I taught my 6-year-old about the Holocaust and got sent to..

[Tennesseer]

I taught my 6-year-old about the Holocaust and got sent to the principal’s office

“When you pick up Yael today, the principal needs to see you.” It was a one-line email from my first grader’s teacher, but it was enough to twist my stomach in a knot.

It was her first year at the school, and I had yet to meet the principal in person. So, when I showed up to her office, my daughter’s hand in mine, I had a wide smile plastered on my face, and eagerly extended my hand. She shook it limply.

“We have a problem,” she said. This happened 10 years ago, and I can still see her face.

After setting up Yael with a book outside the office, I sat down, my heart racing. It was decades since I had been called to the principal’s office, but I could still feel a shiver of anxiety.

“Your daughter drew a picture of dead people today.” She picked up the piece of paper by the corner as if it was a dirty rag. My daughter had drawn stick figures jumbled in a heap, something resembling black tears streaming from their faces.

The principal seemed to be waiting for an expression of shock or dismay. I paused before blurting: “Well, today is Yom HaShoah, Holocaust Remembrance Day. We have been talking about this at home.”

She stared at me, her mouth pursed, still holding the paper as if she was presenting a murder weapon to a jury.

“My grandfather was a Holocaust survivor,” I stammered. “We lost a lot of our family in the Holocaust. It’s a big part of my family’s history.”

“Well, your daughter is 6 years old.”

“Yes, I know.” I was feeling my nervousness tip toward anger.

“This is not acceptable for a 6-year-old to know about.”

I took a long breath and let it out between clenched teeth. “And why is that?”

She gave the drawing a little shake, as if nothing could be more obvious.

“Yes,” I said, more firmly. “People died in the Holocaust, just like that.”

As a mental health professional, and as a parent, I am keenly aware of the need to teach children in an age-appropriate manner. But as a direct descendent of Holocaust survivors who are rapidly disappearing, I am equally mindful of the need to keep their memory alive.

Since this incident happened with my daughter a decade ago, erasure of the Holocaust in popular culture has only worsened. A 2020 survey of Americans found that 63% did not know that 6 million died in the Holocaust; over half of those thought the toll was under 2 million. And it doesn’t stop there. Book bans like those infamously propagated by the Nazis have reached unprecedented levels. In 2022, PEN America reported that there were 2,532 instances of individual books being banned, including “Night” by Elie Wiesel, “The Diary Of A Young Girl” by Anne Frank, and “Maus” by Art Spiegelman.

Walking home that afternoon, Yael asked me: “Did I do something wrong?”

“No honey, you didn’t. Some things are just hard to talk about, even for grown-ups.” Despite my reassurances, I was wondering the same thing. Had I done something wrong?

We are all familiar with those haunting images of children being herded in long lines to the Nazi gas chambers, unaware of the fate that awaited them. It’s a powerful metaphor. Just because they may not have a frame of reference with which to understand the scale of tragedy in the world does not mean that our kids don’t feel the same feelings of helplessness that we do. The antidote to powerlessness is empowerment, but how do we empower our children if we keep them in the dark?

If my daughter’s principal had asked, I would have explained to her the careful, kid-sensitive scaffolding I built around the historical event that more than any other defines her identity — how I told her that there was a war, in which many people died because of their religion, sexual identity or physical disability; how I read her children’s books that get across the facts in an age-appropriate way, although we did skip a few pages here and there. Books like “The Cat with the Yellow Star” or “Love the World,” which is about a dear family friend, Bronia Roslawowski, who was born in Poland, survived a concentration camp and devoted the better part of her life to teaching the Holocaust to children just like Yael. She also, more than anyone else, taught me that learning about the Holocaust and learning to value life are not only compatible, they are inextricably intertwined.

I would also have explained that Yael and I talked about hope — about Jews who resisted the Nazis, and about non-Jews who risked their lives to save thousands of us, including members of our own family. Also, how we talked about why people yearn to live, and how important it is to hug each other every day. Finally, I would have recounted how we discuss the work I have done over the last 25 years with those seeking asylum, and how I wish I could have told my beloved grandfather about it because he sought refuge in America and loved this country fiercely for having granted it.

But she didn’t ask. She, at least back then, seemed to believe that the Holocaust is something children are not ready to know about. It’s clear that many people still believe that today. I disagree. I believe that we must expose children to the trauma of history, and that it’s possible to do so in language and concepts they can understand. When we wait to teach a dark part of history until they are “old enough” to fully metabolize the story, they are also old enough to keep it at a distance, to justify or explain away its horror.

