Why men do such things

[Miss Tequila]

Aug 30, 2014 9:19:23 GMT -5 tloonya said:

I've met someone I really like (sheesh! she is a woman!) and my heart goes on to her and I am looking for the answer to the issue and can't think of any.
She is married for over 20 years to indifferent man who is her friend and partner in life and they are living comfortably together. Settled. No sparks.
3 years ago she had met this married man whom she fell in love with and had relationships. Not just physical. She was a second wife kind of.
They had done things together, went places, helped each other with things on as needed basis. Then he said he can't do it anymore.

I had met her when she was in pieces after 6 month after break up. She still is collecting herself scrubbing herself off the floor and looking for an answer why?

Why are men going back to their (older, less attractive, non-sexual) wives if they can have younger, loving, attractive woman instead and live full life of passion and whatever?

I've meant to post this earlier. There were 6 month of no communication. Yesterday she told me he is contacting her again, just to say hi. Nothing much. She wants it all or nothing.
Messed up situation but I was always wondering about such things.

Damn loony...based on what you are saying, all men that can land younger women should go for it...kind of a strange thing for a married woman of your age to advocate.

Your friend is a cheater and deserves the broken heart. Not only is she a cheater but she is a dumb one. This guy clearly wants his home life in fact and some hit sex on the side. She expected more and is what makes her dumb

[zibazinski]

I can name three women that I know of who slept with my husband knowing full well he was married. Some women stoop that low. I don't consider it to be "okay" because they thought they were in love or the "only one."

[tloonya]

Aug 31, 2014 10:38:50 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

Aug 30, 2014 9:19:23 GMT -5 tloonya said:

I've met someone I really like (sheesh! she is a woman!) and my heart goes on to her and I am looking for the answer to the issue and can't think of any.
She is married for over 20 years to indifferent man who is her friend and partner in life and they are living comfortably together. Settled. No sparks.
3 years ago she had met this married man whom she fell in love with and had relationships. Not just physical. She was a second wife kind of.
They had done things together, went places, helped each other with things on as needed basis. Then he said he can't do it anymore.

I had met her when she was in pieces after 6 month after break up. She still is collecting herself scrubbing herself off the floor and looking for an answer why?

Why are men going back to their (older, less attractive, non-sexual) wives if they can have younger, loving, attractive woman instead and live full life of passion and whatever?

I've meant to post this earlier. There were 6 month of no communication. Yesterday she told me he is contacting her again, just to say hi. Nothing much. She wants it all or nothing.
Messed up situation but I was always wondering about such things.

Damn loony...based on what you are saying, all men that can land younger women should go for it...kind of a strange thing for a married woman of your age to advocate.

Your friend is a cheater and deserves the broken heart. Not only is she a cheater but she is a dumb one. This guy clearly wants his home life in fact and some hit sex on the side. She expected more and is what makes her dumb

Its not at all what I am saying!!! I am merely trying to understand men's logic. What ta heck are they thinking?
It has nothing to do with me advocating anything.
I am just darn curious because I am hearing things more and more lately. Is this is the age when people starting to go nuts
So before yelling at people - breathe!!!

[Deleted]

What ta heck are they thinking?

Well we already told you that they AREN'T thinking they are madly in love. Well maybe they are but financial and social security beat out love as a priority. If they leave the wife they start all over in establishing themselves, as I said both financially and socially. Unless you are completely miserable most people just don't think it's worth it. Every relationship is all exciting the first couple of years and all of them get boring after that. Most people know that and know that trading one partner for another is at best a temporary solution.

[Deleted]

BTW it's not just something men do. Right now I know 3 women that are basically just waiting until their husbands die to start living the way they want to live. It will cost them too much to leave and with their husbands being older and unhealthier they are playing out their own version of the tontine.

[tloonya]

Aug 31, 2014 18:42:34 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

I can name three women that I know of who slept with my husband knowing full well he was married. Some women stoop that low. I don't consider it to be "okay" because they thought they were in love or the "only one."

I would blame a man here. Sometimes women don't know man is married until they had done it already. Like I said - woman hardly ever approaching men for sex. It is the 'other party'.

[tloonya]

Sept 1, 2014 11:04:04 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

What ta heck are they thinking?

Well we already told you that they AREN'T thinking they are madly in love. Well maybe they are but financial and social security beat out love as a priority. If they leave the wife they start all over in establishing themselves, as I said both financially and socially. Unless you are completely miserable most people just don't think it's worth it. Every relationship is all exciting the first couple of years and all of them get boring after that. Most people know that and know that trading one partner for another is at best a temporary solution.

I haven't saw this. So they ARE in love? It messing my head even more. I am not getting anywhere closer to understanding. I better stop thinking about it. Thanks.

[zibazinski]

The three I can name pretended to be my friends. They knew. 

[tloonya]

Sept 1, 2014 11:24:40 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

The three I can name pretended to be my friends. They knew. 

