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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2014 18:28:43 GMT -5
Still haven't finished ... is it possible she does want an abortion but her family can't afford one, hence her naming your friends' son as the dad, because (maybe?) his family can afford it? Dunno, just a thought.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2014 18:41:10 GMT -5
Tenn, ALL the characters on that show drive me bonkers, but I love it nonetheless LOL!
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Oct 9, 2014 18:41:33 GMT -5
They can also come pretty close based on HCG levels rising. lol - they used to date by the size of the uterus before all this new fangled business came alone too. Just saying Not at 6 weeks!!
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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2014 18:42:10 GMT -5
Tenn, you forgot to mention how much Elizabeth is looking forward to parenting with the baby's dad, even though she is 9 months pregnant, and has only known the dad for 4 or 5 months LOL.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2014 18:53:47 GMT -5
Agile, all kidding aside, this is a HUGE deal. Our friends' son was about to go off to college in the UK (DH's childhood friend is from England, as is my DH.) The son refused a full scholarship to a UK university because "he needed to take care of his new family".
When he found out the baby wasn't his, he SERIOUSLY lost it. (I'm guessing that would NOT be the case with your friends' son). Then he went walkabout to Alaska because of her brothers' decision to kill him.
Amazingly enough, his parents are still in touch with the girl and (now) her 4 or 5 kids from 4 or 5 different dads (I've lost track). They do not give them regular financial assistance, but they give them generous birthday and Xmas gifts, and continue to help her out occasionally.
Their son (understandably IMO), refuses to have anything to do with her or her kids.
It's a difficult situation, one that changed his life, and NOT for the better. After leaving school with a HS diploma, he tried to make it as a car saleman. He quit that job to fulfill his new girlfriend's dream of "seeing Europe", and WAY overstayed his welcome here. His plan was to get his RE license and go into his parents' RE business.
I truly hope your friends' son dodged this bullet, and learned a lesson from it.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Oct 9, 2014 19:12:33 GMT -5
Tenn, ALL the characters on that show drive me bonkers, but I love it nonetheless LOL! DH-I laugh each time I hear the last line from that scene. I do not know if you saw the New Year's Eve Modern Family commercial this year. The son Luke, now clearly going through puberty, voice change and all, goes into the kitchen and tells everone to go into the living room to watch TV because "The ball's dropping." His uncle Mitchell, not missing a beat, looks quickly at the camera filming the scene and says, "That's not the only balls that dropped." A bit risque, but it was funny.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2014 19:22:12 GMT -5
Wait till she has the baby and doesn't tell the father and then slaps his name on the birth certificate. Just her saying she wants him to sign away his rights doesn't mean squat. I would be talking to an attorney to see what my son's rights were in this mess. To much going on and I am jaded about stuff like this. ETA: Why did she tell him he was the baby daddy if she wanted him to sign away rights? She could have just kept her mouth shut. if the parents aren't married you can't just put a father's name on the birth certificate, the man has to agree.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2014 19:24:28 GMT -5
No, Tenn, I haven't seen that! Cute!
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Works4me
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Post by Works4me on Oct 9, 2014 19:52:40 GMT -5
I was taught that as a woman, it was my responsibility to see that I did not get pregnant unless I wanted a baby - a man can always walk away but a woman rarely can. I have never been pregnant and I have never had sex without birth control. At 52 it is fast becoming a non-issue for pregnancy but I also know that there are diseases out there that can make a person wish they had done something else that night.
i just fail to understand parents that do not educate their children about sexuality - I know one woman that left a bag of condoms in her son's room. She is now known as grandma and there are already 2 different baby mamas.
