Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 3, 2014 17:30:27 GMT -5
I clarified in my 2nd post that I was really thinking of habitual cheaters when I said that they do it because they can. "Because they can" means that he's able to do it without losing anything. He doesn't lose his sense of integrity (he probably doesn't have much of that relationship-wise anyway), he doesn't really care if one side chick gets fed up, there are more willing to take her place, and his wife either looks the other way or keeps him around anyway, so he doesn't lose his family and the stability of his life.
That's just my opinion, based on what I've seen. I believe habitual cheaters do it because the women in their lives allow them to. Some women would rather have a piece of somebody else's man than no man at all or they like the things that come along with being a mistress, and some wives would rather have a cheating husband than be on their own or lose the lifestyle they have together. So he gets to have them all.
I'm sure lots of married men have been at least slightly tempted, but they didn't go there because they value keeping their word to their wife and/or they're pretty sure their wife wouldn't put up with that kind of behavior. The thrill isn't worth the risk. I think people do what they think they can get away with.
That's the long-winded version of "they do it because they can". It's ok if you still disagree with me.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 3, 2014 17:36:03 GMT -5
I find cheaters feel less than in some way, project their issues onto others, lack personal accountability, and require excessive external validation. And most people think the betrayed cause, or allow, their spouses to cheat because they can’t fathom a world where being cheated on is outside their control. I understand that no one has control over whether their spouse cheats. I do think you have some control over whether you stay married to a cheater.
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ZaireinHD
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Post by ZaireinHD on Sept 3, 2014 20:13:20 GMT -5
tloonya? are you coming back? thread continues to be very interesting!
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steff
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Post by steff on Sept 3, 2014 22:23:11 GMT -5
God gave man 2 heads.....but only enough blood to run one at a time.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Sept 4, 2014 8:44:46 GMT -5
God gave man 2 heads.....but only enough blood to run one at a time. And of course, it's the one with no common sense!
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Sept 5, 2014 8:38:37 GMT -5
No. Are you?
I am honestly just amazed that you can't see how you treat him. the last thing on my mind if my husband just had major surgery, let alone a transplant, would be weather some crazy ex brought him ice cream. I certainly wouldn't bring it up to the man recovering from major surgery.
-rofl-Is it for real?
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Sept 5, 2014 8:43:49 GMT -5
tloonya? are you coming back? thread continues to be very interesting! I don't find it very interesting. You had not post anything I would be sorry I had missed (except those avatars you changing...are you afraid I will miss one?).
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ZaireinHD
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Post by ZaireinHD on Sept 6, 2014 21:30:28 GMT -5
tloonya? nothing interesting? or just my comments are not interesting? nah that's not it! I found the Zib husband info very interesting! plus I think your question(s) has been answered? or are you still in denial of understanding?
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Sept 6, 2014 21:52:56 GMT -5
The "Men Cheat Because they Can" is also a cop-out... Women Cheat Because they Can as well.
Either would be showing a complete lack of respect for their partner/spouse - and the commitment they've made to each other.
A decent person (of either sex) doesn't enter into a serious relationship or marriage and think that a little action on the side is ok - if they have any respect for their partner or themselves.
If you want to play the field, don't commit yourself to someone and then betray them by sleeping around or anything else that they find unacceptable when you enter the relationship.
Either be committed 100%, or don't bother if all you want to do is play around.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 7, 2014 10:34:45 GMT -5
Which is now what my ex does, thank GOD. He doesn't have it in him to be faithful because he needs constant conquests to feel better about himself. Fortunately, he's fixed so he can't leave anymore children fatherless. I resent the fact that he wanted a decent woman to procreate with as opposed to the whores he likes now. To me, that's no different than gay men pretending not to be and marrying and fathering children, then "coming out." You sure as hell knew you were gay or a "player" before you married so be honest with yourself and everyone around you and leave women in peace.
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achelois
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Post by achelois on Sept 7, 2014 14:29:38 GMT -5
There was an article in Huffington Post the other day about a guy named Jay Williams, a video producer,,who has 34 children by 17 different women. Unbelievable.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Sept 8, 2014 10:57:32 GMT -5
The "Men Cheat Because they Can" is also a cop-out... Women Cheat Because they Can as well.
Either would be showing a complete lack of respect for their partner/spouse - and the commitment they've made to each other.
A decent person (of either sex) doesn't enter into a serious relationship or marriage and think that a little action on the side is ok - if they have any respect for their partner or themselves.
If you want to play the field, don't commit yourself to someone and then betray them by sleeping around or anything else that they find unacceptable when you enter the relationship.
Either be committed 100%, or don't bother if all you want to do is play around.
That would be description of ideal world ideal partnership. However we do not live in one. So I observe and listen to LOTS of people. Like I said before I have that kind of face. They tell me things. So woman is living in sexless marriage for last 10 years she said. She meets a man who's wife bitchiness is driving him away. And he doesn't want to be home anymore. that's NOT what they promise 20 years ago when entered the relationship!Hard on both at 50-60, right? Here 2 souls meeting and finding they desire the same thing and they can have it. Where is the crime? I don't see any. I am not sure if they are still going on because none of them coming anymore. I hope they are well...(more stories?)
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 9, 2014 8:35:50 GMT -5
I hope she told him to go F himself.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Sept 9, 2014 11:37:34 GMT -5
I hope she told him to go F himself. Why?
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 9, 2014 16:08:12 GMT -5
Because although she deserves a swift kick in the ass, he deserves it more for messing with her heart again.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 10, 2014 19:20:58 GMT -5
But, but, but, she's, whine, in LOVE, don'tcha know?
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Sept 13, 2014 8:28:02 GMT -5
I don't know if it is an epidemy, but I am meeting more people with affairs. Is it 50+ thing?
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Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2014 8:35:12 GMT -5
I don't know if it is an epidemy, but I am meeting more people with affairs. Is it 50+ thing? No, it's not a 50+ thing. I'm sad to say that I think it's fairly common among younger couples.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Sept 13, 2014 8:47:23 GMT -5
I don't know if it is an epidemy, but I am meeting more people with affairs. Is it 50+ thing? No, it's not a 50+ thing. I'm sad to say that I think it's fairly common among younger couples. I've hardly ever heard this while ago. Maybe because I had been friends with same people and worked with not so many.
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