Fair Weather Friends

[ZaireinHD]

Dec 9, 2012 20:40:41 GMT -5 @shooby said:

Do ya have any fair weather friends? Peeps you thought were your friends but turned out not to be in the long run? What happened?

yup! had plenty of fair weather friends! Shooby
what happened - depends on the "friend"
egos, boy friends, kids, relationships, moving, all kinds of shit

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

my close friends meant nothing to me anyway! - don't know what I was holding onto in the first place. I guess because it's rejection - don't want to be rejected not a good feeling.
well it's done / she is done / we are over / I'm over her

Then why did you spend the last YEAR moaning about her here since you say your close friends meant nothing to you?

Glad to hear you're over it once and for all. Maybe you can stop talking about her now.

[ZaireinHD]

Yes Zaire but NOW that is OVER@! This person no longer cares about you but only herself.

You weren't put on this earth to meet someone else's expectations. Set your goals, put your plans into effect, and meet your own expectations. Never, never let anyone else define who, or what you should be. That's a recipe for disaster.

SO DAMN FREAKING TRU DAT ! Be Your Own Best Friend FIRST

Don't fixate on what you don't have. People always want what they can't have, instead of appreciating what they do have already.

Zaire cut this woman loose. It sounds like your playing sadistic obsessive mind games.

This is also YET AGAIN another thread that you've taken over with this obsession. Zaire your going to end up posting all by yourself again if you keep this obsession up. Let her go or else let your GF go.

Zaire - You keep posting about how tortured you are over you best gal friend. We have all clearly said that it is TIME to end this friendship. You haven't said a single word in her favor as to WHY you shouldn't and shouldn't do so immediately.

Leave her alone, Zaire.

It is going to hinder your progress in life and where you ultimately want to go if you don't BREAK THIS OFF NOW. Do it for YOUR sake.

some people say I got a bad attitude, but that don't change the way I feel about you...if you think this might be bringing me down, look again cause I ain't wearing no frown
I know, You know, everybody knows..the way it comes & the way it's gonna go Think it's sad, but that's too bad cuz I'm having a ball hating every little thing about You!

Friendship cannot be bought. Love cannot be bought. Both have to be given freely. That's the lesson you should have learned, Zaire, when your male friend tried to refuse a gift of tires and ended up abusing your credit card (which you thrust on him) with even larger purchases for which he graciously allowed you to pay. Someone who will do that is not your friend. Sorry, but that's the reality.

If I determine a friend of mine is in difficulty, I'll offer my help IF (and only IF) my friend asks me for help. I will not intrude on my friend's life. If my friend seems to be drawing away, I'll let my friend know I'm available when he/she wishes to contact me. At that point, I'll step away from the situation. The decision as to whether or not my friend needs my help isn't mine. It's his/hers. Friends do not intrude on one another. They're always available, but they do not force themselves into each other's lives.

This sounds more like unrequited love to me. If you don't know what that means - it means you love her and she doesn't love you back the same way. The longer you stay around the longer your pain will last. I hope you find the strength to move from it soon.

ZinHD, I'd go with the advice many posters here have given you already. Believe me that you'll feel relieved without that woman in your life. I know this may hurt at start but trust me, you'll feel lighter ....tons of it!

Zaire, we have all CLEARLY given you the advice you need, which is to end this relationship. This isn't a healthy friendship. It is a one way street. You are only hurting yourself and your future if you continue on. If you want to "justify" why you should continue being her punching bag, you may do so. I don't see what you think that is going to accomplish other than more bruises to your heart. You are allowing this relationship to be an unhealthy influence in your life. It is going to DESTROY any future relationships and you are the one who is going to miss out. We are all clearly telling you GET OUT of this relationship. Period.

Dec 30, 2012 22:57:44 GMT -5 ZaireinHD said:

that is a really tough thing to do - not dwell. I want to be there for support. My best friend, my close friend is going through a very bad tough spot in her life right now. I'm trying to help her but she rather push me away. She helped me in the past but I didn't push her away. and she is really pushing me away. so do I just agree with letting go or continue with being by her side during her tough time?

