tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Aug 30, 2014 12:23:57 GMT -5
I think at certain age husbands are becoming too comfortable and just settling for peace and quiet vs other things. I am not sure whats his deal and don't care. I think if you are driving your wife into arms of another man - you deserve too be cheated on! She is not knocking his wife. All she knows that she is older by mile. And I suspect she is not too hot due to him cheating. here sounds like you agree on a comfort level to go back. Yes, but if there is no sex - just comfort - then it is un-comfort. Its settling.
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ZaireinHD
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Post by ZaireinHD on Aug 30, 2014 12:24:21 GMT -5
I can however tell you. Sometimes you live and you live and you live and nothing changes like a stale water pond. And all of a sudden someone throws a pebble. And a whole pond getting shaken and you wake up and there are something else except mold. Am I speaking clearly enough so everyone understands me? LOL! right - good example - lets work with it ok first I have to stop laughing! she brings the ripple for three years and it's great for the two of them. no signs or signals of slowing down or not having a better life. here is the catch about change. neither one of them left their original partner. they both stayed in that same pond. well the ripple stopped for the guy. he started to notice looks like another pond is forming and he can see the mold building! Pause - Laughing now
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Aug 30, 2014 12:26:29 GMT -5
I wonder how romantic to Tloonya it would seem, if it turned out the other man was her husband? What say you Loony? Would you still be hoping he shows up to sweep her off her feet and ride off into the sunset if you found out it was Mr. Loony? Mr.Loony is well wired to my ass and riding to no sunset. He is too lazy for those things. And IF he was able to ride someone to a sunset I would be darn wondering 'was I too fat for that horse'? Idk...
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Aug 30, 2014 12:29:34 GMT -5
here sounds like you agree on a comfort level to go back. Yes, but if there is no sex - just comfort - then it is un-comfort. Its settling. Again, if this is what she's been told, its best to assume he's been lying about this and other things. Its very rare men stop having sex with their wives entirely.
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DagnyT
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Post by DagnyT on Aug 30, 2014 12:29:53 GMT -5
No. But you talk about her suffering and wanting to know why. Who cares. Let her suffer. She's married messing around with someone else is who is married, neither apparently has morals in the relationship department, so what does she expect? A devoted life partner? ROFL If all of us were like you, mpl - what would we read? There would be NO fictional love stories. Daniel Steel would be a...waitress. Life would be boring. I say MPL is spot on!! There are plenty of great, fictional love stories that do not have adultery as a theme, so lots and lots of romance books for us to read.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Aug 30, 2014 12:30:05 GMT -5
This is easy. The guy wasn't looking for a lifelong relationship. He already had one. He was looking for a fun fling on the side. That's what he had with your friend. When it gets too serious it's no longer a fun fling, it's another lifelong relationship, and he's already got one of those. Your friend was cheating on her husband to apparently look for a new one. The guy was cheating on his wife because he's a douche and enjoys the excitement of doing so. It was never going to work. Your friend is a moron if she ever thought it would. Even if she did talk the guy into leaving his wife for her, he would have been cheating on her within a few years anyway.
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ZaireinHD
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Post by ZaireinHD on Aug 30, 2014 12:33:09 GMT -5
here sounds like you agree on a comfort level to go back. Yes, but if there is no sex - just comfort - then it is un-comfort. Its settling. oh the sex thing yes men think about sex all the time. him having to pleasure his older wife on the rare occasion they do hook up is one: comfortable, two: knows what to do, three: he gets satisfied even if she does or doesn't! sex with the new chick one: after three years is not new and exciting anymore, two: different actions to complete her satisfaction are needed, three: he gets satisfied if she does or doesn't - but she complains when she doesn't so now he calls it off for 6 months! goes back to what he is comfortable with. no one else has come up as a distraction to is wife. He calls up chick to see what's up.
