AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP
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Post by AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP on May 23, 2011 13:49:38 GMT -5
I used to be late to everything. Oh, sure- there was a period of time that I was on time because I was in the military- but after that brief experience from 1989 - 1993, I developed a habit of being late to just about everything. People used to tell me 9:30 when the meeting was at 10:00 because they just knew I'd never make it on time.
I quit-- fairly abruptly-- being late when I finally got the message that time was worth something and that wasting it-- other people's time in particular-- is the same thing as wasting money, or stealing from other people.
Being consistently late demonstrates to people- especially employers, potential employers, clients, and prospects-- that you can't be trusted. Then, whether consciously, or subconsciously, people begin to not trust you with other things. At least this is my impression, and my opinion.
I have noticed not only is life just generally lower stress, and more pleasant-- but more opportunities open up to me now.
There are a lot of strategies for being on time- I have found my main way is to develop a good sense of time. Just know how long things take, and develop a keen sense of how much time has passed, find ways to frequently check the time, etc.
The second biggest on-time strategy kind of hinges on the first- and it's learning not to over-commit. Simply saying no, or if you didn't say no to start with-- canceling as quickly as possible after you realize you're not going to make it, or you're going to be late, is a must.
Here's what being on time means to me:
Being on time shows good character. Life happens to all of us, but I've found that when I'm late it is usually a result of thoughtlessness, or not valuing the meeting as highly as the other person. This is a character failing on my part-- it means I don't value the other person's time as much as my own, and that is the height of arrogance. It's rude. And that's why I strive to no longer be that way.
Being on time means you value other people- you value their time, and they can trust you.
My opinion is that consistent late can be a joke like, "Oh, he's on PBP time", but that in the end it really amounts to being passed over for promotions, and missing opportunities because people just don't like and/or trust you.
Thoughts?
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swamp
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Post by swamp on May 23, 2011 13:52:37 GMT -5
If I'm continually late for court, I'll be monetarily sanctioned. If I'm late for client appointments, they wont' hire me again. If I'm late for bank closings, the bank won't use my lawfirm. Not that I'm a paragon of punctuality, but it does count.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 23, 2011 13:54:49 GMT -5
for work-related stuff, I care about being on time. For family events - unless it's something like a wedding or a funeral, not so much.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 23, 2011 14:01:40 GMT -5
I knew that being on time was important in grade school......when coming late to school meant that my teacher would further embarass me, by saying something like, "Well, m--, I'm glad you could join us....perhaps you can add to the discussion we were having of the plantetary system and it's relativity to time...."
I got it that second, and was cured...
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brdsl
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Post by brdsl on May 23, 2011 14:01:42 GMT -5
Agreed with all of the above.
I hate those who are consistently late. It shows you care zero about me, or my time.
If I am to meet someone at 5:00 PM. I am there at 5PM, if they do not call, and let me know they will be late, I am gone at 5:01PM. I will not waste my time. I have had them see me as I am driving away from the meeting place, and then call me. I tell them they were late, and can reschedule tomorrow.
I have done this to my boss. The first time he was irate, the second time....he called and said he was running a little late.
Everyone has a cell phone in today's society....it has a clock on it, and can be used to call me and let me know you will be late....no excuses.
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Post by Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ on May 23, 2011 14:07:29 GMT -5
Now, perhaps someone can explain why women feel they need to be late for dates?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 23, 2011 14:09:01 GMT -5
I think it's incredibly RUDE to keep anyone waiting, period. Besides, when I'm EARLY (oh, what a concept), I can psyche myself up, rehearse, etc. for whatever I'm about to engage in. I give myself big time advantage, time and time again...
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qofcc
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Post by qofcc on May 23, 2011 14:09:16 GMT -5
I think it's important to be on time if being late inconveniences others. I don't see promptness as a virtue in and of itself. When I worked a job where I was the one unlocking the door and turning on the switchboard, I was on time to work. Now, not so much, but that doesn't seem to be valued by my employer and it doesn't affect other people so I don't worry about it and I don't run out the door at 5pm. If they made an issue of it, I'd make it a priority. I'm always on time for meetings at work, doctor appointments, etc.
