.
good luck!
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 26, 2017 14:01:48 GMT -5
My biggest expense is daycare which is more than $40 grand a year. No other expenses come close. I am surprised people on a money board don't include the value of their home (minus mortgage) in their net worth calculations.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 23, 2017 20:17:38 GMT -5
If the posting has any skills, degrees or certifications listed as required, then if those degrees, certifications or skills aren't on the resume, you will get screened out. It is a legal issue if hr doesn't disqualify those applicants. You definitely need to be customizing your resume to the posting.
Preferred is different than required.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 22, 2017 8:00:31 GMT -5
Good luck Ava. my advice after reading so many of your posts, if your internal dialogue is as negative as what you write here, you should work on focusing on all the positives of your situations. You have a good job, a home, an incredibly supportive boss, a family who loves you and friends who care about you. People feed off of energy, so make yours the best energy out there.
Make a connection with the hiring manager on linkedin and post for that job. Don't think about all the reasons you shouldn't go for that job and definitely don't put anymore energy into thinking (or worse, writing) about why you won't get that job. There is no rule that you have to accept an offer. So cross the pros and cons bridge when you get there.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 21, 2017 10:55:21 GMT -5
I think you are way overthinking things. People aren't always going to be available at the same time and that is ok. You want to hang out with your friends when your available and they want to hang out with you when they're available. They obviously care enough about you that they still want to hang out, even if it means you don't get a lot of notice and can't do it. It does not mean they think you are a lonely old woman with nothing better to do.
I'm guessing your work and school take priority over hanging out, so you're not always available at a moments notice. Does that make you a shitty friend, of course not. It is what it is. Friendships are not usually number 1 priority for people.
I don't even know what to say about not getting an invite to join a couple on a motorcycle ride on the 4th of July. Or getting invited to open presents on Christmas day. Seems odd to want to participate in these intimate family events.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 18, 2017 19:46:33 GMT -5
I have absent mindedly put two contact lenses in the same eye. My vision was instantly blurrier than it is was with nothing in it. I suspect the lenses were not in her pupil, but somewhere at the top of her eye socket. 27 is crazy.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 17, 2017 17:55:41 GMT -5
Yep sounds about right. I have had success using a benefits concierge at my company to help with issues like this.
It kills me when people say all you have to do is ask the doctors office, select in network and check with insurance and there should be no surprised. Wrong.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 16, 2017 7:56:25 GMT -5
Yes, the kids are less physically demanding once they get to school age. But that's about the only place that you gain. Your kids don't have homework. You don't have to attend school plays, concerts, mother's day teas, parent teacher conferences, school projects. There's no school kid drama. I am definitely doing it wrong. All of that stuff started for me and my kids when they were 12 weeks old. Plus, with 20 kids in each room, there are so many birthday parties on the weekends. I guess I should brace myself for it to get even harder.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 13, 2017 20:14:30 GMT -5
I don't stay at home, but if I did, I would upgrade my gym membership to a family plan. The family plan at my gym offers free child care in a kids zone while you work out. They also allow you to leave for up to two hours, which mean you could knock out a hair cut or some other errand without dragging the kids along. They also have date nights where they feed the kids and you and your husband can go out. How awesome is that? Kids get to play and socialize and you get time away. My county's parks and rec department also offers dozens of toddler classes for really cheap. But I can't take advantage of those either since they are during the day. There are also great free programs at the library. Just see how great you can make it.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 13, 2017 20:00:23 GMT -5
Leave the tomatos, it is not worth being nicknamed stingy tomato guy (stg) behind your back for whatever stories might be told. Your an ex now and your name will be replaced with _____ guy. Seriously, take the high road.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 13, 2017 19:50:22 GMT -5
With 3 small children and a full-time job, my life is probably most similar to mrs. Archie. Life is really freakin hard right now. That link you posted was dead on. So much of my mental capacity is taken by keeping all the balls in the air. Many mornings I will have put in a load of laundry, gone to the gym, gone to the grocery store, switched the laundry, unloaded a dish washer, gotten myself, a baby, toddler and preschooler ready, dropped them off and by the time I am sitting at work at 8:00 am it feels like I have already had a full day. But I am still running through my mental list, did I remember the field trip shirt, did I remember the blankie, did I remember swim suits for water day. I am moving so fast and it keeps going when I am going home to pick them up, get their stuff put away, dinner ready, the kitchen cleaned up, baths, everything laid out and organized for the next day, etc.
