Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jun 8, 2012 12:38:56 GMT -5
I rather think it's the people who come here specifically to dig at people and push their buttons are the ones who should consider hitting that big red "x" and seeking psychiatric help. Not the people who still have the ability to laugh AND cry. Not the ones who realize there are real people behind the screens and not just targets for some stupid junior high game. It's all fun and games to dig at somebody until you dig deep enough that you actually hit something. Then it's not so funny anymore and everybody was just "teasing". Huh?? I said, "I can see someone wasn't breastfed"...I don't see how that was digging deep...JFC, I say that along with 'I see someone's mommy didn't hug them at night" quite a lot....I can honestly say, TT is the only one that ever went off the deepend over it. And no, I do not come here to dig at people. But I'm also not going to sit blindly while someone posts something I completely disagree with. That was your big tirade a few weeks ago on EE...that if someone says something you dont' agree wtih, you feel duty bound to speak up. Well guess what, I do t oand that's just what I was doing in the Shasta threads.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 8, 2012 12:39:35 GMT -5
Do you mean to tell me that you were unable to recognize that TT was getting upset?
Honestly her intial reaction was out of left field to me.
From what I remember of that thread people DID start to back off after she posted her mother died of breast cancer.
But she kept going. . and going . .and going. . .and going.
That's when people starting giving it back.
Does it make it right? No, but dammit I am agreeing with Hoops again you get as good as you recieve.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jun 8, 2012 12:40:20 GMT -5
The two times listed are two times too many.
Wow. Say that fast three times!
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jun 8, 2012 12:40:26 GMT -5
Did I say it was OK when I did it? I don't think it is. But you obviously do, so go for it. As I've said several times, of course there are things people are going to take to heart for some completely random reason. We can't know what will set someone off. And it's not our responsibility to monitor everyone else's reaction to innocuous comments. But when the person has obviously been set off, and starts alluding to suicide, and people continue to egg them on (or talk shit after they've deleted their accounts)... well, that's a problem. But I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree on that point. When the hell did TT threaten suicide? as for the Shasta comments, by the time I jumped into the thread, she had already said her farewell speach and said she wasn't coming back. Why would I assume she would read what I wrote when she had already said she was leaving?
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 8, 2012 12:41:26 GMT -5
JMO. Didn't mean to revive an old thread. But it does seem that a few posters have a gift for sensing weakness - and then putting the knife in just a little more. It worries me that one of these days, the "joking" and "honesty" is going to go too far and someone will be hurt. I was getting that vibe from Shasta's thread.
Me too. While I don't think we have to watch what we say to every person all the time "in case" we might be joking about something sensitive, I do think we have a responsibility not to deliberately bait someone who is already on the edge.
When someone tells me that they are suicidal and that reading message board posts is making them more depressed, I back the hell off. To me, that's a clear signal that WHATEVER our original intentions, we need to cut it out. Not because we're necessarily wrong or because we were deliberately trying to hurt anyone but because to continue at that point WOULD be wrong and WOULD be deliberately trying to hurt. There's no other motive to yanking someone's chain when you know they are fragile.
I keep thinking of these kids that commit suicide over Facebook drama. Yes, we're adults and we should know better but mental illness is just a nasty, horrible piece of work that can make people do, literally, crazy things. I don't want to be the final straw for someone who's already close to that line.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Jun 8, 2012 12:41:29 GMT -5
I was talking about Shasta.
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Jun 8, 2012 12:43:12 GMT -5
The two times listed are two times too many. Wow. Say that fast three times. I disagree about tt. Totally disagree. SHE was the one who started the fight. SHE was the one who never ended it. Others are human like her and will only take it for a while. The other case, suffice it to say that if someone keeps coming back and adding fuel to fodder then fire is imminent. You don't like what your are hearing, you stay away from it. Period.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jun 8, 2012 12:43:18 GMT -5
I was talking about Shasta. And I never baited Shasta....ever. One can disagree without baiting.