THAT's messed up!!! But what a stallion, huh? 3 of your friends?
I am so sorry. Is it true to assume that you were absolutely not guilty of him wanting all of your friends?

[zibazinski]

He had "mental issues." Needed constant ego feeding.

[tloonya]

Aug 31, 2014 10:36:10 GMT -5 Spellbound454 said:

Many of the men on dating websites are already married......and they'll spin any line to get a result.

? I think I AM living in a different world

[cronewitch]

My BFF dated a married man for decades, he was in the Navy so when in port he was hers. He had a wife, children, grandchildren at home but his career was Navy so he had ports to call on and a girl in every port. No way would he give up his wife, family and home for a girl on the side even one he had known for decades. She dated him through three of her marriages and was seeing someone local too through a couple of his marriages. Sleeping with someone doesn't mean you want to marry them or you aren't sleeping with your spouse.

[tloonya]

Sept 1, 2014 12:48:29 GMT -5 cronewitch said:

My BFF dated a married man for decades, he was in the Navy so when in port he was hers. He had a wife, children, grandchildren at home but his career was Navy so he had ports to call on and a girl in every port. No way would he give up his wife, family and home for a girl on the side even one he had known for decades. She dated him through three of her marriages and was seeing someone local too through a couple of his marriages. Sleeping with someone doesn't mean you want to marry them or you aren't sleeping with your spouse.

Yeah...I think there really no answer to the question. I mean there is too many answers and none of them is IT.
Wait, so he was married more than once? Not to her. WHY I mean she would, right?

[milee]

Sept 1, 2014 11:07:13 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

BTW it's not just something men do. Right now I know 3 women that are basically just waiting until their husbands die to start living the way they want to live. It will cost them too much to leave and with their husbands being older and unhealthier they are playing out their own version of the tontine.

Yep.  There's a reason that many people as they start to age stop encouraging their spouses to eat healthy and take care of themselves.  There's nothing wrong with encouraging your spouse to take up new, exciting hobbies - like skydiving. 

(That was a very funny part of a very depressing movie - think it was called "This is 40" or something similar.  The husband and wife have both fallen out of love and are just going through the motions surviving and the movie cuts to one of them describing in an innocent and funny way how much easier it would be if the other just died...)

[ZaireinHD]

Aug 31, 2014 18:42:34 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

I can name three women that I know of who slept with my husband knowing full well he was married. Some women stoop that low. I don't consider it to be "okay" because they thought they were in love or the "only one."

WOW - this thread just took a turn in a different direction.

That is some serious Maury shit!
and they are / were your friends too!

that's sooo messed up!
Sorry to hear bout that Zibazinski

[ZaireinHD]

Sept 1, 2014 10:47:35 GMT -5 tloonya said:

Its not at all what I am saying!!! I am merely trying to understand men's logic. What ta heck are they thinking?
It has nothing to do with me advocating anything.
I am just darn curious because I am hearing things more and more lately. Is this is the age when people starting to go nuts
So before yelling at people - breathe!!!

that's not how any of this works!!






now I'm confused - what is your question of of men's logic tloonya?
I'm sure I / we can find the post that answers

[zibazinski]

Those women "got off" on the power they felt they gained over me. 

[Deleted]

Sept 2, 2014 7:51:31 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Those women "got off" on the power they felt they gained over me. 

Out of curiosity, how did you treat these women before they slept with xh. Cause that sounds like women out for revenge.

[zibazinski]

Better than they treated me.  They were women who slept their way to the top. He was the top. When we sold the business, new owners immediately fired both. The third one was just a bitch who liked to sleep around on her husband because he had no spine. He married and stayed married to her because daddykins owned a huge part of Brunswick. 

[Sum Dum Gai]

Like I said - woman hardly ever approaching men for sex. It is the 'other party'.

Maybe ugly guys experience this.  I've had more than one woman try to pursue me, sometimes even after they knew I was married.  I'm average looking, not like a model or anything.  I'm sure some of the guys fooling around the side aren't the ones that originally pursued the poor unsuspecting woman.

[hoops902]

I'm about to compare women to cars...if that offends you, you should probably stop reading.

A guy has a car for 30 years.  It's a classic.  It's not exciting anymore, but he's used to driving it.

Same guy gets a 2nd car, it's shiny and new and will let him do things in it that the first car simply won't...gun the engine, burnouts, etc.  This new car is fun for a while, but soon the "newness" of it wears off.

Guy either resumes driving his old classic, or gets a newer car as his new toy.



The other clear point to make is that if I'm trying to cheat on my wife, I have to say she's non sexual, that it's just a partnership, blah blah blah.  I can't very well tell the new girl I'm trying to sleep with how amazing my wife is and how i'm just a slimeball trying to get a piece on the side.

