gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 30, 2015 11:51:58 GMT -5
Funny story - in one training class for our call center, there was a girl that was a little heavier and always wore big sweatshirts. There was no real dress code for the call center so no one cared. Missing time during training was not allowed for any reason. I was teaching class and she mentioned to me that she wasnt feeling well, that her stomach hurt. I told her that she was free to go home, but that meant her spot in this class was done and she would have to suspend her file to wait for the next training class to come around. I told her the last half of the day would be pretty light, and I could make it as easy on her as possible if she just wanted to power through. I even offered to run & get her some pepto and crackers over lunch to help her make it through the day. She declined and left at lunch time (presumably to go get food for herself). Well, she didn't come back after lunch. I kept hoping she was just tardy, but after an hour I realized she wasn't coming back. Towards the end of the day, the call center manager came to pull me aside and say that her husband had called. She'd had the baby and wanted to know if she could come back to class the next week! ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/shocked.gif) she completely hid the fact that she was pregnant because she was scared she wouldn't get hired, and then sat in my class all morning long IN LABOR and didn't say anything! I felt so terrible. They held a spot for her in the next class to come around, which was about 3 months later. So it wasn't a paid leave but she got to come back. It's probably my hormones at it again, but this story has me in tears. It's a horrible society that makes a person feel that they need to hide pregnancy out of fear of job loss. I'm so glad she was able to keep her job. I worked through a bit of labor as well, but that was my decision and when I was finally ready to go the hospital, my boss told me "god bless." I barely made it to the hospital with only enough time to rip off my clothes and grab my ankles.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 29, 2015 22:55:12 GMT -5
Lying in bed with my baby all day was far less demanding than making my brain work at my desk job. And yes, sitting hurt. I birthed a 9.5 oz baby with no pain meds. I had stitches and horribly painful hemorrhoids to say the least. My brain was okay the first couple of weeks and then it turned to mush. Hormones affect people differently and mine impact my recall and ability to speak articulately. Yeah, I would have been a warm body in a seat, but that's about it. I'm so grateful that my employer/managers didn't have unrealistic expectations of postpartum recovery. I feel bad for anyone who works for somebody with the attitude of it was easy for me, so it should be easy for you and anybody it's not easy for is making it up!
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 28, 2015 21:47:00 GMT -5
Worse than the marriage penalty is the no kids penalty. No dependant deduction. No child care deduction. No education expense/education savings deduction. What do you get? Taxes to support the schools your non-kids don't go to (30% of our property taxes). Taxes to support the parks and rec programs your non-kids don't particiapte in. Taxes to support the low income breakfast, lunch, and school break feeding programs that your non-kids won't benefit from. The expectation that you will cover the work of the parent who is at parent/teacher conferences. The expectation that you will make sure that the project with the tight deadline is completed while the parent picks up their child from day care before it closes and goes home. The expectation that you will cover the work of the parent who is at home with a sick child. The expectation that you will cover the work of the parent on maternity leave/parental bonding leave/new adoption leave. A smaller pay check so that your employer can provide a bigger medical care subsidy for employees raising families/subsidize on site child care facilities/sick child nursing programs/adoption assistance/fertility treatments, and the like. Seems like a pretty high price to pay to support the lifestyle decisions that other people make. Why don't you use your parks and rec programs? I play on the adult softball league, pack picnics for the park, go running in the parks, go to the festivals and concert series and even take a few fun classes a year. I go to the library every week and check out books. I love the county programs! ETA- just reviewed the winter program guide and they even off free tax return services with volunteers from AARP! I've also played on the public golf courses. I can even take a 1/week 90 minute cooking class for 4 weeks for a whopping $12.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 25, 2015 22:43:08 GMT -5
I've played and coached dozens and dozens of sports, and the attitude of the MVP makes a huge difference, at least when it comes to girls/women's sports. I can't speak for men's sports. Players will sit out and insist the MVP play the entire game when she is a really good person with a great attitude.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 25, 2015 22:30:56 GMT -5
Regardless, if a school doesn't have cuts and allows 47 kids to join a single team with one side, then the competitive kid will have to adapt and go with the flow. She/he can still be serious and play hard, but is going to have to be a good sport when it comes to sharing the playing time. Nobody deserves to play the whole game if that's not the culture.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 25, 2015 22:22:45 GMT -5
Just to be clear, are we talking about 4th graders or 8th graders?
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 25, 2015 21:18:44 GMT -5
In youth leagues that you simply sign up and pay to play on, I think it should be pretty equal. In elementary and middle school, if you made the team, you should get to play. In high school (specifically teams for the high school, not necessarily community leagues you pay to play and have no cuts), all bets are off. Play the b-side in the games that either don't matter or sub them in when you have a good lead. Do teams not have cuts anymore? Why are people on the team if they are terrible and don't care?