Education involves more than a single conversation. But the bottom line is that sex causes pregnancy. Period.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Oct 9, 2014 20:34:40 GMT -5
The fact that she is so specific (I'm exactly x weeks along and that when we did it and dr says I was ovulating then) makes me think she's just wants it to be his- rather than him being the only possibility. Since a doctor has no way of knowing exactly when you ovulated nor how many weeks along you are without an ultrasound a doctor could not have guaranteed either. You can estimate based on LMP, but since every woman is different there is a lot of potential for error. But, the biggest thing that strikes me in all that is if you are 6 weeks pregnant, then you didn't ovulate nor have sex 6 weeks ago. That isn't how it is counted. So that makes me think she is absolutely bsing about something. If she is truly 6 weeks pregnant and they last had sex 6 weeks ago, it isn't his kid.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Oct 9, 2014 20:49:14 GMT -5
Bride TO BE
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Works4me
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Post by Works4me on Oct 9, 2014 20:52:54 GMT -5
Guess I am behind the times - "carry yourself like a bride?"
Lol
What does that mean?
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Oct 9, 2014 22:24:50 GMT -5
It's an inside joke about something PBP said once. Or maybe more than once. I'll try to remember the exact reference tomorrow but it had something to do with women who carried themselves like brides to be versus women who carried themselves like whores. Maybe @tbird can fill in the blanks...
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Oct 9, 2014 22:32:14 GMT -5
The other night, I mentioned to DH that I kinda hope Babybird is a lesbian - that way she can't possibly have an unplanned pregnancy in high school (or any other time). I wasn't really kidding... DH often says this about and to our 16yo daughter. He isn't kidding either.
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Nazgul Girl
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Oct 10, 2014 0:27:00 GMT -5
In reading the first few posts, I am thinking " not my circus, not my monkeys " Phew !
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Oct 10, 2014 8:46:28 GMT -5
Since a large part of the information is 4th hand, I wonder how much of it is really accurate? Especially since the first 2 stops of information are coming from a couple of teenagers. Also - while I don't discount that the girl may be being false in some (or all) respects, in regards to the drs appt and what was and was not done - firstly I doubt that the girl would be trying to accurately report everything single thing that occurred in terms of dr conversation, tests, etc. (would anyone in reporting a dr visit??) but just hitting the highlights as it were that she felt pertained to this boy. And regardless of how factual and thorough her report was intended to be (but again - why would anyone report on a drs appt like a radio coverage of a baseball game?), this was in a very likely contentious conversation with the boy who is attempting to deny paternity. There may have been sentences that were cut off and never finished, etc. Overall - regardless of what the true state of affairs may be here - I think it is a mistake to take the handful of purported facts available and try to piece them together and come to a conclusion as if they are a complete and accurate record of occurrences in terms of what happened and when it happened.A final thought on this signing away rights. Girl tells boy she pregnant and he responds with a list of other potential baby daddies and distances himself from responsibility. Her asking him to sign away rights may just be an emotional reaction to that. She told him she was pregnant and he basically denied it. She may have felt her only real way to say "I don't care about you either!" was to say - fine - sign away rights. who needs you?you do realize the irony here and even a bit of hypocrisy One one side you're saying it's a mistake to take a handful of "purported" facts and conclude they are complete. OTOH you say she "may have felt" based only on one or two of those "porported" facts. You frequently feel qualified to opine as to what other's motivations are without anything other than purported facts.
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Oct 10, 2014 9:01:12 GMT -5
The other night, I mentioned to DH that I kinda hope Babybird is a lesbian - that way she can't possibly have an unplanned pregnancy in high school (or any other time). I wasn't really kidding... This is why one of my SIL is not pregnant. I firmly believe (as does a good part of the family) if she was interested in men, that she'd already have a couple of kids (with different dads). As it is, she's just causing drama and breaking hearts. We all keep hoping she'll mature and settle down with a nice girl.
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Oct 10, 2014 9:04:21 GMT -5
Also - while I don't discount that the girl may be being false in some (or all) respects, ... this was in a very likely contentious conversation with the boy who is attempting to deny paternity. ... distances himself from responsibility. ... She told him she was pregnant and he basically denied it. ... ... OTOH you say she "may have felt" based only on one or two of those "porported" facts. ... There is the underlying "fact" that she is clearly using.
