Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jan 20, 2011 12:22:20 GMT -5
Funny how promoting forgiveness, marital harmony and working on one's relationship engages so much controversy. As if saying so is somehow a 'slam'. Strange. Snerdly, if you said "I believe it is in the best interest of the parents to exhaust all avenues of reconciliation before divorce" that would be fine. But you came across as a know-it-all bitch who believes that anyone who dared divorced sucks as both a person and a parent....unless you have walked in someone's shoes, stop the judgment.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2011 12:22:37 GMT -5
fixed!
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jan 20, 2011 12:22:56 GMT -5
<<< I don't care what anyone does >>> ...can we apply this to the "should we spank our kids" question? ;D Works for me
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jan 20, 2011 12:23:36 GMT -5
Shit, I didn't say murder the no-good bastard....just divorce his ass
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Jan 20, 2011 12:24:23 GMT -5
Funny how promoting forgiveness, marital harmony and working on one's relationship engages so much controversy. As if saying so is somehow a 'slam'. Strange. I know exactly what I went through with my ex-husband. I know exactly how hard I tried to keep our marriage together. I know exactly how much work he put into attempting to keep our marriage together. I know what I am still going through with him now. I know that when your marriage counselor looks at you and ask, "Exactly how long are you going to continue to see me before the inevitable happens?", it's time to throw in the towel....
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Post by jennml on Jan 20, 2011 12:24:32 GMT -5
Sometimes the love just dies or maybe was never really there in the first place. No amount of working on it can resurrect the relationship. From my own personal experience, I don't see anything wrong with being a child of divorce as long as both parents do put the child(ren) first. That's where it goes wrong. The parents use the child(ren) against each other or ignore them or make them feel unloved. My parent's divorced when I was 11 and, even at that age, I thanked God that they split. There were hard times, since it wasn't an amicable divorce. But I always knew that they both loved me...they just hated each other and that was fine with me. Maybe it depends on the kids personality, since I think my sister was a bit more traumatized (she was 2 when it happened). But again that was because my parent's kinda played mind games with each other over her visitation. I was old enough to tell them both to shut it and this is how I want it to work. I have a strong character and was very mature for my age. I was usually right and they figured that out pretty fast. Today I can't imagine how life would've been if they'd stayed together...kinda like hell on earth might be
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jan 20, 2011 12:25:17 GMT -5
Funny how promoting forgiveness, marital harmony and working on one's relationship engages so much controversy. As if saying so is somehow a 'slam'. Strange. Snerdly, if you said "I believe it is in the best interest of the parents to exhaust all avenues of reconciliation before divorce" that would be fine. But you came across as a know-it-all bitch who believes that anyone who dared divorced sucks as both a person and a parent....unless you have walked in someone's shoes, stop the judgment. #thumbsup#
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2011 12:25:33 GMT -5
So go ahead and stay in a miserable marriage . Do you have trouble reading? I am saying that both parents need to grow up and stop acting like babies and put their children ahead of themselves which often involves a hefty dose of forgiveness and unselfishness and effort to move forward. If you want to continue to eat worms, have a feast! And if you'd be ok with being your husband's punching bag, I hope you enjoy your knuckle sandwhich A husband should never ever hit his spouse. He should use his kids as a punching bag instead.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jan 20, 2011 12:25:47 GMT -5
It was doomed from the start. She's a black hole of attention and a control freak. He's a lazy and passive aggressive douchebag.
True, but it's being argued that anyone who divorces just threw in the towel and are selfish people who didn't put the interest of their kids first.
I'd argue that in their case that that is indeed the case, but then again we only know what the cameras showed and what magazines tell us. Not what happened when the camera was shut off for the night.
So they may have tried to work it out.
I told DH that having 8 kids is probably hard enough on your marriage, not a smart move to then invite a TV channel into your lives.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jan 20, 2011 12:29:03 GMT -5
"Sometimes the love just dies or maybe was never really there in the first place""
And people change over time. I'm not the same person I was when I got married in 2003. There was an adjustment period where it was a struggle. We muddled through it, but it wasn't easy. Things still aren't perfect, but it is what it is.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jan 20, 2011 12:34:14 GMT -5
I'm not the same person Why would anyone even expect to be the "same person". I don't even know what the heck that means. I've changed. I'm more outspoken, more confident, and less likely to put up with BS.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jan 20, 2011 12:34:58 GMT -5
Snerdly, if you said "I believe it is in the best interest of the parents to exhaust all avenues of reconciliation before divorce" that would be fine. But you came across as a know-it-all bitch who believes that anyone who dared divorced sucks as both a person and a parent....unless you have walked in someone's shoes, stop the judgment. Read more: notmsnmoney.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=fun&action=display&thread=1959&page=4#ixzz1Bb8HJf5H I havent' called anyone a bitch, but I am the "judgmental one?" Um. OK. Technically, she didn't call you one, she said you came across as one.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jan 20, 2011 12:36:08 GMT -5
Happy Divorce! Hooray! Yip, yip Yippee! I stand corrected. Next time one of my friends divorces, i will put it in it's proper perspective and have a celebratory dinner and party! I think some of them would deserve a party.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jan 20, 2011 12:36:23 GMT -5
Snerdly, if you said "I believe it is in the best interest of the parents to exhaust all avenues of reconciliation before divorce" that would be fine. But you came across as a know-it-all bitch who believes that anyone who dared divorced sucks as both a person and a parent....unless you have walked in someone's shoes, stop the judgment. Read more: notmsnmoney.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=fun&action=display&thread=1959&page=4#ixzz1Bb8HJf5H I havent' called anyone a bitch, but I am the "judgmental one?" Um. OK. I never said you were a bitch..I said how you were coming across in your earlier posts...hence everyone calling you judgmental
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Post by jennml on Jan 20, 2011 12:36:44 GMT -5
Oh...and to answer the op.
