Which housing option would you choose?

[Ryan]

We live in an area that has a lot of old people…probably 85% of the community is 55 and up. When we were first looking for houses, I was initiatally against living where we ended up living because of this reason. Since we live in a land-locked area with a high price per square foot, there was very very little on the market when we were looking. In our old area, if I had a price range of $350-$550K, I’d have hundreds of houses. In our current area, you’d have about 25 houses fall within that range and (when you’re dealing with old houses) you can rule out most of them based on random stuff about the house. In case you’re wondering, living here means we have really really short commutes and the school districts are great.

Which Is why when we found a place that actually worked for us (had enough bedrooms, wasn’t on a busy street, large lot), we just figured we’d deal with some of the other stuff that wasn’t as ideal. Initially, I loved it and didn’t care that we didn’t have many neighbors that were our age. I figured that I was picky about who I spent time with and didn’t want to hangout with a bunch of annoying neighbors (that I couldn’t shake) because they happened to live right by me. Every Halloween though, I start to question this when I see the lack of kids coming to the door to trick or treat. I know in some of the more vibrant neighborhoods around my house, there is just a lot more activity in general….block parties, neighbor get-togethers, kids playing outside, etc.

I will say that growing up in a neighborhood like that as I did, I got kind of annoyed when I was a kid that my next door neighbors were always around. If I had friends from school over, I felt obligated to invite my neighbors over. So the upside of not having a ton of kids just hanging around is that I don’t have to worry about my kids hanging out with a neighbor that is a bad influence just because it’s convenient. My wife is also not a big drinker and I feel like these neighborhoods that are really close are the type of people that like to have people to drink with so they can just walk home.

I don’t know if I could ever justify moving into those types of neighborhoods mostly because the prices/taxes/lack of house is SO ridiculous, but there is a chance we might move if we can’t do an addition that makes our current house into what we want (2-3 years down the line).

So what’s your preference on neighborhoods? Particularly if you have kids?

PS. There are kids within a bike ride of our house, but the area isn’t just crawling with them.

[The Captain]

If it were only me I'd live on 20 acres in the middle of nowhere.


But I have a husband and a 12yo - so it's not just about me.  We recently moved from a somewhat secluded area to a neighborhood where most of the houses are on .5 to 1 acre.  I'm having to adjust to watching for kids riding bikes on the streets and having an endless parade of kids in and out of the house (the house across the street from us has 8 kids living there).   The neighbors are very gracious and have invited us to several parties.  As an extreme introvert it's been a big adjustment for me and is sometimes exhausting putting myself "out there".

DD LOVES having other kids around and has come into her own.  DH, who is just as much an extrovert (as I am introverted) has blossomed.  He's joined a few community groups and knows every neighbor in our little enclave. 

As painful as it's been, it's also been good for me.  I have 4 people I talk with/sit with on the train in the morning and chat with.  At my last home I rode the train for 3 years without getting to know a single soul.  I'm actually thinking about suggesting a regular game/card night with them.

So what I would want may not be the best for me. 

[Deleted]

I live in a family neighbourhood. It is going through a transition. A lot of the people left are 50+ and their kids are grown and gone. But they have been selling the houses and downsizing or moving out of town cause they don't have to commute to work anymore and we are getting kids back into the neighbourhood. In the meantime we all seem to be dog owners so everyone is always out walking the mutts. I like the activity.

[Tennesseer]

Fifty-five isn't old.

[gooddecisions]

I loved having lots of kids to be friends with in the neighborhood I grew up-- there were 2-3 kids in every house. As an adult, I am still friends with a lot of them and not just on facebook, in real life. And, I love having that for my kids now. If I had no kids, I'd probably live in the city and choose urban over suburban.

[Ryan]

Jan 19, 2015 16:15:31 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Fifty-five isn't old.

On average, closer to death than birth so I'd consider it old.  Time to face the music bro.

[Tennesseer]

Jan 19, 2015 16:43:42 GMT -5 Ryan said:

Jan 19, 2015 16:15:31 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Fifty-five isn't old.