For social events, I try to time it to be close to on time, but not among the first there. If I'm meeting someone in a restaurant, I make sure they're there before I go inside even if it means waiting in my car - I just can't do the alone in a restaurant thing. It drives DH nuts because if someone invites us over at 7PM, he wants to arrive at 6:30 and I drag my feet so we get there at 7:10.
Growing up, my dad was late for everything... drove us to school late, so sometimes I'd walk in the snow just to avoid getting in trouble. Left me sitting on the by myself steps waiting for a ride home after school events. Procrastinated about filling out papers I needed, etc. So I try to walk the line and be sensitive not to inconvenience others while also not being early and wasting my time or feeling uncomfortable about sticking out.
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Post by Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ on May 23, 2011 14:13:13 GMT -5
For social events, I try to time it to be close to on time, but not among the first there. If I'm meeting someone in a restaurant, I make sure they're there before I go inside even if it means waiting in my car - I just can't do the alone in a restaurant thing. It drives DH nuts because if someone invites us over at 7PM, he wants to arrive at 6:30 and I drag my feet so we get there at 7:10. Talk about someone being neurotic. ![](http://i239.photobucket.com/albums/ff155/JiminiChristmas/smileys/75_75.gif)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 23, 2011 14:20:03 GMT -5
Agreed with all of the above. If I am to meet someone at 5:00 PM. I am there at 5PM, if they do not call, and let me know they will be late, I am gone at 5:01PM. One minute late and you cancel? Don't you think that's just a tad unnecessary? Despite what you may think, cell phones do not have 100% penetration in this country. And even so, not everyone's phone is synchronized to the same time. One person's clock might say 4:56, while another person's clock says 5:01. I'm glad I've never encountered anyone like you.
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kiskis
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Post by kiskis on May 23, 2011 14:20:34 GMT -5
Now, perhaps someone can explain why women feel they need to be late for dates? We like the suspense to build. Not a fan of delayed gratification? (LoL, actually, I think most just agonize over outfits, hair, and makeup, and we just keep primping until we're out of time.)
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swamp
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Post by swamp on May 23, 2011 14:21:28 GMT -5
Now, perhaps someone can explain why women feel they need to be late for dates? We don't. Only the whackadoodles you date have that need.
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qofcc
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Post by qofcc on May 23, 2011 14:22:08 GMT -5
Talk about someone being neurotic.
Me for not wanting to be the first to arrive or him for thinking it's ok to show up at someone's house a half hour before we were invited?
And you asked why girls think it's ok to be late for a date... that's why. Keeping a guy waiting more than a couple of minutes is rude, but if a guy is meeting a girl somewhere he should be there to ask the hostess for a table and order the drink, etc.
I can't do the restaurant alone thing. Fast food, maybe if I bring a book, but for business travel, I get take out or order room service.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 23, 2011 14:23:07 GMT -5
What's this "date" you speak of? ![:P](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/tongue.png)
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Post by Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ on May 23, 2011 14:24:05 GMT -5
We don't. Only the whackadoodles you date have that need. The entire female population are wackadoos? ![???](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/huh.png) As a side note, most if not all women I have dated are better looking then you, in much better shape and also much more highly educated. They also have personalities.
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Post by Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ on May 23, 2011 14:24:57 GMT -5
We like the suspense to build. Not a fan of delayed gratification?Typically they are anxious to meet me. ![](http://us.social.s-msn.com/s/images/emoticons/angel_smile.gif)
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swamp
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Post by swamp on May 23, 2011 14:25:35 GMT -5
We don't. Only the whackadoodles you date have that need. The entire female population are wackadoos? ![???](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/huh.png) As a side note, most if not all women I have dated are better looking then you, in much better shape and also much more highly educated. They also have personalities. That was mean and uncalled for.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 23, 2011 14:25:52 GMT -5
For work related things where I need to be there at a certain time I always try to arrive with plenty of time to spare because it's usually in some building I am not familiar with and in a room down a hall, thru a door, past a wall to the left (it's like freaking Hogwarts here!).
For social events I try to arrive on time or no more than a few minutes late. DH likes to try to arrive right on the dot (like if we need to be somewhere at 7:00, he tries to time it so we enter the door at 7:00), doesn't always work and we end up being late.
Drives me nuts.
