swamp
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Post by swamp on Feb 23, 2011 14:02:19 GMT -5
*I* know I am technically not doing anything wrong should I decide to stop with on, but people are even worse about having a second child than they were about having a first! I've even had suggestions over when to go off BC again so I can time it so they are exactly a year and a half apart because that is the "perfect time" to have another child. Uh. .. I just got done being pregnant six months ago! Um, no. I have kids that are 17 months apart and it was hell for the first few years.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Feb 23, 2011 14:03:13 GMT -5
Dramaq, would you rather be my big sister? I like the rest of my family and besides I don't do shipping boxes. How about I trade your family my brother for you?
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Feb 23, 2011 14:06:07 GMT -5
I dunno, my parents have gotten somewhat attached to me over the years... after all, they have no backup kids
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Feb 23, 2011 14:06:55 GMT -5
Ours are 15 months apart, and it is a pain when they're toddlers. It's not bad when they're older though.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Feb 23, 2011 14:07:49 GMT -5
That made me think of another reason I heard people used to have kids: well, if you only have one and something happens to her, than we won't have anyone else. True, but sounded a bit creepy to me.
Lena
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Feb 23, 2011 14:10:19 GMT -5
That is a VERY creepy reason to have more than one kid. Hopefully not one that plays into anyone's decision in any serious way. I was just joking around.
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comom1
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Post by comom1 on Feb 23, 2011 14:16:15 GMT -5
I'm the oldest of six and there's no way I was having more than two. I had done enough child rearing by the time I graduated from high school. I could have lived without any kids, but DH really wanted them. We have two, they're less than 11 months apart in age, and I thought I would lose my mind for the first seven months. After that, I wouldn't have done it any other way. ETA: I had my tubes tied when the youngest was 2. I actually had idiots ask me what I would do if something happened to one of my girls. Are you kidding? Do you really think I could replace one of my children if something happened to one of them?
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Feb 23, 2011 14:17:37 GMT -5
I could see it if you're from a culture where the kids are expected to take care of the parents in old age. If that's your retirement plan, and you only have one, I could see it causing some sleepless nights. What if they get a crappy job, get into drugs, aren't good with money, become disabled, etc.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Feb 23, 2011 14:20:32 GMT -5
I could see it if you're from a culture where the kids are expected to take care of the parents in old age. If that's your retirement plan, and you only have one, I could see it causing some sleepless nights. What if they get a crappy job, get into drugs, aren't good with money, become disabled, etc.
Also if you ran a country. Other than that, backup kids are probably a bad idea.
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Post by soon2bmomof3 on Feb 23, 2011 14:32:24 GMT -5
Um, no. I have kids that are 17 months apart and it was hell for the first few years. Great...thanks for the words of encouragement, Swamp My two youngest will be 16 months apart. ;D
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 23, 2011 14:36:39 GMT -5
I love my grandkids, Lena. That was never an issue in my post. You are looking to start an argument for some reason. Please stop. If this is the post that surprises you, I'm surprised.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 23, 2011 14:46:06 GMT -5
I know a lot of upper middle class white families that are having 3 or more children. It's almost like a new status symbol - they can afford them financially and mentally!
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Post by Deleted on Feb 23, 2011 14:52:43 GMT -5
I know a lot of upper middle class white families that are having 3 or more children. It's almost like a new status symbol - they can afford them financially and mentally! I hope that is true. We need to start out breeding the welfare queens.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Feb 23, 2011 14:53:18 GMT -5
Um, no. I have kids that are 17 months apart and it was hell for the first few years. Great...thanks for the words of encouragement, Swamp My two youngest will be 16 months apart. ;D All I can say is good luck to you. Take lots of pictures because you won't remember anything. And good luck trying to nurse your baby as your 18 month old starts climbing the kitchen counters, starts pulling the cats tail, and then stuffs toys in the toilet.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Feb 23, 2011 14:53:48 GMT -5
I know a lot of upper middle class white families that are having 3 or more children. It's almost like a new status symbol - they can afford them financially and mentally! I hope that is true. We need to start out breeding the welfare queens. But my job doesn't pay me more to have more kids..........
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comom1
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Post by comom1 on Feb 23, 2011 14:56:51 GMT -5
Yeah, sorry Arch, but at 53, I'm not going to breed any longer. If, by some godawful circumstance, I did find myself pregnant, you'd hear the screams from NYC to LA.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 23, 2011 14:58:37 GMT -5
I hope that is true. We need to start out breeding the welfare queens. But my job doesn't pay me more to have more kids.......... But if your status as an upper class white muckitty-muck is at stake by only having one kid, that is priceless.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Feb 23, 2011 15:06:12 GMT -5
Not to totally hijack the thread, which means I'm going to, but has anyone else noticed a lot of people having the echo kid? There are a lot of older parents around here that had one, or usually two, pretty early in life and right about the time those ones head off to college they have another one. Like, on purpose. They go in for fertility treatments, are excited, the whole deal. Right when they should be done and go back to doing their own thing, they want a crying, pooping, baby in the house. It's so weird.
