Why are people so ugly to each other?

[Firebird]

Why are people so willing to be evil and cruel and unkind and just plain ugly to each other?

No good answers here but maybe you people will have some.

[Peace Of Mind]

Aug 19, 2014 23:56:29 GMT -5 Firebird said:

Why are people so willing to be evil and cruel and unkind and just plain ugly to each other?

No good answers here but maybe you people will have some.

I personally would like more details but since there aren't any I'll guess that they are constipated or just need to get laid. 

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

People are becoming more emotionally detached today. They don't care if they say or do something that will hurt someone else.

A person like that is usually unhappy with themselves or their own situation - so they want to make someone else feel worse in order to make themselves feel better - but it never solves whatever was bothering them to begin with.

And then you have two unappy people.

[truthbound]

Aug 19, 2014 23:56:29 GMT -5 Firebird said:

Why are people so willing to be evil and cruel and unkind and just plain ugly to each other?

No good answers here but maybe you people will have some.

Yes there is a good answer. Because the internets allow the folks who live in their grandmas' basements a way to anonymously say things that would get their their tickets punched in real life.

[milee]

Aug 20, 2014 4:20:51 GMT -5 truthbound said:

Aug 19, 2014 23:56:29 GMT -5 Firebird said:

Why are people so willing to be evil and cruel and unkind and just plain ugly to each other?

No good answers here but maybe you people will have some.

Yes there is a good answer. Because the internets allow the folks who live in their grandmas' basements a way to anonymously say things that would get their their tickets punched in real life.

Yup.  Grandma's calling you, you should go see what she wants.

[happyhoix]

I read an article a while ago about narcissists that said fifty years ago maybe 2 - 3 percent of the population displayed this personality disorder, while now we're at maybe 10% and increasing. I think this is partly to blame for so much nasty behavior. One of my sisters is a narcissist and she is a constant source of unhappiness and drama in the family. She finds offense at virtually everything everyone else says and does, both inside the family and at her job, and when she perceives she's been insulted (which happens pretty much on a daily basis) she launches into a nasty melt down. However, should the recipients of one of her melt downs return the vitriol, she comes unglued and has an even uglier melt down. It's like living around a volcano, always expecting it to erupt.

I think also, as a society, we're over worked and stressed out, and that doesn't help, either.

[Opti]

Aug 19, 2014 23:56:29 GMT -5 Firebird said:

Why are people so willing to be evil and cruel and unkind and just plain ugly to each other?

No good answers here but maybe you people will have some.

So, ... what happened to inspire this thread?

[giramomma]

Aug 19, 2014 23:58:45 GMT -5 @missmargarita said:

I think it has more to do with something going on with the person who is being mean/ugly/cruel... They're unhappy and are taking it out on others.

I think this. Or they need to feel better about themselves or superior to others for some reason.  I know sometimes, I used to watch super nanny, to feel better about myself as a parent.

Or some people feel the need to stick their nose in other people's business when it isn't even appropriate to do so.

And, then there is the who mental illness aspect.

 

[Opti]

Aug 20, 2014 7:21:48 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Aug 19, 2014 23:58:45 GMT -5 @missmargarita said:

I think it has more to do with something going on with the person who is being mean/ugly/cruel... They're unhappy and are taking it out on others.

I think this. Or they need to feel better about themselves or superior to others for some reason.  I know sometimes, I used to watch super nanny, to feel better about myself as a parent.

Or some people feel the need to stick their nose in other people's business when it isn't even appropriate to do so.

And, then there is the who mental illness aspect.

 

I think mental illness is blamed for far too many things.

My guess, is if it was studied, it occurs no more or less

than in the general population. (i.e. PITAs to assholes)

The most annoying PITA complainers at my PT job are usually

mentally there - both visitors and patients. Those same people

generally intersect with the class of people who treat the staff

badly. FWIW. YMMV. May not be true in all cultures or universes.

[ArchietheDragon]

Life is a war.   You have to win the battles every day to succeed.  

[ZaireinHD]

some people just don't like another person and they choose to express those feelings

[giramomma]

Aug 20, 2014 7:27:36 GMT -5 Opti said:

I think mental illness is blamed for far too many things.

My guess, is if it was studied, it occurs no more or less

than in the general population. (i.e. PITAs to assholes)

The most annoying PITA complainers at my PT job are usually

mentally there - both visitors and patients. Those same people

generally intersect with the class of people who treat the staff

badly. FWIW. YMMV. May not be true in all cultures or universes.

My mother is likely borderline.

She can also be super charming. I have people asking how she is years after after conversing with her for an hour.

