Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 22, 2011 21:15:13 GMT -5
I actually posted this on the old thread. But my daughter and her husband just had their third child in January. Her oldest is four.
Today my DIL told me that she is pregnant and their third child is due in Novemember. I swear these people keep a pregnancy test strip on their bedside table.
That is really a lot of kids. I will have six grandkids next Christmas, and the oldest will be barely eight (Thanksgiving birthday).
Is 33 and 31 too late to explain where babies come from?
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Feb 22, 2011 21:20:46 GMT -5
I really hope you didn't mean it this way, but your post sounds incredibly mean. If you don't want to have that many grandchildren at your house, I am sure you DD and your son will not want to bring them to you either.
Lena
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Post by debtheaven on Feb 22, 2011 21:23:34 GMT -5
Susanna, as far as I know, you raise your kids to the best of your ability, and then you hopefully get to enjoy them and spoil the grandkids if only to get payback LOL. (Hopefully a VERY long way off for me.)
Have they asked you to either babysit or pay for childcare? If not, what's your beef?
PS I have four, not three. They all take it in turns to drive me crazy sometimes, but I wouldn't send any of them back.
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Agatha
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Post by Agatha on Feb 22, 2011 21:23:48 GMT -5
Is 33 and 31 too late to explain where babies come from? Probably so. . . But in all actuality I would be thrilled with any grandchild. I only have one son and I "put in" an order for four grandchildren. My impossibly rational son told me gently I would have to satisfied with one, possibly two. <sigh>
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Post by debtheaven on Feb 22, 2011 21:26:42 GMT -5
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Feb 22, 2011 21:27:07 GMT -5
You haven't said they can't afford them, or that they don't take care of them, so what's the big deal? Some people like big families.
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Post by debtheaven on Feb 22, 2011 21:31:28 GMT -5
Wow, even if you raise them (the parents I mean), at some point, you need to just live and let live.
I don't agree with all of my DS1's or DS2's choices either. But who am I to judge them? I advised them when I could, when they were a captive audience.
Now I just enjoy them LOL.
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Post by robbase on Feb 22, 2011 21:32:35 GMT -5
Um, can you count? I'm guessing they are expecting a fourth? LOL
No re-read it- daughter and husband (son in law) already had their third child
Daughter in law (which is different than her actual daughter mentioned above) and husband (her son) announced she is preggers with number 3
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Post by debtheaven on Feb 22, 2011 21:36:01 GMT -5
Thanks Robbase!
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Feb 22, 2011 21:44:51 GMT -5
I really hope you didn't mean it this way, but your post sounds incredibly mean. If you don't want to have that many grandchildren at your house, I am sure you DD and your son will not want to bring them to you either. Lena having grown up in the minefield of multiple grandchilren within a calendar year, with that Nana living with and raising me in that household, I will venture that you're reading outside the OP's intent.
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formerexpat
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Post by formerexpat on Feb 22, 2011 21:47:57 GMT -5
The boomers should be thanking their lucky stars that Gen Y is producing in these numbers and there is another boom occurring.
It's the only chance the boomers have of getting any of the ponzi scheme that's been voted to them.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 22, 2011 21:48:13 GMT -5
I think maybe. I don't think the average is going up though, because more are choosing to have none... so the 3s and 4s are offsetting the ones who don't have any... if that makes sense... In my homeschooling group, we have a mom with four boys who just gave birth to twin girls, a mother due with her 5th, and another due with her 9th... It could be 'worse' ... i guess...
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misspt
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Post by misspt on Feb 22, 2011 21:54:53 GMT -5
My parents had three. I've have 2, would like 3, but the body and my stress levels aren't cooperating. My sister has 4 ages 5 mos, 2 yrs, 6, and 8 and she's talking about another one, but I threatened her with an involuntary commitment this weekend, lol. My brother, the youngest, has one, and they want another one, too. I think that my parents are a little overwhelmed by 7 grandchildren, too, but my mom has only said something once when she was being super spiteful. (She wasn't much on being a parent, either, but we siblings have always taken care of one another) I am happy for the responsible people in my life to have children, there are so many people out there randomly getting pregnant, thoughtlessly bringing children into the world.
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misspt
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Post by misspt on Feb 22, 2011 21:56:50 GMT -5
The boomers should be thanking their lucky stars that Gen Y is producing in these numbers and there is another boom occurring. It's the only chance the boomers have of getting any of the ponzi scheme that's been voted to them. ITA, formerexpat.
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Post by illinicheme on Feb 22, 2011 22:18:42 GMT -5
Three seems like a lot these days, but it's still common.
What amazes me is a couple of former high school and college friends who seem to be in race to populate the world with as many children as possible. One former roommate has five children. She announced she is pregnant with her sixth when her current youngest was ~3 months old. There's a few other acquaintances who have four and five children. Without exception, everyone I know who has more than three kids is extremely religious and conservative.
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Post by justwhoever on Feb 22, 2011 22:43:47 GMT -5
There's a lot of families here in my small town who have a lot of kids. I guess I have a lot of kids too.
My mother had 4 and her parents had 5.
I guess it's all in what you grew up with. 3 kids doesn't even sound like a lot of kids to me.
Now if you were talking 14 or 19 kids...yeah that's a lot of kids.
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Feb 22, 2011 23:29:20 GMT -5
One niece and one nephew each have 6 with SAHMs. They are raising them poor but they are all wanted. Another niece is adopting 2 to add to her 2 and has another that is temp foster kid. She loves having lots of kids. Another niece has 2 but wants 3, her husband said no.
I think if a couple wants lots of kids and is willing to do what it takes to give them a good life they should do it. More aren't that much more expensive unless you use daycare or they are special needs.
