am I being a b1tch?

[MJ2.0]

Today we had a delayed opening (9:30am) due to the weather. I texted my team this information at around 6:30am. Then I get a text from one of them at 8:30 saying they were going to be late because they have to dig their car out. I told him that I didn't know why he'd be late as I gave everyone plenty of notice but alright. THEN I get an email from his mother (higher level manager in an adjacent department) saying there was lots of ice and they'd be later than 9:30. That really rubs me the wrong way. This person has a habit of poor/nonexistent planning and that is the issue. For him to get his mother to write me separately is just... like I don't even know what to say. I will be having a talk with him about planning better. Even my habitually late slacker of a team member was here before 9:30.

But am I being too harsh for being irritated at this? What would you say?

[Cookies Galore]

He got his mommy involved?!?!??! What a little bitch!

[The Captain]

Oh FFS!  No, you're not a bitch (well at least not for this ).

People like that drive me nuts.  My commute is 1.5 hours each way, I got up 30 min early today because I knew it'd take longer to get to the train and I have staff that live less than 20 minutes away telling me they aren't sure they'll be able to make it in.

Wusses!

ETA - what would I say - "You knew there would be snow and ice and should have planned on getting up earlier to deal with it".

What time is normal opening?

[Deleted]

I'd talk to his mother. I'd take the approach that I'm concerned she might not realize the impression she is giving of her son when she does things like that. Management at the company or not, no one looks good when their mommy calls in for them. As for the not planning ahead, he travels with his management mother. Kinda hard to make the argument that it will hold you back.

[MJ2.0]

Feb 2, 2015 9:55:46 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

I'd talk to his mother. I'd take the approach that I'm concerned she might not realize the impression she is giving of her son when she does things like that. Management at the company or not, no one looks good when their mommy calls in for them. As for the not planning ahead, he travels with his management mother. Kinda hard to make the argument that it will hold you back.

sometimes they do travel together but I don't know if they actually were traveling together in this case. I guess I'll find out. I am very understanding with my associates that do carpool as there's only so much you can control when you have to factor in other people. But he's had these sort of planning issues at other times, so this isn't a new thing.

[MJ2.0]

Feb 2, 2015 9:52:08 GMT -5 The Captain said:

what would I say - "You knew there would be snow and ice and should have planned on getting up earlier to deal with it".

What time is normal opening?

that's sort of what I said to him. Normal report time for us is 8. He lives far away with variable traffic patterns so his arrival time varies accordingly. He makes up the time so I don't complain too much, but I have talked to him before about planning better and coming in at a more consistent time. But everyone got an additional 1.5 hours to get here today. I don't see why anyone should be late unless they got into an accident (God forbid).

[whoisjohngalt]

If was an employee - I would simply inform you that I am late. 

Until I had kids I never knew what 6.30am looked like and certainly wouldn't be reading emails or whatnot from my supervisors.  Also, if it snowed, I preferred to be late as I didn't want to be on the road while everyone else is trying to get into work.

If I was the manager - I would be either writing up an employee or not saying anything.  It is not my job to teach time management/social skills/planning skills.

I would be forwarding mother's email to my supervisor and allow them to deal with it.  I would be not be responding at all

[andi9899]

I don't think you are. I do think the employee that got mommy involved is though. I don't know that I'd talk to her about it yet. If she is higher up than you, it could lead to some not so great things for you. I would talk to him though about planning like you said you were going to.

[MJ2.0]

1. it was a text. My associates don't have laptops so I wouldn't be sending them an email at 6:30am.

2. I would have rather he just said at maybe 9 that he was running late. But he took the time at 8:30 to say he had to dig the car out and attach a picture of the snow.

3. I think writing someone up before having a serious sit-down discussion with them is a bit unfair. I've mentioned to him about planning better before but not in a formal setting. I figure if I do it now and it continues, then I'll start documenting.

4. I'm supposed to be managing these people - why would I forward her email to my supervisor?

[Opti]

MJ, I don't know what I would do, but the weather.com forecast this morning

is almost identical to what I saw online last night before the Super bowl

started. Sounds like he was hoping for a day off and didn't plan to clear

his car off early. Looks like more rain than freezing rain here which is good

for everyone except those hoping for work to be canceled.

[Deleted]

Women always worry that they're being a (rhymes with rich) when they call someone out on bad behavior. It's held me back many times when I should have said something. No, you're not out of line.

I'd leave Mom out of it although having her call was a tacky move on his part. Let her manager deal with her lateness. Your employee reminds me of a guy I was working with on a special project that involved commuting into the NYC office from NJ for a few weeks. Every day he rushed in breathlessly about 15-20 minutes late. It was always something. Traffic was bad on the way to the train station so he missed the train to Hoboken he'd planned to take. The train got into Hoboken later than scheduled so he had to wait for a later PATH train to downtown.  Yadda, yadda.  I guess it was too much of a challenge for him to get up half an hour earlier. 

