Baby drama!

[Abby Normal]

This is happening to a friend of mine and boy does it make me want to 

Her son is 18 and has been screwing everything under the sun since he broke up with her girlfriend 3 months ago.  Well lo and behold, one of the girls is pregnant.  He is finally starting to get the reality of unprotected sex and the consequences of his actions.  But here is the weird part.    They only went out for about 2 weeks.  The second of those two weeks (so the week after they had sex) she started complaining about not feeling well and wondering if it was morning sickness.  Three weeks after they met- she tells him she's pregnant. Now she is supposedly 6 weeks along which is to the day when they had unprotected sex.  She told him that she was going to get the morning after pill.  Unsure if she did that or not.  She's been to the dr but has not had an ultrasound.

But to me it just seems too convenient. Yes, it's possible it's his.  But weirder yet, is that  they are already asking him to relinquish his rights. 
I told my friend that she needs to talk with her son and not do anything until they have a paternity test.  But I can't figure out why the would be asking him to relinquish so fast, other that he would be stating that it is his.  

Again, yeah it's possible- but the morning sickness after a week and the rights thing has me wondering if he's just the best candidate for the father.

What say you?

[Chocolate Lover]

I'd say she's full of it saying it's his, but luck may be on her side. If she was willing to be unprotected with him, there are probably others in the time frame he knows nothing about. I'd definitely wait and see on paternity.

[andreawick]

yeah....I'd definitely wait to find out some more info. It sounds pretty suspicious....

[The Captain]

I hope he's getting checked for STD's. 

[swamp]

you generally don't even know you're pregnant until 4 weeks. You dont' have morning sickness the first week.

paternity test, definitely.

[greeniis10]

Waaaay too early to tell.  It's going to be a LONG 8 - 9 months but, sounds like he's just going to have to deal with it best he can until a paternity test is done.  In the meantime he should NOT sign any legal documents they may start shoving at him.  Sounds really suspicious...

[ArchietheDragon]

Oct 9, 2014 10:57:04 GMT -5 Abby Normal said:

This is happening to a friend of mine and boy does it make me want to 

Her son is 18 and has been screwing everything under the sun since he broke up with her girlfriend 3 months ago.  Well lo and behold, one of the girls is pregnant.  He is finally starting to get the reality of unprotected sex and the consequences of his actions.  But here is the weird part.    They only went out for about 2 weeks.  The second of those two weeks (so the week after they had sex) she started complaining about not feeling well and wondering if it was morning sickness.  Three weeks after they met- she tells him she's pregnant. Now she is supposedly 6 weeks along which is to the day when they had unprotected sex.  She told him that she was going to get the morning after pill.  Unsure if she did that or not.  She's been to the dr but has not had an ultrasound.

But to me it just seems too convenient. Yes, it's possible it's his.  But weirder yet, is that  they are already asking him to relinquish his rights. 
I told my friend that she needs to talk with her son and not do anything until they have a paternity test.  But I can't figure out why the would be asking him to relinquish so fast, other that he would be stating that it is his.  

Again, yeah it's possible- but the morning sickness after a week and the rights thing has me wondering if he's just the best candidate for the father.

What say you?

If they are asking for him to relinquish his rights it doesn't sound like they don't think he is much of  a candidate to be a father.

[Pants]

Oct 9, 2014 10:57:04 GMT -5 Abby Normal said:

This is happening to a friend of mine and boy does it make me want to 

Her son is 18 and has been screwing everything under the sun since he broke up with her girlfriend 3 months ago.  Well lo and behold, one of the girls is pregnant.  He is finally starting to get the reality of unprotected sex and the consequences of his actions.  But here is the weird part.    They only went out for about 2 weeks.  The second of those two weeks (so the week after they had sex) she started complaining about not feeling well and wondering if it was morning sickness.  Three weeks after they met- she tells him she's pregnant. Now she is supposedly 6 weeks along which is to the day when they had unprotected sex.  She told him that she was going to get the morning after pill.  Unsure if she did that or not.  She's been to the dr but has not had an ultrasound.