Mom and I did a mom/daughter weekend once. The woman leading the class told us how special/wonderful  our relationship was. The woman did not hear my mother calling me a b*tch under her breath when we were out of earshot from the teacher, or witness my mother threatening to kick me out of her car, my only source of transportation. I was pregnant, it was dark, and we were in a rural area, where roads were not lit. And because it was extremely rural, my cell phone did work.

You can't tell who's mentally sound and who isn't with everyone by casual contact.

Mental illnesses/addictions affect more of the population than you think. NAMI cites that 1 in 4 adults will experience an mental health disorder within  a given year. Of course the percentage of mental illnesses that are more serious is quite a bit less than that.

They think my DH's addiction affects 10%-15% of the population.

Actually, it think it's rare that people aren't dealing with something somehow.

[NoNamePerson]

Aug 20, 2014 0:24:48 GMT -5 ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ said:

People are becoming more emotionally detached today. They don't care if they say or do something that will hurt someone else.

A person like that is usually unhappy with themselves or their own situation - so they want to make someone else feel worse in order to make themselves feel better - but it never solves whatever was bothering them to begin with.

And then you have two unappy people.

I disagree. If someone is ugly to me I just consider the source and go on my merry, happy way. No POS is gonna ruin my day or set the tone for me. So just ONE unhappy person still unhappy with themselves.

[raeoflyte]

I think it depends on the situation. My clients can be very busy and stressed out when they need my services, and as one of them told me, getting a mortgage is like going to the proctologist. So I chalk a lot of ugliness up to people running on empty and just trying to get through their day.

That's run of the mill ugliness. People who are habitually awful I have to agree with mental illness and my money is on npd.

Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards

[zibazinski]

I think a lot of people's lives just suck and they feel they never catch a break or if they finally do, it gets spoiled somehow.

[Opti]

Aug 20, 2014 7:53:02 GMT -5 giramomma said:

My mother is likely borderline.

She can also be super charming. I have people asking how she is years after after conversing with her for an hour.

Mom and I did a mom/daughter weekend once. The woman leading the class told us how special/wonderful  our relationship was. The woman did not hear my mother calling me a b*tch under her breath when we were out of earshot from the teacher, or witness my mother threatening to kick me out of her car, my only source of transportation. I was pregnant, it was dark, and we were in a rural area, where roads were not lit. And because it was extremely rural, my cell phone did work.

You can't tell who's mentally sound and who isn't with everyone by casual contact. Agreed.

Mental illnesses/addictions affect more of the population than you think. NAMI cites that 1 in 4 adults will experience an mental health disorder within  a given year. Of course the percentage of mental illnesses that are more serious is quite a bit less than that. Than I think? No.

They think my DH's addiction affects 10%-15% of the population.

Actually, it think it's rare that people aren't dealing with something somehow.

Borderline what?

The formatting is going crazy on me so I will stop trying to comment by the text.

I am very aware of the types of mental illness and the extent in the population.

I have done extensive reading and I work in a facility with a population that

has issues and have lots of personal experience as well.

People like to say mentally ill forgetting it is an umbrella term like physically ill.

We don't say all people who are physically ill are more likely to be bleeding than

those who are not, because it is a stupid thought and comparison.

Do you really think depressedpeople, i.e. mentally ill DSM categorized people

are more ugly to others than average ?  My guess is they are actually less likely

to be so. Yet a narcisst is more likely to be an asshole and be able to charm

some and treat others like shit. Narcissim is not a treatable DSM category, so in

my humble but well-read opinion it should not be seen as "mental illness" the broad

category which should again IMO should only encompass those mental illnesses

that could get one sent to the mental hospital.

So Depression, Schizophrenia, Catatonic, etc

Not Narcissim, Asperberger's, etc.

Plus you have the whole category of physically induced changes

in mental status like brain injuries, drug effects, etc. that are

actually assholes by physical illness that l

ay people and those

not paying attention will incorrectly lump into the broad brush

of mental illness. (Will fix editing and dumb ass key jumping later.)

[Opti]

Aug 20, 2014 8:16:52 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I think it depends on the situation. My clients can be very busy and stressed out when they need my services, and as one of them told me, getting a mortgage is like going to the proctologist. So I chalk a lot of ugliness up to people running on empty and just trying to get through their day.

That's run of the mill ugliness. People who are habitually awful I have to agree with mental illness and my money is on npd.

Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards

What?

If someone is an ass it has to be a mental illness and not a personal choice?

I stand by my assertion.

People make way too many assumptions about what mental illness is and is not.

