TheHaitian
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 27, 2014 19:39:10 GMT -5
Posts: 10,144
|
Post by TheHaitian on Jan 6, 2015 12:49:52 GMT -5
Or close to it?
(thinking out loud here... Haven't decided anything yet).
Comes June - July wether I stay with my current company or jump we were planning to do the following: -> my wife would sign up for health insurance with her company (they cover IVF treatment) at $450/month. -> we would start contributing enough to her 403b to max it (not to fritter away the money we no longer have to spend on my living expenses here).
She would be netting ~$400-500/month after taxes. Right now she nets ~$1,500/month (+$1,000 more in the 3 paychecks month) so between increase to 403b and insurance that is a ~1,000/month less.
+ 40,000 -> gross - 18,000 -> 403b - 3,800 -> ORP - 5,400 -> Insurance - 4,560 -> MBTA parking + train passes ---------------------------------- 8,240 -> taxable gross / 12 ---------------- $686.97/month taxable gross
For some reason I don't think my wife will be ok with that plan after she sees her first paycheck :eek::eek:
|
|
Chocolate Lover
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 15:54:19 GMT -5
Posts: 23,200
|
Post by Chocolate Lover on Jan 6, 2015 12:51:57 GMT -5
She has to think big picture here, it'll improve but for now, YIKES!
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 6, 2024 10:50:30 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 6, 2015 12:52:39 GMT -5
I pretty much do now. LOL
|
|
yogiii
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 19:38:00 GMT -5
Posts: 5,377
|
Post by yogiii on Jan 6, 2015 12:55:20 GMT -5
Doing similar now because working 3 days/week, maxing 401k, dependent care FSA, benefits for family, maxing ROTH, etc. Who cares?
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 6, 2024 10:50:30 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 6, 2015 12:57:12 GMT -5
At least that's all savings! Plenty of people work and hand over most of their paycheck to daycare. Short term pain for long term career goals.
|
|
TheHaitian
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 27, 2014 19:39:10 GMT -5
Posts: 10,144
|
Post by TheHaitian on Jan 6, 2015 12:59:02 GMT -5
Doing similar now because working 3 days/week, maxing 401k, dependent care FSA, benefits for family, maxing ROTH, etc. Who cares? I figure she will. And you are ok with that? Netting nothing I mean
|
|
swasat
Senior Member
Joined: Apr 13, 2011 9:34:28 GMT -5
Posts: 3,735
|
Post by swasat on Jan 6, 2015 12:59:24 GMT -5
that isn't working for nothing. Exactly!! She is saving 18K from all that. And netting $700 on top of that. How's that "nothing"?
|
|
andi9899
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 6, 2011 10:22:29 GMT -5
Posts: 31,315
|
Post by andi9899 on Jan 6, 2015 13:00:04 GMT -5
I would if it was for a good cause and I would come out ahead in the end. That and if I had a spouse to pay the bills.
|
|
gooddecisions
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 13:42:28 GMT -5
Posts: 2,418
|
Post by gooddecisions on Jan 6, 2015 13:06:05 GMT -5
yes, I work for benefits and daycare expenses. As someone else said, it isn't "for nothing."
|
|
giramomma
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 11:25:27 GMT -5
Posts: 22,138
|
Post by giramomma on Jan 6, 2015 13:07:18 GMT -5
Yes.
If DH ever gets a full time job, my plan would be to save the max in my 403b and my 457 account. I gross 50K a year at my day job. That would bring my income down to 15K a year before taxes and benefits..
Plus, isn't your wife's employer paying for her PhD? And, wouldn't you get tuition towards an MBA? I don't consider those things nothing.
|
|
8 Bit WWBG
Administrator
Your Money admin
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 8:57:29 GMT -5
Posts: 9,322
Today's Mood: Mega
|
Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Jan 6, 2015 13:09:19 GMT -5
...:::"And you are ok with that? Netting nothing I mean...":::...