[NancysSummerSip]

A grown-up who gets his mommy involved in a work issue

I don't care if they worked together and drive in together. Heck, I don't care if the umbilical cord is still attached. It's just plain weird to get your mommy involved at this stage in your life. I'm creeped out just reading your post, MJ.

And yes, I live in a no-snow state, so shoot me for not understanding anything about winter weather. But when you have 24/7 access to weather on TV and online, to not plan for a storm or adverse condition is poor planning. Heck, I plan ahead for weather issues, and I'm in Florida. I even (OMG!) check traffic reports before I get on the road, to try and avoid accident back-ups. Yup...crazy, I know. Sucks to be responsible.

[billisonboard]

I think you are being a b1tch with that word meaning pointless complaining in this context. 

The person has established who he is as a worker and human being. You need to 1) accept that,  2) do serious work to change him, 3) fire or get him transferred. 

As far as the mommy text, I see the possibility he was digging, she assessed it was going to take longer than a 9:30 arrival allowed and so she texted rather than him stopping the work he was doing.

[TheOtherMe]

You are not being a bitch.  You are being a manager.

My manager knows that I rely on a commercial company to plow my driveway.  There is still a 4-5 ft drift so I can't get out.  She told me to stay home.  I've talked to the owner of the snow plowing company and this storm is a bitch.  Everybody has the drifts and it's taking him more time.  My street didn't get a plow until 7:30 AM. I normally leave at 6:45 AM.  If I could have gotten out of my drive, I couldn't have made it through the street until the plow went through.

The world is pretty much closed today around here.

When I was younger, I always got up early and shoveled myself out and allowed extra time to get to work.  It was very rare that our work was called off.  I would spend the morning taking phone calls from people much younger than me saying they couldn't get out of their driveways.  They lived all of 5 minutes from the office.  It drove management crazy.  One winter, I was given a day off without using any kind of leave because I made it on time in every snowstorm.  

The job I have now is a tax season job.  We are not yet very busy.  Last week, I was told not to come in one day and got sent home early every other day.  I think that contributed to my manager's understanding today.  I was probably going to get sent home early as our rush has not yet started.

[billisonboard]

Feb 2, 2015 10:22:15 GMT -5 @athena53 said:

... I guess it was too much of a challenge for him to get up half an hour earlier. 

Or to pass up that quickie with the barista on the way to work.

[MJ2.0]

Feb 2, 2015 10:22:15 GMT -5 @athena53 said:

Women always worry that they're being a (rhymes with rich) when they call someone out on bad behavior. It's held me back many times when I should have said something. No, you're not out of line.

I'd leave Mom out of it although having her call was a tacky move on his part. Let her manager deal with her lateness. Your employee reminds me of a guy I was working with on a special project that involved commuting into the NYC office from NJ for a few weeks. Every day he rushed in breathlessly about 15-20 minutes late. It was always something. Traffic was bad on the way to the train station so he missed the train to Hoboken he'd planned to take. The train got into Hoboken later than scheduled so he had to wait for a later PATH train to downtown.  Yadda, yadda.  I guess it was too much of a challenge for him to get up half an hour earlier. 

95% of the time that's exactly what this is.... to the point where we had his hours changed to 8:30-5. It seemed to do very little to solve anything long-term.

I just feel like if you want to be taken seriously as a hard-working employee in your own right, don't get your family involved. Especially when they are management.

[gooddecisions]

Time things are very hard for me to let go. I've always been on time and ticked off when others aren't. I've tried to loosen up about that over the years given that there just seems to be two different types of people on that.

Since you've let him get away with arriving inconsistently, he probably doesn't think it's a big deal. If you want it to change, you better come out and say, "the next time you're not here on time or early, I will write you up."

 If there are no consequences it won't change. Decide whether making up the time makes it okay. Lectures about time management do not help people who don't value being on time. Consequences do. It's not your problem he has a long commute. He chose a job with a long commute.

[MJ2.0]

TBH the little daily latenesses - while annoying - aren't the issue in this particular case. Hell, I tend to get in late especially when I have to prep and drop off DS to school/MIL's. It's the fact that everyone had extra time to dig themselves out and yet he still waiting until an hour before report time to start getting a move on. It takes him an hour in optimal weather with minimal traffic to get to work, so I don't know what he was thinking here.

[milee]

Feb 2, 2015 10:36:22 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

TBH the little daily latenesses - while annoying - aren't the issue in this particular case. Hell, I tend to get in late especially when I have to prep and drop off DS to school/MIL's. It's the fact that everyone had extra time to dig themselves out and yet he still waiting until an hour before report time to start getting a move on. It takes him an hour in optimal weather with minimal traffic to get to work, so I don't know what he was thinking here.

