tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Aug 30, 2014 9:19:23 GMT -5
I've met someone I really like (sheesh! she is a woman!) and my heart goes on to her and I am looking for the answer to the issue and can't think of any. She is married for over 20 years to indifferent man who is her friend and partner in life and they are living comfortably together. Settled. No sparks. 3 years ago she had met this married man whom she fell in love with and had relationships. Not just physical. She was a second wife kind of. They had done things together, went places, helped each other with things on as needed basis. Then he said he can't do it anymore.
I had met her when she was in pieces after 6 month after break up. She still is collecting herself scrubbing herself off the floor and looking for an answer why?
Why are men going back to their (older, less attractive, non-sexual) wives if they can have younger, loving, attractive woman instead and live full life of passion and whatever?
I've meant to post this earlier. There were 6 month of no communication. Yesterday she told me he is contacting her again, just to say hi. Nothing much. She wants it all or nothing. Messed up situation but I was always wondering about such things.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 30, 2014 9:32:04 GMT -5
Because that wife is his partner is life, mother of his children and owns half his stuff.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 30, 2014 9:39:07 GMT -5
Yup, she wasnt the first and she won't be the last.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Aug 30, 2014 9:41:49 GMT -5
It all comes down to this!!!!
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Aug 30, 2014 9:47:58 GMT -5
Because that wife is his partner is life, mother of his children and owns half his stuff. Partner in life my ass! Why was he looking for another 'partner'? Kids. Not sure if there are any. She is like older by at least 10 years. Half stuff? So? No sex doesn't equal half stuff?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 30, 2014 9:50:17 GMT -5
Because that wife is his partner is life, mother of his children and owns half his stuff. Partner in life my ass! Why was he looking for another 'partner'? Kids. Not sure if there are any. She is like older by at least 10 years. Half stuff? So? No sex doesn't equal half stuff? Well obviously he can get the sex without losing his stuff, but not if he gets divorced.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 30, 2014 9:51:26 GMT -5
I'd actually suspect he had met a third wife and didn't have time for her.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 30, 2014 9:55:33 GMT -5
Guys like that move on when they think their latest bimbo is getting too serious. He might have been afraid she'd tell his wife.
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whoami
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Post by whoami on Aug 30, 2014 9:57:53 GMT -5
Your friend is married yes?
She is doing the same thing Romeo is doing, yet you question why men do these things?
FTR, men always say the wife doesn't put out and its rarely true.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Aug 30, 2014 10:00:59 GMT -5
Next time she wants to stray outside her marriage she should pay for a background check on the guy.
Both of them took risky chances. None are innocent.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Aug 30, 2014 10:05:04 GMT -5
Next time she wants to stray outside her marriage she should pay for a background check on the guy. Both of them took risky chances. None are innocent. No one is asking for justification of their actions. Nor she is claiming she is innocent. It is a post about different matter.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Aug 30, 2014 10:11:18 GMT -5
Next time she wants to stray outside her marriage she should pay for a background check on the guy. Both of them took risky chances. None are innocent. No one is asking for justification of their actions. Nor she is claiming she is innocent. It is a post about different matter. You play, you pay.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Aug 30, 2014 10:11:51 GMT -5
When I posted it - I was kind of under impression that he was in love with her. So I had questioned why did he went back to his wife? I didn't think he would be just a player because she said he wasn't and I took her word. The way 3 years went (in her words) - it was an awesome friendship, communications and mind blowing sex ( I had actually thought of Carl's 'toe-curling' sex and almost laughed but I held my breath).
So you saying he IS a player.
Let's pretend he is not. And they both were in love. And if he took her - she would divorce in a hearbeat (my impression).
Couldn't people in age fall in love?
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Aug 30, 2014 10:13:24 GMT -5
No one is asking for justification of their actions. Nor she is claiming she is innocent. It is a post about different matter. You play, you pay. We are not arguing their morality here. She is silently paying by suffering. No one says otherwise that she needs to be honored or something. We are talking about different thing. Stay focused.
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whoami
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Post by whoami on Aug 30, 2014 10:13:42 GMT -5
Well apparently your friend isn't all that either since her husband doesn't appear interested in her.