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Apple
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Post by Apple on Feb 22, 2011 23:51:18 GMT -5
My son is an only child, always will be (unless he ends up with step-siblings someday). I never wanted more, but if I did, I'd have stopped at two. I refuse to put anyone through being a middle child!
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on Feb 23, 2011 1:15:25 GMT -5
Southernsusanna I think I understand where you are coming from. I wasn't thrilled when I was informed that a second grandchild was on the way because it was already obvious to me that my first grandchild had some serious issues. (the ex dil was in denial). Then less than three years later there was another one. The (now ex) DIL said she wanted six kids! Even though she also wanted to be a SAHM AND she wanted the standard of living of a two income household....
Thank goodness son had a vasectomy while she was pg with the third. I adore each of my grandchildren, but three is quite enough. As a single dad my son has his hands full now.
You can love and adore your grandchildren and still have conflicting feelings about the decisions your adult children make.
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Mardi Gras Audrey
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Post by Mardi Gras Audrey on Feb 23, 2011 1:28:30 GMT -5
Probably so. . . But in all actuality I would be thrilled with any grandchild. I only have one son and I "put in" an order for four grandchildren. My impossibly rational son told me gently I would have to satisfied with one, possibly two. <sigh> Agathas, be careful what you wish for. My gradnma put in her order to my dad when he was in his 20s.... Put together a few kids, divorces, and remarriages-she went from 1 grandchild to 9 in a span of 3 years. At that point, she cancelled her order and asked for a return shipping label... ;D J/K.. she was a great grandma... her predicament did help me out though. It kept my dad from ordering (I think he looks at the menu but he hasn't mentioned buying anything yet)...
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Post by Deleted on Feb 23, 2011 7:38:37 GMT -5
I was indeed trying to be funny. My family shares my sense of humor so it's ok.
No, they didn't ask my opinion, but I would have simply said, "Make yourself happy." They are all great parents. They aren't asking me to raise them.
I'm just startled. I am probably most of yours parents' age, and we wondered whether to have one child or two. Most of us did go for two, which is why I wondered if three is the new two. Is that what "most" people have?
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michelyn8
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Post by michelyn8 on Feb 23, 2011 7:59:26 GMT -5
I was indeed trying to be funny. My family shares my sense of humor so it's ok. No, they didn't ask my opinion, but I would have simply said, "Make yourself happy." They are all great parents. They aren't asking me to raise them. I'm just startled. I am probably most of yours parents' age, and we wondered whether to have one child or two. Most of us did go for two, which is why I wondered if three is the new two. Is that what "most" people have? You may be kidding and think your family understands what you mean, but be very careful how you express this to your children/grandchildren. I have a mother who can say things that come across as very cruel and unfeeling even though I know she loves all her children and grandchildren. My sister told me that when she called to tell my Mom she was having her second child (grandchild #9), all my mother said was that she had hoped she wouldn't have any more grandchildren. And even though my father called and tried to smooth it over by letting her know he wanted more grandkids, my sister has never really gotten over hearing that. We all accept how my mom is, but that doesn't always lessen the pain when she says some of the things she does.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Feb 23, 2011 8:19:06 GMT -5
It does seem odd since we have been told time and time again that the only people reproducing at an alarming rate are Hispanics and Asians. I remember an old college professor telling me (how UN-PC of him) that if white people did not have at least 4 kids each, that we would be outnumbered by black people by 2020. He was right about being out-numbered, just by a different race. Since having only 2 children is practically seen as un-American by responsible people, I can see where it must seem bizarre to Susanna that her children decided to have more. Sometimes it is to get the child of the opposite sex and sometimes it is just because. I would hate to be "out-numbered!!!" Since I ended up single, I am now more understanding of why I didn't have the third child that I wanted. It's expensive to raise them decently but I am glad that more responsible people are having larger faimilies than those that expect someone else to care for them.
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Post by cytoglycerine on Feb 23, 2011 8:26:22 GMT -5
I was indeed trying to be funny. My family shares my sense of humor so it's ok. No, they didn't ask my opinion, but I would have simply said, "Make yourself happy." They are all great parents. They aren't asking me to raise them. I'm just startled. I am probably most of yours parents' age, and we wondered whether to have one child or two. Most of us did go for two, which is why I wondered if three is the new two. Is that what "most" people have? Wow - I just had to say Susana, I looked at your birth date on your profile to see if you are my parents' age, and it turns out you are almost the exact same age as my mom! Only 2ish weeks older! To answer your original question, Hubby and I plan on only having one child. I'm decently certain I can fully provide for one child, but not two. Definitely not three, regardless of money. When there's three of them, then they outnumber me and Hubby. Unacceptable!
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Feb 23, 2011 8:50:08 GMT -5
I've heard all kinds of reasons for not having kids or certain number of kids, but this one is by far the strangest one of them all. Lena
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Feb 23, 2011 8:55:16 GMT -5
Do you know any middle kids? It seems like of my friends that have a middle, he or she is the "problem."
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Post by Deleted on Feb 23, 2011 8:56:35 GMT -5
I am the middle kid.....
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Post by cytoglycerine on Feb 23, 2011 8:57:58 GMT -5
Do you know any middle kids? It seems like of my friends that have a middle, he or she is the "problem." Hubby's sister is the middle child, and she is a terror on wheels STILL at 28 years old.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Feb 23, 2011 9:00:33 GMT -5
Zib, I don't get it, are you saying that the "middle" child is the problem child?
Lena
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Post by Deleted on Feb 23, 2011 9:08:31 GMT -5
Michelyn8 (and others) . . . enough lectures on how to relate to my own kids. I'm sorry that some of you have hurtful mothers, but I am not she. I said all the right things when I heard the news because I feel all the right things. I'm happy for them.
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