On average, closer to death than birth so I'd consider it old.  Time to face the music bro.

I imagine you are closer to 55 than to 15, bro.

[Tennesseer]

Jan 19, 2015 16:43:42 GMT -5 Ryan said:

Jan 19, 2015 16:15:31 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Fifty-five isn't old.

On average, closer to death than birth so I'd consider it old.  Time to face the music bro.

One other note: the older you get the faster the years fly by. You will be fifty-five in no time flat. You can bank on that.

[Ryan]

Jan 19, 2015 16:47:09 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Jan 19, 2015 16:43:42 GMT -5 Ryan said:

On average, closer to death than birth so I'd consider it old.  Time to face the music bro.

I imagine you are closer to 55 than to 15, bro.

Stay on topic.  If you want to discuss your old age, start another thread.  Or tie a string around your finger and try to remember to do it later.  

[ArchietheDragon]

When we first looked for a house we both thought we would like the rural setting with multi acre lots and not too close neighbors.  We ended up in the quintessential suburb.   Quarter acre lots.  Sidewalks.  Streets lined up like good soldiers.   Neighborhood kids.  ETc.    We love it.  I can not imagine being out in the woods, now.  

[Tennesseer]

Jan 19, 2015 16:52:19 GMT -5 Ryan said:

Jan 19, 2015 16:47:09 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

I imagine you are closer to 55 than to 15, bro.

Stay on topic.  If you want to discuss your old age, start another thread.  Or tie a string around your finger and try to remember to do it later.  

Poor Ryan. He's getting old. You will be in the Home in no time.

[Ryan]

Jan 19, 2015 16:53:03 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

When we first looked for a house we both thought we would like the rural setting with multi acre lots and not too close neighbors.  We ended up in the quintessential suburb.   Quarter acre lots.  Sidewalks.  Streets lined up like good soldiers.   Neighborhood kids.  ETc.    We love it.  I can not imagine being out in the woods, now.  

Out of curiosity, how often do the parents in your neighborhood get together?  In my old area, the parents of young kids used to put the kids to bed, go on the back porch with the baby monitors, and drink with the neighbors.  Most of the stuff I see around here is not as intense, but more organized get-togethers with neighbors a few times a year.  

[Blonde Granny]

When our son was young we lived in a neighborhood of young people that had just started their careers and families. For the most part is was fine....then.

As DHs career continued and we could afford a larger house in a better neighborhood we moved, parents acted more like parents and much less like 20 something partiers. When our son left for college, we bought a townhouse in an area that consisted of executives, a few retired and some of the cusp of retirement (like us.)

Today we are in an over 55 community and we love it. Community pot luck dinners, card nights, community breakfasts, and neighbors willing to help neighbors, especially if sickness or medical emergency happens.

It boils down to your stage in life and what you like. Me? BTDT with trick or treat, don't want to shovel snow or cut the grass. 

[tskeeter]

Jan 19, 2015 15:05:58 GMT -5 Ryan said:

We live in an area that has a lot of old people…probably 85% of the community is 55 and up. When we were first looking for houses, I was initiatally against living where we ended up living because of this reason. Since we live in a land-locked area with a high price per square foot, there was very very little on the market when we were looking. In our old area, if I had a price range of $350-$550K, I’d have hundreds of houses. In our current area, you’d have about 25 houses fall within that range and (when you’re dealing with old houses) you can rule out most of them based on random stuff about the house. In case you’re wondering, living here means we have really really short commutes and the school districts are great.

Which Is why when we found a place that actually worked for us (had enough bedrooms, wasn’t on a busy street, large lot), we just figured we’d deal with some of the other stuff that wasn’t as ideal. Initially, I loved it and didn’t care that we didn’t have many neighbors that were our age. I figured that I was picky about who I spent time with and didn’t want to hangout with a bunch of annoying neighbors (that I couldn’t shake) because they happened to live right by me. Every Halloween though, I start to question this when I see the lack of kids coming to the door to trick or treat. I know in some of the more vibrant neighborhoods around my house, there is just a lot more activity in general….block parties, neighbor get-togethers, kids playing outside, etc.