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Oct 10, 2014 9:09:47 GMT -5
Enh, my friends and I had plenty of non-lesbian sex in high school and college and only one of us ever managed to get knocked up.
We just weren't stupid. Everyone used birth control religiously. We came from the type of background where college and career were expected before family, and everyone knew how awful an idea it was to be an unwed teenage mom. The guys we slept with had as much to lose as we did - noone tried to pressure you not to use birth control.
I think the socio-economic framework at play in your high school/college years has just as much to do with you getting knocked up or not as anything else.
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Oct 10, 2014 9:20:15 GMT -5
Enh, my friends and I had plenty of non-lesbian sex in high school and college and only one of us ever managed to get knocked up.
We just weren't stupid. Everyone used birth control religiously. We came from the type of background where college and career were expected before family, and everyone knew how awful an idea it was to be an unwed teenage mom. The guys we slept with had as much to lose as we did - noone tried to pressure you not to use birth control.
I think the socio-economic framework at play in your high school/college years has just as much to do with you getting knocked up or not as anything else. Out of DH's 4 sisters, we have two who got pregnant at 18, one lesbian and one who's 14... not the best track record for his family.... Two of his three brothers also had kids before they were 20, although both of them are involved Dads. In DH's family, I am the only college graduate... All of this being said, I'm not giving back any of my 8 nieces or nephews.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Oct 10, 2014 10:02:57 GMT -5
Enh, my friends and I had plenty of non-lesbian sex in high school and college and only one of us ever managed to get knocked up.
We just weren't stupid. Everyone used birth control religiously. We came from the type of background where college and career were expected before family, and everyone knew how awful an idea it was to be an unwed teenage mom. The guys we slept with had as much to lose as we did - noone tried to pressure you not to use birth control.
I think the socio-economic framework at play in your high school/college years has just as much to do with you getting knocked up or not as anything else. Maybe more people got "knocked-up" then you're aware of. Some people do actually know how to keep a secret.
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Oct 10, 2014 10:06:02 GMT -5
Enh, my friends and I had plenty of non-lesbian sex in high school and college and only one of us ever managed to get knocked up.
We just weren't stupid. Everyone used birth control religiously. We came from the type of background where college and career were expected before family, and everyone knew how awful an idea it was to be an unwed teenage mom. The guys we slept with had as much to lose as we did - noone tried to pressure you not to use birth control.
I think the socio-economic framework at play in your high school/college years has just as much to do with you getting knocked up or not as anything else. Maybe more people got "knocked-up" then you're aware of. Some people do actually know how to keep a secret. Oh, I'm sure there were girls who did get knocked up. I'm comfortable saying it wasn't one of my friends.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Oct 10, 2014 10:06:51 GMT -5
If he signs to relinquish all rights to the child, that usually means they can not go after him for child support, though it may depend on state laws.
It might be likely that her plan is to give the baby up for adoption, but thinks that the previous boyfriend (other possible bio-dad) won't agree to that. So, she's pushing this young man to claim the child by relinquishing his rights.
But here's what they don't know- if the father of record (ie on birth certificate) isn't the actual biological father, then you actually have to get BOTH fathers to sign the paperwork relinquishing rights. (At least that's the case in WA.) IMO, the answer is here, posted on page 1. We don't fully know what she really wants or not, but it appears what she *does* want is to be able to determine the baby's destiny by herself.
No Dad involved.
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Post by Opti on Oct 10, 2014 10:11:12 GMT -5
Of course it's fishy but at this point only two things matter: 1. Is she pregnant. If yes then 2. Get paternity test when child is born That is the plan unless they can convince her to test early. But we can't figure out why they are pushing the relinquish the rights. I think its pretty obvious, see reply #17.
If one looks at this objectively and not with the viewpoint girl bad, boy not so much and might be taken advantage of - more things become clear.