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Apple
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Post by Apple on Jun 8, 2012 12:43:20 GMT -5
There were a TON of "oh, that's horrible, tt" and "I'm so sorry, tt" and "breast cancer is a horrible thing, tt" but she couldn't focus on that, she was too wrapped up in "die of testicular cancer you evil bitch" to hear any of it, IMO. *sigh*
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2012 12:43:36 GMT -5
Shasta didn't speak about considering suicide until she came back, correct?
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jun 8, 2012 12:44:16 GMT -5
There were a TON of "oh, that's horrible, tt" and "I'm so sorry, tt" and "breast cancer is a horrible thing, tt" but she couldn't focus on that, she was too wrapped up in "die of testicular cancer you evil bitch" to hear any of it, IMO. *sigh* Which I think is when I started to get into it...considering I don't have testicles!lol
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Jun 8, 2012 12:44:18 GMT -5
Which would imply to me that the thread had lost any constructive purpose (as had Shasta's) and maybe people should just let it die.
(No pun intended).
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 8, 2012 12:44:44 GMT -5
To be honest about the Shasta thread while I think it was getting out of hand who the hell emailed it to her telling her "come look at this".
Should people have posted what they did? No. But I think the person who emailed her telling her to come back and read it personally did far more damage. If they had not done that I am assuming her farewall was indeed her farewell and she would have been none the wiser.
Before some pounces on me no that doesn't make any mean comments acceptable, just that there was additional fuel heaped onto the fire by whoever took it upon themselves to share. There was, IMHO, absolutely no need to call Shasta's attention to the thread once she had left.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jun 8, 2012 12:45:22 GMT -5
Which would imply to me that the thread had lost any constructive purpose (as had Shasta's) and maybe people should just let it die. (No pun intended). But it's ok for TT to continue but the rest of us are supposed to let it die?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2012 12:45:25 GMT -5
Hell yeah, DQ! when I recharge!
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Jun 8, 2012 12:45:27 GMT -5
Shasta didn't speak about considering suicide until she came back, correct? That was the first time *I* read it. I don't remember her speaking of it before. But I am might be wrong.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 8, 2012 12:46:50 GMT -5
Which would imply to me that the thread had lost any constructive purpose (as had Shasta's) and maybe people should just let it die.
People did, TT kept bumping it up by posting again.
Should people have still ignored her, yeah maybe. But when you contiously post on a thread over and over bumping it to the top of the page, usually that indicates you want to keep rumbling.
Whenever I've been stuck in drama I caused on other forums I let the thread DIE. I don't keep posting and bumping it to the top of the page.
TT wasn't an innocent victim on that thread as much as people like to think. Two wrongs don't make a right.
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Apple
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Post by Apple on Jun 8, 2012 12:47:02 GMT -5
Stupid job apparently makes me miss a lot...
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jun 8, 2012 12:47:17 GMT -5
To be honest about the Shasta thread while I think it was getting out of hand who the hell emailed it to her telling her "come look at this". Should people have posted what they did? No. But I think the person who emailed her telling her to come back and read it personally did far more damage. If they had not done that I am assuming her farewall was indeed her farewell and she would have been none the wiser. Before some pounces on me no that doesn't make any mean comments acceptable, just that there was additional fuel heaped onto the fire by whoever took it upon themselves to share. There was, IMHO, absolutely no need to call Shasta's attention to the thread once she had left. This is a serious question. I obviously disagree wtih Shasta on almost every issue. The fact that I disagree and offer opposing views does not make me mean. I am a staunch conservative....what the hell do you think I'm going to post regarding welfare, food stamps, etc? If someone doesn't like my views, they should put me on ignore.
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Jun 8, 2012 12:47:17 GMT -5
Before some pounces on me no that doesn't make any mean comments acceptable, just that there was additional fuel heaped onto the fire by whoever took it upon themselves to share. There was, IMHO, absolutely no need to call Shasta's attention to the thread once she had left. AND she could have refused to look at it. No body put a gun to her head to take a look at it and comment on it. She could have stayed away if she really wanted to stay away.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jun 8, 2012 12:47:47 GMT -5
Actually, I agree with you. If something upset me to that point, I'd just stay away. But we have to remember that, for some people, this is all they have. Being here is sort of a lifeline for some. I know that's difficult to understand but I can identify with it.
