milee
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Post by milee on Oct 4, 2014 7:13:27 GMT -5
Last night we were out to dinner at a neighborhood Italian restaurant. Good place - the kind where they make their own mozzarella, hand roll their own pasta and the smell of sauce wafts through the tiny dining area. Anyway, when I went to read the menu, there were no prices. Weird, never seen that before at this place. They had handed me a menu that said "Ladies Menu" on the cover and instead of having prices, there was a picture of a rose where the price should be. Hm.
It was weird, but I decided to go with it. Strange and interesting to order with no clue what the price of things were. Fantastic food and great experience, but again, odd at the end not having any clue what the total bill came to.
I've only seen this once before and that was years ago. How often have you encountered this? How do you feel about it?
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Oct 4, 2014 7:16:21 GMT -5
I have never seen that. But out that's what you get when you only go to restaurants where you order from the display boards behind the counter.
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Oct 4, 2014 7:17:14 GMT -5
But I don't like it. I want to know the cost of everything. And what of I'm paying the bill?
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Oct 4, 2014 7:20:52 GMT -5
It would probably be OK on a date but I am long past that so I want to see the prices, lol.
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Nazgul Girl
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Oct 4, 2014 7:24:20 GMT -5
" Ladies' Menu ? " First, it's sexist, second, it's dated, and third, I'd have left. Just give me the price, and either my husband or I will buy the rose.
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haapai
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Post by haapai on Oct 4, 2014 7:30:19 GMT -5
I've heard of them.
My mother did not like them. I think that after it happened a couple of times, my dad wised up at ritzy places and made sure that nothing like that was ever handed to her again.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Oct 4, 2014 7:35:54 GMT -5
Yeah, it's "sexist", who cares? I am teaching my sons to be "sexist" to hold doors open for women, to pay for the dates and so forth. Sheesh.
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teen persuasion
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Post by teen persuasion on Oct 4, 2014 7:50:24 GMT -5
Yeah, it's "sexist", who cares? I am teaching my sons to be "sexist" to hold doors open for women, to pay for the dates and so forth. Sheesh. No, Shooby, it's sexist because it makes it clear that ladies shouldn't bother their pretty little heads about the prices, AKA money. That's for the men to deal with. Blech.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2014 8:02:53 GMT -5
It's common here in fancy restaurants. I think it's ridiculous.
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Nazgul Girl
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Oct 4, 2014 8:07:12 GMT -5
Yeah, it's "sexist", who cares? I am teaching my sons to be "sexist" to hold doors open for women, to pay for the dates and so forth. Sheesh. I care. Sheesh. So there ya go.
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Nazgul Girl
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Oct 4, 2014 8:08:17 GMT -5
Yeah, it's "sexist", who cares? I am teaching my sons to be "sexist" to hold doors open for women, to pay for the dates and so forth. Sheesh. No, Shooby, it's sexist because it makes it clear that ladies shouldn't bother their pretty little heads about the prices, AKA money. That's for the men to deal with. Blech. What she said !
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bobosensei
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Post by bobosensei on Oct 4, 2014 8:14:48 GMT -5
I've been to plenty of country clubs where I got a "guest" menu. Same idea, and I don't mind.
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alabamagal
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Post by alabamagal on Oct 4, 2014 8:55:53 GMT -5
Was there someone in your party that had the menu with the prices?
If I got a menu like that and DH got the one with prices, I wouldn't be able to stand it and I would ask to switch with him. I don't think he ever worries about the cost of things and I do.
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justme
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Post by justme on Oct 4, 2014 9:00:37 GMT -5
I've heard of it, never seen it. If I was out with friends or something where I'm paying for myself it'd annoy me. I often choose items based on price and I definitely keep in mind the total bill. Now, on a date I might not mind it. Gives me an excuse for ordering something expense - I thought they all were the same price since there was no price!
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Ombud
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Post by Ombud on Oct 4, 2014 9:01:56 GMT -5
I am teaching my sons to be "sexist" to hold doors open for women, to pay for the dates and so forth. Sheesh.
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Peace77
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Post by Peace77 on Oct 4, 2014 9:18:41 GMT -5
I would ask for a different menu with prices in it. When I can't decide what I want, I pick the less expensive option.
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Oct 4, 2014 9:28:07 GMT -5
I've heard of them. My mother did not like them. I think that after it happened a couple of times, my dad wised up at ritzy places and made sure that nothing like that was ever handed to her again. Sexism can be more overt or more subtle.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2014 9:38:45 GMT -5
I've heard of it but have never encountered one. I'd definitely ask for one with prices. I try not to dither over getting what I want just because it's $2 more, but I'm a practical person and I want to know what it will cost. If it's $8 more, then maybe I don't want it that much.
OTOH, I like the idea of a "Guest menu". It's non-sexist and if you're picking up the check and don't want your guest to know what you spent (and want them to get what they want, not just the cheapest thing on the menu), it's a good idea. I remember taking a guy out to dinner (celebrating my passing an actuarial exam) and when the check came he put on his glasses and tried to read the total. I told him not to worry his pretty little head about it!
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Oct 4, 2014 9:52:11 GMT -5
""No, Shooby, it's sexist because it makes it clear that ladies shouldn't bother their pretty little heads about the prices, AKA money. That's for the men to deal with. Blech""
Really? We need to find reasons to always be bitchy and offended? Is life really that miserable?
