achelois
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Post by achelois on May 25, 2011 9:40:41 GMT -5
My ex made $45,000/year when we divorced eight years ago. I still had to pay spousal support for two years. Granted, it was only a token amount of $200/month,but it irked me.
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on May 25, 2011 9:48:16 GMT -5
My ex made $45,000/year when we divorced eight years ago. I still had to pay spousal support for two years. Granted, it was only a token amount of $200/month,but it irked me. WOW... how did that happen? Huge salary discrepancy? i would think $45k would be enough that the ex wouldn't get any... (FWIW, no one i know IRL who's gotten a divorve has had to pay spousal support)
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achelois
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Post by achelois on May 25, 2011 10:06:34 GMT -5
Huge salary discrepancy is right. ![>:(](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/angry.png)
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 25, 2011 10:12:22 GMT -5
Joint custody with physical custody to the OP. TRY for that because she will take them to wherever her lover is and that is not going to bode well for you or your children.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on May 25, 2011 10:22:41 GMT -5
Joint custody with physical custody to the OP. TRY for that because she will take them to wherever her lover is and that is not going to bode well for you or your children. If she's dumping the kids in dcp/camps, would she really want custody anyway? 'cause if she's going to be doing that, then what's the point? I know the op said she's a good mother, if disinterested. I have a hard time comprehending that because I feel so freaking guilty when I take the kids to dcp when I'm off... but that's me. And for the record, I'm going to try to not be a helicopter parent. I just feel that my kids don't see me or DH enough due to work and bedtime schedules...
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 25, 2011 10:24:45 GMT -5
She's going to want the child support plus she is worried that it will look bad on her if she doesn't have custody. She may actually love her children, just can't stand the OP. But regardless of her feelings about him, those kids need to stay close to their primary caregiver and that is him not her.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on May 25, 2011 11:11:32 GMT -5
...:::"cause if she's going to be doing that, then what's the point?":::...
Spite, malice, revenge? She may have little to no desire to have custody other than the fact that it would hurt the OP.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 25, 2011 11:15:30 GMT -5
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The J
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Post by The J on May 25, 2011 11:32:36 GMT -5
...:::"cause if she's going to be doing that, then what's the point?":::... Spite, malice, revenge? She may have little to no desire to have custody other than the fact that it would hurt the OP. Leverage. When one party wants custody and the other doesn't care, the non-caring party may often use custody (or at least a custody battle) as leverage to gain the upper hand in other divorce related negotiations.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 25, 2011 11:35:01 GMT -5
NO KIDDING!!! My EX tried that with me and I told him "Fantastic, Ill pay a few hundred a month and see the kids whenever it's convenient for me." He quickly folded.
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cme1201
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Post by cme1201 on May 25, 2011 12:09:54 GMT -5
NO KIDDING!!! My EX tried that with me and I told him "Fantastic, Ill pay a few hundred a month and see the kids whenever it's convenient for me." He quickly folded. And my responce would be "What else is new"
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 25, 2011 12:13:23 GMT -5
But you DON'T know that she will fold so don't play that card. I KNEW he would fold so it was an easy card to play.
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Plain Old Petunia
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Post by Plain Old Petunia on May 25, 2011 12:36:07 GMT -5
<< And I don't see why he shouldn't go for sole custody if that's what he wants. He may get it, he may not. But why not shoot for the moon? Document everything and present it calmly in court and see what happens >>
Strongly disagree. Custody is not about who wants what, it is about what is best for the children.
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Plain Old Petunia
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Post by Plain Old Petunia on May 25, 2011 12:49:12 GMT -5
<< No I did not. I have tried for 3 years, I am tired of trying tired of doing tired of the same ole same ole. >>
I completely understand your frustration, I have been there myself. It takes two people to make a marriage work. If one is not interested, there is absolutely nothing the other person can do. I know it is hard to imagine now, but life will be MUCH better for you once this is behind you.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on May 25, 2011 12:51:33 GMT -5
...:::"cause if she's going to be doing that, then what's the point?":::... Spite, malice, revenge? She may have little to no desire to have custody other than the fact that it would hurt the OP. Leverage. When one party wants custody and the other doesn't care, the non-caring party may often use custody (or at least a custody battle) as leverage to gain the upper hand in other divorce related negotiations. And they're sick people for doing that. One of the many reasons I refuse to do divorces.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on May 25, 2011 12:54:10 GMT -5
Stealing this quote from somewhere, but... "You need to love your children more than you hate your spouse."
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 25, 2011 12:58:42 GMT -5
He does and he is the primary caregiver. I see him having custody as stability for the children. Her getting them opens them up to a move and possible neglect.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on May 25, 2011 13:02:24 GMT -5
Stealing this quote from somewhere, but... "You need to love your children more than you hate your spouse."
Such a good quote. Whatever you do, CME, don't backbite your spouse to your children. You can vent to anyone else - even us if you have to - but do not let your children hear you speak an ill word about her, EVER. Trust me, they will respect you far more in the long run.
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happyscooter
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Post by happyscooter on May 25, 2011 16:50:37 GMT -5
Doesn't anybody remember the Jim Carrey movie Liar, Liar'? The wife he was defending only wanted the kids because she could get money each month. I think she had a nanny. Then when he won the case, she wanted even more money and jerked the kids away from their dad.
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