Delaying exposure to what happened is not being respectful of the child; it’s tragically disrespectful of the victims, part of the process of forgetting. If “Never Again” is to not become a meaningless platitude, we must give our children — yes, even our 6-year olds — the opportunity their ancestors never had of knowing the truth.

I taught my 6-year-old about the Holocaust and got sent to the principal’s office

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I would have gotten myself kicked out of that principal's office after I was done answering her concerns.  Probably with the school police officer following behind me.

Children need to know. They need to know especially nowadays before the dark conspiracy side of the internet sinks it's hooks into them.

Holocaust denial is on the upswing and that is terrifying.

[wvugurl26]

I'm with drama, I would have been kicked out of the school.

[busymom]

I don't know why so many get their undies in a twist when we teach our children about history.  I own the 911 DVD which shows live (not a movie) the firemen who went to the Twin Towers on 911.  Do I plan to teach what happened to my grandkids someday?  Absolutely!


My parents (my Dad served in the Navy during WWII) told me about the great depression (during their childhood days) and WWII.  Both the nasty stuff about the Nazis, Japanese, etc., AND the mistakes the US goverment made during the war.  Like the ships of Jewish immigrants that were turned away by the US government.  

If we don't teach full history, good, bad & ugly to our children, then the next generation will most likely make the same mistakes in the future.  Be informed.  And, if that makes me "WOKE", so be it.

[happyhoix]

This lines up with the ‘we can’t talk about slavery because it will make the white children feel bad about themselves.’ Argument.

There’s all kinds of horrible history on this planet. Pretending none of it every happened guarantees we’ll generate more horrible history.

[Spellbound454]

No I'm with the principal ...... It needs to be done but in an age appropriate way.

Scaring your  6 year old  kid in to drawing piles of dead bodies is not appropriate .... Goodness knows how she was processing that information, or how it was disturbing her mind.

We give our 11/12 year olds a name and age of another child and ask them to imagine what their life was like for them.

We read and do work on the Diary of Anne Frank with the younger ones......... then 15/16 year olds the holocaust is part of history lessons.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

It's not a principal's role to tell a parent how to parent. 


Signed, 
A parent and a principal

[Tennesseer]

Apr 8, 2023 3:39:22 GMT -5 Spellbound454 said:

No I'm with the principal ...... It needs to be done but in an age appropriate way.

Scaring your  6 year old  kid in to drawing piles of dead bodies is not appropriate .... Goodness knows how she was processing that information, or how it was disturbing her mind.

We give our 11/12 year olds a name and age of another child and ask them to imagine what their life was like for them.

We read and do work on the Diary of Anne Frank with the younger ones......... then 15/16 year olds the holocaust is part of history lessons.

So a parent who lost family in the Holocaust should not teach their children, regardless of age, without the child's school principal approving it.

Got it.

GFL.

[Tennesseer]

Apr 8, 2023 3:39:22 GMT -5 Spellbound454 said:

No I'm with the principal ...... It needs to be done but in an age appropriate way.

Scaring your  6 year old  kid in to drawing piles of dead bodies is not appropriate .... Goodness knows how she was processing that information, or how it was disturbing her mind.

We give our 11/12 year olds a name and age of another child and ask them to imagine what their life was like for them.

We read and do work on the Diary of Anne Frank with the younger ones......... then 15/16 year olds the holocaust is part of history lessons.

You are not doing a very good job in the UK teaching about the Holocaust.

Survey exposes lack of knowledge about the Holocaust

A new national study of Holocaust knowledge and awareness in the United Kingdom found that 52% of all respondents did not know that six million Jews were murdered during the Holocaust with 22% thinking that two million or fewer Jews were killed.

The study, led by the Conference on Jewish Material Claims Against Germany (Claims Conference), brought together a survey taskforce including UCL Institute of Education (IOE) academics Professor Stuart Foster and Dr Rebecca Hale, who shared their expertise in conducting national studies about Holocaust education with students and teachers in England as part of their work at the Centre for Holocaust Education.