1) It was in boy's power all along for this to not happen. He just was lazy and decided to not use a condom.
2) Maybe she is having unprotected sex because she wants a baby. Some young girls do this because they feel they can get the love they never got growing up, from the baby.
Then they find out using babies as unconditional love sources is not the greatest idea...
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Oct 10, 2014 10:14:05 GMT -5
Baby mama is 18 as well. Baby mama had BF (I use the term loosely because they weren't together very long). Broke up with him on Friday and was sleeping with Friends son by the following friday. They "date" for about two weeks when son breaks it off. She has new BF three days later. So you can see where he would be questioning if it's his. But still the potential is there. The fact that she is so specific (I'm exactly x weeks along and that when we did it and dr says I was ovulating then) makes me think she's just wants it to be his- rather than him being the only possibility. Yes, the can test for paternity now with a simple blood test from the mother- but at this point she is refusing to test until baby is born. This has been a public service announcement from the "KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS, DUMBASS" coalition. Lets be fair and stop dissing female teens more than male teens for having the same amount of sex with the same amount of partners.
Your friend might have a Baby Daddy on their hands. She might be a Baby Momma. Seems kind of equal to me...
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Oct 10, 2014 11:08:30 GMT -5
Baby mama is 18 as well. Baby mama had BF (I use the term loosely because they weren't together very long). Broke up with him on Friday and was sleeping with Friends son by the following friday. They "date" for about two weeks when son breaks it off. She has new BF three days later. So you can see where he would be questioning if it's his. But still the potential is there. The fact that she is so specific (I'm exactly x weeks along and that when we did it and dr says I was ovulating then) makes me think she's just wants it to be his- rather than him being the only possibility. Yes, the can test for paternity now with a simple blood test from the mother- but at this point she is refusing to test until baby is born. This has been a public service announcement from the "KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS, DUMBASS" coalition. Lets be fair and stop dissing female teens more than male teens for having the same amount of sex with the same amount of partners.
Your friend might have a Baby Daddy on their hands. She might be a Baby Momma. Seems kind of equal to me...
Update- She went to the dr yesterday and had ultrasound. Ultra sound shows baby is approx 6 weeks along. They had a summit meeting last night. Her mom is pushing her to keep the baby, but won't stop her from getting abortion- just won't go with her. Girl admitted that there was only 7 days between guy # 1 and friends son. Still says emphatically it's his and won't get paternity test until baby is born. And I'm not dissing the girl for having more than him for having sex. They were both stupid and irresponsible. Him probably more so because he failed to realize that he has no say in what happens next- that is naive on his part. But I don't think it's right that she fail to acknowledge that it may be someone elses. Approx 6 weeks along and there is only a week a part between guys. You have to admit that either is a possibility.
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Oct 10, 2014 11:09:46 GMT -5
Baby mama is 18 as well. Baby mama had BF (I use the term loosely because they weren't together very long). Broke up with him on Friday and was sleeping with Friends son by the following friday. They "date" for about two weeks when son breaks it off. She has new BF three days later. So you can see where he would be questioning if it's his. But still the potential is there. The fact that she is so specific (I'm exactly x weeks along and that when we did it and dr says I was ovulating then) makes me think she's just wants it to be his- rather than him being the only possibility. Yes, the can test for paternity now with a simple blood test from the mother- but at this point she is refusing to test until baby is born. This has been a public service announcement from the "KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS, DUMBASS" coalition. Lets be fair and stop dissing female teens more than male teens for having the same amount of sex with the same amount of partners.
Your friend might have a Baby Daddy on their hands. She might be a Baby Momma. Seems kind of equal to me...
I am not seeing where there is disrespect being given to other party until the last sentence. The quoted material simply lists her alleged activity. The last statement is not specific to gender but with a reference to "it" being being kept in pants as opposed to simply keeping pants on, it suggests to me that it is the male who is being called a "DUMBASS" i.e. the male is being dissed.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Oct 10, 2014 11:13:56 GMT -5
and on a related side note: My DN, then 21, moved in with his GF who they believed could be pregnant. It turned out she was not, but certainly could have been. I asked DN how that could be true - didn't he know if she used birth control? No, he replied; he didn't know her well enough then to ask.
