Fair Weather Friends

[Deleted]

Do ya have any fair weather friends? Peeps you thought were your friends but turned out not to be in the long run? What happened?

[Jaguar]

Yeah I did in high school. I was being bullied by two assholes and two peeps that I knew from senior kindergarten basically laughed at me being bullied. It went on for the whole first term of Grade 9, so for 4 months. That made me realize that I had to be my own best friend and not care what others said or even thought about me. It was a hard lesson, but I learned it well.

[mmhmm]

Fortunately, I don't. I guess it's because my friends are people I've known for many, many years. Those I haven't known that long, or don't know that well, are acquaintances. Acquaintances, while great to have around and, probably, wonderful people, aren't given the same trust and investment as friends. My mother stressed that to me as I was growing up. Thankfully, it was one of her lessons I took to heart. I don't have a lot of true friends because it takes a long time (for me) for a relationship to develop that closeness. That's the way I prefer it.

[Deleted]

The opposite happens for me. I don't realise what good friends I have until the chips are down and people show up out of the blue to help or just be supportive. I guess my expectations of people are pretty low cause I'm often pleasantly surprised.

[thyme4change]

I have tons of people who have eased in and out of my life. Some during good times, some during bad. Sometimes I have cut people off during my bad times - is that their fault?

[Reckless Roselia]

Dec 9, 2012 20:40:41 GMT -5 @shooby said:

Do ya have any fair weather friends? Peeps you thought were your friends but turned out not to be in the long run? What happened?

I've had few cyber and real life 'fair weather' friends. My fair weather friends in real life were there only to use me for my brains during my years in studies whereas my cyber friends decided to call me guilty in few cases (of irrelevance if you think about it now) and to leave our friendship behind. I'm better without such friends. Who needs enemies with friends like that?

[Deleted]

Thyme, - Well, maybe you are the fair weather one, lol.

[Deleted]

My dd tends to just like a few close friendships. I have had to have her branch out a bit because she would rely too much on one friend. Anyway, she branched out pretty well cuz we had 20 girls at her party last week.

[mmhmm]

LOL, shooby. It doesn't sound like the dd is hurting for girls to spend time with. Sounds like she's doing just fine! I'm glad she has an understanding of the difference between true friendship and acquaintances, though. That will serve her well in future.

[Deleted]

Dec 10, 2012 10:55:35 GMT -5 @shooby said:

My dd tends to just like a few close friendships. I have had to have her branch out a bit because she would rely too much on one friend. Anyway, she branched out pretty well cuz we had 20 girls at her party last week.

[Reckless Roselia]

I am still in contact with some of my close and clean friends. But yeh, I too prefer a smaller company of good friends.

[Deleted]

I think this is the first party where EVERYONE we invited showed up. It helped that we had a basketball game that morning :)cuz 13 of the girls were from the basketball team.

[Deleted]

Dec 10, 2012 11:05:45 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

LOL, shooby. It doesn't sound like the dd is hurting for girls to spend time with. Sounds like she's doing just fine! I'm glad she has an understanding of the difference between true friendship and acquaintances, though. That will serve her well in future.

Good morning, mmhmm.

Hope, all is well with you. happy Holiday Season!

[mmhmm]

Doing great here, snowbird. Hope you and yours are the same, hon, and that your holiday season is bright and filled with love and laughter. I sincerely hope that for all who recognize the season.

[mmhmm]

Dec 10, 2012 11:07:05 GMT -5 @shooby said:

I think this is the first party where EVERYONE we invited showed up. It helped that we had a basketball game that morning :)cuz 13 of the girls were from the basketball team.

That's great, shoob! It always makes a kid feel special when everyone invited shows up at a party. They know they're appreciated! Good for her!

[Deleted]

Dec 10, 2012 11:06:28 GMT -5 Reckless Roselia said:

I am still in contact with some of my close and clean friends. But yeh, I too prefer a smaller company of good friends.

Good morning, Rose and shooby.

I am done with trying to be liked by all of people that run into my life...If this says much.

[Deleted]

Dec 10, 2012 11:11:08 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

Dec 10, 2012 11:07:05 GMT -5 @shooby said:

I think this is the first party where EVERYONE we invited showed up. It helped that we had a basketball game that morning :)cuz 13 of the girls were from the basketball team.

That's great, shoob! It always makes a kid feel special when everyone invited shows up at a party. They know they're appreciated! Good for her!

Yeah, it was a madhouse! But, in a good way. ;D

[justme]

I had a run going for a while where I'd find a new best friend and we'd hang out a lot and then a year later they would blow up at me for inexplicable reasons. (One said I screwed up her chances with a guy - turns out I had mutual friends with the guy and ran into him a month later and he was like what happened to your friend? I asked her out and she never responded. The other I have no idea...she went on this long rant about things I said but that I actually never did and canceled a trip 3 days before we were to go. About 2 years later she apologized and said she didn't know why she did that - yeah I'm not going back to crazy town.) Another friend flipped out on me because I thought it was cool that Richie Rich had a roller coaster in his backyard and the friend was saying there were so many other better things he could do with that money, I still thought it was bad ass but apparently he took the movie too serious? He kicked me out of his house (and it was 11pm and I had been drinking and I lived an hour away) and I never talked to him again.