Mathematically, I'm sure you can prove that you are coming out equal or ahead. The IVF coverage could be huge! Better to net $500 with $2k of IVF covered, than net $2k and have to spend it all on IVF. But thats not really the issue, is it. Its seeing your direct deposit as a pittance...
I sense Mrs. C (and most people in general) will be fine with that deal so long as it does not impact her ability to get what she wants. So long as there is still money for lifestyle and shopping, she may not care. If your finances are intertwined enough that the debit card is always accepted, then who cares from which direction the dollars populate the pot.
When she has to start brown bagging, saying "no" to social situations, dialing back on fashion... yeah, there will be a problem.
ETA: my parents lived that way for a while -- one check was almost entirely used for funding pre-tax expenses. But there was also more than enough left over to go around. There's no reason to fight over money when there is enough for everyone.
|
|
NancysSummerSip
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 19:19:42 GMT -5
Posts: 36,673
Today's Mood: Full of piss and vinegar
Favorite Drink: Anything with ice
|
Post by NancysSummerSip on Jan 6, 2015 13:17:03 GMT -5
Doing similar now because working 3 days/week, maxing 401k, dependent care FSA, benefits for family, maxing ROTH, etc. Who cares? I figure she will. And you are ok with that? Netting nothing I mean I'd get the agreement with Mrs. C in writing. Seriously. Your wife sounds lovely, but she likes what she likes. And if and when she cannot have what she wants, a verbal agreement will stand up about as long as a snowball in a firepit. She'll see the money in savings and think it's OK to "borrow" a little for the soon-to-be baby(ies), or more furniture, or the patio or whatever. If you do this, then you have to both be very clear on not just what you are doing, but why and what it means to a long-term future.
|
|
TheHaitian
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 27, 2014 19:39:10 GMT -5
Posts: 10,144
|
Post by TheHaitian on Jan 6, 2015 13:50:20 GMT -5
I figure she will. And you are ok with that? Netting nothing I mean I'd get the agreement with Mrs. C in writing. Seriously. Your wife sounds lovely, but she likes what she likes. And if and when she cannot have what she wants, a verbal agreement will stand up about as long as a snowball in a firepit. She'll see the money in savings and think it's OK to "borrow" a little for the soon-to-be baby(ies), or more furniture, or the patio or whatever. If you do this, then you have to both be very clear on not just what you are doing, but why and what it means to a long-term future. Technically/financially or on paper our standard of living should be the same. It is I know how she feels about her net pay now (as in she is not bringing anything to the table) and she has applied for other jobs at the University that would pay more. I think mentally she gets it, but looking at her net every 2 weeks being only ~$250 might be psychologically harder to accept. Ex: the first time we talk about getting her job insurance she said with a sad little voice: so that means my paycheck will be even less than it is now? Yes she gets it is for the best and a good cause but I think lately she has been associating her worth to what she brings to the table financially. The whole aunt finances thing have her looking at "money" differently. But at the end of the day our standard will be the same, the bills will get paid and she will be able to buy within reason the things she likes. Another ex: she felt I was disappointed in her for only making 40k. I have no issues with her making 40k, my issues was her spending like we made 300k which was a totally different issue. Now she doesn't anymore, her spending is more palatable so not an issue.
|
|
moneymom
Familiar Member
Joined: Mar 26, 2014 11:33:25 GMT -5
Posts: 624
|
Post by moneymom on Jan 6, 2015 13:53:31 GMT -5
When I was working with a 40k salary, my take home was $145 a month LOL. If you include transportations costs, I was working at "a loss". However I was THRILLED with our situation. I was having our childcare, healthcare, retirement all fully funded from that job. I'd do it again in a heartbeat, except for the fact I want to SAH with my daughter at this age in her life.