I am in favor of limited corporal punishment. It depends on the child's age, the misbehavior and whether other avenues have been exhausted.
My parents were pretty immature when they had me and I definitely got several beatings with everything from their hands to belts to shoes to broom handles...I learned to run real fast. My mom was also pretty strong with the verbal abuse. We've talked about all this history. My father is in denial (but he did stop hitting me after the divorce YAY). But my mom acknowledges what she did and asked me for forgiveness. It a whole thing with how my grandmother disciplined her (think kneeling on raw rice for hours) and how she didn't know any better. My sister never got hit so they did learn somewhat. My mom still messes with our heads though...I tell her she needs a shrink LOL.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jan 20, 2011 12:36:53 GMT -5
Happy Divorce! Hooray! Yip, yip Yippee! I stand corrected. Next time one of my friends divorces, i will put it in it's proper perspective and have a celebratory dinner and party! Huh?! I don't think anyone saying divorce is something to celebrate (well, I'm sure it is in some situations). I took it as you're being told by persons with different life experiences that you don't know what goes on behind closed doors and you shouldn't you assume they didnt' really try to work it out because they didnt' give you all the gory details.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jan 20, 2011 12:37:17 GMT -5
she said you came across as one. So, would you call that splitting the hairs on the top of your head or the side? You split hairs from the top, duh.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2011 12:38:03 GMT -5
If that is how the person who is going through the divorce wishes to regard it, then you should.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jan 20, 2011 12:38:06 GMT -5
I've changed. So what? Anyone who stays the same no longer has a pulse. OK, so you recognize people change. Maybe they were compatible when they got married, but they aren't now?
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jan 20, 2011 12:39:02 GMT -5
she said you came across as one. So, would you call that splitting the hairs on the top of your head or the side? You split hairs from the top, duh. I thought you split them from the bottom.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jan 20, 2011 12:39:26 GMT -5
I am being called a judgmental bitch though I haven't called anyone that but it has been said of me so I am the one? *bangs head on desk*...I didn't call YOU one...I said how you were coming across in earlier posts.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2011 12:39:35 GMT -5
I've changed. So what? Anyone who stays the same no longer has a pulse. OK, so you recognize people change. Maybe they were compatible when they got married, but they aren't now? I think Snerdly is saying that that is where the work to stay compatible comes in.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jan 20, 2011 12:40:40 GMT -5
OK, so you recognize people change. Maybe they were compatible when they got married, but they aren't now? I think Snerdly is saying that that is where the work to stay compatible comes in. And sometimes all the work in the world can't fix what's wrong.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jan 20, 2011 12:41:09 GMT -5
OK, you're just fucking with us now. You're not this dense.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jan 20, 2011 12:41:20 GMT -5
I think there is a wee-bit of grey area between staying together at all costs, and divorcing the first time you find a pair of dirty socks on the floor, and then celebrating it. I would venture to say that 99.99999999999% of divorces fall in the grey area.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2011 12:42:02 GMT -5
This I agree with.
I do not agree with sticking around after my spouse commits adultery.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jan 20, 2011 12:42:21 GMT -5
"Why would anyone even expect to be the "same person". I don't even know what the heck that means. " "What does "compatible" mean? I don't even know what that means." You don't seem to grasp basic concepts...tell the truth, you were unschooled, right??
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2011 12:43:25 GMT -5
BTW, how do I use the quote and only quote part of the statement without having to post the whole thing ? Once you click the quote button you have to manually deleted the quoted section you don't want.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2011 12:43:49 GMT -5
I put the text I want to quote in between the quote boxes, and then delete all the other stuff that comes up.
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DebMD (banned)
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Post by DebMD (banned) on Jan 20, 2011 12:44:15 GMT -5
Be nice Mtequila
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