souldoubt
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Post by souldoubt on Oct 9, 2014 12:14:30 GMT -5
Of course it's fishy but at this point only two things matter: 1. Is she pregnant. If yes then 2. Get paternity test when child is born That is the plan unless they can convince her to test early. But we can't figure out why they are pushing the relinquish the rights. Disclaimer - I'm definitely not a lawyer. I'm guessing this can vary state by state but I know someone who had a kid that they gave up to the grandparents as she was in no position to raise the kid. Now the kid is a teenager, the grandparents are divorced but they split custody of the child. One of the grandparents went after the mother for support and from what I heard the state sided with her and went after the mother as well.
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Oct 9, 2014 12:20:08 GMT -5
That is the plan unless they can convince her to test early. But we can't figure out why they are pushing the relinquish the rights. Maybe her parents don't want the bastard that got their little girl pregnant involved. Then she (single mom) should not have let her little girl have overnights guests. She was there when the "kids" were making a baby. Nice huh? Nothing says romantic like Mom in the next room.
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justme
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Post by justme on Oct 9, 2014 12:26:46 GMT -5
Of course it's fishy but at this point only two things matter: 1. Is she pregnant. If yes then 2. Get paternity test when child is born That is the plan unless they can convince her to test early. But we can't figure out why they are pushing the relinquish the rights. This is completely cynical, but... IF they live in a state where a parent can't relinquish their rights without someone stepping up (i.e. adoption, whether by a new couple or a step-parent situation) it could (not a lawyer, so not sure) be used as evidence of him claiming the child is. Because you can't give up a child that you don't first claim is yours anyways. So if he legally can't do that in the state, it could be used as well he claimed the child so he's the father. Which also depending on the state might mean more than a DNA test if they don't know who the real dad is. Kind of like how all children born in wedlock are the husband's responsibility unless the actual father steps up (and even then if the husband makes more sometimes he's still stuck with CS).
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sam
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Post by sam on Oct 9, 2014 12:39:43 GMT -5
Do you know who broke up with who in her last relationship? Is there any chance she got pregnant on purpose (with the son) to get the old boyfriend back by telling him he's (old boyfriend) the father?
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Oct 9, 2014 12:41:11 GMT -5
She told him that she was going to get the morning after pill. Unsure if she did that or not. She's been to the dr but has not had an ultrasound. I don't think that works unless you use it within a few days. I'd be darned worried about what damage you'd cause to the fetus if you took it and it didn't work- it's basically a ton of hormones.
Some women do swear that they feel miserable from Day 1 (the late Princess Diana once said that), but I agree, it's too convenient here. I REALLY hope the young man has learned his lesson about the consequences of indiscriminate unprotected sex.
It doesn't do anything to the fetus once the egg has implanted.
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steph08
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Post by steph08 on Oct 9, 2014 12:42:13 GMT -5
When I got pregnant, I tested positive 10 days after ovulation. I pretty much knew I was pregnant before that (probably 7-8 days after ovulation) because of the way I felt. I didn't have morning sickness, but I know people that have been sick since implantation. So your timeline doesn't seem that off to me.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Oct 9, 2014 12:46:56 GMT -5
They only went out for about 2 weeks. The second of those two weeks (so the week after they had sex) she started complaining about not feeling well and wondering if it was morning sickness. Three weeks after they met- she tells him she's pregnant. Now she is supposedly 6 weeks along which is to the day when they had unprotected sex. She told him that she was going to get the morning after pill. Unsure if she did that or not. She's been to the dr but has not had an ultrasound.
It's possible. If she was ovulating when they had sex the first time, she would likely be due her period in 10-14 days (depending on cycle). So in 3 weeks, she could have ovulated and missed her period.
Morning after pill works best if taken within 48 hours of unprotected sex. After 72 hours, efficacy goes down.
That being said, my brother could have written this script when he had his oldest.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Oct 9, 2014 12:47:27 GMT -5
Ugh, this makes my skin crawl. Kids + babies + manipulation + lying = bad, bad times.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Oct 9, 2014 12:49:12 GMT -5
I thought that even if you signed away paternal rights, you were still on the hook for child support unless someone else adopted the baby.
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sesfw
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Post by sesfw on Oct 9, 2014 12:54:12 GMT -5
Being a teen I don't know if he can legally sign papers of any kind. Have him wait until after the child is born and have a paternity test done.
Maybe sweating out these few months in limbo will do a world of good for him.
Maybe signing away parental rights will get more county/state assistance for her? Don't know.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Oct 9, 2014 12:57:52 GMT -5
Maybe sweating out these few months in limbo will do a world of good for him. If he's not the father, then he's really damn lucky and hopefully will continue dwelling on the bullet he dodged for many years to come. I say this all the time, but I don't understand how even very young people can be so cavalier about the possibility of having kids they're in no way ready to support. Personally, I was terrified of that from the word go.
