swamp
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Post by swamp on Jan 20, 2011 13:18:24 GMT -5
This made me think of the Eminem line: "Maybe it was an accident" "What? She tripped, fell, landed on his dick?" I was drunk and that's exactly how it happened, swear to God!
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The J
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Post by The J on Jan 20, 2011 13:19:33 GMT -5
This made me think of the Eminem line: "Maybe it was an accident" "What? She tripped, fell, landed on his dick?" I was drunk and that's exactly how it happened, swear to God! But only after you ripped my pants off and threw me on the floor!
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jan 20, 2011 13:20:24 GMT -5
I was drunk and that's exactly how it happened, swear to God! But only after you ripped my pants off and threw me on the floor! Pfft. Unimportant details..........
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The J
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Post by The J on Jan 20, 2011 13:27:07 GMT -5
Sometimes you just have to realize that the ability to assume the upright position means that you are doing much better than some who can't! Going back a ways, for some reason, I find this to be an incredibly positive statement but you guys don't? Why am I so misunderstood? Because it comes off as "you should be happy no matter what, because somewhere in the world someone is worse off than you".
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2011 13:32:47 GMT -5
I have 2 non-test tube children, and my youngest is 4. I am 40, so you must be in your late 40's, early 50's then?
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jan 20, 2011 13:35:34 GMT -5
No, I think it disregards and belittles a persons emotional or physical pain that they are currently feeling because other people are also in pain. I had a particularly rough 2010. DH tried to make me feel better by telling me how much better off I was than other people. well, it still didnt help because my dog was still dead, my mom was still seriously ill, I still suffered a major career setback, I still have a difficult 3 year old, and I had still gained weight from the stress. Disregarding my experiences didn't make me feel any better.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jan 20, 2011 13:35:38 GMT -5
You could have a 9 year old and be in your mid twenties, it all depends on when you started. I'm outta here, I have things to do, have a good day all.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2011 13:37:29 GMT -5
See ya CL!
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jan 20, 2011 13:46:19 GMT -5
Sometimes you just have to realize that the ability to assume the upright position means that you are doing much better than some who can't!
Going back a ways, for some reason, I find this to be an incredibly positive statement but you guys don't? Why am I so misunderstood?
Because it comes off as "you should be happy no matter what, because somewhere in the world someone is worse off than you".
Agreed. After spending over a year now on the WIR pregnancy thread I am learning that when people are down the LAST thing they want to hear is how someone else way far off has more difficult problems than they do.
It is trite and dismisses their pain.
Now yes some problems are more serious than others, but no one wants their pain dismissed and told to put on a sunny face because right now someone is being shot in Dafur.
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Post by kinetickid on Jan 20, 2011 14:53:01 GMT -5
There may be no reasoning in a very small child. A Time Out..chair/corner may do instead of a spanking. Agreed. I've never once spanked my daughter and I don't foresee it happening. Time outs--which we call "jail" at home--and taking away favorite toys do the trick just fine.
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Bob Ross
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Post by Bob Ross on Jan 20, 2011 14:55:01 GMT -5
Damn skippy.
I got spanked as a child and it's only right that you do unto others as you had done unto you. Besides, it's spanking season and I got a hankerin' for some spankerin'. ;D
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Post by kinetickid on Jan 20, 2011 14:59:10 GMT -5
I can tell you right now that if my DH cheats on me there will be a divorce. ETA: I will consider it a lesson in self-respect. Maybe it's because I'm not the jealous or possessive type, but I told Hubby that I don't care if he cheats, as long as he doesn't bring home any diseases and doesn't get the chick pregnant (I don't want any more expenses in our budget, i.e. child support ). Would I divorce him just because he put his penis in someone else's vagina? Nope. As long as he's discreet and respectful towards me and our kid, I don't care. If he filed for a divorce, I wouldn't contest it, though...provided, of course, I got at least 50% of the assets.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jan 20, 2011 15:02:05 GMT -5
Maybe it's because I'm not the jealous or possessive type, but I told Hubby that I don't care if he cheats, as long as he doesn't bring home any diseases and doesn't get the chick pregnant
Then why get married? I have nothing against open marriages I just don't understand bindng yourself legally to someone in that scenario.
I do not think it is wrong to expect that I am marrying someone and binding myself to that person legally that I be the only person they sleep with.
Would I divorce him? I don't know, but I would certainly care that he slept with someone else because we never agreed to have an open marriage.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Jan 20, 2011 15:44:26 GMT -5
For me there are two different types of cheating/affairs. One is a one time physical encounter which obviously showed extremely poor judgement but it never happened again. There is a chance I may be able to forgive and move forward. The other is a long term, emotionally entangled affair that also involves lying and deception on the part of the cheating spouse. That I most likely could not get over and DH would be gone. I'd have a hard time with either - how would I know the one time was really a one time only? I'd be forever suspicious. **note: I do believe in exceptions, but I can't think of any right now....
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jan 20, 2011 15:44:53 GMT -5
I'm not sure about "emotional affairs" because every time I read a definition the lines are just too blurry for me.
That being said since DH and I married, to quote SJ we entered a contract. Part of that contract is I am his one and only.
We did not agree to an open marriage in any form. I would certainly care and certainly be hurt because he breached our agreement when we got married.
Would it be enough to divorce over I don't know, but it would certainly be enough that he'd have to work like mad to earn my trust back.