[mrnewengland]

There are awful people in this world.  People that are just sh!tty and mean.

There are also some incredible people in this world.  Kind, funny, clever, good people.  

I think the problem is that the assholes are more visible.  And in some cases people seek them out.

I try to live my life by the mantra "be the good in the world" and I think karma is a real thing because I have great things happen to me (some just call it luck).  Sure I see the bad out there but I try to ignore it.  I try to focus on all the good there is out there - and believe me there's a lot of it.  

[sheilaincali]

In my brother's case he is lonely, depressed, paranoid and has zero self esteem. But he overcompensates for that by being a bully.  The things that come out of his mouth still shock me and by now I should just be used to it.  He says vile things to everything that he thinks he can bully- customers, employees, venders, my parents, myself, random strangers, etc. 

 

[sheilaincali]

I do agree though that having the ability to hide behind a random screen name on an message board empowers people to say (or type) more than they would in RL to someone's face. I know I have been more snarky to some posters in the past (Doxie) than I would have been to their face.

[Opti]

My biggest issue is the medical community and most people

use the term mental illness differently than they do physical illness.

We don't see a person with freckles and say they have a physical

illness of spotted melanoma. But because narcissism and similar

thought disorders, or ways of being are in the DSM, people choose

to see it as an actual illness versus a medical lobby's way of getting

money to treat things. Hysteria was a mental illness. Homosexuality

was a mental illness. Perhaps someday being a punk or a goth will

be listed as a mental illness along with being a narcisst. It seems

outrageous to me to keep widening the definition because of the money

and it makes some people feel better.

Much of mental illness isn't really illness except in the obsolete dictionary

definition here:

www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/illness

Full Definition of ILLNESS


1

obsolete

a : wickedness

b : unpleasantness

2

a : an unhealthy condition of body or mind

b : sickness 2

See illness defined for English-language learners »


See illness defined for kids »


Examples of ILLNESS

Her body was not able to defend itself against illness.
Hundreds of soldiers died from illness and hunger.
He showed no signs of illness.
Scientists have not yet found a cure for this illness.
cancer, diabetes, and other illnesses
She died at the age of 60 after a brief illness.

Who really dies of the illness of homosexuality or narcissim?

[Shooby]

I don't think people are necessarily meaner. I think that there are a LOT of people who find a way to take OFFENSE at anything and everything that is said and somehow make it about themselves and view every comment as a "judgment" on their lives. If is say, "I like the color blue". Then immediately, there are people who become "offended" by such a comment and then dogpile you about how you are "disrespecting red" or "what's wrong with orange" or how can you say such a thing, yada , yada. Every comment is analyzed and interpreted to be a comment on THEIR lives no matter what the comment is about.

[Deleted]

I wonder what the context is. I think there are different reasons for being mean to someone you know or being mean about a certain stereotype of people, or just being out for you and yours and hurting people peripherally.

[Deleted]

Aug 20, 2014 8:45:48 GMT -5 Shooby said:

I don't think people are necessarily meaner. I think that there are a LOT of people who find a way to take OFFENSE at anything and everything...

I think that 's another way of saying folks don't put up with as much crap as they used to. Folks are fighting back against the ones that have been mean all along.

[ZaireinHD]

the love is no longer there! the relationship has turned beyond sour. the movie War of the Roses!
what was once a passionate and caring situation has turned into hatred
that bad boy is really a bad guy.

[Shooby]

"I think that 's another way of saying folks don't put up with as much crap as they used to. Folks are fighting back against the ones that have been mean all along."

Saying "I like blue", doesn't then automatically mean it is an "insult" to red lovers.

[Deleted]

War of the Roses was awesome.  LOL

[Deleted]

Aug 20, 2014 8:51:12 GMT -5 Shooby said:

"I think that 's another way of saying folks don't put up with as much crap as they used to. Folks are fighting back against the ones that have been mean all along."

Saying "I like blue", doesn't then automatically mean it is an "insult" to red lovers.

In a lot of situations it does. Often the whole thought is "I like blue, I don't like red and I'm going to exclude red whenever I can". If you really don't mean any insult when you are told a red lover was insulted you can say sorry, red is great too I just prefer blue. Instead of going on and on about why blue is better and you are going to say so every chance you get.

[Shooby]

No. One can simply say "I like blue" and then OTHERS try to IMPLY that your statement is therefore exclusionary. And, I know because I have actually done this on another board as a social experiment. Made some innocuous statement which then turned out exactly that way, LOL!

[Deleted]

What was the innocuous statement?