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Oct 9, 2014 13:03:21 GMT -5
Maybe sweating out these few months in limbo will do a world of good for him. If he's not the father, then he's really damn lucky and hopefully will continue dwelling on the bullet he dodged for many years to come. I say this all the time, but I don't understand how even very young people can be so cavalier about the possibility of having kids they're in no way ready to support. Personally, I was terrified of that from the word go. You can say that again. Apparently he nearly lost it when he realized he'd have to pay support. Duh. It's definitely been a wake up call for him. Good for conversation with my DS. He's only 13 but better to start to talk now.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Oct 9, 2014 14:01:44 GMT -5
Can you even usually relinquish rights? I thought they generally reserved this for when you had someone adopting or were someone that clearly should not be in the child's life.
I don't see this even happening regardless of what mom wants. The state almost always wants 2 parents providing support for the kid. How many guys would just give up rights if given the opportunity?
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Oct 9, 2014 14:05:18 GMT -5
Can you even usually relinquish rights? I thought they generally reserved this for when you had someone adopting or were someone that clearly should not be in the child's life. I don't see this even happening regardless of what mom wants. The state almost always wants 2 parents providing support for the kid. How many guys would just give up rights if given the opportunity? I know of one that tried, not that he'd ever admit it. My niece's father is a real gem, let me tell you. He'd rather give her up than pay child support. He didn't get to though. You can't do it for any old reason, at least not in the state they live in.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Oct 9, 2014 14:07:09 GMT -5
Ugh, this makes my skin crawl. Kids + babies + manipulation + lying = bad, bad times. To be fair, we don't know that the last 2 items are the case, and it sucks that our assumption is that this girl is lying and manipulating. We always want people to plan, and she could just be trying to make the most of a bad situation. If I had gotten knocked up in highschool and wanted to keep the baby I would absolutely be trying to get dad to sign away his rights. Much easier to raise baby on my own, than to spend the next 2 decades raising the baby with someone I "dated" for 2 weeks. Hell, that would be my plan if I got knocked up as an adult.
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Oct 9, 2014 14:24:20 GMT -5
Ugh, this makes my skin crawl. Kids + babies + manipulation + lying = bad, bad times. To be fair, we don't know that the last 2 items are the case, and it sucks that our assumption is that this girl is lying and manipulating. We always want people to plan, and she could just be trying to make the most of a bad situation. If I had gotten knocked up in highschool and wanted to keep the baby I would absolutely be trying to get dad to sign away his rights. Much easier to raise baby on my own, than to spend the next 2 decades raising the baby with someone I "dated" for 2 weeks. Hell, that would be my plan if I got knocked up as an adult. That is true. When my friend first found out she was very matter of fact " how do we proceed from here"- but theres been a lot of back drama surfacing in the last couple days that is making her question the girls motives. For instance- the girl posted on facebook about how he was immature and a deadbeat and wouldn't man up to his responsibilities. That seems premature since she hadn't yet decided what she was going to do. I'm not sure what his reaction was when she told him though. Maybe he said "your problem" who knows.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Oct 9, 2014 14:27:18 GMT -5
To be fair, we don't know that the last 2 items are the case, and it sucks that our assumption is that this girl is lying and manipulating. We always want people to plan, and she could just be trying to make the most of a bad situation. If I had gotten knocked up in highschool and wanted to keep the baby I would absolutely be trying to get dad to sign away his rights. Much easier to raise baby on my own, than to spend the next 2 decades raising the baby with someone I "dated" for 2 weeks. Hell, that would be my plan if I got knocked up as an adult. That is true. When my friend first found out she was very matter of fact " how do we proceed from here"- but theres been a lot of back drama surfacing in the last couple days that is making her question the girls motives. For instance- the girl posted on facebook about how he was immature and a deadbeat and wouldn't man up to his responsibilities. That seems premature since she hadn't yet decided what she was going to do. I'm not sure what his reaction was when she told him though. Maybe he said "your problem" who knows. Or she's trying to embarrass him into claiming the kid with no proof. Yeah, I'm cynical.
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moon/Laura
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Post by moon/Laura on Oct 9, 2014 14:33:24 GMT -5
I don't think you can sign away rights before the kid is even born..........
Don't they do that with adoptions? I know that is not this case.. Not for me when I gave up my eldest. The adoption ceremony didn't even take place until about 6 months after he was born.
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imawino
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Post by imawino on Oct 9, 2014 14:38:10 GMT -5
Of course it's fishy but at this point only two things matter: 1. Is she pregnant. If yes then 2. Get paternity test when child is born That is the plan unless they can convince her to test early. But we can't figure out why they are pushing the relinquish the rights. Does she have a new boyfriend? Maybe friend's son really is the father, but she wants the father to be new boyfriend.
Can't wait for you to send us the link to their Maury episode!!
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Oct 9, 2014 14:40:25 GMT -5
Ugh, this makes my skin crawl. Kids + babies + manipulation + lying = bad, bad times. To be fair, we don't know that the last 2 items are the case, and it sucks that our assumption is that this girl is lying and manipulating. We always want people to plan, and she could just be trying to make the most of a bad situation. If I had gotten knocked up in highschool and wanted to keep the baby I would absolutely be trying to get dad to sign away his rights. Much easier to raise baby on my own, than to spend the next 2 decades raising the baby with someone I "dated" for 2 weeks. Hell, that would be my plan if I got knocked up as an adult. maybe she is a slut.
