swasat
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Post by swasat on Jun 8, 2012 12:51:38 GMT -5
GEL,
The "internet" is not just one forum. There are plenty of forums and support areas out on the internet.
I do not believe, even for a second, that this forum was her lifeline. It was more of a venting place for her. She just didn't take it well when she was given other opinions. First tome she left many people blamed milee. This time she left many are blaming Miss Tequila. Seems to me it has become a game for people to leave and then the blame gets put on "someone".
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 8, 2012 12:52:01 GMT -5
Somebody thought it would be a good idea to tell her people were talking smack about her and come look at what was said about her. Was I the only one that caught that before the thread was locked? I didn't want to add more fuel by pointing it out at the time, but yeah she specfically said that someone contacted her and told her what was going on in the thread, that's why she came back. I was working (shocker!!) when the thread got locked/zapped, so I had no idea that happened.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 8, 2012 12:52:26 GMT -5
Who would be stupid enough to e-mail somebody and tell them the ugly things that were being said about them
You'd be surprised.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jun 8, 2012 12:52:29 GMT -5
I dunno. I kind of doubt that happened. Who would be stupid enough to e-mail somebody and tell them the ugly things that were being said about them. I'm betting she was lurking (as we all would - don't lie!) and used the e-mail thing as a vehicle to get back here after she said she was leaving. No, I really wouldn't...that seems like a pathetic cry for attention. I certainly wouldn't make a big announcement that I was leaving, just to lurk and see what everyone said about me.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Jun 8, 2012 12:52:38 GMT -5
Somebody thought it would be a good idea to tell her people were talking smack about her and come look at what was said about her. Was I the only one that caught that before the thread was locked? I didn't want to add more fuel by pointing it out at the time, but yeah she specfically said that someone contacted her and told her what was going on in the thread, that's why she came back. You're not the only person who caught that. I was actually trying to figure out initially if it was a friend of hers or someone who hated her and wanted to piss her off knowing she wouldn't resist coming back to the thread. I'm assuming it was a friend because she said they emailed her.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 8, 2012 12:52:53 GMT -5
The "internet" is not just one forum. There are plenty of forums and support areas out on the internet. I do not believe, even for a second, that this forum was her lifeline. It was more of a venting place for her. She just didn't take it well when she was given other opinions. First tome she left many people blamed milee. This time she left many are blaming Miss Tequila. Seems to me it has become a game for people to leave and then the blame gets put on "someone". Are you seeing the irony in blaming 2 strong women who overcame crappy childhoods to become successful.............
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jun 8, 2012 12:52:58 GMT -5
"Do you want to see even that taken away from them because a couple of people can't control themselves? I don't." Thankfully, people have EVERY opportunity to ignore the posters they think makes this place intolerable for them. It's not like someone ignores me, I find out, and then create alternate accounts just so I can keep arguing with them. That's true, hoops. But not everyone has the strength you do. I have a couple of posters on ignore and your advice is very good advice. I still find it difficult to believe that putting someone on "ignore" is a better alternative than to just expect everyone to be civil.
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on Jun 8, 2012 12:53:05 GMT -5
Somebody thought it would be a good idea to tell her people were talking smack about her and come look at what was said about her. Was I the only one that caught that before the thread was locked? I didn't want to add more fuel by pointing it out at the time, but yeah she specfically said that someone contacted her and told her what was going on in the thread, that's why she came back. I thought the exact same thing. I didn't participate in that thread at all, but read though it and I couldn't believe someone actually told her she was being discussed and she should come back and read it.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jun 8, 2012 12:53:34 GMT -5
Who would be stupid enough to e-mail somebody and tell them the ugly things that were being said about themYou'd be surprised. LOL!! I'm sure you are probably right. Just cause I wouldn't do it doesn't mean nobody would! I take it back!
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 8, 2012 12:54:19 GMT -5
And how do I say this nicely, if someone is unstable enough that they are going to take words from anonymous posters to heart, then they really need to step away from teh computer and seek professional help.
Seriously, sometimes bipolar people cannot stop themselves from doing something self destructive when they're in an extreme state. It's a well-known hallmark of the disease. Are we justified in continuing to push and push and push when someone clearly NEEDS to step away but is unable to do so for some reason, until they finally snap?
