swamp
Community Leader
Don't be a fool. Call me!
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 16:03:22 GMT -5
Posts: 45,436
|
Post by swamp on May 26, 2011 16:52:39 GMT -5
So he's independently wealthy. Nice work if you can get it. Financial responsibility / stewardship is a church requirement for me. I was sick and tired of people who were "called into the ministry"...right after they lost their job, and declared bankruptcy. And that describes a LOT of ministers. Forgive me if that looks suspiciously like using ministry as a financial fall-back. And darned if they don't run their church the way they ran their finances previously. I'm all for fiscal responsibility. I'm not seeing the point here. Your pastor's job is to show up every Sunday to preach, whether or not he gets paid. If he doesn't show up, your church gets a new pastor. And if he gives his salary back, he needs to have some money to live on from somewhere. Who buys his toothpaste?
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,448
|
Post by Firebird on May 26, 2011 16:53:24 GMT -5
Does this include rape? Just wondering. Paul, I'm going to try asking nicely. Please stop doing this. Please stop. I've explained why this statement is wrong. You don't have to understand what I'm saying or agree with it or anything else, you can call me irrational or tell me I'm an overemotional girl or whatever else, but PLEASE stop equating my very strongly held belief in personal responsibility with what we're discussing on the other thread. Please, just stop. Please.
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,873
|
Post by zibazinski on May 26, 2011 16:57:07 GMT -5
Rape is a very frightening topic for a lot of people. I agree. Let this one drop-NOW.
|
|
midjd
Administrator
Your Money Admin
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 14:09:23 GMT -5
Posts: 17,719
|
Post by midjd on May 26, 2011 19:08:38 GMT -5
Thirded. Back to the point... I also suffer from the affliction plaguing WWBG's DF and WCP's wife (wow, a lot of acronyms). And I have a very, very punctual DH who always allots himself twice as much time as it takes to get somewhere. I thought this would somehow rub off on me eventually, but so far it hasn't. I asked DH what he thought about the "leave your spouse at home" issue. I think he thought it was a trick question, but he said, "We would be late... I wouldn't leave you, but I would bitch and moan about it until after whatever-it-was was over." That seems accurate to me. Though I can tell you, as much as my perpetual "one more minute" irks him, having to arrive everywhere 15 minutes early irks ME. ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png)
|
|
Colleenz
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 8:56:39 GMT -5
Posts: 3,983
|
Post by Colleenz on May 27, 2011 7:46:34 GMT -5
Did not realize she had another car - why on earth would she be mad then? She would not have arrived any later driving herself than if you had waited for her.
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,873
|
Post by zibazinski on May 27, 2011 8:03:21 GMT -5
The point is to make someone wait on you. If they leave, you haven't made your point. They have made theirs.
|
|
AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 11:59:07 GMT -5
Posts: 31,709
Favorite Drink: Sweetwater 420
|
Post by AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP on May 27, 2011 16:54:21 GMT -5
Does this include rape? Just wondering. Paul, I'm going to try asking nicely. Please stop doing this. Please stop. I've explained why this statement is wrong. You don't have to understand what I'm saying or agree with it or anything else, you can call me irrational or tell me I'm an overemotional girl or whatever else, but PLEASE stop equating my very strongly held belief in personal responsibility with what we're discussing on the other thread. Please, just stop. Please. Hey- not trying to deliberately upset you, if I did, I'm sorry. I will say that it IS odd to me that your statement, which I agree with completely, btw, seems to have limited application. You either believe in personal responsibility, or you don't. When I say I don't "blame the victim" what I mean is this: Nothing about the victim should EVER be used by the defense in a rape case as an exculpatory, or mitigating factor-- as in "If she didn't want it, why would she dress like that?" However, like the guy flashing cash in a high crime neighborhood-- just because he doesn't 'deserve' it, doesn't mean he shouldn't have seen it coming. That is all.
|
|
AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 11:59:07 GMT -5
Posts: 31,709
Favorite Drink: Sweetwater 420
|
Post by AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP on May 27, 2011 17:00:17 GMT -5
The point is to make someone wait on you. If they leave, you haven't made your point. They have made theirs. Precisely. To me, late people are just wrong. There's no defending it. It's not a difference of opinion where there is a way of seeing it the late person's way. There's no compromise, there's no explaining it away-- it's just wrong to be late. I have a "do it" or "do not do it" way of determining my participation in events. I don't have a dimmer switch with a "do it, but be late" setting. If we're gonna be late, I'd rather not go. The exception is on Sunday. On Sunday I will make my annual pilgramage to the Indianapolis 500. I have no tickets. Instead, in Indiana where 'scalping' is legal with a peddler's license, I will encounter people trying to sell tickets. I will stand and stare at them until the race starts. Then I will look at them, shrug my shoulders and start to walk off. At that point, the 'scalper' who will be panic-stricken assuming they're going to have to eat the tickets, will sell me them at a deep discount. I have had front row behind the pits, 3rd row in turn one, starting line-- and the most I've paid for tickets is $35 each.
