Opti
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Post by Opti on Aug 20, 2014 10:17:13 GMT -5
What?
If someone is an ass it has to be a mental illness and not a personal choice?
I stand by my assertion. People make way too many assumptions about what mental illness is and is not.
How dare I question opti-the self proclaimed expert on all things of mental illness. Indeed. Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards How dare *I* speak out against you or others who are convinced everything *must be* mental illness.
Indeed squared.
Am I just acting like a douche canoe or is it some designer temporary mental illness?
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Post by Deleted on Aug 20, 2014 10:20:28 GMT -5
I think that there are some people who are so unhappy with their lives at that particular moment (or in all moments) that they strive to make those around them just as unhappy. I don't imagine there are many of us who have not been guilty of that at one point or another. I don't think it has anything to do with mental illness. Some people are just plain mean and derive pleasure from hurting others. Shopping in WalMart, I had a lady, who was missing a leg and driving one of those handicap carts, berate me for not getting out of her way fast enough. It was hard but I bit my tongue. I figured her life must suck more than mine.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Aug 20, 2014 10:27:38 GMT -5
Exactly, Lonewolf. Some nastiness can be understandable if you really think about it. Doesn't make it acceptable, but it can make it easier to understand.
On the other hand, I get very impatient with people who use past sucky experiences to justify their assholiness. Some things are impossible to simply "get over" and they are life-changing and horrific, but they are no justification for causing pain to others.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Aug 20, 2014 10:29:54 GMT -5
I didn't read the whole thread.. but I definitely think TV, the internet, and facebook are to blame. You see people running around acting like assholes and being assholes to others and you start to think that it's normal and social acceptable behavior. "Hey, as long as I don't throw chairs and knock up 3 people at once, I'm doing ok cause I'm not on Jerry Springer!" It's actually quite sad to me how far we have come even over my lifetime.
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ZaireinHD
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Post by ZaireinHD on Aug 20, 2014 10:47:37 GMT -5
I've noticed this, too. Just a guess, here, but I think that more and more people are discovering that no matter what they do or what they have or what they have accomplished, they just aren't happy. And when one isn't happy, they aren't fun to be around. They keep reaching for whatever is out of their grasp, thinking that it will be the answer to their happiness, and it's not working. Then, there are some of us who are getting on in age and resent our bodies betraying us. This, if not kept in check, can make for some nasty acting seniors. then some get to the age that they just don't care and lash out at younger people doing what they used to do so easily Hey you young whipper-Snapper! Stop that....(cuss words)
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ZaireinHD
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Post by ZaireinHD on Aug 20, 2014 11:01:26 GMT -5
Jealousy why does she gt to do this and that Why does she have this and that
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Aug 20, 2014 11:03:02 GMT -5
Why are people so willing to be evil and cruel and unkind and just plain ugly to each other? No good answers here but maybe you people will have some. So, ... what happened to inspire this thread?
Geez, this took off. I can't wait to see the responses. Nothing juicy from my own life. I was just feeling a little depressed last night, primarily because of the stories from the CPS thread in conjunction with a murder investigation I've been following. Okay, off to read what you guys have to say.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Aug 20, 2014 11:13:27 GMT -5
It should be obvious to long time posters that certain generalizations tick me off more than others. Liberals and mental illness seem to be most posted on these boards although generational generalizations annoy me too. The thing about people who post about mental illness is they often don't seem to really think it through. First they might posit 'they must be mentally ill' and not think about the scope of it. So here's some scope: www.newsweek.com/nearly-1-5-americans-suffer-mental-illness-each-year-230608Newsweek says nearly one in 5 Americans suffer mental illness each year with this statement: every year, about 42.5 million American adults (or 18.2 percent of the total adult population in the United States) suffers from some mental illness, enduring conditions such as depression, bipolar disorder or schizophrenia, statistics released Friday reveal.