Not sure why she is knocking Romeos wife. He apparently likes her well enough to stay married to her despite being older and allegedly less attractive.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 30, 2014 10:22:16 GMT -5
Trying to remember....Wasn't there a song, once, something about...why would anyone want to be with someone who was willing to remove their wedding ring to be with them.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Aug 30, 2014 10:23:26 GMT -5
Well apparently your friend isn't all that either since her husband doesn't appear interested in her. Not sure why she is knocking Romeos wife. He apparently likes her well enough to stay married to her despite being older and allegedly less attractive. I think at certain age husbands are becoming too comfortable and just settling for peace and quiet vs other things. I am not sure whats his deal and don't care. I think if you are driving your wife into arms of another man - you deserve too be cheated on! She is not knocking his wife. All she knows that she is older by mile. And I suspect she is not too hot due to him cheating.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Aug 30, 2014 10:27:14 GMT -5
Trying to remember....Wasn't there a song, once, something about...why would anyone want to be with someone who was willing to remove their wedding ring to be with them. I for an example do not have a wedding ring and never had one. Oops. You were speaking figuratively? Sure. I can however tell you. Sometimes you live and you live and you live and nothing changes like a stale water pond. And all of a sudden someone throws a pebble. And a whole pond getting shaken and you wake up and there are something else except mold. Am I speaking clearly enough so everyone understands me?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 30, 2014 10:32:35 GMT -5
Tloonya...I find it hard to have sympathy for your friend, when you state that she had an affair with a married man. If she was so unhappy with her marriage, she should have divorced her husband and found an unattached lover to be with. Now that she is "in pieces" just tells me that there is indeed Karma. However, you sound like a good friend to give her a shoulder to cry on.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 30, 2014 10:33:10 GMT -5
I have no sympathy for cheaters, male or female. She got what she deserved.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Aug 30, 2014 10:37:43 GMT -5
I have no sympathy for cheaters, male or female. She got what she deserved. Nobody was asking for any. Or someone was? I am the one who posted and I do not remember that.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 30, 2014 10:38:23 GMT -5
It has ZERO to do with age or attractiveness. The issue is the man who needs constant reaffirmation that he is desirable. I know what I'm talking about.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 30, 2014 10:42:41 GMT -5
I have no sympathy for cheaters, male or female. She got what she deserved. Nobody was asking for any. Or someone was? I am the one who posted and I do not remember that. No. But you talk about her suffering and wanting to know why. Who cares. Let her suffer. She's married messing around with someone else is who is married, neither apparently has morals in the relationship department, so what does she expect? A devoted life partner? ROFL
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Aug 30, 2014 10:43:17 GMT -5
Tloonya...I find it hard to have sympathy for your friend, when you state that she had an affair with a married man. If she was so unhappy with her marriage, she should have divorced her husband and found an unattached lover to be with. Now that she is "in pieces" just tells me that there is indeed Karma. However, you sound like a good friend to give her a shoulder to cry on. See, it is kind of more complicated. People do not want to just get divorce and be alone. It is easier to live as you live I guess than all of a sudden just 'let's divorce' and...now what? I read a funny joke: Look for a new partner while having an old one. No one goes to a shoe store barefoot after all...
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Aug 30, 2014 10:47:28 GMT -5
It has ZERO to do with age or attractiveness. The issue is the man who needs constant reaffirmation that he is desirable. I know what I'm talking about. Than he is really not that needy. Once in 3 years is not such 'constant' reaffirmation.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 30, 2014 10:48:44 GMT -5
She got "pushy" and I'm sure she wasnt his one and only, either.
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dannylion
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Post by dannylion on Aug 30, 2014 10:48:48 GMT -5
Sometimes people do things just because they're jerks, or they're selfish, or because they're sociopaths. Other people do things because they're stupid or naïve or believe in fairy tales.
The only way to know why this particular man did what he did is to ask him, assuming he is self-aware enough to know why he behaves as he does.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 30, 2014 10:49:04 GMT -5
It has ZERO to do with age or attractiveness. The issue is the man who needs constant reaffirmation that he is desirable. I know what I'm talking about. Than he is really not that needy. Once in 3 years is not such 'constant' reaffirmation. He's bored, she's not doing it for him anymore, he's moving on to the next piece.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Aug 30, 2014 10:49:03 GMT -5
Nobody was asking for any. Or someone was? I am the one who posted and I do not remember that. No. But you talk about her suffering and wanting to know why. Who cares. Let her suffer. She's married messing around with someone else is who is married, neither apparently has morals in the relationship department, so what does she expect? A devoted life partner? ROFL If all of us were like you, mpl - what would we read? There would be NO fictional love stories. Daniel Steel would be a...waitress. Life would be boring.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 30, 2014 10:51:08 GMT -5
I'm sorry she's hurting but this is how it goes down most of the time. Rarely does a man leave his wife for the OTHER WOMAN. If the man does leave, he rarely stays with his paramour. DF would have never left his EX had she not left him first and they hated each others guts. Sad, sick, but true.
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