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Post by Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ on May 23, 2011 14:25:58 GMT -5
What's this "date" you speak of? ![:o](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/shocked.png)
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Post by Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ on May 23, 2011 14:26:53 GMT -5
That was mean and uncalled for.
Not as arrogant and condescending as yours.
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RoadToRiches
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Post by RoadToRiches on May 23, 2011 14:27:12 GMT -5
I ABSOLUTELY HATE late people. My friend does it all the time. Always late. I am not talking 5-10 minutes, I am talking sometimes 30 minutes! And there is always something....
Get your sh*t ready early and don't be late! There is NO EXCUSE. Leave early, so you are not late.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on May 23, 2011 14:28:01 GMT -5
I am rarely late for work functions, for the reasons outlined above. No one here gets punished for being late, but it is noted by the higher-ups, and I'm sure eventually factors into promotions/raises. Family things... well, this was an adjustment when DH and I got married. If my family says "come on over around 6", that means that you should arrive sometime before 6:30. If DH's family says "come on over around 6", you will get an earful if you arrive at 6:01. I've told DH that he needs to instruct his mom (who is an otherwise wonderful woman) the difference between "around" and "at". If someone tells me to be somewhere AT a certain time, I will - but that is not what AROUND means! ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png)
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on May 23, 2011 14:28:26 GMT -5
I agree, punctuality is important, and it is frustrating when people waste your time. A meeting originally scheduled for an hour might only be composed of 40 minutes of actual work time when you factor in the latecomers and the smalltalk.
On that note, and somewhat related... how do you view the smalltalk? On the one hand, it feels like a waste of time. I hate spending the first 10 minutes of a meeting listening to sports talk that I don't care about. But on the other hand, it is an investment in making other people feel comfortable, welcome, and relaxed, which as a result makes them more engaged in the meeting.
Of course, stuff does happen, so how long do you leave? I'm certainly not going to allow 2 hours to make a 30 minute trip. But in the spirit of knowing how long something takes, I cannot expect to depart 10 minutes prior to start, and expect to arrive at a destination 20 minutes away on time.
...:::"I have done this to my boss. The first time he was irate, the second time....he called and said he was running a little late.":::...
You are lucky he had the personality to be able to deal with this. I could see somebody making you wait until 5:10 the next time, and writing you up for failing to show.
It also depends whether you are more or less valuable to the event than the other people. I know someone who worked with major concerts and said that some of these stars go on when they feel like it. One in particular didn't go on until 2 hours after the start time. But so long as people continue to buy their tickets and albums, they will get away with it.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 23, 2011 14:29:28 GMT -5
We don't. Only the whackadoodles you date have that need. The entire female population are wackadoos? ![???](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/huh.png) As a side note, most if not all women I have dated are better looking then you, in much better shape and also much more highly educated. They also have personalities. um... wow.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on May 23, 2011 14:29:35 GMT -5
That was mean and uncalled for. Not as arrogant and condescending as yours. You often post about women in the terms of their flakiness, that all women overspend on crap for the house, spend hours gabbing at the hair salon, and don't understand fiance. We aren't all flaky. I'm not sure why that's arrogant and condescendiing. And please tell me how all the women you date have more than a doctorate degree............
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RoadToRiches
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Post by RoadToRiches on May 23, 2011 14:31:37 GMT -5
That was mean and uncalled for. Not as arrogant and condescending as yours. ....but my dad can beat up your dad!
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on May 23, 2011 14:31:44 GMT -5
Ok, what a direction this one took as I was writing my post.
Lets keep it on the level folks.
- WeWillBackGowron. Your Money Administrator
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swamp
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Post by swamp on May 23, 2011 14:32:40 GMT -5
That was mean and uncalled for. Not as arrogant and condescending as yours. ....but my dad can beat up your dad! Pfft, I can beat up your dad. ![](http://boards.msn.com/Themes/default/emoticons/tongue_smile.gif)
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midjd
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Post by midjd on May 23, 2011 14:33:50 GMT -5
WWBG has a good point... I always heard that if you need the other person to be there, arrive 5 minutes early... if the other person needs you to be there, arrive 5 minutes late.
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kiskis
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Post by kiskis on May 23, 2011 14:34:13 GMT -5
::Backs out of thread slowly::
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