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ZaireinHD
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Post by ZaireinHD on Aug 30, 2014 12:38:01 GMT -5
This is easy. The guy wasn't looking for a lifelong relationship. He already had one. He was looking for a fun fling on the side. That's what he had with your friend. When it gets too serious it's no longer a fun fling, it's another lifelong relationship, and he's already got one of those. Your friend was cheating on her husband to apparently look for a new one. The guy was cheating on his wife because he's a douche and enjoys the excitement of doing so. It was never going to work. Your friend is a moron if she ever thought it would. Even if she did talk the guy into leaving his wife for her, he would have been cheating on her within a few years anyway. to add: if your friends was being lied to the entire time leading her to think long term. then before she goes back to him. have her stand firm on all or nothing! like mentioned. YES he will still try to keep them with there current relationships.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Aug 30, 2014 13:02:27 GMT -5
This is easy. The guy wasn't looking for a lifelong relationship. He already had one. He was looking for a fun fling on the side. That's what he had with your friend. When it gets too serious it's no longer a fun fling, it's another lifelong relationship, and he's already got one of those. Your friend was cheating on her husband to apparently look for a new one. The guy was cheating on his wife because he's a douche and enjoys the excitement of doing so. It was never going to work. Your friend is a moron if she ever thought it would. Even if she did talk the guy into leaving his wife for her, he would have been cheating on her within a few years anyway. to add: if your friends was being lied to the entire time leading her to think long term. then before she goes back to him. have her stand firm on all or nothing! like mentioned. YES he will still try to keep them with there current relationships. No, no one lied about anything at the beginning, but no one knew it will grow into such long term relashionships and she was falling deeper and deeper when he said that's it!
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ZaireinHD
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Post by ZaireinHD on Aug 30, 2014 13:09:02 GMT -5
I thought you were leaving work soon tloonya? LOL of course she fell in deeper for this guy. fling are not suppose to last so long. especially after a year! she was in a relationship. yes he was to. then after 3 years he broke up with her. their relationship became too much for him to keep up with. the lying to his wife, excuses of where he's been, money to keep up with both relationships; etc.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 30, 2014 13:11:03 GMT -5
to add: if your friends was being lied to the entire time leading her to think long term. then before she goes back to him. have her stand firm on all or nothing! like mentioned. YES he will still try to keep them with there current relationships. No, no one lied about anything at the beginning, but no one knew it will grow into such long term relashionships and she was falling deeper and deeper when he said that's it! Because he doesn't want that. He wants sex. It really doesn't seem all that mysterious to me.
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ZaireinHD
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Post by ZaireinHD on Aug 30, 2014 13:24:28 GMT -5
if all he wants is sex? would it be easier and cheaper, and more convenient to just pay for sex?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 30, 2014 13:36:41 GMT -5
if all he wants is sex? would it be easier and cheaper, and more convenient to just pay for sex? I dunno. Depends on where you live I guess. Not a big prostitution market in my neck of the woods.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 30, 2014 14:13:18 GMT -5
DFs father cheated on his wife with multiple partners. If he'd been discreet, she'd have probably looked the other way but he was not. He married one of them, well, actually he didnt, she got pregnant and they got a Mexican marriage. But he wasnt divorced yet. He said he was but he was not. Had he not died so unexpectedly. He was going to leave her for a new partner. He just wanted to have someone there for him while he screwed everybody else. But it is funny to realize that DFs half siblings are/were illegitimate because back then, that was a big deal. Now it's no big deal. Years later, DFs mother did divorce him but he never legally married number 2. Plus, he still came and saw DFs mom all the time.
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steff
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Post by steff on Aug 30, 2014 14:22:52 GMT -5
Fictional love stories have one major thing....they are FICTIONAL. Real life doesn't work like a romance novel.
If he cheats WITH you....he will cheat ON you.