A lot of acquaintances fell by the wayside because they were exhausting, but then I was just left with my small core group. So now I'm out meeting new people and hoping for no repeats of crazy!

[Deleted]

Dec 10, 2012 11:09:36 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

Doing great here, snowbird. Hope you and yours are the same, hon, and that your holiday season is bright and filled with love and laughter. I sincerely hope that for all who recognize the season.

mmhmm,

Thank you.

I am hoping, people can able to enjoy without going to the shopping mall. ;D

I am mending my broken arm, but it will be over soon. ;D

[mmhmm]

So sorry about your arm, snowbird! Heal quickly, hon!

[Reckless Roselia]

Dec 10, 2012 11:13:49 GMT -5 @funsnowbird said:

Dec 10, 2012 11:06:28 GMT -5 Reckless Roselia said:

I am still in contact with some of my close and clean friends. But yeh, I too prefer a smaller company of good friends.

Good morning, Rose and shooby.

I am done with trying to be liked by all of people that run into my life...If this says much.

Good morning, FunSnowChick,

I agree with you. I used to believe that everyone should like me and that I should keep everyone together.

You're one of my sweetest friends online.

[Deleted]

Dec 10, 2012 11:25:01 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

So sorry about your arm, snowbird! Heal quickly, hon!

Thank you, mmhmm

[Deleted]

Dec 10, 2012 11:26:28 GMT -5 Reckless Roselia said:

Dec 10, 2012 11:13:49 GMT -5 @funsnowbird said:

Good morning, Rose and shooby.

I am done with trying to be liked by all of people that run into my life...If this says much.

Good morning, FunSnowChick,

I agree with you. I used to believe that everyone should like me and that I should keep everyone together.

You're one of my sweetest friends online.

Thank you, Rose. You are too.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

I usually tread lightly when first meeting people/starting friendships. I'm still close with 3 people I've been friends with since (one from 3rd grade, one from Jr High, and one from HS). I've also developed frienships with co-workers that have become personal frienships

I'm FAR more cautious of cyber-friendships. There's no eye-contact, no body language, or face-to-face human interaction.

An online friendship is fine if it's kept light, and not taken with too much dependence or trust. Someone you don't really "know" can tell you anything and there's no way of knowing if they're telling the truth or setting you up. I tread lightly around them - and don't reveal a lot about myself or my private life, until I have a good sense of where they're coming from. I've seen people taken advantage of or hurt and it really bothers me that people would lower themselves to using someone trusting for their own personal gain.

Just my two-cents.

[mmhmm]

Agreed, SL. To me, online relationships are different than personal friendships. Online, people can claim anything. There's no way for us to know, for sure, whether what's posted is true, or a fantasy, or a manipulative ploy. While I don't think people should be automatically suspicious of people they have interchange with online, I do think one has to be wary if such a relationship starts to take on more personal aspects. You've got to keep in mind you really don't know this person. Friendships develop over time, and in the presence of real knowledge of the individual you've befriended. I, too, have seen a lot of hurt result from online break-ups. It always makes me very, very sad.

[Deleted]

lassie, mmhmm

What you both said is sounds advises....... probably, one has to be very careful with whom they wants to be friend with. Somehow, I can able to recognize some trough with their wording. In a sense it's a lot safer place to be...... Hoping, anyway.......

We used to say, where I came from. When tiger dies they leave their skin. When person leaves this earth, they live trough their words...

Thank you, for your warning. Lassie, mmhmm.

[Deleted]

One thing i can't abide is when a friend starts telling me i can't talk to another person because they don't like them. If someone has an issue with someone else, take it up with them, but dont' involve me in the drama. I will talk to whom i choose to talk too. My dd has a friend like that at school who is a drama queen and got "mad" at her for talking to a girl she didn't like. I told dd to tell her friend that if SHE has a problem with that particular person, that is HER problem and not to get involved in her friends drama. Same thing if she has a party and one friend says "she won't come to the party if another particular person comes". I told her to tell her "well, i would love for you to come, but i am going to invite whom i choose to invite and if you choose to stay home, i will miss your company".

[mmhmm]

I think that's part of the point, Shoob. A true friend wouldn't try to tell you with whom you could speak, or spend time, anymore than you'd do that to someone you considered a friend. If a friend knows something about another person that you may not know, and that might put you in a bad position, the friend might share that; however, to dictate with whom you associate based on their likes and dislikes? Nah. That's not a friend, that's a warden.

[Jaguar]

Well it's when I find out someone has been a manipulative liar, that makes my hackles go up. And that person gets booted out the door pronto. I won't allow that type of energy around me.

[Deleted]

Well, there are very few friends i have ever parted ways with. I think "faithful are the wounds of a friend". Sometimes my friends aren't perfect but i love them and don't drop them because they don't act exactly as i have prescribed. I have a dear, dear friend of YEARS and no doubt there are times we have pissed each other off, been less than we should be, but this is the lady who will walk into my world when the rest of the world is walking out and I for her. God bless my BFF!