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,448
|
Post by Firebird on May 27, 2011 17:08:40 GMT -5
Hey- not trying to deliberately upset you, if I did, I'm sorry.
If you did? IF?! You doubt that at this point? Dude, it isn't just me. Approximately fifteen women have emailed me since yesterday telling me how much your misogyny is hurting them. They don't feel safe enough to speak up and say so for themselves. I wonder why.
I'm telling you that you're causing harm and you're not listening to me. You don't care. You just want to go on spouting your misogynistic trash language without any interference. Sorry, but I am NOT going to stand for that. And I could care less what you think of me for it.
I will say that it IS odd to me that your statement, which I agree with completely, btw, seems to have limited application. You either believe in personal responsibility, or you don't.
Saying that proves, ONCE AGAIN, that you cannot understand a fairly obvious distinction which I have explained over and over again. I'm happy to explain it for the 800th time if you think that will be the point where it magically clicks for you.
|
|
moon/Laura
Administrator
Forum Owner
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 15:05:36 GMT -5
Posts: 10,062
Mini-Profile Text Color: f8fb10
|
Post by moon/Laura on May 27, 2011 18:00:33 GMT -5
Paul- your "joke" about someone deserving rape was WAY out of line and has been deleted. .. i am getting really sick of your holier than thou posts. Chill with it or you are going to find yourself on vacation.
~moon mod
|
|
Miss Tequila
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 10:13:45 GMT -5
Posts: 20,602
|
Post by Miss Tequila on May 27, 2011 20:44:10 GMT -5
Do Paul and his wife only own one car? If my husband left me at home, I would just take the other car and do whatever I want. Now, if he left me at home AND took my keys, well then, I would probably go back to bed, or watch TV. But, yeah, I would probably think he was a total dick. If my husband left me AND took the kids, I would have been in my glory! I would have went for a mani/pedi and brunch ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png)
|
|
Opti
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 10:45:38 GMT -5
Posts: 40,106
Location: New Jersey
Mini-Profile Name Color: c28523
Mini-Profile Text Color: 990033
Member is Online
|
Post by Opti on May 27, 2011 21:15:44 GMT -5
"Early is early, on time is on time, and late is late." ![](http://us.social.s-msn.com/s/images/emoticons/thumbs_up.gif) I think timing sometimes is an art, so I am not of the always early camp. Now when it comes to work especially when you have people going on or off shift I do think being early or at least on time is important. For social gatherings and fun stuff sometimes being early or on time would have been the wrong choice for me. I know a couple people who to me tend to run late but have an unerring ability to show up at the right time for social and fun events. Gave up and went with the flow with one boyfriend because he must have had a sixth sense when films were going to start late, etc. Lastly I have heard from some interviewers that people being too early irk them so its wise to hide in the car or bathroom if needed and not hit the office an earlier than 10 minutes before the appointment.
|
|
brdsl
Familiar Member
Joined: Dec 28, 2010 11:56:10 GMT -5
Posts: 863
|
Post by brdsl on May 27, 2011 23:12:42 GMT -5
Paul- your "joke" about someone deserving rape was WAY out of line and has been deleted. .. i am getting really sick of your holier than thou posts. Chill with it or you are going to find yourself on vacation. ~moon mod Rape line.. I agree with....holier than though and getting a vacation.....that is bull.
|
|
moon/Laura
Administrator
Forum Owner
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 15:05:36 GMT -5
Posts: 10,062
Mini-Profile Text Color: f8fb10
|
Post by moon/Laura on May 27, 2011 23:28:19 GMT -5
brdsl, do you ever venture outside of this board? no? then you don't know what i mean. that's ok.
|
|
brdsl
Familiar Member
Joined: Dec 28, 2010 11:56:10 GMT -5
Posts: 863
|
Post by brdsl on May 27, 2011 23:36:32 GMT -5
brdsl, do you ever venture outside of this board? no? then you don't know what i mean. that's ok. Yet, you post this threat on the busiest topic on this board. I would think a simple private message would suffice. That's ok...