|
|
hoops902
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 13:21:29 GMT -5
Posts: 11,978
|
Post by hoops902 on Jan 6, 2015 13:57:45 GMT -5
Sure I'd work for nothing based on this definition of it. If my company gave me zero dollar paychecks but bought a house in my name, cars in my name, and paid all my expenses and wants. Who cares what the number on the check says? Money is only good for what it can buy you. Whether they give me money, or the things I would purchase with that money, I don't care.
|
|
8 Bit WWBG
Administrator
Your Money admin
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 8:57:29 GMT -5
Posts: 9,322
Today's Mood: Mega
|
Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Jan 6, 2015 14:02:15 GMT -5
...:::"I'd get the agreement with Mrs. C in writing. Seriously. Your wife sounds lovely, but she likes what she likes. And if and when she cannot have what she wants, a verbal agreement will stand up about as long as a snowball in a firepit. She'll see the money in savings and think it's OK to "borrow" a little for the soon-to-be baby(ies), or more furniture, or the patio or whatever. If you do this, then you have to both be very clear on not just what you are doing, but why and what it means to a long-term future.":::...
I've been where cawiau will be, and the ball is entirely in his court. What she'll likely do is "comply", but make it very clear that she'd compliance is making her unhappy, and she'll try to get him to free up other money from somewhere else so she can have both the savings, AND the spending. If cawiau, say, foregoes his savings, or uses his allowance, then she doesn't have to "break" the agreement, because she complied, and he chose to help her out. He has to steel himself to stand up to that, or she'll learn she just has to outlast him and she'll get her way.
She knows the value of the covered treatment, and the pre-tax transportation savings and whatever. It all that goes out the window the second a want is threatened. And when she has $500 available, and $1k of wants, she is going to seek out and latch on to ANY other scenario that gets her the additional $500. In the past, this is usually C-MIL, right?
Scaling the want down to fit the means is the absolute LAST thing a selfish person does. And they do it begrudgingly, and only temporarily.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 6, 2024 10:50:30 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 6, 2015 14:02:33 GMT -5
If you both conceptualizer this as 'working for nothing' ... Then SAH isn't going to look like all that big a deal...
|
|
yogiii
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 19:38:00 GMT -5
Posts: 5,377
|
Post by yogiii on Jan 6, 2015 14:02:52 GMT -5
Doing similar now because working 3 days/week, maxing 401k, dependent care FSA, benefits for family, maxing ROTH, etc. Who cares? I figure she will. And you are ok with that? Netting nothing I mean Yes, I fine with it. We work from one pot and of the two I'm the stingy one. Plus it isn't forever, I'll be full time again soon. My healthcare is a better deal than at DH's work. Why would I go with his plan just to see my paycheck "look" bigger?
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 6, 2024 10:50:30 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 6, 2015 14:06:51 GMT -5
My Mom took only about $50/week home the last 5-10 years before she retired. She put all her income into retirement accounts and other savings vehicles.
|
|
quince
Senior Member
Joined: Sept 23, 2011 17:51:12 GMT -5
Posts: 2,699
|
Post by quince on Jan 6, 2015 14:14:55 GMT -5
..Wait, that's working for nothing?
I already did that. Part time, maxed 401k, maxed HSA. My paychecks were <$200, so <$400 a month.
It's a bit silly to consider your net paycheck as what you are working for, when benefits and pretax savings are a part of it as well.
Unless you have an arrangement where her net paycheck is all the money she gets to control, you need to find a way to get through to her that what she is earning is her GROSS, and all you are doing as a family is changing which buckets her earnings get poured into. Might seem like nothing now, but it wouldn't seem like nothing if it all went away and all of that had to be done on your paycheck alone.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 6, 2024 10:50:30 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 6, 2015 14:18:38 GMT -5
Have her pay direct deposited. She might not realize.