We got home yesterday and my husband was laying on the couch. I raised my eyebrow at him and said have you ever seen me laying down after work. Nope. There is stuff to do, do it. And yes, women often get the "take time for yourself" lecture, but it seems hopeless if nobody is going to unload that dishwasher, put the clothes away, etc which creates more anxiety. And that's what turns great women into nags. If she really posted that link to Facebook, I think you know that you need to step up and do the stuff that needs to get done. Don't ask, beat her to it. Don't just take the laundry out of the machine, put it away. Don't just cook dinner, clean the kitchen as you cook and put the dishes in the dishwasher after dinner. Success looks like harmony.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 13, 2017 11:00:38 GMT -5
You will never regret taking the high road. Sorry you are going through this.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 12, 2017 17:57:14 GMT -5
If the kids want family homes and inheritances, then why can't they step up and take care of their aging parents? There have got to be other options worth considering when funds are available other then strategically hiding assets so the state has to take care of everyone. some happy median between elderly dying in the street and Medicaid nursing homes for all.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 12, 2017 14:51:00 GMT -5
I might be one of the few people who have had no relapses after that year of dealing with it. It has been 7 years and I wear flip-flops everyday year round. I am barefoot all the time at home and wear flats with no support to my desk job.
But if i am running or exercising, I always wearing recently purchased running shoes, no exceptions.
Knock on wood that there is normal life on the other side of plantar fasciitis.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 12, 2017 11:52:07 GMT -5
How much of a difference is there between 35% of GROSS income and 25% NET income? Are people getting their undies in a bunch over a small amount?
I get 'gross income' that's the total amount I'm compensated (and I often think of it as a "funny money" number - since I obviously do NOT have that much money to spend each year - and it really doesn't indicate how much disposable income I might have...)
How do you calculate Net income - is it just after payroll taxes and SOME payroll deductions? Or does it exclude 401K, FSA, HSA, and whatever other "voluntary" deductions you can take? I'm pretty sure there's no standard (everyone across the country pays the same) deduction amount for the various types of healthcare plans available thru employers (depends on how much the employer contributes).
I'm pretty sure that the amount on my "check" - how much $$ I have to spend is very different from every one else who has the same Gross Income as I do...
I would think the whole 25% of Net Income rule of thumb is simply to try to get people to EXAMINE their income and how they spend money - so they don't get into financial trouble (or get disappointed when they go for a mortgage). There is a line on your paycheck for gross and one is net. So, it's not really a gray area other than the fact that you can adjust optional benefits to increase or decrease your net income. For me, there is a $4,000 difference between my monthly net and monthly gross. That $4000 doesn't get to go to housing.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 12, 2017 10:37:05 GMT -5
I had it in 2010 when I trained for my first marathon. Everything I read said it would go away if I wore a boot to bed and stretched it with a tennis ball. They were wrong. It took stopping all running for an entire year.
To make sure it stays gone,i replace my running shoes every 3-4 months. Instead of buying a super expensive shoe, I buy the best deal for a decent brand. I can usually find a high rated Asics or saucony for $40 if it's an unpopular color. It feels weird recycling a shoe that seems in good shape, but I learned my lesson.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 12, 2017 7:50:50 GMT -5
When I bought my first home on my own for $165,000, I was only making $40k gross. So that is just under 25% of gross. I imagine it was closer to 40% net as I still managed to put 20% in my 401k.
A lot of people told me I was making a mistake. But it worked out fine. I had no car loan, no credit card debt, no student loan debt and could afford a bigger housing payment. Plus, I had a lot drive to move up and make more money and so I did.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 11, 2017 7:14:06 GMT -5
My parents still pay the bill if we are out to dinner. It doesn't seem to be an issue, but we only see them a couple of times a year. I will probably pay for my kids as well when they are adults. Maybe it's a southern thing.
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