|
|
AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 11:59:07 GMT -5
Posts: 31,709
Favorite Drink: Sweetwater 420
|
Post by AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP on May 28, 2011 0:12:03 GMT -5
Whoa, looks like another thread almost got hijacked and blown up. I agree with the staying OFF the topic of rape btw, I think FB's views on the subject are quite clear, sort of. Maybe. But anyway-- I thought it was relevant to point out what I pointed out. I did NOT think it would ruffle feathers. Quite the contrary. I thought after perhaps re-reading what was posted about personal responsibility and taking some time to reflect on it, perhaps I might finally have made my point. Didn't happen. No skin off my nose- I felt it was worth one last shot. I think we've beat that dead horse plenty and it's time to leave it lie.
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,448
|
Post by Firebird on May 28, 2011 0:36:05 GMT -5
Paul, one of us needs to re-read what we wrote about personal responsibility but it sure isn't me. My opinion has not changed. Never will change. Is entirely consistent with itself.
I hijacked nothing. You did. At least on this thread.
You don't like being corrected, that's clear. But honestly, at this point I don't care about changing your mind. I care about getting you to STOP with your harmful speech. If all I've accomplished is making you think twice before posting victim blaming rape apology next time, I'll consider that a victory.
I don't really care WHY you stop posting rape apology - if you stop because you think you might get banned, if you stop because you don't want to deal with me, if you stop because you were mildly convinced by my arguments, if you stop because you might hurt someone's feelings - I honestly don't give a shit, as long as you STOP.
|
|
❤ mollymouser ❤
Senior Associate
Sarcasm is my Superpower
Crazy Cat Lady
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 16:09:58 GMT -5
Posts: 12,858
Today's Mood: Gen X ... so I'm sarcastic and annoyed
Location: Central California
Favorite Drink: Diet Mountain Dew
|
Post by ❤ mollymouser ❤ on May 28, 2011 0:41:09 GMT -5
This message has been deleted. I was going to comment about getting back on topic, but at this point, the horse is out of the barn and is running down the road ....
|
|
AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 11:59:07 GMT -5
Posts: 31,709
Favorite Drink: Sweetwater 420
|
Post by AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP on May 28, 2011 1:22:15 GMT -5
Paul, one of us needs to re-read what we wrote about personal responsibility but it sure isn't me. My opinion has not changed. Never will change. Is entirely consistent with itself. I hijacked nothing. You did. At least on this thread. You don't like being corrected, that's clear. But honestly, at this point I don't care about changing your mind. I care about getting you to STOP with your harmful speech. If all I've accomplished is making you think twice before posting victim blaming rape apology next time, I'll consider that a victory. I don't really care WHY you stop posting rape apology - if you stop because you think you might get banned, if you stop because you don't want to deal with me, if you stop because you were mildly convinced by my arguments, if you stop because you might hurt someone's feelings - I honestly don't give a shit, as long as you STOP. Let's be real for just a second here: I like to stick to the issue, but this whole back and forth on this AND the other thread you hijacked really began when you personally attacked me. You deliberately misinterpreted something I said, you insulted me as a father, and as a human being in general, you made judgments about my faith and even attacked me as a Christian. So, you can dismount the high horse any old time now. We simply disagree. I don't know if you're just plain wrong, if I am misunderstanding you, or if you're misunderstanding me. The answer probably lies in the morass in the middle of this-- but make no mistake about it-- what you blasted me with on the other thread was pretty vile, and disgusting-- and I've avoided getting into it directly and making it about personalities, but you just don't seem to know when to quit. How about YOU STOP?
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,448
|
Post by Firebird on May 28, 2011 1:43:06 GMT -5
I never attacked you. All I said was that I lost respect for you as a Christian because of something you said (which was rather appropriate since you were posting Bible verses). What, you can't handle the natural consequences of your actions? Everyone else should take responsibility for what they say and do, but not you? That's not hypocritical at all.
You lost my respect, that's all. Frankly, I don't respect many people to begin with. And you could even gain back my respect if you wanted to, although at this point it would take some pretty significant work on your part. That is not a personal attack.
You are not acting the way I think a good steward of the religion I love should act. I wanted you to know that, but I never intended to turn this into another battle. That part happened because you continued to engage in rape apologizing speech, and I won't stand for that. Not from you or anyone else. Not for any reason, under any circumstances.