One of the challenges of reading such statements is not getting the fine print that tells us what they are counting as mental illness and how did they count it. But I'll leave that very large nit for now. Then Rae says well, npd, is the problem. Is npd a significiant portion of those judged mentally ill? Is it numerically large compared to the number of people who act ugly to each other? Since the latter is not well-defined and I have a gut feeling that npd is not the bulk of mental illness, I posted my quivalent of shenanigans. So here's my first URL I decide to visit on NPD: www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/dsm-iv.html The incidence of NPD is estimated at 1% in the general population, though I haven't been able to discover the basis of this estimate. Hmmm... And also from the link, While grandiosity is the diagnostic hallmark of pathological narcissism, there is research evidence that pathological narcissism occurs in two forms, (a) a grandiose state of mind in young adults that can be corrected by life experiences, and (b) the stable disorder described in DSM-IV, which is defined less by grandiosity than by severely disturbed interpersonal relations.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Aug 20, 2014 11:17:17 GMT -5
How dare I question opti-the self proclaimed expert on all things of mental illness. Indeed. Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards How dare *I* speak out against you or others who are convinced everything *must be* mental illness.
Indeed squared.
Am I just acting like a douche canoe or is it some designer temporary mental illness?
You're the one who feels the need to put others in their place. And if you're asking I think that you are a very stressed out individual due to your employment and financial issues, and you like to show others your worth by putting others down. Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Aug 20, 2014 11:19:47 GMT -5
More interesting stuff from the NPD link for those interested. The preferred theory seems to be that narcissism is caused by very early affective deprivation, yet the clinical material tends to describe narcissists as unwilling rather than unable, thus treating narcissistic behaviors as volitional -- that is, narcissism is termed a personality disorder, but it tends to be discussed as a character disorder. This distinction is important to prognosis and treatment possibilities. If NPD is caused by infantile damage and consequent developmental short-circuits, it probably represents an irremediable condition. On the other hand, if narcissism is a behavior pattern that's learned, then there is some hope, however tenuous, that it's a behavior pattern that can be unlearned. The clinical literature on NPD is highly theoretical, abstract, and general, with sparse case material, suggesting that clinical writers have little experience with narcissism in the flesh. There are several reasons for this to be so: -- The incidence of NPD is estimated at 1% in the general population, though I haven't been able to discover the basis of this estimate. -- Narcissists rarely enter treatment and, once in treatment, progress very slowly. We're talking about two or more years of frequent sessions before the narcissist can acknowledge even that the therapist is sometimes helpful. It's difficult to keep narcissists in treatment long enough for improvement to be made -- and few people, narcissists or not, have the motivation or the money to pursue treatment that produces so little so late. Lastly, the reason I do post often regarding posters discussing mental illness is I hate the spread of misinformation and anything that contributes to the continuing mis-understanding of mental condiitions. They are not created equally any more than physical ones are. Some "mental illnesses" in truth are really physical illnesses in specific cases. Luckily those physical illnesses that are really mental in nature, i.e. hypocondria, have a label so at least people are aware there are things like hysterical pregnancies, etc. I judge the belief that npd/mental illness is a large part of ugly treatment to be mostly false. This is in part based on the fact the mentally ill and npd comprise significantly less than 50% of the total population.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Aug 20, 2014 11:23:19 GMT -5
How dare *I* speak out against you or others who are convinced everything *must be* mental illness.
Indeed squared.
Am I just acting like a douche canoe or is it some designer temporary mental illness?
You're the one who feels the need to put others in their place. And if you're asking I think that you are a very stressed out individual due to your employment and financial issues, and you like to show others your worth by putting others down. Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards I'm not trying to show my worth or not. It is true I am stressed and stupid or mostly untrue statements tick me off more at these times. I do try to be nice, but that goes both ways. Make less blanket general statements and you won't read to me like say Paul does. (i.e. to non-conservative posters while reading P&M threads for example.)