As a human, it makes sense that you're annoyed at his lack of planning, especially when everybody else handled it and you gave plenty of notice.  Vent here because we all agree this guy's a shmuck.

But IMHO gooddecision's post was spot on about how to look at it and handle it as a manager.  As a manager, this employee's issue isn't planning, notice, commute or anything else that happens outside the workplace... it's whether he is on time or not.  Simple. Binary.  Easy to explain and document.  Don't get drawn into the personal outside details - just make it about the simple requirement of being on time.

[tloonya]

Feb 2, 2015 9:55:46 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

I'd talk to his mother. I'd take the approach that I'm concerned she might not realize the impression she is giving of her son when she does things like that. Management at the company or not, no one looks good when their mommy calls in for them. As for the not planning ahead, he travels with his management mother. Kinda hard to make the argument that it will hold you back.

I am pretty sure 'mommy' knows about impression but don't care because her 'baby' is hers! And she will do it again and again and again.

[MJ2.0]

10:50 - still not here....

[tloonya]

Let's face it, MJ had been a b!tch.
Everyone knows (specially working in highly professional environment) that people are taking advantage of a snow to get relaxed at no fault of theirs. Once a year, common! We want to cozy up and not to wake up too early...is it a crime? Yeah, if your manager is a b!tch.

[moon/Laura]

yesterday, I expected an inch of snow to clear off before I came to work, based on the forecast. Reality was 6 inches. I still made it on time. No reason why he couldn't have, especially knowing it was already a delayed start. I'd be mad too.

[Deleted]

Feb 2, 2015 10:36:22 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

TBH the little daily latenesses - while annoying - aren't the issue in this particular case. Hell, I tend to get in late especially when I have to prep and drop off DS to school/MIL's. It's the fact that everyone had extra time to dig themselves out and yet he still waiting until an hour before report time to start getting a move on. It takes him an hour in optimal weather with minimal traffic to get to work, so I don't know what he was thinking here.

but if you have to dig yourself out and then dig out where the plow blocked the end of your driveway and then maybe reshower/change because you're sweating up a storm, I can see how that could take a while.

[tloonya]

Feb 2, 2015 10:49:28 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

10:50 - still not here....

How productive you are sitting there dwelling on when is he going to come to work?

[Deleted]

I use to be habitually late until I started working a job where the consequences for being late was the same as missing the whole day. And it's handled with formal procedure, so there's little to no wiggle room. I still don't get anywhere "on time", I'm always early.

If the forecast calls for snow or icy roads on a workday, I plan to leave home extra early if I think I can make it, or I just stay home. My area doesn't handle snow and ice that well because we don't get it often.

[moon/Laura]

Feb 2, 2015 10:54:48 GMT -5 @singlemominmd said:

Feb 2, 2015 10:36:22 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

TBH the little daily latenesses - while annoying - aren't the issue in this particular case. Hell, I tend to get in late especially when I have to prep and drop off DS to school/MIL's. It's the fact that everyone had extra time to dig themselves out and yet he still waiting until an hour before report time to start getting a move on. It takes him an hour in optimal weather with minimal traffic to get to work, so I don't know what he was thinking here.

but if you have to dig yourself out and then dig out where the plow blocked the end of your driveway and then maybe reshower/change because you're sweating up a storm, I can see how that could take a while.

a smart person does the labor BEFORE the shower.

[tloonya]

I live in a very closed neighborhood near major route that gets plowed right away.
However no one comes to take care of my little street until...whenever.
And if snow is heavy I am not going to kill myself just to come to work.
My Mom got massive heart attack trying to shovel. Be kind. It is not end of the world your work...
My managers used to say 'see for yourself if you can ok if you cant ok'.
Me telling my people 'see if you can make it to the store'...

[billisonboard]

Whoops, goofed up the format originally. Fixed per milee's request:

Feb 2, 2015 10:44:27 GMT -5 milee said:

Feb 2, 2015 10:36:22 GMT -5 MJ2.0 said:

... Hell, I tend to get in late ...

... just make it about the simple requirement of being on time.

That does not seem to be a requirement. At least not a strict one.

[HoneyBBQ]

Feb 2, 2015 10:52:22 GMT -5 tloonya said:

Let's face it, MJ had been a b!tch.
Everyone knows (specially working in highly professional environment) that people are taking advantage of a snow to get relaxed at no fault of theirs. Once a year, common! We want to cozy up and not to wake up too early...is it a crime? Yeah, if your manager is a b!tch.

Do you wake up every day and thank your lucky stars you are self employed?