I don't like the real world much. Too much ugliness. I go to work and I go home. Some people are in even worse circumstances. They CANT leave the house for whateve reason. This place is important to them, too. Do you want to see even that taken away from them because a couple of people can't control themselves? I don't.
I know that sounds dramatic but it's the truth. The internet is all the connection to the outside world some people have. Consider yourselves lucky that you have other things.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Jun 8, 2012 12:48:15 GMT -5
She alluded to it the last time she left, a few months ago - not sure if the thread was deleted or not (or which one it is). About how she could no longer afford antidepressants and being on this message board wasn't good for her... when she came back, she seemed a lot more optimistic.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 8, 2012 12:48:28 GMT -5
To be honest about the Shasta thread while I think it was getting out of hand who the hell emailed it to her telling her "come look at this". Should people have posted what they did? No. But I think the person who emailed her telling her to come back and read it personally did far more damage. If they had not done that I am assuming her farewall was indeed her farewell and she would have been none the wiser. Before some pounces on me no that doesn't make any mean comments acceptable, just that there was additional fuel heaped onto the fire by whoever took it upon themselves to share. There was, IMHO, absolutely no need to call Shasta's attention to the thread once she had left. Hold on there. Somebody thought it would be a good idea to tell her people were talking smack about her and come look at what was said about her. After she left. Knowing that she's got mental health issues? Not that the thread was nice or anything, but, Geez, that was a freakin' brilliant idea.
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Works4me
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Post by Works4me on Jun 8, 2012 12:48:44 GMT -5
I want to apologize because I totally lost my temper about Shasta because of the yo=yoing. So much of what she was posting is not accurate regarding the social welfare system and yet otherr partts werre spot on. She has so much going for her and yet plays the victim. Also, some crimes and tragedies are not appropriate to post here.
Again, I am sorry for shooting my mouth off.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 8, 2012 12:50:29 GMT -5
Somebody thought it would be a good idea to tell her people were talking smack about her and come look at what was said about her.
Was I the only one that caught that before the thread was locked? I didn't want to add more fuel by pointing it out at the time, but yeah she specfically said that someone contacted her and told her what was going on in the thread, that's why she came back.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jun 8, 2012 12:50:58 GMT -5
I want to apologize because I totally lost my temper about Shasta because of the yo=yoing. So much of what she was posting is not accurate regarding the social welfare system and yet otherr partts werre spot on. She has so much going for her and yet plays the victim. Also, some crimes and tragedies are not appropriate to post here. Again, I am sorry for shooting my mouth off. But you shoudln't have to apologize.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Jun 8, 2012 12:51:02 GMT -5
"Do you want to see even that taken away from them because a couple of people can't control themselves? I don't."
Thankfully, people have EVERY opportunity to ignore the posters they think makes this place intolerable for them. It's not like someone ignores me, I find out, and then create alternate accounts just so I can keep arguing with them.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jun 8, 2012 12:51:12 GMT -5
I dunno. I kind of doubt that happened. Who would be stupid enough to e-mail somebody and tell them the ugly things that were being said about them. I'm betting she was lurking (as we all would - don't lie!) and used the e-mail thing as a vehicle to get back here after she said she was leaving.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Jun 8, 2012 12:51:19 GMT -5
This thread has taken an interesting turn. I think its good that we are taking a chance to reflect on our own behavior.
I agree that we have a lot of cases of "its all fun and games until someone gets hurt". It is very easy to accidentally hit a button without ever intending to. I've pressed buttons, I've had them pressed. Did people back off before a breaking point was hit? Did people give me the same as they'd give others and it was that I could take more without breaking? I don't know, and there is no way anyone else could know.
We've had a very dramatic few days. I think as we hit our 1.5 year mark (and of course, we have years of experience on the old boards) we have enough board experience to be able to cite cases where things went awry.
I certainly don't hold any belief that any community will ever be utopian, or drama free. I'm sure we'll cross lines simply by virtue of the topics we discuss.
For me the question is this: after the drama, is everything "OK" again, or not? The last few days have seen cases of the latter.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Jun 8, 2012 12:51:36 GMT -5
Maybe not, but it's a nice thing to do.
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