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Post by Deleted on Aug 20, 2014 11:23:51 GMT -5
I think that there are some people who are so unhappy with their lives at that particular moment (or in all moments) that they strive to make those around them just as unhappy. I don't imagine there are many of us who have not been guilty of that at one point or another. I don't think it has anything to do with mental illness. Some people are just plain mean and derive pleasure from hurting others. I agree. I just don't think people that are happy or at least content with their lives overall go around being hateful or mean toward other people. I think that even people that are unhappy about something can still manage to not be mean all the time. So, I think people that are mean all the time or derive pleasure from hurting others are pretty miserable with themselves and/or their life.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Aug 20, 2014 11:27:55 GMT -5
I think it's often a power issue. Some people feel powerless in their everyday lives, their jobs, and/or their communities. Especially on the internet where everyone is faceless, these people are able to feign a powerful position without taking the risk that goes along with power - that of responsibility and accountability. If I, feeling powerless, can reduce you in some way to a position beneath me, I gain a sense of power that I'm unable to gain in my little corner of the universe. That can be addicting for those who really feel disenfranchised. These are the folks who are always on the "other" side of any discussion. They're the ones who insult others on a personal level. They're the ones who quibble over typos, misspellings, etc. They feel compelled to point out their obvious superiority because, for them, it gives them a false sense of that very same superiority. It won't last because it's not real. It's probably, however, a good feeling for those who haven't experienced the success they believe to be their due. MOO
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Aug 20, 2014 11:32:58 GMT -5
It's probably, however, a good feeling for those who haven't experienced the success they believe to be their due. MOO
Well put, mmhmm. I'm not sure what the cow statement at the end is about but somehow it seems appropriate
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Aug 20, 2014 11:34:18 GMT -5
Part of the reason people are mean, IMO, is because it does sometimes have it's rewards:
1. The school bully? He gets lunch money. He is feared. People do what he says. 2. The loudmouth? He gets people to shut up and give him what he wants - because nobody wants to argue with him. 3. The message board bully? He "wins" because he gets a following of all the insecure nobodies and feels important. 4. The adult bully? Nobody dares disagree with him because he'll be mean and nasty. 5. The nasty child? He gets his way because the parents will do anything to make him stop. 6. The nasty spouse? To stand up to them means losing something the other partner wants, so the behavior goes unchecked. 7. The generally nasty person? They feel better about themselves by putting others down. That's a win! 8. The nasty parent? You do what they say because you don't want to be berated or abused. 9. The abusive spouse? Same thing.
There ARE "rewards" to being mean and nasty. To me and to most of us, those aren't "rewards", but some people see them as such.
ETA: The general "he" instead of he/she. Women can be way worse! I didn't mean to make it sound like only men are mean.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Aug 20, 2014 11:34:50 GMT -5
LOL! The "cow statement" is just my way of typing My Opinion Only without having to type it!
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Aug 20, 2014 11:35:24 GMT -5
I've noticed this, too. Just a guess, here, but I think that more and more people are discovering that no matter what they do or what they have or what they have accomplished, they just aren't happy. And when one isn't happy, they aren't fun to be around. They keep reaching for whatever is out of their grasp, thinking that it will be the answer to their happiness, and it's not working. Then, there are some of us who are getting on in age and resent our bodies betraying us. This, if not kept in check, can make for some nasty acting seniors. then some get to the age that they just don't care and lash out at younger people doing what they used to do so easily Hey you young whipper-Snapper! Stop that....(cuss words) Hey there you young whipper-snapper don't you be dissing us old folks. You want to see my head start spinning around ie, the exorcist
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Aug 20, 2014 11:38:35 GMT -5
LOL! The "cow statement" is just my way of typing My Opinion Only without having to type it! While I like your phrase, why do you use that instead of the more common IMO?
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Aug 20, 2014 11:42:46 GMT -5
LOL! The "cow statement" is just my way of typing My Opinion Only without having to type it! While I like your phrase, why do you use that instead of the more common IMO? Habit, mostly. I've used it for years. Saw it from someone else and just took a liking to it.
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ZaireinHD
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Post by ZaireinHD on Aug 20, 2014 11:45:07 GMT -5
*sigh* It sounds like this was something that happened some time ago, ZaireinHD. Why not just let it go now? We do ourselves no favors by hauling resentments around with us. I truly do believe it would be better for you, and for everyone, to just let it be in the past and start fresh - without the baggage. mmhmm, Administrator Firebird - I noticed your signature is from 2012
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Aug 20, 2014 11:46:06 GMT -5
I like it, mmhmm. I agree that there are plenty of rewards for being a nasty person. You may end up sad and alone but on the other hand you may not. Plenty of people are willing to put up with shit in order to avoid being alone.