I'm not sure about the question "why do men do such things" though.  So far all we know is that a guy was cheating and then broke it off.  Is the question about why he was cheating (in which case I'm not sure why it's a question about guys since the woman was as well)? Or is it a question about why men break it off with the person they're cheating with?

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I'm sure some of the guys fooling around the side aren't the ones that originally pursued the poor unsuspecting woman.



DH had an old girlfriend hit him up when she got divorced. She kept talking about how much she missed being with him, how she regretted not marrying him. Yada yada. She was looking for a rebound until DH made it clear he was committed to me.

[hoops902]

::Like I said - woman hardly ever approaching men for sex. It is the 'other party'.::

Really?  I get hit on all the time by married women, most of whom I knew before they were married.  They've been married awhile, they're bored, and they are looking to hook up.  They all know I'm married.  Single women seem less interested in married men (probably because they are looking for a real relationship).

[Peace Of Mind]

Sept 2, 2014 13:11:44 GMT -5 hoops902 said:

I'm about to compare women to cars...if that offends you, you should probably stop reading.

A guy has a car for 30 years.  It's a classic.  It's not exciting anymore, but he's used to driving it.

Same guy gets a 2nd car, it's shiny and new and will let him do things in it that the first car simply won't...gun the engine, burnouts, etc.  This new car is fun for a while, but soon the "newness" of it wears off.

Guy either resumes driving his old classic, or gets a newer car as his new toy.



The other clear point to make is that if I'm trying to cheat on my wife, I have to say she's non sexual, that it's just a partnership, blah blah blah.  I can't very well tell the new girl I'm trying to sleep with how amazing my wife is and how i'm just a slimeball trying to get a piece on the side.

I'm not sure about the question "why do men do such things" though.  So far all we know is that a guy was cheating and then broke it off.  Is the question about why he was cheating (in which case I'm not sure why it's a question about guys since the woman was as well)? Or is it a question about why men break it off with the person they're cheating with?

Now change "women" to "men" and that is why both do it.  You guys bore us too and can't do what younger men can.   But some of us can over look that and some of us don't.  Notice I didn't say "can't".    It's a choice.  You won't die if you don't do it and if you think you will and are completely in love leave the current partner or keep your pants on. 

[zibazinski]

It's killing DFs ex that she can't garner attention about DFs heart transplant. Bio brat waited til I went to the bathroom to ask DF if her mom could come up and bring him ice cream. I told DF that if I had walked into that room and she was there, that'd I'd be walking out on him, period.  DF says he told bio to go down herself and get the ice cream.  Now, all of a sudden, EXs latest story is that they need to get together and discuss their real estate holdings because she doesn't understand them. This is after her email that she can't meet with him about bio brats wedding because it hurts her too much. La di da. What a performance. I told DF he can meet with his EX whenever he wants, as long as he brings the other partner in the real estate holdings with him. Since she really doesn't have any questions but its a ploy, this will fix her wagon. After all, they are silent partners to the other guy so he'd be the logical person to answer any questions she might have. I thought it rather clever way to handle her. She'd move heaven and earth to get him back now that her married boyfriends dumped her.

[NancysSummerSip]

Sept 2, 2014 14:51:50 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

It's killing DFs ex that she can't garner attention about DFs heart transplant. Bio brat waited til I went to the bathroom to ask DF if her mom could come up and bring him ice cream. I told DF that if I had walked into that room and she was there, that'd I'd be walking out on him, period.  DF says he told bio to go down herself and get the ice cream.  Now, all of a sudden, EXs latest story is that they need to get together and discuss their real estate holdings because she doesn't understand them. This is after her email that she can't meet with him about bio brats wedding because it hurts her too much. La di da. What a performance. I told DF he can meet with his EX whenever he wants, as long as he brings the other partner in the real estate holdings with him. Since she really doesn't have any questions but its a ploy, this will fix her wagon. After all, they are silent partners to the other guy so he'd be the logical person to answer any questions she might have. I thought it rather clever way to handle her. She'd move heaven and earth to get him back now that her married boyfriends dumped her.

Well, maybe that, and the fact that he has a new heart, and is therefore not going to die and leave her any imaginary money.

[achelois]

We know a lot of men think of women/their kids as cars--they trade them in for newer models all the time, with about as much regret. 

[zibazinski]

Sociopaths

[NancysSummerSip]

Sept 2, 2014 15:09:18 GMT -5 achelois said:

We know a lot of men think of women/their kids as cars--they trade them in for newer models all the time, with about as much regret. 

True. Women and men can be equal opportunity idiots, though. I've seen catting around go both ways. One place I used to work had so much of it going on, it should have been classified as its own red light district. And when I say "going on" I mean on and off the premises.

A good friend of mine's wife left him for what she thought was the proverbial better model; a man she'd been seeing for about a year, unbeknownst to my friend. Better model dumped her when she showed up at his door, suitcases in hand and ready for the committment. Turns out he wasn't looking to buy again, just interested in a rental.

[zibazinski]

Karma baby