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Oct 9, 2014 14:42:22 GMT -5
To be fair, we don't know that the last 2 items are the case, and it sucks that our assumption is that this girl is lying and manipulating. We always want people to plan, and she could just be trying to make the most of a bad situation. If I had gotten knocked up in highschool and wanted to keep the baby I would absolutely be trying to get dad to sign away his rights. Much easier to raise baby on my own, than to spend the next 2 decades raising the baby with someone I "dated" for 2 weeks. Hell, that would be my plan if I got knocked up as an adult. maybe she is a slut. So what if she is?
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Oct 9, 2014 14:43:07 GMT -5
then maybe I can get her digits.
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greeniis10
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Post by greeniis10 on Oct 9, 2014 14:46:24 GMT -5
Can you even usually relinquish rights? I thought they generally reserved this for when you had someone adopting or were someone that clearly should not be in the child's life. I don't see this even happening regardless of what mom wants. The state almost always wants 2 parents providing support for the kid. How many guys would just give up rights if given the opportunity? Yes, my ex-H did 22 years ago. He was cheating on me and the girl got pregnant. We were still married at that point and he decided he'd rather stay with me so she (baby mama) and her boyfriend had papers drawn up, we all went to a lawyers office, and ex signed over rights to the baby. Boyfriend adopted the boy and raised him as his own. Not sure if the impending adoption influenced the ability of ex to give up rights, though? It was all a blur back then so I don't remember the details.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Oct 9, 2014 14:47:57 GMT -5
To be fair, we don't know that the last 2 items are the case, and it sucks that our assumption is that this girl is lying and manipulating. We always want people to plan, and she could just be trying to make the most of a bad situation. If I had gotten knocked up in highschool and wanted to keep the baby I would absolutely be trying to get dad to sign away his rights. Much easier to raise baby on my own, than to spend the next 2 decades raising the baby with someone I "dated" for 2 weeks. Hell, that would be my plan if I got knocked up as an adult. That is true. When my friend first found out she was very matter of fact " how do we proceed from here"- but theres been a lot of back drama surfacing in the last couple days that is making her question the girls motives. For instance- the girl posted on facebook about how he was immature and a deadbeat and wouldn't man up to his responsibilities. That seems premature since she hadn't yet decided what she was going to do. I'm not sure what his reaction was when she told him though. Maybe he said "your problem" who knows. As I was humbly reminded this week after complaining about stupid facebook posts--I am truly grateful facebook wasn't around when I was a teenager. To have the angst, uncertainty, and drama thrown out for everyone to see how ridiculous I was would be awful. I'm not saying the concerns aren't valid. I would get a paternity test and I would be very cautious about how to proceed but teenagers are stupid and as much as your friend can, she should try not to engage in any drama or undermine baby mama to his son. Only the facts matter. It could be her sons baby and helping guide him through the steps he needs to be taking should be the focus. Staying cordial with the girl and her family because if that is his kid they could be dealing with each other for a very, very long time. He needs to get the paternity test set up, and figure out what that is going to mean for him if it is his. For his sake, I hope it isn't his and this is a huge wake up call and I hope baby mama has support from her family to get through this as well.
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haapai
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Post by haapai on Oct 9, 2014 14:50:48 GMT -5
I'm somewhat surprised that we haven't yet drawn our daggers and started circling the girl's mom.
I'm getting a serious monster-mama vibe off her. The papers were definitely her idea and if he signs them, Mama's little girl is much more likely to stay exactly where she is for a long time.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Oct 9, 2014 14:52:17 GMT -5
I'm somewhat surprised that we haven't yet drawn our daggers and started circling the girl's mom. I'm getting a serious monster-mama vibe off her. The papers were definitely her idea and if he signs them, Mama's little girl is much more likely to stay exactly where she is for a long time. I'm not following? Is baby mama 18 too?
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Oct 9, 2014 14:57:44 GMT -5
Pray for a miscarriage?
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haapai
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Post by haapai on Oct 9, 2014 14:58:17 GMT -5
If you saddle your 18-ish daughter with a child and get the sperm donor out of the picture, your daughter is unlikely to leave you alone any time soon.
There are parents like this.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Oct 9, 2014 15:00:54 GMT -5
To be fair, we don't know that the last 2 items are the case, and it sucks that our assumption is that this girl is lying and manipulating.
Fair point, but I wasn't assuming she was a manipulative liar because she was a girl. The fact that she immediately announced she was pregnant the week after they had sex suggests foul play to me though.
Who gets an upset tummy and automatically assumes pregnancy the week after having sex with someone, particularly an 18 year old? To me, that doesn't pass the sniff test. Frankly, that suggests to me that the baby was some other guy's and she was further than one week into the pregnancy.
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Oct 9, 2014 15:03:16 GMT -5
Who gets an upset tummy and automatically assumes pregnancy the week after having sex with someone, particularly an 18 year old? To me, that doesn't pass the sniff test. A girl who was worried about getting pregnant because she stupidly had unproductive sex with some guy.
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