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ZaireinHD
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Post by ZaireinHD on Aug 20, 2014 11:47:28 GMT -5
Geez, this took off. I can't wait to see the responses. Nothing juicy from my own life. I was just feeling a little depressed last night, primarily because of the stories from the CPS thread in conjunction with a murder investigation I've been following. Okay, off to read what you guys have to say. I thought it was started because of your signature quote
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Aug 20, 2014 11:48:05 GMT -5
*sigh* It sounds like this was something that happened some time ago, ZaireinHD. Why not just let it go now? We do ourselves no favors by hauling resentments around with us. I truly do believe it would be better for you, and for everyone, to just let it be in the past and start fresh - without the baggage. mmhmm, Administrator Firebird - I noticed your signature is from 2012 That's somewhat of a joke between Firebird and Dark Honor (Shaun of the Toys), Zaire. It really doesn't concern you in any way.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Aug 20, 2014 11:49:15 GMT -5
*sigh* It sounds like this was something that happened some time ago, ZaireinHD. Why not just let it go now? We do ourselves no favors by hauling resentments around with us. I truly do believe it would be better for you, and for everyone, to just let it be in the past and start fresh - without the baggage. mmhmm, Administrator Firebird - I noticed your signature is from 2012 Okay, this made me laugh. Thanks. It's a reference to an old joke that still makes me smile, not an insult. That's why I haven't updated it. (Plus, I really can be and it's a good reminder to me to keep working on that aspect of my personality. It's not my most attractive quality.)
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 20, 2014 11:50:00 GMT -5
People have always been assholes. Only now we're connected 24/7 between Facebook, twitter and various 24 hour news stations. Things that wouldn't be news in our little corner of the world we now get beaten over the head with.
DH gets depressed all the time about the world being such an "awful place". I tell him to turn off MSNBC/CNN for awhile.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Aug 20, 2014 11:50:58 GMT -5
I like it, mmhmm. I agree that there are plenty of rewards for being a nasty person. You may end up sad and alone but on the other hand you may not. Plenty of people are willing to put up with shit in order to avoid being alone. If a person does something that makes you say to yourself "Hmmmm?!?", always look for the secondary gain. Somewhere along the line that person is achieving something for themselves. It's human nature. I had this stuff beat into me in the seemingly endless Crisis Intervention courses that were shoved down our throats by the hospital. It got old and it got tiresome, but I sure did learn a few things about people, why they do what they do, and how to defuse the really ugly battles that can result. I yawned myself into coma but I can't say I regret the classes.
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Aug 20, 2014 11:50:55 GMT -5
Firebird - I noticed your signature is from 2012 Okay, this made me laugh. Thanks. It's a reference to an old joke that still makes me smile, not an insult. That's why I haven't updated it. Proboards wouldn't know it was a joke.. ; )
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Aug 20, 2014 11:53:55 GMT -5
Proboards wouldn't know it was a joke.. ; )A couple of mods asked me about it when I first put it up, and once I explained they were fine with it. If it's causing a problem now, I have no problem deleting it. But it was definitely a joke, not Sum Dum Gai being a judgmental asshole about me being a judgmental asshole
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Aug 20, 2014 11:56:08 GMT -5
You're the one who feels the need to put others in their place. And if you're asking I think that you are a very stressed out individual due to your employment and financial issues, and you like to show others your worth by putting others down. Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards I'm not trying to show my worth or not. It is true I am stressed and stupid or mostly untrue statements tick me off more at these times. I do try to be nice, but that goes both ways. Make less blanket general statements and you won't read to me like say Paul does. (i.e. to non-conservative posters while reading P&M threads for example.) Go back and read my first post and stop assuming everyone else is an idiot. The truly awful people I was referring to are a total of 2 people who have been nasty to people their entire lives and yes, I believe there is a medical reason for that. See that-I said I believe.... As in my opinion. Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards
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ZaireinHD
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Post by ZaireinHD on Aug 20, 2014 11:56:26 GMT -5
Hey there you young whipper-snapper don't you be dissing us old folks. You want to see my head start spinning around ie, the exorcist LOL you can bet your bottom dollar - I'll be that grumpy old man yelling at everyone! standing in the doorway at home - Hey get off my lawn! walking down the street - hey you kids stop all that run'n around before you get hurt yelling at other drivers - hey slow down what's the rush jerk!
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