Numerous misconceptions and knowledge gaps were identified in the survey, which ran between 29 September and 17 October 2021, with 2,000 interviews being conducted in the UK with adults aged 18 and over. Many of the findings echoed the Centre for Holocaust Education’s research with teachers and students. For example, only 15% of adults in the UK knew that in 1941-42 when the British government became aware of the mass murder of Jews, they did not take any action and said they would punish the Nazis after the war. Over a third of respondents said they were not sure about Britain’s response and a fifth incorrectly thought that the government took steps to rescue the Jews.

Additionally, two thirds of respondents incorrectly believed that the government allowed Jewish refugees to immigrate to the UK during the Second World War. In fact, the only rescue operation the British government sanctioned was the Kindertransport programme. This programme enabled unaccompanied Jewish children from Nazi Germany to be admitted into the UK and took place before the outbreak of the Second World War. Only 24% of adults in the UK knew what Kindertransport referred to.

Rest of article here: Survey exposes lack of knowledge about the Holocaust

[weltschmerz]

When I was growing up, I was fed stories about the Holodomor, when most of my people died of starvation.
It was usually when I left food on my plate.  
Throwing food out was absolutely criminal, and to this day, I share my leftovers with the wildlife.

[Spellbound454]

So a parent who lost family in the Holocaust should not teach their children, regardless of age, without the child's school principal approving it.



Got it.

You support frightening children?

Surprises me, but hey what do I know.

[mollyc]

Granted the mother is telling the story and I suppose you could claim she is an untrustworthy narrator but there is nothing in this story or the picture that shows that the daughter was frightened.  There is no reason to disbelieve that the mother did handle the conversation in an age appropriate way.

I remember Remembrance Day in elementary school in the 70s.  The teachers were often dismayed by the pictures the (mostly) boys would draw with tanks & explosions & corpses & swastikas because it was very much a "War movie, isn't this fun" aesthetic.  They would have probably been happy to see "Ded people.  Hitler was bad."

[Tennesseer]

Apr 8, 2023 11:38:28 GMT -5 Spellbound454 said:

So a parent who lost family in the Holocaust should not teach their children, regardless of age, without the child's school principal approving it.



Got it.

You support frightening children?

Surprises me, but hey what do I know.

You know little to nothing.


You worry about your country's lack of knowledge about the Holocaust.

[Tiny]

Apr 8, 2023 3:39:22 GMT -5 Spellbound454 said:

No I'm with the principal ...... It needs to be done but in an age appropriate way.

Scaring your  6 year old  kid in to drawing piles of dead bodies is not appropriate .... Goodness knows how she was processing that information, or how it was disturbing her mind.

We give our 11/12 year olds a name and age of another child and ask them to imagine what their life was like for them.

We read and do work on the Diary of Anne Frank with the younger ones......... then 15/16 year olds the holocaust is part of history lessons.

I feel like you are projecting an expected/acceptable emotion on this 6 year old and assuming there's trauma involved.      

I would think that finding out your parents lied to you or kept something a secret is more scarring than hearing about what awful things happened to the relatives who lived long before you were born. 



As an weird aside: 
What do you think of the story of Noah and the animals going two by two onto the Ark?  is it scary or trauma inducing?  Probably not - cause no one says more than "and then the world was covering in water for 40 days" 

SPOILER: Click to show

and not God drowned all the humans and all the animals (except aquatic life) - you can almost see and feel and hear the desperation and fear and terror  of people around the world as the water rises and as they try to save their loved ones by moving to higher and higher ground - but in the end they all fail because it was God's Will.   Think of the awfulness experienced by parents who had their children ripped from their arms by the rushing water?  People who watched their loved ones drown before their eyes....   

But hey, the story of those animals going two by two is sooo fucking CUTE!!! 

Oh, and since its Easter -  all the little christian/catholic kids who attend church or religious school - get to hear about the 3 days of torture Jesus had to endure and then get to 're-witness' his gruesome death.     

If you are Catholic - everytime you go to Mass - there's usually a big old Crucifix hanging above the alter - which depicts Jesus DEAD and hanging on a cross.    You might also wear a dead Jesus on a cross necklace.   

No, it's totally NOT scary or traumatic -  Jesus did that for you!  Because he loved you!   (yeah, no....) 

[billisonboard]

As i picture the 6 year olds that I work with daily, I don't see human beings who are developmentally ready to process an event like the Holocaust.  

[Tennesseer]

Apr 8, 2023 12:27:31 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

As i picture the 6 year olds that I work with daily, I don't see human beings who are developmentally ready to process an event like the Holocaust.  