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 21, 2015 18:31:47 GMT -5
In fact, my 3 year old has a devise right now while I'm on mine and I'm feeling pretty dag-on lazy. I think we'll put on a coat and go outside to look at the giant moon.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 21, 2015 18:08:28 GMT -5
If I wanted to be a lazy, drunk parent, I'd just give them a devise and keep them inside. No safety issues, no busy bodies judging, no po-po and I could get as black-out drunk as I wanted. Why would I tell them to go play at the park. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/huh.gif)
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 21, 2015 17:07:39 GMT -5
I wouldn't think it was strange at all to see kids (a 10 year old with a 6 year old, for example) repeatedly walking to the playground a few blocks away to play for 1-2 hours. I would think it was great and refreshing. I'm not impressed with today's reality of overly supervised kids who are content to be inside playing on devises all day. And, I'm even less impressed with busy-bodies who call the police.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 21, 2015 8:52:56 GMT -5
I bought the all-in-one, go anywhere snack cup with lid and straw, by Snackeez. I bought it as a fun, road trip thing for my 3 year old a couple of weeks ago. She loves it and we haven't had any problems. I don't expect it to last forever.
ETA- got it at the grocery store, not by ordering from the number on the t.v. and paying $20 for shipping and handling.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 20, 2015 16:52:12 GMT -5
Did you talk to a real person and then another real person at a different company for a second opinion? Yep. 120% is the rule. We wanted to be conservative in our estimate of how much the house is worth. Well that was a mistake. You don't have to be conservative in "your" estimate of how much the house is worth. You could have told them $168K and let them figure out the rest. If they need a desktop valuation to confirm, they'll get one. If they don't, you're good. I would call another lender.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 20, 2015 14:57:22 GMT -5
VA streamline is a no go, at least until I get the mortgage down to 168,000. Dang. Did you talk to a real person and then another real person at a different company for a second opinion?
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 19, 2015 23:28:00 GMT -5
My parents retired 13 years ago at 55. They stopped dying their hair, which did sort of age them, but they are in great shape. At 68 and 70, they are more active than ever, in better shape than ever and more social than ever. They have a great life of sports, travel and an active social calendar, almost no time for me or grand kids. But, I'm really happy for them.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 19, 2015 23:13:00 GMT -5
I have a few female friends who are in their late 60s and they look amazing. They are in amazing shape, dress very stylish and keep their hair colored and youthful. I never ask about their skin care, but I think they are doing something because they don't look even 50. I would love to be just like them, but I'm lazy and too cheap for expensive skin care procedures. All I will commit to is dying my hair when it finally turns gray and staying in shape.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 19, 2015 16:51:58 GMT -5
Oh wow, I just read the conversation and it's so awkward. I would have told my kid that since he committed to going to the party, he had to go. But, I am very big on following through on commitments. I'm sure telling the host mom he wanted to hang out with grandma and grandpa instead pissed her off even more. The lesson she wanted him to learn is to follow through on commitments. Why was that so hard for the no-shows mom to see? That said, I never hold it against no-shows. Crap happens.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 19, 2015 16:35:22 GMT -5
I loved having lots of kids to be friends with in the neighborhood I grew up-- there were 2-3 kids in every house. As an adult, I am still friends with a lot of them and not just on facebook, in real life. And, I love having that for my kids now. If I had no kids, I'd probably live in the city and choose urban over suburban.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 19, 2015 8:13:03 GMT -5
Hard to refinance when it's 50k under water... That was the whole reason the home affordable refinance act (HARP) was created in 2009 and is still available through 2015- to give people who are current on their mortgage payments a way to refinance to today's low rates. It works like any other refinance, just without the appraisal. Since I think she said this is a VA loan, it won't qualify. But, she needs to look into VA Streamline Refinance. Same concept, but for VA loans.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 18, 2015 20:33:22 GMT -5
If it were me, I'd bump rent up to $1000. If they accept great, if they don't- even better because you can get tenants in that will pay $1400. Stop paying the extra $125 immediately and start stashing that money in your brokerage account or even Roth if that's not maxed. Shop for a lower homeowners insurance. And, definitely talk to a mortgage company about a lower rate. Good luck!
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 18, 2015 17:59:22 GMT -5
So you can't sell anywhere near your mortgage owed. Which means you'd have to do a short sale or foreclosure. So if you're serious on selling I'd stop throwing extra good money after bad. Actually I'd probably stop either way and start putting it in savings, more cash gives you options. Your loss is only 5100 a year, you're choosing to lose the extra 1500. Is the rent market value? Ahem, you don't get a short sale or foreclosure just because you owe more than the home will sell. Prior to the housing crisis, in this scenario- the sellers brought money to closing.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 7, 2015 17:28:42 GMT -5
18K each into 401(k), $3350 in my HSA, $6,650 in his HSA, $5K in each kid's 529 and shoot for $30K in the brokerage account. Are you not married? I'm on an individual plan and he's on an employee with child(ren) plan. It's possible, we've screwed that up, but the rules aren't super clear when we're both on separate employer-sponsored HDHPs and one has the kids and one doesn't. I guess we'll find out. Last year, I had a traditional plan with the kids and he had an individual HDHP w/ HSA. So this is the first year we've both had HSAs and kids to consider. Still time to fix it if that's not how it works.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 7, 2015 16:56:01 GMT -5
18K each into 401(k), $3350 in my HSA, $6,650 in his HSA, $5K in each kid's 529 and shoot for $30K in the brokerage account.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 7, 2015 14:15:46 GMT -5
Seems a little more reasonable than what McDonnell tried to get away with and is now serving 2 years.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 7, 2015 12:21:40 GMT -5
I have a large 3 story house, but no basement, no attic and park 2 cars in the 2 car garage- no other cars allowed because they would block the garage door and I don't want to play musical chairs with the cars. I refuse to turn a room into storage and refuse to have a bunch of seasonal stuff hanging around. If it doesn't have an appropriate space year round, it goes or doesn't get purchased to begin with. I hate clutter.