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Feb 23, 2011 15:17:53 GMT -5
I hadn't heard the term 'echo kid' before...
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Post by Deleted on Feb 23, 2011 15:18:13 GMT -5
I'm sorry, but I'm not getting how 3 is a lot of kids. It you can afford it and you have the patience and room in your heart, do it! DH and I would like to have 3, but we'd be okay with 2.
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Waffle
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Post by Waffle on Feb 23, 2011 15:21:14 GMT -5
Quote: I wouldn't wish being an only child on anyone.
That's pretty narrow-minded statement to make.
Lena
I respectfully disagree with your opinion that my statement was narrow-minded. Perhaps, I should have expounded on the thought.
As a youngster, I was always more comfortable with adults than kids - in an odd twist all of my first cousins are at least 17 years younger than I am. So there were some lonely times. I'm not saying my childhood, or existence as an adult is horrible.
But, I'm actually looking at this from a perspective that I haven't seen any one hit on. When you are an only child and there is a problem with an ill or aging parent - who has to deal with it? - the only child. No siblings to turn to for support or advice. I find that a stressful place to be. I have seen instances in my extended family, where siblings supported each other in similar times and I admit, (here in anonymous land) that I'm a bit jealous of that.
And, I'm certainly not someone who goes around telling people how many children to have. That's totally a personal, individual decision.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 23, 2011 15:22:23 GMT -5
Not to totally hijack the thread, which means I'm going to, but has anyone else noticed a lot of people having the echo kid? There are a lot of older parents around here that had one, or usually two, pretty early in life and right about the time those ones head off to college they have another one. Like, on purpose. They go in for fertility treatments, are excited, the whole deal. Right when they should be done and go back to doing their own thing, they want a crying, pooping, baby in the house. It's so weird. My mom did that, not just once, but twice. And sometimes she will look at me and say: To think if I stopped after you I would be done by now. I was 17 and my step brother 16 when my they decided they wanted more kids. So they gave birth to my brother when I was 17 and the following year had my sister. They started trying when I was 15 or so, my mom had two miscarriages and had to go for fertility treatment. My mom is 47 and stepfather is 55, my brother just turned 9 this Feb and sister will turn 8 this june.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 23, 2011 15:25:12 GMT -5
OMG! DH doesn't know it yet, but he's getting snipped at 36. The baby factory will be closed.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Feb 23, 2011 15:33:01 GMT -5
well based on what I have read on this thread and some of the WIR ones over the years I might as well start saving up for my son's therapy now. I chose for him to be an only child I didn't breastfeed him (instant gratification baby, refused to bf pediatrician said I had to switch to the bottle as he had lost too much weight) I returned to work (sorry- military if I didn't go back I would be AWOL) He has (gasp) video games, a tv in his room and a fb account.
I have ruined him for life. Never mind that he is well liked, a straight A student, perfectly happy with his only child status and has a wicked funny sense of humor. Yep- better start pre-paying his therapy now.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 23, 2011 15:37:06 GMT -5
Never mind that he is well liked, a straight A student, perfectly happy with his only child status and has a wicked funny sense of humor.that's how it starts....
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Feb 23, 2011 15:38:12 GMT -5
Now, THAT is not only completely understandable, but I can actually relate to, bc that's what both, my mom and my dad had to do for their parents. It's very very very hard, both emotionally and physically. And you know what? THAT I wouldn't wish on anyone. So, thank you for elaborating on your statement.
Lena
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Feb 23, 2011 15:41:16 GMT -5
I pray by the time my parents are old enough to need assistance that my brother has grown up. As it stands now I have panic attacks about the possibility of something happening to them because then I am left to deal with him.
Having siblings sometimes isn't all it is cracked up to be. The grass is greener on the other side.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Feb 23, 2011 15:41:28 GMT -5
Well, you might love your grandkids, but that's NOT how your post came off. And since I was not the only one who made similar comment, may be, just may be, it wasn't me who was looking to start an argument or some kind of "debate".
Lena
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Feb 23, 2011 15:43:04 GMT -5
Of course then you have my hair stylist which is one of six and she is the only one doing anything for her aging parents. The rest are "too busy."
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Feb 23, 2011 15:46:13 GMT -5
But my job doesn't pay me more to have more kids.......... But if your status as an upper class white muckitty-muck is at stake by only having one kid, that is priceless. I'm proudly white trash.
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