I also don't believe cheating is about love, it's about ego & attention. But you can't figure out why a man will do something unless you ask HIM. Each and every person who cheats will have their own reasons & rationalizations.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Aug 30, 2014 14:23:57 GMT -5
Probably not. Women who sell sex cheap are probably carrying STDs. Higher end hookers aren't cheap. You can meet a woman in a bar and get laid for the price of a couple drinks. You can meet somebody at work and get laid for the cost of a dinner and a bottle of wine. Women looking for a guy sell sex for a lot cheaper than women who actually sell sex for a living.
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ZaireinHD
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Post by ZaireinHD on Aug 30, 2014 15:46:24 GMT -5
no doubt low cost sex brings high risk of STD / AIDS and high cost sex still brings lower risk of STD / AIDS. but the bar scene and pfft co-worker! for just wanting sex! they are not just sex. especially co-worker sex.
the comment was
if that's the case / situation dude can just pay. bar scene brings up a whole lot of situations and issues and most likely co-worker is or would be developing another relationship.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Aug 30, 2014 16:15:47 GMT -5
I knew plenty of people in the military that hooked up with coworkers, some of them married, some not. There were serious relationships that started as well, but there were plenty of booty calls, hookups, and folks not interested in a serious relationship that still wanted a little fun.
Not so much at my last job, but we had no female coworkers so it wasn't that surprising.
You can meet members of the opposite sex just looking to get laid pretty much anywhere. Ironically, they're quite a bit cheaper than paying for it. Hang out, eat together, have a few drinks, get laid. You get dinner, drinks, and sex for less than the price of just the sex from a hooker, and you have no risk of getting arrested for soliciting.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Aug 30, 2014 16:41:59 GMT -5
if all he wants is sex? would it be easier and cheaper, and more convenient to just pay for sex? Or have sex with the one you love the most-yourself? You don't even have to get cleaned up to do that.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 30, 2014 16:45:39 GMT -5
Just like rape, it's never about the sex.
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ZaireinHD
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Post by ZaireinHD on Aug 30, 2014 16:50:40 GMT -5
yea - I bet yea low female co-worker count at my place currently working. now that you mention it - military oh yea I can see and heard myself about the hooking up and no issues, problems, lingering feeling and it was just casual.
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Aug 30, 2014 17:12:40 GMT -5
Men do such things the same reasons women do such things. They are horny and/or bored with their current sex partner. And if she thinks after 3 years of being with him was going to change and he'd leave his wife for her she is not only a cheat but she's a dumb one. If he was so in love with her he'd have left wifey poo a long time ago. And you need new friends. Like some with brains and the kind that know how to use them. If you hang with such stupid people too much it doesn't make you more intelligent. That's why I hang with youse guys so often.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 30, 2014 17:31:13 GMT -5
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 30, 2014 17:32:21 GMT -5
Don't mothers explain this stuff to their daughters anymore?
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Aug 30, 2014 17:42:23 GMT -5
Don't mothers explain this stuff to their daughters anymore?
I don't think they were listening
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 30, 2014 18:24:22 GMT -5
Don't mothers explain this stuff to their daughters anymore?
I don't think they were listening Some things you gotta get the hard way.
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Aug 30, 2014 18:57:09 GMT -5
I don't think they were listening Some things you gotta get the hard way.
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ZaireinHD
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Post by ZaireinHD on Aug 30, 2014 20:36:35 GMT -5
Some things you gotta get the hard way. I was thinking the same!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2014 10:03:30 GMT -5
if all he wants is sex? would it be easier and cheaper, and more convenient to just pay for sex? Well, I guess you miss out on being able to claim "I'm an awesome stud that women lust after" part if you pay for it.
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Spellbound454
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Post by Spellbound454 on Aug 31, 2014 10:36:10 GMT -5
They very rarely leave their wives and kids.....and start getting cold feet when the "bit on the side" starts making plans.
They may make a few delaying tactics....ie.....Not yet because the missus/child is having a difficult time at the moment but the truth is the have no intention of leaving... and never did have.
Many of the men on dating websites are already married......and they'll spin any line to get a result.
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