|
|
NancysSummerSip
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 19:19:42 GMT -5
Posts: 36,673
Today's Mood: Full of piss and vinegar
Favorite Drink: Anything with ice
|
Post by NancysSummerSip on Jan 6, 2015 14:21:12 GMT -5
I'd get the agreement with Mrs. C in writing. Seriously. Your wife sounds lovely, but she likes what she likes. And if and when she cannot have what she wants, a verbal agreement will stand up about as long as a snowball in a firepit. She'll see the money in savings and think it's OK to "borrow" a little for the soon-to-be baby(ies), or more furniture, or the patio or whatever. If you do this, then you have to both be very clear on not just what you are doing, but why and what it means to a long-term future. I think mentally she gets it, but looking at her net every 2 weeks being only ~$250 might be psychologically harder to accept. All the more reason to have it on paper, with a budget for her spending attached. It may not make it easier, but if she sees, on paper, that what you are doing together means something for your future together, it would be a good start. Ex: the first time we talk about getting her job insurance she said with a sad little voice: so that means my paycheck will be even less than it is now? Ask her what matters more: the new shoes she can buy and wear for a year, or the insurance that can save her butt over and over, for the same money? You can't flaunt insurance on your arm like a Kate Spade purse, but Kate Spade isn't coming over to pay your ER bill, either. Yes she gets it is for the best and a good cause but I think lately she has been associating her worth to what she brings to the table financially. That's not about money. That's about the perception of who wields more power. Regardless of dollar signs, you are bringing equal worth to the table, just using a different vehicle to get it there. The whole aunt finances thing have her looking at "money" differently. But at the end of the day our standard will be the same, the bills will get paid and she will be able to buy within reason the things she likes. Set a very clear definition of within reason. What's within reason to Mrs. C. is likely out of bounds to some of us. And that's nothing personal. She likes what she likes, but if you are changing the financial dynamic in your house with an eye to a secure future, then her "within reason" needs a fixing.Another ex: she felt I was disappointed in her for only making 40k. I have no issues with her making 40k, my issues was her spending like we made 300k which was a totally different issue. Now she doesn't anymore, her spending is more palatable so not an issue. That's good, but everyone here who has kids has told you what little money-sucking vultures they are. Keep revisiting the spending and fine-tuning it, with an eye to the baby prize.
|
|
8 Bit WWBG
Administrator
Your Money admin
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 8:57:29 GMT -5
Posts: 9,322
Today's Mood: Mega
|
Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Jan 6, 2015 14:38:34 GMT -5
...:::"Ask her what matters more: the new shoes she can buy and wear for a year, or the insurance that can save her butt over and over, for the same money? You can't flaunt insurance on your arm like a Kate Spade purse, but Kate Spade isn't coming over to pay your ER bill, either.":::...
I think that she will say that of COURSE the insurance matters more than the shoes. But she can have both if something else which matters less than both (like say, deferring cawiau's car purchase another month) frees up the money.
|
|
yogiii
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 19:38:00 GMT -5
Posts: 5,377
|
Post by yogiii on Jan 6, 2015 14:41:51 GMT -5
...:::"Ask her what matters more: the new shoes she can buy and wear for a year, or the insurance that can save her butt over and over, for the same money? You can't flaunt insurance on your arm like a Kate Spade purse, but Kate Spade isn't coming over to pay your ER bill, either.":::... I think that she will say that of COURSE the insurance matters more than the shoes. But she can have both if something else which matters less than both (like say, deferring cawiau's car purchase another month) frees up the money. I think you're right. Maybe cawiau should run all scenarios through you first for practice!
|
|
8 Bit WWBG
Administrator
Your Money admin
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 8:57:29 GMT -5
Posts: 9,322
Today's Mood: Mega
|
Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Jan 6, 2015 14:54:12 GMT -5
I both abhor and admire selfish people. They are not afraid to ask for what they want, and they are not ashamed in the slightest. They are not deterred in the slightest by the fact that they got their way the last 5 times -- all that matters is "this time". At the end of the day, its the fault of the giver. Selfish people wouldn't ask if there wasn't a chance they'd get their way.