If you had simply stopped saying what you were, I'd have had no reason to continue the discussion. But you didn't. You compounded it, you made it far worse. You should not have expected me to be silent in the face of such continued talk, since it was that talk to which I objected in the first place.
|
|
AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 11:59:07 GMT -5
Posts: 31,709
Favorite Drink: Sweetwater 420
|
Post by AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP on May 28, 2011 2:19:32 GMT -5
I simply said no name calling, no personal attacks. If you can't manage that, perhaps it's YOU the mods need to deal with and not me? Just a thought.
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,448
|
Post by Firebird on May 28, 2011 2:28:08 GMT -5
I never called you any names that I can recall. I could be wrong about that, but I think I have simply described your behavior all this time, i.e. you are engaging in rape apology, not YOU ARE a rape apologist. Not the same thing at all.
At the very least, I didn't call you any names in the most recent thread about this (I just checked). Nor do I intend to do so.
I can definitely take issue with someone's behavior without judging them as a person.
|
|
AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 11:59:07 GMT -5
Posts: 31,709
Favorite Drink: Sweetwater 420
|
Post by AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP on May 28, 2011 2:42:55 GMT -5
Well, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you didn't intend to name call or personally attack me, but that's how it came across. I was called a misogynist for sure, a bad father, an apologist for rapist, a lousy Christian-- and this has gone on and on in this and other threads. It stops now.
You simply MUST learn to distinguish your personal opinion from gospel truth. You're not automatically correct because of how strongly you feel about something. Shocking as it may be in this culture and in our day and age-- your personal experience doesn't automatically validate your opinions.
That you think and feel a certain way, doesn't make it so. I have my opinions, too. I'm entitled to mine as you are to yours. And as I said in my PM to you-- it's time we called a truce and moved on. We need to agree to disagree. But if not, I'm not required to "shut up" and stop expressing my opinion because it offends you, or anyone else. Believe it or not, I can think what I want, and within the bounds of the rules here-- I can, and will, express it.
|
|
Firebird
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 12:55:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,448
|
Post by Firebird on May 28, 2011 2:54:07 GMT -5
So will I.
And Paul, this is honestly not meant as an attack but it's a little bit funny to me that you're telling me that my "opinions" are not gospel truth when you clearly think your own are.
I can't agree to disagree with you on this. Most things, yes, but not this. It's too important. I will, however, drop the subject for now, provided that you drop it as well. I reserve the right to pick it right back up again for as long as the mods allow me should you start with the victim blaming language again.
For the record, I strongly prefer we simply drop the subject. I don't want to debate you about this anymore. I don't want to talk about it with you anymore.
If that's what you call a truce, then sure.
|
|
AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 11:59:07 GMT -5
Posts: 31,709
Favorite Drink: Sweetwater 420
|
Post by AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP on May 28, 2011 10:27:19 GMT -5
Agreed.
|
|
8 Bit WWBG
Administrator
Your Money admin
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 8:57:29 GMT -5
Posts: 9,322
Today's Mood: Mega
|
Post by 8 Bit WWBG on May 28, 2011 15:47:52 GMT -5
...:::"but he said, "We would be late... I wouldn't leave you, but I would bitch and moan about it until after whatever-it-was was over.":::...
This is what I do a lot. I figure its only fair after I'm made to feel like my wishes weren't important. Its actually a lot like was said earlier: I'm going to be mad, I might as well rain on her too. I know its childish and immature, but I don't always see other choices, as I really don't want to leave her behind. Especially if we are going on a trip or to an activity.
...:::"You simply MUST learn to distinguish your personal opinion from gospel truth. You're not automatically correct because of how strongly you feel about something. Shocking as it may be in this culture and in our day and age-- your personal experience doesn't automatically validate your opinions.":::...
I'd say everyone should print out the above and keep it handy.
Back to the topic:
I tried a new strategy today. DF had two deadlines that affected her but not me. She was late for both of them because she was tinkering with this and that. She wasn't very late, and there weren't significant consequences, but I know she's a bit ticked off at herself.
The reason this is significant to me is because earlier I overheard a parent chastising her child. The kid had done something dangerous to himself and his brother, and the Mom was hitting all the usual points warranted in that sort of situation. The kid lacked the comprehension to fully understand the magnitude of what "could" have happened.
I turned to DF after leaving their earshot and said "I hate sounding like that".
But its hard not to feel that tone coming on when you are late AGAIN, and for the same old reasons. I think "giving up" (which specifically means: giving up on expecting the other person to follow through and just taking care of yourself) can be the best medicine.
|
|