I will say that growing up in a neighborhood like that as I did, I got kind of annoyed when I was a kid that my next door neighbors were always around. If I had friends from school over, I felt obligated to invite my neighbors over. So the upside of not having a ton of kids just hanging around is that I don’t have to worry about my kids hanging out with a neighbor that is a bad influence just because it’s convenient. My wife is also not a big drinker and I feel like these neighborhoods that are really close are the type of people that like to have people to drink with so they can just walk home.

I don’t know if I could ever justify moving into those types of neighborhoods mostly because the prices/taxes/lack of house is SO ridiculous, but there is a chance we might move if we can’t do an addition that makes our current house into what we want (2-3 years down the line).

So what’s your preference on neighborhoods? Particularly if you have kids?

PS. There are kids within a bike ride of our house, but the area isn’t just crawling with them.

In many respects, the neighborhood that you live in is what you make it.

A few years ago we moved into a neighborhood that was still being built out.  Since almost all of the homes are single story homes that are above the average of the market for this area, the neighborhood has an unsually high number of recent retirees from the HCOL state next door.  As a work in progress, we could make the neighborhood almost anything we wanted.  One couple was the catalyst.  Their initiative started things like a block party, a bunco group, and a poker group.  The HOA got into the act by forming a social committee, to coordinate group activites.  Other couples and individuals led other social activities.  Today in our neighborhood there are three or four poker groups, four or five bunco groups, a book club, a group that plays nertz, a group that plays bridge, groups of ladies that walk together every day, a guy's breakfast group, potluck dinners, multiple block parties, a progressive dinner around the Holidays, one lady hosts an annual Christmas ornament exchange,  another couple often hosts Mother's Day and Father's Day pot luck brunches for neighbors who aren't spending the day with their families, yet another couple has hosted a New Years Day open house for many years, there are outings to baseball games, outings to theater performances and shows, an Easter egg hunt for the little kids, an antique and collector car show and shine, a neighborhood garage sale, and a neighborhood craft fair.  This is in addition to the folks who go out to the shooting range together, or fishing, or fencing (one of the neighbors is a nationally ranked senior fencer), or golfing, and a bunch of other things.  Even our HOA board meetings are well attended.  Most HOA's can hardly get all of their board members to attend a meeting.  Board meetings for our HOA are routinely attended by between 25 and 40 homeowners who participate in setting the direction for our neighborhood.

These things happen in our neighborhood because the residents designed it that way.  A small group of neighbors chatting on the sidewalk got things started.  Neighbors who were members of our HOA Board of Directors developed a strategy for involving residents in running our neighborhood and for creating opportunities for neighbors to meet and get to know each other.  We think this contributes to our neighborhood being one of the most desirable neighborhoods in the area.         

[Ryan]

Jan 19, 2015 19:34:15 GMT -5 tskeeter said:

Jan 19, 2015 15:05:58 GMT -5 Ryan said:

We live in an area that has a lot of old people…probably 85% of the community is 55 and up. When we were first looking for houses, I was initiatally against living where we ended up living because of this reason. Since we live in a land-locked area with a high price per square foot, there was very very little on the market when we were looking. In our old area, if I had a price range of $350-$550K, I’d have hundreds of houses. In our current area, you’d have about 25 houses fall within that range and (when you’re dealing with old houses) you can rule out most of them based on random stuff about the house. In case you’re wondering, living here means we have really really short commutes and the school districts are great.

Which Is why when we found a place that actually worked for us (had enough bedrooms, wasn’t on a busy street, large lot), we just figured we’d deal with some of the other stuff that wasn’t as ideal. Initially, I loved it and didn’t care that we didn’t have many neighbors that were our age. I figured that I was picky about who I spent time with and didn’t want to hangout with a bunch of annoying neighbors (that I couldn’t shake) because they happened to live right by me. Every Halloween though, I start to question this when I see the lack of kids coming to the door to trick or treat. I know in some of the more vibrant neighborhoods around my house, there is just a lot more activity in general….block parties, neighbor get-togethers, kids playing outside, etc.