Jan 1, 2013 18:36:22 GMT -5 ZaireinHD said:

should I let my friendship die!
I'm split right in the middle!
if I tell her - WE'RE DONE - she will not let us be done (97% sure)
if I just continue to let it fade - I'm being tortured (100% sure)

Jan 3, 2013 22:58:21 GMT -5 ZaireinHD said:

I've already taken the plan to step back away. I sent her my last text wishing her a Happy New Year, which I had already planned since last year. she sent a reply back on the same day. so it's over now no more contact with her.

[ZaireinHD]

UPDATE
I received a text from her today
"Where are you? haven't heard from ya in days"
I did not reply
I received a second text from her today few hours after the first text
"guess you're not around I got you a Christmas gift"
I did not reply

[Deleted]

Is fairweather friend what people call friends who they have done something horrible to that walk away?

[ZaireinHD]

then there are different levels of horrible - to have someone walk away from the friendship

[Jaguar]

A fair weather friend is an untrue friend, basically a never was.

[Deleted]

Jan 4, 2013 23:18:41 GMT -5 ZaireinHD said:

then there are different levels of horrible - to have someone walk away from the friendship

What level do you let your friends get to before you walk away?

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Jan 4, 2013 23:18:41 GMT -5 ZaireinHD said:

then there are different levels of horrible - to have someone walk away from the friendship

If someone walks away from a friendship, it's not horrible - it might mean they no longer feel comfortable around you - especially if you're too pushy or needy.

[ZaireinHD]

walk away after expressing that how hurt someone is putting you through
person doesn't stop hurting you and hurting you in the same way
to me that has to be intentional?

[Deleted]

Jan 4, 2013 23:34:14 GMT -5 ZaireinHD said:

walk away after expressing that how hurt someone is putting you through
person doesn't stop hurting you and hurting you in the same way
to me that has to be intentional?

Sometimes people make you want to hurt them.

[ZaireinHD]

whooo!
make you want to hurt them?


is that what is mean by "we hurt the one's we love the most"

sorry but I have never had that experience before

[Deleted]

Jan 4, 2013 23:41:45 GMT -5 ZaireinHD said:

whooo!
make you want to hurt them?


is that what is mean by "we hurt the one's we love the most"

sorry but I have never had that experience before

Some people are so needy, you try to be nice but you end up hurting them. Then they get mad at you. Know what I mean?

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Zaire - I'm going to say this as simply as possible - if you care for your live-in girlfriend, put your focus on HER and stop worrying about whether other people like you. Do your job at work - period - without trying to force everyone around you to like you.

If you can't put your attention where it belongs (on the woman you live with and *supposedly* love, then let her go - so she can find some one who WILL appreciate and love her.

You CANNOT make people to like you or demand friendship from them, and the more you push and demand that they do, the further you're pushing them back away from you. You're alienating people from your life by putting too much pressure on them to like you - they'll either accept you as you are or not - this ex-friend you talk about has already cut ties with you MONTHS ago - but you still hound her day after day.

Man-up and tell your live-in girlfriend that you're not fully committed to her so she can decide whether to stay or go - and stop trying to BUY friendship from everyone - material gifts mean nothing.

And act professional at work and stick to doing your job instead of hounding the female employees - a receptionist saying good morning or telling you that you look nice is NOT flirting - it's just a person being polite.

[ZaireinHD]

Ahhh! needy
ok
I can see that!
so she may feel I'm being too needy and want some space.
didn't see that because of how we have developed our friendship of the past decade.
instead of cut off - don't be so available - stop offering to help - and let her breath
I can do that
;D

[Deleted]

Jan 4, 2013 23:49:55 GMT -5 ZaireinHD said:

Ahhh! needy
ok
I can see that!
so she may feel I'm being too needy and want some space.
didn't see that because of how we have developed our friendship of the past decade.
instead of cut off - don't be so available - stop offering to help - and let her breath
I can do that
;D

Good job, don't be so available.
Basically everything you want to do, do the opposite and you should be fine.

[ZaireinHD]

thanks Apple - I appreciate your advise
I have not responded to her texts she sent today
I have not purchased her a Christmas gift - and I will not purchase one.
This is the first time she has purchased me a Christmas gift - I didn't expect it, total surprise
but I will reply to her text tomorrow afternoon
not sure if I'll take her gift or refuse it?

[Deleted]

Jan 4, 2013 23:56:41 GMT -5 ZaireinHD said:

thanks Apple - I appreciate your advise
I have not responded to her texts she sent today
I have not purchased her a Christmas gift - and I will not purchase one.
This is the first time she has purchased me a Christmas gift - I didn't expect it, total surprise
but I will reply to her text tomorrow afternoon
not sure if I'll take her gift or refuse it?