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milee
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Post by milee on Oct 4, 2014 10:00:05 GMT -5
I've been to plenty of country clubs where I got a "guest" menu. Same idea, and I don't mind. IMHO, that's a little bit of a different situation. At most country clubs, the guest is not able to pay for the meal so the guest is always there at the invite of the host and the host will by definition be paying for the meal. The host can be a man, woman or child - it's just a role that's assumed by the member of the club.
The thing I found odd (and frankly didn't like but wasn't going to choose to make an issue of it at this place) was the assumption that women were always a guest dependent on a man to pay for them and that was the only possible role for a woman.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Oct 4, 2014 10:01:43 GMT -5
Who gets the 'Lady's Menu' when it is two women dining together?
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Oct 4, 2014 10:04:23 GMT -5
Nobody. It's on the house.
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milee
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Post by milee on Oct 4, 2014 10:06:14 GMT -5
Was there someone in your party that had the menu with the prices? If I got a menu like that and DH got the one with prices, I wouldn't be able to stand it and I would ask to switch with him. I don't think he ever worries about the cost of things and I do. The funny (well, to be honest irritating, but again, I chose not to be irritated and to go with it) thing was that all the males at the table - DH, My 14 year old son and even my 10 year old son - got menus with prices on them. So a 10 year old gets the man menu with prices and I got the "Ladies Menu" with no prices...
When I first looked at the menu, I couldn't quite tell what the roses were and thought the prices were just written in tiny, messy print. So I reluctantly got my glasses out of my purse. You know it had to be bad for me to want to wear them in public. Anyway, as soon as the glasses were on I could clearly see that no, there were no prices, just the roses. Then I turned the menu over to see the cover and noticed the "Ladies Menu" title. Leaning over to my 10 year old, I could see he got a regular Man menu with prices. Like you, my first reaction was to be annoyed and want to switch because I'm usually the one in the family most concerned with cost. But then, I thought about how that would throw the beginning of the meal conversation off course and even possibly make the meal odd given that we were surrounded by the family of the owner, and decided to try ordering with no prices as an experiment. The results of the experiment were that in one way it was freeing to not know the prices but in other ways I still remained very irritated about the paternalistic assumptions.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2014 10:10:32 GMT -5
I am teaching my sons to be "sexist" to hold doors open for women, to pay for the dates and so forth. Sheesh. so when your daughter goes on dates you expect to never pay?
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Oct 4, 2014 10:19:05 GMT -5
... all the males at the table - DH, My 14 year old son and even my 10 year old son - got menus with prices on them. ... Like you, my first reaction was to be annoyed and want to switch because I'm usually the one in the family most concerned with cost. But then, I thought about how that would throw the beginning of the meal conversation off course ... My thought is "What a great conversation to have with a couple of young males." It is important for them to realize that they need to prepare themselves to deal with the issue of 'man as wallet' that women like Shooby are training.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Oct 4, 2014 10:21:38 GMT -5
I've run into this quite a few times over the years. It's much more common in Europe than in the US. It's usually seen at high-end restaurants in larger cities, but I can see it being done in any restaurant run by Europeans. It surprised me the first time I saw it, but that was many years ago and the gentleman I was with explained it to me. It doesn't bother me, really. I've got enough bigger things to worry about.
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milee
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Post by milee on Oct 4, 2014 10:26:22 GMT -5
It's much more common in Europe than in the US. It's usually seen at high-end restaurants in larger cities, but I can see it being done in any restaurant run by Europeans. Yes, and this family is Italian, moved here from Italy only a few years ago. I assumed part of it was a cultural difference... part of why I decided to roll with it and not comment.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Oct 4, 2014 10:39:53 GMT -5
... all the males at the table - DH, My 14 year old son and even my 10 year old son - got menus with prices on them. ... Like you, my first reaction was to be annoyed and want to switch because I'm usually the one in the family most concerned with cost. But then, I thought about how that would throw the beginning of the meal conversation off course ... My thought is "What a great conversation to have with a couple of young males." It is important for them to realize that they need to prepare themselves to deal with the issue of 'man as wallet' that women like Shooby are training. Thats ignorant. Not sure why it is alright for him to insult me?
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Oct 4, 2014 10:42:24 GMT -5
Yeah, it's "sexist", who cares? I am teaching my sons to be "sexist" to hold doors open for women, to pay for the dates and so forth. Sheesh. I care. and I'm a woman. it's sexist. The problem isn't so much the menu with out prices - it's the "Ladies Menu" emblazoned across the front of it as the OP said it was.
It's sexist because - would the restaurant hand the "Ladies Menu" to another MAN sitting at the table with the host who was going to pay for the dinner but had made it clear he was treating his guests and didn't want them to worry about prices?
A Ladies Menu seems to imply that the person paying for the dinner doesn't want the person receiving such a menu to "worry their pretty little head" about the cost.
I wouldn't be offended by a "Guest Menu" without prices. But a menu clearly labeled "Ladies Menu" would make me uncomfortable...
It's not sexist to teach your sons to hold open doors for women... I'm HOPING you're teaching them the rest of the courtesies involved with holding open doors - like holding them open for ANYONE who might have problems getting the door open (old man with a cane and feeble steps? Any guy with a handful of stuff? so NOT just women) OR just holding it open because they are in a position to do so - thus making it a nice courteous gesture for those going thru the doors.
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tallguy
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Post by tallguy on Oct 4, 2014 10:46:00 GMT -5
Technically he didn't insult you. He insulted 'women like you.' And for good reason.
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