But to me it just seems too convenient. Yes, it's possible it's his.  But weirder yet, is that  they are already asking him to relinquish his rights. 
I told my friend that she needs to talk with her son and not do anything until they have a paternity test.  But I can't figure out why the would be asking him to relinquish so fast, other that he would be stating that it is his.  

Again, yeah it's possible- but the morning sickness after a week and the rights thing has me wondering if he's just the best candidate for the father.

What say you?

That timeline is potentially correct. And I had morning-sickness after a week.

He may just be the best candidate, but it's also likely he's the father. Don't do anything without a paternity test.

[swamp]

I don't think you can sign away rights before the kid is even born..........

If the mom gets welfare assistance for the birth, dad is on the hook for costs, whether or not he signed away his rights prior to birth.

[ArchietheDragon]

Oct 9, 2014 11:18:03 GMT -5 swamp said:

I don't think you can sign away rights before the kid is even born..........

Don't they do that with adoptions?   I know that is not this case.. 

[Deleted]

Oct 9, 2014 10:57:04 GMT -5 Abby Normal said:

 She told him that she was going to get the morning after pill.  Unsure if she did that or not.  She's been to the dr but has not had an ultrasound.

I don't think that works unless you use it within a few days. I'd be darned worried about what damage you'd cause to the fetus if you took it and it didn't work- it's basically a ton of hormones.

Some women do swear that they feel miserable from Day 1 (the late Princess Diana once said that), but I agree, it's too convenient here. I REALLY hope the young man has learned his lesson about the consequences of indiscriminate unprotected sex.

[justme]

I'm pretty sure you can't sign the adoption papers until after the kid is born. 

[Deleted]

Oct 9, 2014 11:19:16 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Oct 9, 2014 11:18:03 GMT -5 swamp said:

I don't think you can sign away rights before the kid is even born..........

Don't they do that with adoptions?   I know that is not this case.. 

I don't think adoptions are a done deal until after the birth.  Hence all the dissapointed potential parents when birth mom changes her mind.

[Abby Normal]

Apparently she had a boyfriend a week before and the a new one right after they "broke up" .  I have a hard time calling it that.

But what would be the push for signing before they establish paternity?  Would that limit his ability to test for paternity later or make the results immaterial for support?  In other words, if he should sign it (which he's not) then later find out it's not his,  would they still expect him to pay support because he signed.  Just wondering the motivation in the push.

They can test for paternity as soon as 8 weeks pregnant now with some new fangled testing.  Hopefully they can get this and he doesn't have to wait 9 months to find out.

[Abby Normal]

Oct 9, 2014 11:23:21 GMT -5 @athena53 said:

Oct 9, 2014 10:57:04 GMT -5 Abby Normal said:

 She told him that she was going to get the morning after pill.  Unsure if she did that or not.  She's been to the dr but has not had an ultrasound.

I don't think that works unless you use it within a few days. I'd be darned worried about what damage you'd cause to the fetus if you took it and it didn't work- it's basically a ton of hormones.

Some women do swear that they feel miserable from Day 1 (the late Princess Diana once said that), but I agree, it's too convenient here. I REALLY hope the young man has learned his lesson about the consequences of indiscriminate unprotected sex.

She told him she was going to get it right after they had sex.  Not later.  Sorry if that wasnt clear.

[Deleted]

Oct 9, 2014 11:23:21 GMT -5 @athena53 said:

Oct 9, 2014 10:57:04 GMT -5 Abby Normal said:

 She told him that she was going to get the morning after pill.  Unsure if she did that or not.  She's been to the dr but has not had an ultrasound.

I don't think that works unless you use it within a few days. I'd be darned worried about what damage you'd cause to the fetus if you took it and it didn't work- it's basically a ton of hormones.

Some women do swear that they feel miserable from Day 1 (the late Princess Diana once said that), but I agree, it's too convenient here. I REALLY hope the young man has learned his lesson about the consequences of indiscriminate unprotected sex.

please don't spread false information.  plan B does not cause any damage to the fetus and if you're already pregnant (implanted) it has no effect.   there are plenty of women who continued to take birth control pills without knowing they were pregnant

[Angel!]