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teen persuasion
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Post by teen persuasion on Oct 10, 2014 11:14:20 GMT -5
This is happening to a friend of mine and boy does it make me want to Her son is 18 and has been screwing everything under the sun since he broke up with her girlfriend 3 months ago. Well lo and behold, one of the girls is pregnant. He is finally starting to get the reality of unprotected sex and the consequences of his actions. But here is the weird part. They only went out for about 2 weeks. The second of those two weeks (so the week after they had sex) she started complaining about not feeling well and wondering if it was morning sickness. Three weeks after they met- she tells him she's pregnant. Now she is supposedly 6 weeks along which is to the day when they had unprotected sex. She told him that she was going to get the morning after pill. Unsure if she did that or not. She's been to the dr but has not had an ultrasound. But to me it just seems too convenient. Yes, it's possible it's his. But weirder yet, is that they are already asking him to relinquish his rights. I told my friend that she needs to talk with her son and not do anything until they have a paternity test. But I can't figure out why the would be asking him to relinquish so fast, other that he would be stating that it is his. Again, yeah it's possible- but the morning sickness after a week and the rights thing has me wondering if he's just the best candidate for the father. What say you? If the bolded part above is true, it is less likely the boy is the father. They had sex 6 weeks ago, AND she is 6 weeks pregnant? If she is 6 weeks pregnant, she probably ovulated only 4 weeks ago. Doctors always count weeks pregnant from your last period, not ovulation, effectively adding two or so weeks. So if he is the father, she should be 8 weeks pregnant. If she is 6 weeks pregnant, it was 4 weeks ago, after they broke up. And yet, she was claiming morning sickness 5 weeks ago...
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Oct 10, 2014 11:27:45 GMT -5
This is happening to a friend of mine and boy does it make me want to Her son is 18 and has been screwing everything under the sun since he broke up with her girlfriend 3 months ago. Well lo and behold, one of the girls is pregnant. He is finally starting to get the reality of unprotected sex and the consequences of his actions. But here is the weird part. They only went out for about 2 weeks. The second of those two weeks (so the week after they had sex) she started complaining about not feeling well and wondering if it was morning sickness. Three weeks after they met- she tells him she's pregnant. Now she is supposedly 6 weeks along which is to the day when they had unprotected sex. She told him that she was going to get the morning after pill. Unsure if she did that or not. She's been to the dr but has not had an ultrasound. But to me it just seems too convenient. Yes, it's possible it's his. But weirder yet, is that they are already asking him to relinquish his rights. I told my friend that she needs to talk with her son and not do anything until they have a paternity test. But I can't figure out why the would be asking him to relinquish so fast, other that he would be stating that it is his. Again, yeah it's possible- but the morning sickness after a week and the rights thing has me wondering if he's just the best candidate for the father. What say you? If the bolded part above is true, it is less likely the boy is the father. They had sex 6 weeks ago, AND she is 6 weeks pregnant? If she is 6 weeks pregnant, she probably ovulated only 4 weeks ago. Doctors always count weeks pregnant from your last period, not ovulation, effectively adding two or so weeks. So if he is the father, she should be 8 weeks pregnant. If she is 6 weeks pregnant, it was 4 weeks ago, after they broke up. And yet, she was claiming morning sickness 5 weeks ago... That's the part friend and son are struggling with now. Since girl went to Dr alone , not sure the exact vernacular dr used. By what she said is the due date they should be calling her 9 weeks along. But dr may have said, it's about 6 weeks along by measurement and here is the likely conception period so that is what she is repeating. Not sure if she would have told dr there are two possible fathers. But she did say that it's not unusual for the first baby to be late.
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