|
|
8 Bit WWBG
Administrator
Your Money admin
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 8:57:29 GMT -5
Posts: 9,322
Today's Mood: Mega
|
Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Jan 6, 2015 15:16:04 GMT -5
And these are the same paychecks out of which you now want to start taking $100/week cash for a car, and possibly $100/week for a vacation?
|
|
TheHaitian
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 27, 2014 19:39:10 GMT -5
Posts: 10,144
|
Post by TheHaitian on Jan 6, 2015 15:24:51 GMT -5
And these are the same paychecks out of which you now want to start taking $100/week cash for a car, and possibly $100/week for a vacation? Yep... Already took $100 out. She took my first $50 to donate to the church so I withdrew another $50
|
|
bean29
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 22:26:57 GMT -5
Posts: 10,199
|
Post by bean29 on Jan 6, 2015 15:27:31 GMT -5
BTDT,
I maxed my HSA last year. I put 10% in my 401K and towards the end of the year added 2% to a Roth. I had over $9,000 deducted for family health insurance and contributed to united way.
I paid enough into State Taxes to cover the joint tax bill for both DH and myself and he out earns me about 3:1. Small paychecks are a fact of life for me. When it starts to bother me (and it often does), I force myself to think about where the money would come from to cover all of the above if I was no longer using my earnings to fund it.
I negotiated quite a bit with my employer last year. Either via my arguments, or changes in the laws applicable to benefits or guilt, they gave me a raise and I no longer have health insurance deductions. There are a few others in the company that were affected by the same policy that gave me a Thank You, so I do think it was at least in part due to my efforts.
DH should earn enough to pay every expense we have. I do manage to pay all our living expenses from his earnings. We used a modified common potter system. He (gives me) $$ to cover our expenses every month. If I need more I talk to him and transfer more fund to our joint account. I have the authority to do this without discussing it with him, but prefer to discuss it with him (I don't know what needs he may have for the funds). It also has gone the other way where he asked me for funds.
I don't consider my earnings enough to live on, however I myself earn more than the average family in the US.
If I change jobs I will keep on making sure the family has health insurance and DH and I have retirement funds. My take home pay will probably continue to be small, but just because you put funds in a 401K, Roth or HSA (as an investment) does not mean you did not have anything to show for your efforts. I turned 50 this year and I am FB friends with a few former classmates who are on disability already. One Woman said she cashed out her pension to pay for car repairs. YIKES!
I consider the savings for retirement very important. Count yourselves lucky that you are ahead of the game. At the same time, if you need to reduce your 401K contributions to make having a family a reality, I would view that OK, as long as you still were able to contribute enough to live comfortably in retirement. Maxing you 401K when you are paying for childcare may not be a reality.
|
|
midjd
Administrator
Your Money Admin
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 14:09:23 GMT -5
Posts: 17,720
|
Post by midjd on Jan 6, 2015 15:41:21 GMT -5
If your wife is going to let the size of her paycheck dictate her self-worth, she probably should've gone into a different career field...
But to answer the OP, except for when I was working here as an independent contractor and had to pay SE taxes, I have never brought home more than 50% of my gross pay. It doesn't bother me -- except for taxes, the money that doesn't show up in my paycheck is still being held in my name elsewhere. And it makes retirement calculations a lot easier when you consider you're already living on <50% of gross.
|
|
Miss Tequila
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 10:13:45 GMT -5
Posts: 20,602
|
Post by Miss Tequila on Jan 6, 2015 15:41:36 GMT -5
Years ago I did work for next to nothing. I worked just two days a week when my kids were really small (20 hours) and after I paid daycare, commuting costs, 401k, taxes, etc., there wasn't a shit ton of money left over. But I knew it was short term until I was ready to return to work full time.
Today I would not take a job, work like I do for next to nothing. If I had a cushy, 8-5 job with no stress I might consider it at some point.
|
|