I will say that growing up in a neighborhood like that as I did, I got kind of annoyed when I was a kid that my next door neighbors were always around. If I had friends from school over, I felt obligated to invite my neighbors over. So the upside of not having a ton of kids just hanging around is that I don’t have to worry about my kids hanging out with a neighbor that is a bad influence just because it’s convenient. My wife is also not a big drinker and I feel like these neighborhoods that are really close are the type of people that like to have people to drink with so they can just walk home.

I don’t know if I could ever justify moving into those types of neighborhoods mostly because the prices/taxes/lack of house is SO ridiculous, but there is a chance we might move if we can’t do an addition that makes our current house into what we want (2-3 years down the line).

So what’s your preference on neighborhoods? Particularly if you have kids?

PS. There are kids within a bike ride of our house, but the area isn’t just crawling with them.

In many respects, the neighborhood that you live in is what you make it.

A few years ago we moved into a neighborhood that was still being built out.  Since almost all of the homes are single story homes that are above the average of the market for this area, the neighborhood has an unsually high number of recent retirees from the HCOL state next door.  As a work in progress, we could make the neighborhood almost anything we wanted.  One couple was the catalyst.  Their initiative started things like a block party, a bunco group, and a poker group.  The HOA got into the act by forming a social committee, to coordinate group activites.  Other couples and individuals led other social activities.  Today in our neighborhood there are three or four poker groups, four or five bunco groups, a book club, a group that plays nertz, a group that plays bridge, groups of ladies that walk together every day, a guy's breakfast group, potluck dinners, multiple block parties, a progressive dinner around the Holidays, one lady hosts an annual Christmas ornament exchange,  another couple often hosts Mother's Day and Father's Day pot luck brunches for neighbors who aren't spending the day with their families, yet another couple has hosted a New Years Day open house for many years, there are outings to baseball games, outings to theater performances and shows, an Easter egg hunt for the little kids, an antique and collector car show and shine, a neighborhood garage sale, and a neighborhood craft fair.  This is in addition to the folks who go out to the shooting range together, or fishing, or fencing (one of the neighbors is a nationally ranked senior fencer), or golfing, and a bunch of other things.  Even our HOA board meetings are well attended.  Most HOA's can hardly get all of their board members to attend a meeting.  Board meetings for our HOA are routinely attended by between 25 and 40 homeowners who participate in setting the direction for our neighborhood.

These things happen in our neighborhood because the residents designed it that way.  A small group of neighbors chatting on the sidewalk got things started.  Neighbors who were members of our HOA Board of Directors developed a strategy for involving residents in running our neighborhood and for creating opportunities for neighbors to meet and get to know each other.  We think this contributes to our neighborhood being one of the most desirable neighborhoods in the area.         

I think newer neighborhoods have a little more of that type of stuff, at least the ones that I lived in.  When I first moved into my old neighborhood, it was like that at the very beginning.  A lot of younger families mixed in with some older ones and people eager to get to know each other.  That's how my parents neighborhood was too when I was growing up.  

I think it would probably just take the entire neighborhood turning over before it actually comes to that around me.  There's not enough people on the block to really form a nucleus.  My neighbor to the one side is early 60's, next door is late 50's, across the street a lady in her 80's, another couple in their 60's, guy next to him in their 60's.  We are friendly, but I think they are all over the "neighbor" thing.  

Like I said, it's not necessarily the worst thing in the world and I wouldn't move over it; I just wish we had some new blood in here!

[Peace Of Mind]

I live in the suburbs and have no kids.  We don't see many kids hanging around as most parents do play dates or plan everything for their kids today but on Halloween we get hundreds of them.

So what’s your preference on neighborhoods?