How many of the 6 year olds you picture had relatives Who died in the Holocaust and whose mother is aclinical psychologist practicing in New York an is also an assistant professor in psychiatry at the Icahn School of Medicine, Mount Sinai Medical Center.

[Tennesseer]

Apr 8, 2023 12:27:31 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

As i picture the 6 year olds that I work with daily, I don't see human beings who are developmentally ready to process an event like the Holocaust.  

I was born six years after the end of WWII. By the time I was six I was a daily reader of our city's newspaper. News about WWII was still on the front-page. I was familiar about the Holocaust and anything I did not understand I asked my parents who were not afraid to hold back particulars.

By the age of nine, I was well aware of the atrocities committed by Nazi Germany. I also had a school mate who told us all the cruel things the Nazis did to concentration camp prisoners including peeling skin off their bodies and making lamp shades with it.

This school mate enjoyed telling us these facts. His ancestry were pre-WWII immigrants from Germany and he seemed to enjoy the cruelties inflicted on the Jews. We both attended the same Catholic grammar school.

[billisonboard]

Apr 8, 2023 12:36:37 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Apr 8, 2023 12:27:31 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

As i picture the 6 year olds that I work with daily, I don't see human beings who are developmentally ready to process an event like the Holocaust.  

How many of the 6 year olds you picture had relatives Who died in the Holocaust and whose mother is aclinical psychologist practicing in New York an is also an assistant professor in psychiatry at the Icahn School of Medicine, Mount Sinai Medical Center.

Do those factors impact psychological development in childhood? Not sure but question it.

Going back to the story in the OP: Why did the child draw the picture that she did? Did she do it at school or bring it from home? If the second, why? If the first, what part of her school day did she draw it? Was it in any way a part of a lesson or was she obessing on it?

[billisonboard]

Apr 8, 2023 12:48:47 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Apr 8, 2023 12:27:31 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

As i picture the 6 year olds that I work with daily, I don't see human beings who are developmentally ready to process an event like the Holocaust.  

I was born six years after the end of WWII. By the time I was six I was a daily reader of our city's newspaper. News about WWII was still on the front-page. I was familiar about the Holocaust and anything I did not understand I asked my parents who were not afraid to hold back particulars.

By the age of nine, I was well aware of the atrocities committed by Nazi Germany. I also had a school mate who told us all the cruel things the Nazis did to concentration camp prisoners including peeling skin off their bodies and making lamp shades with it.

This school mate enjoyed telling us these facts. His ancestry were pre-WWII immigrants from Germany and he seemed to enjoy the cruelties inflicted on the Jews. We both attended the same Catholic grammar school.

Very impressive personal reading ability.

[Tennesseer]

Apr 8, 2023 13:00:44 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Apr 8, 2023 12:36:37 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

How many of the 6 year olds you picture had relatives Who died in the Holocaust and whose mother is aclinical psychologist practicing in New York an is also an assistant professor in psychiatry at the Icahn School of Medicine, Mount Sinai Medical Center.

Do those factors impact psychological development in childhood? Not sure but question it.

Going back to the story in the OP: Why did the child draw the picture that she did? Did she do it at school or bring it from home? If the second, why? If the first, what part of her school day did she draw it? Was it in any way a part of a lesson or was she obessing on it?

We will never know why the child drew the picture. So the why needs to be taken out of the equation.

Should a parent be able to teach their children is really the issue here. So can or cannot a parent teach their own children. Simple answer.

[billisonboard]

Apr 8, 2023 13:04:56 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Apr 8, 2023 13:00:44 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Do those factors impact psychological development in childhood? Not sure but question it.

Going back to the story in the OP: Why did the child draw the picture that she did? Did she do it at school or bring it from home? If the second, why? If the first, what part of her school day did she draw it? Was it in any way a part of a lesson or was she obessing on it?

We will never know why the child drew the picture. So the why needs to be taken out of the equation.

Should a parent be able to teach their children is really the issue here. So can or cannot a parent teach their own children. Simple answer.

If the parent provided lesson was Holocaust denial and antisemitism, would that be a simple answer?

I don't think that the reported principal response was well done. But school concerns about a student drawing a picture of dad bodies is appropriate. It should have lead to a full discussion.

[haapai]

ded bodies 

Dad bodies would be another ball of wax.  Probably worse! 

Heck, it doesn't have to be about dad's junk.  A picture of dad's protruding, middle-aged belly might cause worse problems.  