So many things wrong. 
- You can't do morning after once the egg has implanted...if she has been sick it is too late.  There are other pills that can be taken at this point though.
- Second, she isn't 6 weeks along if she is counting to the date of intercourse.  Weeks are actually counted from your last period.  So generally the day you have sex you are actually "2 weeks pregnant" already.
- Third, How many days after sex was she not feeling well?  It generally takes 7-10 days after fertilization to implant.  It is possible she is very sensitive & started not feeling well quick.  But, that still can't happen until the egg is actually implanted AFAIK. 
- Someone needs to go with her to the doc, get the ultrasound & figure out how far along she actually is & use that to figure out when sex likely occured.  Good chance it isn't his with the timeframe given. 
- And definitely paternity test


FWIW - I got sick very early on.  With two of mine I was sick before I ever missed a period.  But, I also think I ovulate very early because I was testing positive on one kid 10 days before I missed my period (and I already wasn't feeling well).  But, it doesn't matter when she ovulates, the question is how soon she got sick after they had sex, because if it was like 4 days I don't think that is possible.

[shanendoah]

If he signs to relinquish all rights to the child, that usually means they can not go after him for child support, though it may depend on state laws.

It might be likely that her plan is to give the baby up for adoption, but thinks that the previous boyfriend (other possible bio-dad) won't agree to that. So, she's pushing this young man to claim the child by relinquishing his rights. 

But here's what they don't know- if the father of record (ie on birth certificate) isn't the actual biological father, then you actually have to get BOTH fathers to sign the paperwork relinquishing rights. (At least that's the case in WA.)

[Deleted]

Oct 9, 2014 11:38:23 GMT -5 shanendoah said:

If he signs to relinquish all rights to the child, that usually means they can not go after him for child support, though it may depend on state laws.

It might be likely that her plan is to give the baby up for adoption, but thinks that the previous boyfriend (other possible bio-dad) won't agree to that. So, she's pushing this young man to claim the child by relinquishing his rights. 

But here's what they don't know- if the father of record (ie on birth certificate) isn't the actual biological father, then you actually have to get BOTH fathers to sign the paperwork relinquishing rights. (At least that's the case in WA.)

That's where I was thinking they were going with this too. 

[haapai]

I think that your friend would be wise to question her son's story.  Is she? 

I'm having flashbacks to the loud, one-sided cellphone conversation that my neighbor's son had in the back yard a few years ago.  It couldn't be his, they'd been together (not the words he used) only once, on this date, it couldn't be, etc, etc. 

He was pretty adamant.  No quiver of doubt or fear undermined what he was saying. 

Of course he turned out to be the biological father. 

[justme]

Oct 9, 2014 11:36:36 GMT -5 Angel! said:

So many things wrong. 
- You can't do morning after once the egg has implanted...if she has been sick it is too late.  There are other pills that can be taken at this point though.
- Second, she isn't 6 weeks along if she is counting to the date of intercourse.  Weeks are actually counted from your last period.  So generally the day you have sex you are actually "2 weeks pregnant" already.
- Third, How many days after sex was she not feeling well?  It generally takes 7-10 days after fertilization to implant.  It is possible she is very sensitive & started not feeling well quick.  But, that still can't happen until the egg is actually implanted AFAIK. 
- Someone needs to go with her to the doc, get the ultrasound & figure out how far along she actually is & use that to figure out when sex likely occured.  Good chance it isn't his with the timeframe given. 
- And definitely paternity test


FWIW - I got sick very early on.  With two of mine I was sick before I ever missed a period.  But, I also think I ovulate very early because I was testing positive on one kid 10 days before I missed my period (and I already wasn't feeling well).  But, it doesn't matter when she ovulates, the question is how soon she got sick after they had sex, because if it was like 4 days I don't think that is possible.

Just to clarify - Plan B is mostly ineffectual after you have ovulated. It's main goal in preventing pregnancy is to stop ovulation (like BC pills). Secondarily, it may stop implantation but that's not what it mainly relies on because the pill would have to cause your lining to shed enough before the egg tries to implant. They don't explain that very well, as someone I know found out when it didn't work and I asked whether she had any idea when she normally ovulates. 

I think the newer one that you can take longer after unprotected sex is more effectual at stopping implantation. 