Can I be single again?  I would like the Singleburbs with about a doz. good female and/or gay male friends and hundreds of hot young single guys living in my neighborhood.  Preferably with long dark hair and tall.  They can be thin, lean, built or even a little chubby if they are gorgeous otherwise. 

Nobody wake me, please.  This is a good dream I'm having. 

[ArchietheDragon]

Jan 19, 2015 17:14:53 GMT -5 Ryan said:

Jan 19, 2015 16:53:03 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

When we first looked for a house we both thought we would like the rural setting with multi acre lots and not too close neighbors.  We ended up in the quintessential suburb.   Quarter acre lots.  Sidewalks.  Streets lined up like good soldiers.   Neighborhood kids.  ETc.    We love it.  I can not imagine being out in the woods, now.  

Out of curiosity, how often do the parents in your neighborhood get together?  In my old area, the parents of young kids used to put the kids to bed, go on the back porch with the baby monitors, and drink with the neighbors.  Most of the stuff I see around here is not as intense, but more organized get-togethers with neighbors a few times a year.  

Somewhat.  We used to much more.  Now that the kids are a little older it is tougher.   Some neighbors do more than others.   

[TheHaitian]

Our choice would be the neighborhood you don't like. We are social butterflies, we like entertain and spend time with friends/neighbors.

We like the "neighborhood" feel, kids playing around while parents watch and talk. Block parties, drinking buddies, etc.

[Ryan]

Jan 20, 2015 8:19:33 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

Our choice would be the neighborhood you don't like. We are social butterflies, we like entertain and spend time with friends/neighbors.

We like the "neighborhood" feel, kids playing around while parents watch and talk. Block parties, drinking buddies, etc.

I don't mind a neighborhood like that, but I prefer people that have some sense of boundaries.  In my old neighborhood and where a lot of my friends live, if you're outside then someone will come out and talk to you.  It's to the point where you can't be outside in front of your house without someone walking up, bringing their kids, and wanting to chat.  

That's been my preference even since I was a kid though.  With my next door neighbors growing up, sometimes I just wanted to go outside and shoot baskets in front of my house without having my neighbors walk out to join me.  They would hear the basketball bouncing and come out...without fail.  

My sons group of friends from his last preschool were great.  They lived closeby, but not right in our area. If anyone of the mom's wanted to get the kids together, she just texted the group to see who was available and then everyone would show up.  It happened that my son loved this group of kids so he always wanted to go, but you're not locked into playing with some knucklehead because he happens to live next door.

[Bonny]

My house was built in 1964. We are only the third owner and we will have owned it for 20 years. People in our subdivision generally don't move unless they're going feet first. We've had one house go up for sale in 13 years.

[zibazinski]

This is how it is where we live now. If your house has a for sale sign in front of it, your price is too high. You talk about listing to a neighbor, the next thing you know they've got a buddy that wants it. We have neighbors that want our house because it's the best lot. It's not the best or biggest house but that lot is key.
We picked a family neighborhood on purpose when my kids were growing up. Kids grew up and moved on. New families with babies and little kids moved in. It'll change gradually.

[Cookies Galore]

Give me a house in the city in walking distance to many bars and restaurants. We currently live in a small town (one square mile, less than 2000 people) in a highly populated area outside of Philly. Plenty of DINK necessities in walking distance.

[toomuchreality]

When I was younger and had kids at home, I liked living in an area with single family homes and other kids around, for mine to play with. Now that my children are grown and out of the house, I'd rather not hear the sound of loud little voices and shrill screaming, all day every day.

I'm all for getting together occasionally for drinks or a party, if I'm up to it. Not much of that goes on around here. But I agree with whoever said, it is what you make it. I could get something going, if I wanted to. But I'd rather just attend a function that someone else put together.

I'm somewhat confused by your posts. On one hand, you sound like you wish your neighbors got together more. On the other hand, it sounds like your previous neighbors, that did get together more, bothered you. In your previous area, was it too much and in your current area, is it not enough?