Hey, no worries. What are friends for.

[ZaireinHD]

Jan 5, 2013 0:08:18 GMT -5 @joey said:

Hey, no worries. What are friends for.

careful! I may force a expensive gift on you!

[mmhmm]

Hey, Ziare ... what if you were to stop trying so darned hard and just be yourself? Heck, it would be worth a try, don'cha think?

[Reckless Roselia]

Jan 4, 2013 23:19:21 GMT -5 Jaguar said:

A fair weather friend is an untrue friend, basically a never was.

You can recognise such friends before, during or after the friendship.

[Deleted]

Lassie,


You CANNOT make people to like you or demand friendship from them, and the more you push and demand that they do, the further you're pushing them back away from you. You're alienating people from your life by putting too much pressure on them to like you - they'll either accept you as you are or not -

[ZaireinHD]

Jan 5, 2013 9:32:26 GMT -5 @funsnowbird said:

You CANNOT make people to like you or demand friendship from them, and the more you push and demand that they do, the further you're pushing them back away from you. You're alienating people from your life by putting too much pressure on them to like you - they'll either accept you as you are or not

wow - what a MOB comment to say

makes no since and it's all over the place? you say force - then you say they will not be around - then you say if they want to be around they will - so when they are around I guess that is not forcing them? or they are around they are being forced?
enjoy chill'n with your friends funsnowbird

[Deleted]

Znew,

That's what Lassie said. And I am agreeing with her.

You have to understand meaning behind the words. Znew. You can't never pressure yourself to anyone nor demand from anyone. That's what it means to me.

And Thank you. I have many friends even in this board and enjoy them greatly. And I am sure, they do as well. I might never meet them again with face to face. But that doesn't mean I don't enjoy their friendship.
Or, not being sincere when I respond to them.

Real friends never demands anything except being in your company.

[Reckless Roselia]

I have many friends in this board and enjoy them greatly. And I am sure, they do as well.

Awwww, I sure enjoy your company and wisdom, Fun.

I think ZinHD misunderstood the original poster but I agree with the message too like yourself. Friendships shouldn't be forced because if they are then they're bound to break. It reminds me of my control-freak thread. One shouldn't control another's moves. What's to come out of it? Only tears.

[Deleted]

Jan 5, 2013 12:58:45 GMT -5 Reckless Roselia said:

I have many friends in this board and enjoy them greatly. And I am sure, they do as well.

Awwww, I sure enjoy your company and wisdom, Fun.

I think ZinHD misunderstood the original poster but I agree with the message too like yourself. Friendships shouldn't be forced because if they are then they're bound to break. It reminds me of my control-freak thread. One shouldn't control another's moves. What's to come out of it? Only tears.

Rose,

You are so right, my dear friend.

[Reckless Roselia]

Real friends never demands anything except being in your company.

for you missy. Very true. I sure miss not talking to you and I enjoy our fun here.

[Deleted]

Thank you, Rose.

And I enjoy our times together in here very much. ;D

[ZaireinHD]

the part that gets to me is a friendship takes work on both sides. you have an argument, trust is broken, or financial burden - well that takes work to stay together and move onward. people change and lives change, but it takes all to keep a friendship going. Trust is something major. trust is something tough to get past. I give up! we were at a certain level of friendship and to be ignored, or have to go back to speaking to each other like we just met! ridiculous

[ZaireinHD]

To My Fair Weather Friend
To My Best Friend
To My Closest Friend I've Ever Had In My Life

I can see how someone from the outside could say there could be another to top my love for you, as you are the top love of my life. I have to disagree because you are so unique and will hold a special place in my heart! I can never let anyone get as close to me as we once were.

When I say I Love You I mean it sincerely and as genuine love for you! I don't know if it's easy or difficult for you to keep pushing me out of your life? But despite your words of passion, and expressions of love for me, for us, and after we shared tears of sorrow of you expressing how wrong you were for pushing me away before; how I was such a good friend to you; I know this time it's for good.

I will miss you always and forever and a day. As time moves forward and my heart will eventually heal, my thoughts of you and us will not fade. I do wish the best for you and look forward to the day we may cross paths and smile towards each other once again.

Love Zaire