[souldoubt]

I'd say he tells her he wants a paternity test once the kid is born.  If it's his man up and if it isn't bullet dodged and hopefully lesson learned.  I have a buddy who was in a somewhat similar situation as far as the fact that they hadn't known each other long and she got pregnant.  He told her if the kid was his he would do the right thing but he wanted to make sure it was his.  It was and they eventually got married and are still together raising their son.  This day and age when courts have ruled non-bio dads have established that they're supporting a kid and still get put on the hook financially you're a fool to not ask for a paternity test if you're even the slightest bit unsure.  

[taz157]

Oct 9, 2014 11:13:53 GMT -5 swamp said:

you generally don't even know you're pregnant until 4 weeks. You dont' have morning sickness the first week.

paternity test, definitely.

Yeah that! I didn't start "feeling" pregnant (besides the positive test) until 6.5 weeks.

[Abby Normal]

To clear the time line- let me see if I can give some info without giving exact dates.

Day 1-  unprotected sex-  she tell him she'll get morning after pill.

day 12 (approx)- she starts complaining that she isn't feeling well- thinks it might be morning sickness.

day 23- tell him she's pregnant.  

day 30- says she's considering abortion

day 40- says she's decided to keep it and wants him to relinquish rights





She says now that if he relinquishes his rights she won't ask for CS, but not sure that is legal here.  I told my friend they might want to go consult with an attorney and she is now saying she won't do a paternity test until after baby is born.  Not sure why since they can do one with a simple blood test now. 

[midjd]

Something similar happened to DH's cousin very shortly after he started dating his now-wife. They'd been together maybe a week when she showed him a positive pregnancy test. The next week (so -- she is now allegedly at most 2 weeks pregnant) she shows him an ultrasound. Now convinced that she is pregnant and he is the father, he throws away the condoms and they begin having unprotected sex. About a year later, she finally gives birth to an 8lb baby. Longest gestation in history. 

In this situation, it's possible the friend's kid could be the father -- but like others have said, he shouldn't sign ANYTHING until after the kid is born and has been paternity tested.

[Abby Normal]

Oct 9, 2014 11:48:13 GMT -5 haapai said:

I think that your friend would be wise to question her son's story.  Is she? 

I'm having flashbacks to the loud, one-sided cellphone conversation that my neighbor's son had in the back yard a few years ago.  It couldn't be his, they'd been together (not the words he used) only once, on this date, it couldn't be, etc, etc. 

He was pretty adamant.  No quiver of doubt or fear undermined what he was saying. 

Of course he turned out to be the biological father. 

Oh it's definitely possible it's his.  But friend is hearing about the girl from other (reliable) sources. But most of sons and girls "talking" is via text so there isn't a whole lot to debate.

Girl is saying it's definitely his, but there seems to be the chance that it is someone elses and she doesn't want to admit that.  Her story is almost to exact, unless she was trying to get pregnant.

[Angel!]

Day 12 feeling unwell is definitely possible. 

I find something fishy about her overall attitude though.  It is as though she thought she could get pregnant all along or was intending to get pregnant all along.  Or she was already pregnant & playing it up so he would buy it.  He could have just been a patsy in all this.  She knew she was pregnant, but needed the right guy to call the "father".  Or she just wanted a baby & doesn't want dad involved.

[souldoubt]

Of course it's fishy but at this point only two things matter:

1. Is she pregnant.  If yes then

2. Get paternity test when child is born

If it's not his she wouldn't be the first or the last woman to try something like this.  

[Abby Normal]

Oct 9, 2014 12:03:51 GMT -5 souldoubt said:

Of course it's fishy but at this point only two things matter:

1. Is she pregnant.  If yes then

2. Get paternity test when child is born

That is the plan unless they can convince her to test early.  But we can't figure out why they are pushing the relinquish the rights. 

[ArchietheDragon]

Oct 9, 2014 12:05:55 GMT -5 Abby Normal said:

Oct 9, 2014 12:03:51 GMT -5 souldoubt said:

Of course it's fishy but at this point only two things matter:

1. Is she pregnant.  If yes then

2. Get paternity test when child is born

That is the plan unless they can convince her to test early.  But we can't figure out why they are pushing the relinquish the rights. 

Maybe her parents don't want the bastard that got their little girl pregnant involved.