[Spellbound454]

 I feel like you are projecting an expected/acceptable emotion on this 6 year old and assuming there's trauma involved.

You think drawing piles of dead bodies is normal for a 6 year old?

[Opti]

Apr 8, 2023 13:37:04 GMT -5 Spellbound454 said:

 I feel like you are projecting an expected/acceptable emotion on this 6 year old and assuming there's trauma involved.

You think drawing piles of dead bodies is normal for a 6 year old?

It doesn't have to be normal to be OK for the child in question to be OK.

[Spellbound454]

Apr 8, 2023 13:38:11 GMT -5 Opti said:

Apr 8, 2023 13:37:04 GMT -5 Spellbound454 said:

You think drawing piles of dead bodies is normal for a 6 year old?

It doesn't have to be normal to be OK for the child in question to be OK.

I guess thats what they were trying to find out?

[MarionTh230]

Apr 8, 2023 13:37:04 GMT -5 Spellbound454 said:

 I feel like you are projecting an expected/acceptable emotion on this 6 year old and assuming there's trauma involved.

You think drawing piles of dead bodies is normal for a 6 year old?

I've been following the discussion on this thread, but I've been loathe to comment since I have a 6 year old at home.  Parts of this discussion are entirely too relatable to me.

Having said that, in this context, for this particular 6 year old, given the drawing depicted in the article, yes, I would find it normal.

But, again, in this context.  This 6 year old child had a great grandfather that lived through the Holocaust.  His survival is the reason this 6 year old even exists.  According to the article, this particular day was Holocaust Remembrance Day.  In my opinion, the author of the article said it perfectly with this “Yes,” I said, more firmly. “People died in the Holocaust, just like that."  

In that context, there is nothing in the drawing that would lead me to automatically conclude the 6 year old was traumatized or disturbed or had an unnatural interest in death.  It seems to be a typical "6 year old quality" drawing based on stories, discussions, and events surrounding the Holocaust.  Which her mother was teaching her about at home.

My kid draws all kinds of things based on various topics.  They are roughly that same quality.  My child would draw something about a book she read, a show she saw on tv, something they learned in school, a depiction of an activity we did.  Pretty much she will draw anything that's part of her life on any given day.  Which is why, given the context, I do find this completely normal.

Now, if the question is whether or not we should be talking to our 6 year olds about historic events where dead bodies were piled up in mass graves, that's part of the discussion I'm not interested in.  I think there are other posters here which can discuss that much better than I can.  Which is why I've been careful here and only tried to address the one question.

[Spellbound454]

Apr 8, 2023 12:13:35 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Apr 8, 2023 11:38:28 GMT -5 Spellbound454 said:

You support frightening children?

Surprises me, but hey what do I know.

You know little to nothing.


You worry about your country's lack of knowledge about the Holocaust.

"The National Curriculum

In England, by law children are to be taught about the Holocaust as part of the Key Stage 3 History curriculum; in fact, the Holocaust is the only historical event whose study is compulsory on the National Curriculum. This usually occurs in Year 9 (age 13-14)"

www.het.org.uk/about/holocaust-education-uk

Its taught by law to 13/14 year olds through their history lesson.

[NastyWoman]

Apr 8, 2023 11:38:28 GMT -5 Spellbound454 said:

So a parent who lost family in the Holocaust should not teach their children, regardless of age, without the child's school principal approving it.



Got it.

You support frightening children?

Surprises me, but hey what do I know.

Maybe not as much as you think since you automatically equate telling children about something with scaring them or maybe you feel that only principals and/or teachers know what scares children? Though the school principal on this board disagrees with you...

[Spellbound454]

"Maybe not as much as you think since you automatically equate telling children about something with scaring them"

From the point of view of an experienced teacher. A 6 year old drawing a picture of piles of dead bodies would be flagged up.
We would have no choice ..... it would be a safeguarding issue which we would legally have to disclose.


We do sadly see violent pictures from time to time..... usually from refugee children from Syria or Ukraine trying to deal with their PTSD

[djAdvocate]

just because they may not have a frame of reference with which to understand the scale of tragedy in the world does not mean that our kids don’t feel the same feelings of helplessness that we do. The antidote to powerlessness is empowerment, but how do we empower our children if we keep them in the dark?


this assumes schools are there to empower kids, rather than make them docile.

i don't think that assumption is right, at all.