I give everyone credit for being an adult and knowing what they can take and what they want to take. You're absolutely right in that I don't worry about deciding for others what they can take or not. It's fairly easy to disengage from a conversation on an internet message board if you can't handle it at the time.
Which is fine as far as it goes. 99% of the time, I agree with you - because people are responsible for their own choices. But like I said yesterday, this goes out the window a little bit with mental illness. There's a reason that people declared legally insane are not responsible for their own actions. Because the standard changes when you can't control your own mind!
Shasta may not have been able to stop herself from continuing to refresh the screen, getting more upset each and every time, giving us more "fodder" each and every time, and continuing the cycle. Literally she might have been unable to stop doing that. So I, for one, am not going to continue to engage someone in that situation. And I'm going to encourage others to drop it as well.
To me that's not "coddling" that's just acknowledging when it's time to walk away.
But when the person has obviously been set off, and starts alluding to suicide, or saying completely crazy things, and people continue to egg them on (or talk shit after they've deleted their accounts)... well, that's a problem. But I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree on that point.
You don't have to agree to disagree with me, I think you nailed it perfectly.
Should people have posted what they did? No. But I think the person who emailed her telling her to come back and read it personally did far more damage.
I agree with this too. Assuming whoever that was knows Shasta IRL or at least corresponds with her enough to know how fragile she was, I'm sorry but that was a phenomenally stupid thing to do.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 8, 2012 12:54:43 GMT -5
At first I couldn't believe it but then thinking back to when I originally started playing around on message boards (in the days of dial up AOL!) there are some real kooks out there. I honestly would not be surprised if someone couldn't resist the drama of alerting her to what was going on.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Jun 8, 2012 12:54:56 GMT -5
"But not everyone has the strength you do."
Cmon now. The "strength" I do? It's not exactly Herculean to press the ignore button if someone routinely annoys you or makes you upset.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jun 8, 2012 12:54:58 GMT -5
Of course I know there are other places to go, but they aren't any worse or any better. I'm just saying maybe people could consider that others may not be in as good a place as they are. That's all.
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Jun 8, 2012 12:55:22 GMT -5
The "internet" is not just one forum. There are plenty of forums and support areas out on the internet. I do not believe, even for a second, that this forum was her lifeline. It was more of a venting place for her. She just didn't take it well when she was given other opinions. First tome she left many people blamed milee. This time she left many are blaming Miss Tequila. Seems to me it has become a game for people to leave and then the blame gets put on "someone". Are you seeing the irony in blaming 2 strong women who overcame crappy childhoods to become successful............. Totally
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jun 8, 2012 12:55:39 GMT -5
"But not everyone has the strength you do." Cmon now. The "strength" I do? It's not exactly Herculean to press the ignore button if someone routinely annoys you or makes you upset. LOL!! I disagree! It's VERY hard to put someone on "ignore" because you just HAVE to know what they are saying about you!! Believe me. It took me WEEKS!!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2012 12:55:53 GMT -5
We're as dysfunctional as ever, WWBG! ;D
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Jun 8, 2012 12:56:58 GMT -5
"But not everyone has the strength you do." Cmon now. The "strength" I do? It's not exactly Herculean to press the ignore button if someone routinely annoys you or makes you upset. LOL!! I disagree! It's VERY hard to put someone on "ignore" because you just HAVE to know what they are saying about you!! Believe me. It took me WEEKS!! If she has the strength to delete her account, and make a thread about leaving, she has the strength to hit ignore.
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Jun 8, 2012 12:57:49 GMT -5
LOL!! I disagree! It's VERY hard to put someone on "ignore" because you just HAVE to know what they are saying about you!! Believe me. It took me WEEKS!! If she has the strength to delete her account, and make a thread about leaving, she has the strength to hit ignore. Dang it hoops!!! I couldn't agree more.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Jun 8, 2012 12:58:00 GMT -5
If your brain chemistry compels you to engage in self-destructive behavior, it does require some strength to resist. Many are not able to. You have to keep in mind that these types of mental illnesses can completely change the way someone views the world.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 8, 2012 12:58:11 GMT -5
This is a serious question. I obviously disagree wtih Shasta on almost every issue. The fact that I disagree and offer opposing views does not make me mean. I am a staunch conservative....what the hell do you think I'm going to post regarding welfare, food stamps, etc? If someone doesn't like my views, they should put me on ignore.