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DebMD (banned)
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Post by DebMD (banned) on Jan 20, 2011 15:47:54 GMT -5
I don't think spanking kids and cheating spouses are related ideas.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jan 20, 2011 15:49:07 GMT -5
I don't think spanking kids and cheating spouses are related ideas. Neither do I, but the conversation has flowed this way. Relax and enjoy the ride.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jan 20, 2011 15:50:01 GMT -5
nqty, I agree that the trust would definitely be broken and there would have to be a lot of work to see if it could ever be rebuilt. If I felt I couldn't fully trust him ever again, that is my sign that the relationship is over. I refuse to live feeling like I have to constantly look over my husband's shoulder to make sure he's not doing anything behind my back. What?! You don't check his wallet, his shirt collar, his pockets, his cell phone, he email, his FB page, track his spending and make him account for every second of his day? Pfft. You're missing clues.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jan 20, 2011 15:52:07 GMT -5
What?! You don't check his wallet, his shirt collar, his pockets, his cell phone, he email, his FB page, track his spending and make him account for every second of his day? Pfft. You're missing clues. I know, right? But life is much simpler with my head stuck in the sand... I don't like the sand up my nose, though.
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sesfw
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Post by sesfw on Jan 20, 2011 16:52:54 GMT -5
There is an old saying: 'A pat on the back builds character; if administered often enough, hard enough, and low enough'.
I don't believe in beating a child, but at times a swat on the seat of the pants is called for.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jan 20, 2011 17:53:00 GMT -5
I can't read this without thinking of my friend who was explaining how if he and his brother started fighting his mom would get a paddle out of the sideboard. He was standing in his kitchen and said, "we had a thing that was like this" and pointed to the cupboard and then went on to show how he could hear it open and close and his mom get the paddle out, and by the time she got to where he and his brother were they were hugging and acting all nice. He kept getting distracted in the story looking at the cupboard, and as he went on he would say "Yeah, it was like this. A lot like this." After the story was over his wife walked in the room and he said "Honey, where did we get this?" And she answered "Your mother gave it to me - she didn't want it anymore." The next time I went back it was gone.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Jan 20, 2011 18:11:25 GMT -5
I don't think spanking should become the common way of punishing a child; however, there are times when I, personally, think a spanking just might be the right thing to do. I wasn't spanked often as a child, and I was never beaten. The spankings did me no real harm and certainly taught me to be a bit more respectful of my parents. It is, however, in my opinion, a personal decision to be made by the parents.
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Post by rick on Jan 20, 2011 18:15:49 GMT -5
Hell yes if they need it
and no I havent read the whole thread
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josie
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Post by josie on Jan 20, 2011 18:22:44 GMT -5
Hi RJ, how was your day?
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Post by rick on Jan 20, 2011 18:47:05 GMT -5
It was good, how about you
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2011 19:16:31 GMT -5
I started reading the whole thread. I fell asleep in the middle of a page about halfway through when Snerd was saying the same things she'd already said but using different words in a different order. When I woke up, I thought I'd skip to page 8 to see if anything changed. Nope.
Snerd seems to be rather rigid. And boring.
Here are questions that have nothing to do with spanking: Will Snerd be blindsided when her DH announces some day that he's hitting the road? Will the fact that he was horrified that she didn't spare the rod (and said so to her) be a clue? Will he seek comfort away from the marital bed? Will he demand full custody so that his children aren't subjected to spankings?
Tune in tomorrow. Or maybe even a little later this evening.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jan 20, 2011 19:23:43 GMT -5
Not reading this whole thing, too lazy, but I think every kid needs at least two good ass whoopins to grow up right. The first time they lie, and the first time they steal.
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Post by piratesparrot on Jan 20, 2011 19:39:00 GMT -5
I believe in spanking a child when necessary. Not slapping, pinching, screaming endlessly, and only with your hand on the behind. If you use a paddle or belt it is just to much. You can't feel if you are really hurting them if you use an object to do the job. If if hurts your hand it hurts their behind. (probably hurts your hand more since it isn't as padded) If you do it once or twice when it is really merited you really won't have to keep doing it. They know the consequences and tend to think before misbehaving in the future. Go ahead and flame away.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2011 23:48:34 GMT -5
Should Parents Spank Their Kids???I have & I would again. I think kids that get spanked learn at a much earlier age that they have limits & there are repercussions to their actions. Sure you can do it by time outs but I believe that it slows the child's development. Also time outs don't work on some kids (my grandson for one . Nobody should be spanking an 18 month old for anything.Snerdley, maybe it's a difference in definition but I've never heard of anyone spanking a child under say 5 years old. Popping on the butt, yet but that's not a true spanking to me. And yes I did pop my children at young ages when they needed it. The first time on my oldest was when he was old enough to stamp his foot at his mother & holler NO. One Pop (& he was in a diaper) & the next time he showed her disrespect was when he was 17 (& if he hadn't had one heck of a good reason then I would have popped him again (but maybe not on the butt). I'll also say that I don't argue with children any more than I argue with rocks because I am directing them to do something & I've got better things to do with my time that try to convince them to do what I want them to do. I feel than anyone who argues with a 3, 5 or 7 year old is a fool. On the other hand I don't understand someone (as someone said) who spanks (we called it a whippin when I was a kid) their child while they are mad. I don't even understand being mad because of something they did. All kids screw up & your job is to correct them. No big deal, you correct them & then move on. I never spanked a child while I was mad in my life. I also never spanked one without sitting him down & telling him what he did wrong & why he was getting a spanking (now that's mental torture but I guess that a topic for another thread). Often I get the idea that those that would NEVER spank a child are the people that are not sure that they can control themselves. I'm not saying that's true, just the impression that I get.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2011 23:52:25 GMT -5
Oh & I should add another thing. I used spanking to correct both of my children. Not once did either of them get a bruise. If you hit a child hard enough to bruise them then you shouldn't be spanking a child because your an abusive fool & should be horse whipped. Spanking is not abuse & there is a line between them.
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