I only want to store clothes and shoes in the closets and they must go in the closet of the room you occupy. I have two kids and no overages are allowed- either for parents or for kids. If we don't wear the clothes or outgrow the clothes, they go, with the exception of the oldest kid's clothes get moved to the youngest kid's closet until they are outgrown by her. I redid all the bedroom closets to maximize space.
We did build a really nice tool shed to store the lawn equipment and tools since the cars are in the garage. The shelves in the garage are reserved for sporting equipment. My Christmas decorations are limited to lights, ribbon and ornaments that must fit into one medium size container. The tree and reef must be real so I don't have to store them. I'm a real hardass when it comes to stuff.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 6, 2015 13:06:05 GMT -5
yes, I work for benefits and daycare expenses. As someone else said, it isn't "for nothing."
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 6, 2015 12:43:14 GMT -5
It depends on the area, but tellers notoriously don't get paid well and are pretty similar to other cashier jobs. I would expect $10-13/hour or around $25K/year. From that salary, 6.2% comes out for social security and 1.45% for medicare. If you sign up for health, dental and/or eye insurance, more comes out. You might be taking home nothing, but yes- it is possible for you to max out a 401K on that salary.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 5, 2015 22:29:18 GMT -5
I would love to have a pool in the backyard to extend the pool season, which is only memorial day to labor day. But, we were also convinced it would be too much of a chore and risk, so bought in a neighborhood with a pool. It's still convenient, there are lifeguards and it only costs the HOA fee, which was comparable to neighborhoods without pools and cheaper than a membership at a private pool.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 5, 2015 15:13:08 GMT -5
I went to a spa day once because it's what my friend wanted to do for her birthday. I hated the whole experience. I would have much rather been, dressed up with make-up at happy hour sipping on something fancy and gossiping without being interrupted with treatments. Instead, I had no make-up, hair up, looked like crap, kept being interrupted and left not feeling like I was up-to-date with everything going on in my friends' lives. My friend raved about it and tried to get us to sign-up for monthly massage and facial treatments. So, I know this is my issue since some people actually like this sort of thing.
That said, if that's what you like to do, why should I judge. I'm not superior or inferior because I choose to spend my time and money elsewhere. If my daughters beg me for an experience, then maybe I'll set my biases aside and consider it. But I definitely won't be offering to sign them up for manicures, pedicures, facials or massages.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 5, 2015 12:14:15 GMT -5
Reminds me of a stop with a friend of mine who was driving. My friend brake-checked that asshole, and predictably got pulled over and was ticketed for reckless. He filed a counter complaint for tailgating, and threatening with a vehicle. It worked. They dropped the ticket in exchange for him dropping his complaint. Everyone gets the breaks but me. I actually went to jail for that. Since it was written as reckless, I had to go to court. When I tried to explain myself, the judge told me what I had to say was "bologna". He said obviously I was trying to get the car in front of me to move over so I could drive even faster. He suspended my license for 6 months, fined me $500 and threw me in jail. Not one of my happier memories. Anytime I've told this story, people think I must have been drunk or mouthed off to the cop or judge. Nope, I was very respectful and just have bad luck. This punishment was more severe than drunk drivers got (at least in 2001) and I had no idea I should have shown up to court with a lawyer for keeping up with traffic on a congested interstate- bumper to bumper big rigs in the right lane and bumper to bumper cars driving 80 MPH in the left lane. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/sad.png)
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jan 5, 2015 12:00:57 GMT -5
Even if he is building his savings up and I am depleting mine, it will still be awhile before they are equal. So, in that sense, I almost feel bad taking money from him. I know my savings won't last forever though, but my dilemma then becomes should I ask for a salary now? Or should I wait until things even out? Neither of us are frivolous spenders. Although I do find comfort in knowing I have a nest egg and safety net... Why are your savings depleting if you're living off his income? If you agreed that you're a single income household, then live off the single income and have your savings "forever." Personally, I'd move the bulk of that savings over to a brokerage account so it wouldn't be so tempting to raid. If you are not able to live off his income, then re-work the budget until you are. If it were me, I'd use a joint credit card for everything and have him pay it off each month- then no deposit or "salary" is necessary. Gas, groceries, clothing, activities, whatever goes on the credit card. But, then, I don't use cash or debit card for anything- even a $2 purchase. If you must have a little cash around, have him give you $100/month.
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