Keep in mind, the older people probably won't be around a whole lot longer. Either they will die, or will move to smaller homes, or homes that require less maintenance, or they'll go to a nursing home. Younger people are coming.

Tennesseer's right. Time goes by faster and faster, as I get older and older. When I was young, I didn't believe it, and couldn't wait for it to happen. Now, not so much.

Seems like only yesterday... 

[Tennesseer]

Jan 22, 2015 22:24:59 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

When II younger and had kids at home, I liked living in an area with single family homes and other kids around, for mine to play with. Now that my children are grown and out of the house, I'd rather not hear the sound of loud little voices and shrill screaming, all day every day.

I'm all for getting together occasionally for drinks or a party, if I'm up to it. Not much of that goes on around here. But I agree with whoever said, it is what you make it. I could get something going, if I wanted to. But I'd rather just attend a function that someone else put together.

I'm somewhat confused by your posts. On one hand, you sound like you wish your neighbors got together more. On the other hand, it sounds like your previous neighbors, that did get together more, bothered you. In your previous area, was it too much and in your current area, is it not enough?

Keep in mind, the older people probably won't be around a whole lot longer. Either they will die, or will move to smaller homes, or homes that require less maintenance, or they'll go to a nursing home. Younger people are coming.

Tennesseer's right. Time goes by faster and faster, as I get older and older. When I was young, I didn't believe it, and couldn't wait for it to happen. Now, not so much.

Seems like only yesterday... 

Seems like I was forty years old just a year or so ago. In reality, that was 23 years ago.

[toomuchreality]

Jan 22, 2015 22:48:06 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Jan 22, 2015 22:24:59 GMT -5 toomuchreality said:

When II younger and had kids at home, I liked living in an area with single family homes and other kids around, for mine to play with. Now that my children are grown and out of the house, I'd rather not hear the sound of loud little voices and shrill screaming, all day every day.

I'm all for getting together occasionally for drinks or a party, if I'm up to it. Not much of that goes on around here. But I agree with whoever said, it is what you make it. I could get something going, if I wanted to. But I'd rather just attend a function that someone else put together.

I'm somewhat confused by your posts. On one hand, you sound like you wish your neighbors got together more. On the other hand, it sounds like your previous neighbors, that did get together more, bothered you. In your previous area, was it too much and in your current area, is it not enough?

Keep in mind, the older people probably won't be around a whole lot longer. Either they will die, or will move to smaller homes, or homes that require less maintenance, or they'll go to a nursing home. Younger people are coming.

Tennesseer's right. Time goes by faster and faster, as I get older and older. When I was young, I didn't believe it, and couldn't wait for it to happen. Now, not so much.

Seems like only yesterday... 

Seems like I was forty years old just a year or so ago. In reality, that was 23 years ago.

I know. Huh?

I hate it when my mind thinks I'm thirty and my body thinks I'm eighty!

[zibazinski]

I was working on my rental getting it ready to sell. The end of the day I was glad to have my Aunt drive to dinner. I was too pooped to drive. DH said I might look young but my body knows better. Prick. I hate it when he's right.

[thyme4change]

I love our neighborhood because it is basically everything you said you hated.

Kids around - the kids always can find someone to play with and I don't have to drive them.  They have a variety of friends they can walk over to their house.  We do have a next door kid who is annoying.  He is much younger than my kids, but he worships them and always wants to be around.  My son is pretty good about giving him the boot when he is done dealing with him.  It is too bad that his Mom is being so weird, because I can think of 5 kids off the top of my head that are his age, would be more appropriate playmates and live right here (one right on our block!)  We have friends, and can drink and walk.  We have annoying neighbors that we have to spend time with, but they aren't so dense as to be here often.  We have a lot of restaurants that we can walk to, as well as a grocery store and other shops.  We are close to public transportation, and we are both very close to work.

I love living here so much, that even though our house is small and missing a couple of things I really wanted in a house, and even though we could afford to move with a couple of miles and afford a much bigger house with the bell and the whistle I would like to have, we chose to stay.