Miss T, I posted disagreeing with Shasta too! There's nothing wrong with disagreeing with a poster. I didn't even care that we were talking about her after she ostensibly left - that happens when you take the time to post a farewell thread.
I only objected after she came back to tell us she was feeling suicidal. I'm familiar enough with bipolar to recognize the self-destructive nature of such a post. She said reading the posts was making her worse and worse; yet she was obviously continuing to read them, AND she said she was feeling suicidal. That's like an alarm bell to me, a cry for help.
At that point, continuing to elucidate why I disagreed with her was less important than simply shutting up so I didn't personally make things worse. And yes, I was going to try to convince others to do the same. No message board debate is worth someone's life.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jun 8, 2012 12:58:12 GMT -5
The "internet" is not just one forum. There are plenty of forums and support areas out on the internet. I do not believe, even for a second, that this forum was her lifeline. It was more of a venting place for her. She just didn't take it well when she was given other opinions. First tome she left many people blamed milee. This time she left many are blaming Miss Tequila. Seems to me it has become a game for people to leave and then the blame gets put on "someone". Are you seeing the irony in blaming 2 strong women who overcame crappy childhoods to become successful............. Wow...I didn't know I had that much power to force someone from teh boards....F the mean girl jacket, I want the God damn crown!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2012 12:58:26 GMT -5
Fixed, no need to thank me ;D
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ken a.k.a OMK
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Post by ken a.k.a OMK on Jun 8, 2012 12:58:32 GMT -5
"But not everyone has the strength you do." Cmon now. The "strength" I do? It's not exactly Herculean to press the ignore button if someone routinely annoys you or makes you upset. LOL!! I disagree! It's VERY hard to put someone on "ignore" because you just HAVE to know what they are saying about you!! Believe me. It took me WEEKS!! Best to ignore them in your head. And talk about them behind their backs.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jun 8, 2012 12:59:21 GMT -5
This is a serious question. I obviously disagree wtih Shasta on almost every issue. The fact that I disagree and offer opposing views does not make me mean. I am a staunch conservative....what the hell do you think I'm going to post regarding welfare, food stamps, etc? If someone doesn't like my views, they should put me on ignore. Miss T, I posted disagreeing with Shasta too! There's nothing wrong with disagreeing with a poster. I didn't even care that we were talking about her after she ostensibly left - that happens when you take the time to post a farewell thread. I only objected after she came back to tell us she was feeling suicidal. I'm familiar enough with bipolar to recognize the self-destructive nature of such a post. She said reading the posts was making her worse and worse; yet she was obviously continuing to read them, AND she said she was feeling suicidal. That's like an alarm bell to me, a cry for help. At that point, continuing to elucidate why I disagreed with her was less important than simply shutting up so I didn't personally make things worse. And yes, I was going to try to convince others to do the same. No message board debate is worth someone's life. I wasn't around when she came back so I missed her posts. And ehre I go again, but if someoen is emotionally unstable step away from the message boards and get some help.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jun 8, 2012 12:59:36 GMT -5
LOL!!!
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Jun 8, 2012 13:00:04 GMT -5
If your brain chemistry compels you to engage in self-destructive behavior, it does require some strength to resist. Many are not able to. You have to keep in mind that these types of mental illnesses can completely change the way someone views the world. Yes, but she had the "clarity" to delete her account, to post threads about leaving, to apparently actually leave. I would agree more about "not being able" to hit ignore if she hadn't already demonstrated these other clear actions about not engaging the forum.
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Jun 8, 2012 13:00:15 GMT -5
Fixed, no need to thank me ;D
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 8, 2012 13:00:19 GMT -5
AND she could have refused to look at it. No body put a gun to her head to take a look at it and comment on it. She could have stayed away if she really wanted to stay away.
Again, this is NOT necessarily true of someone with unmedicated bipolar disorder.
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The J
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Post by The J on Jun 8, 2012 13:04:00 GMT -5
I'm locking this thread. We don't need to have a discussion about posters who are no longer here.
-- The mOd of YM
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