Don't do me any more favors (rant)

[Ryan]

I've come to the realization that it's probably best to just deal with complete strangers/businesses when you need something done.  A few weeks ago, I mentioned to my sister that we had a reunion we were going to and she offers to watch the kids.  Great!  As the day gets nearer, she says "Can you drop them off at my house?" and I say that's no problem, we just want them to be back here to go to bed.  On the day of, she says "Can you pick them up at my house".  Now, the original plan was to have her stay at our house so the kids could go to bed at a decent time.  Not that we were planning on staying out really late, but we didn't plan on getting back until around 9.  So driving the opposite direction to her house to pick them up at 9, then having to drive them home and put them to bed didn't seem all that great.  

When I kind of hem/haw about this, she gives me this attitude like "Geez, I'm doing you a favor and you can't even pick them up?".  Mind you, I don't mind the legwork, I'm more concerned with keeping my kids up late for really no reason.  If I knew this upfront, I would've just told her we'd get a sitter.

My uncle, a freight broker, has hounded me for business.  When we finally give him the business, it was less about the cost savings and more just to give him some extra business.  Well he picks up a shipment at our building, goes to the appointment, and there is a delay for a couple hours.  Normally, they allot a few hours for the delivery and if you go over, they charge like $50/hour.  He calls in a favor with the freight company and tells me that the driver didn't feel like waiting so he's just going to drop the trailer there for the weekend and pick it up on Monday. "don't worry about any extra cost, this is easier for everyone"

Had this been a normal business arrangement, he would've called me and asked me what to do and I would've told him to wait and we'll pay him $50/hour.  He makes the executive decision to help us save some money, and now the company still has not unloaded the truck and his trailer is stranded there.  He calls me in a panic saying it's costing more than he thought and he'll have to pass on the cost.  In this situation, I told him that's on him since he didn't ask me.  I'm sure he's really happy with me.

[Wisconsin Beth]

I feel you on the kid bedtime/sitting thing. I'm finally tracking down a teen to watch the kids when dh and I want to go out in the evenings.

[MJ2.0]

yeah, some things need to be hired out.  Your sister sounds ridiculous though.  Why didn't she just say she wanted you to drop them off AND pick them up from the get-go?

[Wisconsin Beth]

Jul 31, 2017 13:36:49 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

yeah, some things need to be hired out.  Your sister sounds ridiculous though.  Why didn't she just say she wanted you to drop them off AND pick them up from the get-go?

or offer to keep the kids overnight.

[Shooby]

    Honestly, it's just easier not to do business with people you know.  I don't like doing business with relatives.  I find it very awkward and uncomfortable.  My niece sells cars but she sells cars that are a brand that we don't like.  Sorry, I don't like that brand.  Even if  i did, i would be very uncomfortable with that.  
     
  As for sitting, that's a bit different.  But, now that you know that she might wig out on your plans, then from now just hire a sitter for things that you don't really want to worry about.  And, maybe use her for other times when it doesnt' matter so much.

[gooddecisions]

My sister prefers to babysit at her house and have the kids dropped off and picked up. That's not at all convenient for me so she has NEVER babysat. She has no kids and lives 10 min away. I'd much rather her watch the kids at my house and be put to bed. I cant say I hold it against her though. Everyone prefers convenience.

[midjd]

Honestly, it's just easier not to do business with people you know. I don't like doing business with relatives. I find it very awkward and uncomfortable

I agree. I'm far too much of a control freak and would prefer to pay people the going rate so I can dictate the scope of services and express dissatisfaction if necessary without having to open Christmas presents with them later.  

My FIL is a logger... we have a few trees we want to take down so we can eventually build a detached garage. Every time we mention it, FIL says no, no, you can't hire someone, I won't hear of it, I can do it in a day--but we've lived here 7 years, either do already or let us hire someone! There's no way to say that without sounding like a brat, so I haven't, but it is frustrating when you know it would cause hurt feelings NOT to use someone but you're completely at the mercy of their schedule.

That freight situation would drive me crazy, too. If you make a unilateral decision to save "everyone" time/money, that's on you IMO...

[Ryan]

Jul 31, 2017 19:10:07 GMT -5 midjd said:

Honestly, it's just easier not to do business with people you know. I don't like doing business with relatives. I find it very awkward and uncomfortable

I agree. I'm far too much of a control freak and would prefer to pay people the going rate so I can dictate the scope of services and express dissatisfaction if necessary without having to open Christmas presents with them later.  

My FIL is a logger... we have a few trees we want to take down so we can eventually build a detached garage. Every time we mention it, FIL says no, no, you can't hire someone, I won't hear of it, I can do it in a day--but we've lived here 7 years, either do already or let us hire someone! There's no way to say that without sounding like a brat, so I haven't, but it is frustrating when you know it would cause hurt feelings NOT to use someone but you're completely at the mercy of their schedule.

That freight situation would drive me crazy, too. If you make a unilateral decision to save "everyone" time/money, that's on you IMO...

Yes, I get the same response from my family when I mention hiring a babysitter.  It's like, in that moment they are very flexible.  "Oh, just call us to babysit, we'll come over to your house, put them to bed, and you guys can stay out all night".  When the day comes, they want us to drop them off at their house.  If we insist they stay at our house, they keep texting asking when we'll be home.

[toomuchreality]

These kinds of favors I can do without.  Ugh.