cme1201
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Post by cme1201 on May 23, 2011 8:18:37 GMT -5
I got up early for no update! Guess wifey has already embarked on her 100 mile trip. Gotta maximize away time. CME, can you recommend a good walking shoe? I've been wanting to try those really thin ones that look like feet and that are supposed to not inhibit the natural movement of a foot. Actually, I took the kids out of town to the zoo (unintended, went for the weekend with my family). As far as the talk goes all I can say is I will be finding a good attorney, soon.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 23, 2011 8:24:08 GMT -5
That sucks CME. ![:(](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/sad.png)
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midjd
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Post by midjd on May 23, 2011 8:26:28 GMT -5
Oh CME, I'm sorry If you ever need a sounding board or someplace to vent, we're here for you! And speaking as a non-divorce attorney, a good attorney is worth every penny and more ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png) As a poster on here always says, it's best to "fail fast" - at least you know now, before you've invested another 5 or 10 years into a relationship that may have already been doomed. I am sorry, though... divorce sucks, no way around it.
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cme1201
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Post by cme1201 on May 23, 2011 8:33:52 GMT -5
Thanks guys, for listening and advice.
I may post more later just back at work so doing the earner thing.
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happyscooter
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Post by happyscooter on May 23, 2011 8:35:38 GMT -5
Good luck and we are here for you. (or is it 'hear')? ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png)
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cme1201
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Post by cme1201 on May 23, 2011 8:39:14 GMT -5
Mentioned on another board here that I haven't had a CC since '06. Guess Now might be the time to apply for one.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on May 23, 2011 8:41:21 GMT -5
...:::"As far as the talk goes all I can say is, I will be finding a good attorney, soon.":::...
Was I right that the talk pretty much went:
You: We need to decrease our spending and I really need you to handle more of the bills with your earnings, and here are rational logical reasons why you should do that. Her: Don't wanna, not gonna. *Repeat until one of you walks away.
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cme1201
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Post by cme1201 on May 23, 2011 8:44:43 GMT -5
...:::"As far as the talk goes all I can say is, I will be finding a good attorney, soon.":::... Was I right that the talk pretty much went: You: We need to decrease our spending and I really need you to handle more of the bills with your earnings, and here are rational logical reasons why you should do that. Her: Don't wanna, not gonna. *Repeat until one of you walks away. More along the lines of her: I don't know. me: Are we still in this together her: what do you mean me: marriage, partnership her: I just don't know.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on May 23, 2011 9:05:00 GMT -5
I'm sorry cme.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 23, 2011 9:54:22 GMT -5
How hurtful but it wasn't unexpected. I'm sorry for your pain and it is painful but you can't "make" a person want you. Try to not let your kids go to wherever she is moving on to. 100 miles away is hard to maintain a relationship. Especially since you have been the primary caregiver.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 23, 2011 10:02:09 GMT -5
It sounds like your team may have fallen apart cme. I'm sorry to hear that. Me personally, I'd rather know where I stand and deal with it than remain in limbo. Even if it's painful to learn what's what. I wish you the best.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on May 23, 2011 10:41:12 GMT -5
![:(](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/sad.png) I'm really sorry CME.
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oreo
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Post by oreo on May 23, 2011 12:37:35 GMT -5
I'm so sorry to hear this. I had hoped that people here were being overly critical of your wife and that she wasn't really as bad as they made her out to be.
I hope despite this you were able to enjoy your weekend with your kids.
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moneymaven
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Post by moneymaven on May 23, 2011 12:39:24 GMT -5
Cme - I am sorry to hear that. Best wishes to you and your children.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on May 23, 2011 12:41:10 GMT -5
So sorry CME. We're still rooting for you. Please let us know how you're doing. We care. ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png)
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cme1201
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Tennis Elbow, Jock Itch, and Athletes Foot, every man has a sports life!
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Post by cme1201 on May 23, 2011 12:58:05 GMT -5
I'm so sorry to hear this. I had hoped that people here were being overly critical of your wife and that she wasn't really as bad as they made her out to be. I hope despite this you were able to enjoy your weekend with your kids.Again Thank you all. Until I opened this thread I didn't even think about it at all this weekend. My brother asked me once this weekend "what's got ya blue?" when I said don't worry, let's enjoy the kids, nothing was said and I enjoyed myself. So now I get the fun of deciding what I need to do for me and the kids and the wife can do what ever she wants. Just for fun, Wednesday she comes to me about summer schedule. Well I have taken care of Mon, Fri, Sat and Sun, only leaves tues, wens, thurs where we need a sitter (wens or thurs can also be taken care of on my end) she drops a flier for a new Summer activity league, Kids out of the house and in fun for 9 weeks this summer how can we go wrong right. So I look it over M-F 8am to 5pm 9 weeks = 225.00 per child M-F 8am to 5 pm 9 weeks (daily trips) 10.00 per day/child additional activities. FRIDAY: All Dayer could be SeaWorld or Bush Gardens Tampa (this is an every friday activity, can't afford it kid stays home) from 65.00 per child and up I have 3 Children so just the program alone $675.00 sad sad state of affairs, guess she will be doing things with them or paying from her pocket for the days I won't cover.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 23, 2011 13:01:10 GMT -5
Um, this is not affordable, is it? Especially when you are going to need a lawyer so we are talking big retainer here.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on May 23, 2011 13:06:17 GMT -5
Maybe I'm misunderstanding CME's post, but $675 for 9 weeks of summer care for 3 kids is a pretty good price, isn't it?
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cme1201
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Post by cme1201 on May 23, 2011 13:07:08 GMT -5
I "could" afford it I won't just a large waste of money. Thought it was funny.
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cme1201
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Post by cme1201 on May 23, 2011 13:08:18 GMT -5
Yes the 675 is decent then you tack on the 10per day per child then the 65 and up once a week trip per child and it gets stupid expensive.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on May 23, 2011 13:10:00 GMT -5
Yes the 675 is decent then you tack on the 10per day per child then the 65 and up once a week trip per child and it gets stupid expensive. The extras are stupid expensive, but the base cost seems normal.
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lynnerself
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Post by lynnerself on May 23, 2011 13:18:30 GMT -5
This message has been deleted.
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oreo
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Post by oreo on May 23, 2011 13:18:44 GMT -5
I don't think he is saying that it isn't affordable (or reasonable) but based on principle he isn't going to pay for it. His wife is just trying to put the kids in this program so she doesn't have to take care of them.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on May 23, 2011 13:43:36 GMT -5
CME- I am sorry that things are heading in the direction that they are. My brother is going through a similar situation right now. DBro and his wife married young and after 7 years and 2 kids she decided the world was hers and she needs to go out exploring. It sounds like you are trying to do what's right for you and for your kids.
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Plain Old Petunia
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Post by Plain Old Petunia on May 23, 2011 13:54:31 GMT -5
<< More along the lines of
her: I don't know. me: Are we still in this together her: what do you mean me: marriage, partnership her: I just don't know. >>
Well, now you know where her head is. Did you state anything along the lines of "Well, you need to decide if you are in or out, because things are going to change soon one way or another."?
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 23, 2011 13:56:07 GMT -5
Oh, I thought it was weekly which is more on par.
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cme1201
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Post by cme1201 on May 23, 2011 14:04:52 GMT -5
<< More along the lines of her: I don't know. me: Are we still in this together her: what do you mean me: marriage, partnership her: I just don't know. >> Well, now you know where her head is. Did you state anything along the lines of "Well, you need to decide if you are in or out, because things are going to change soon one way or another."? No I did not. I have tried for 3 years, I am tired of trying tired of doing tired of the same ole same ole.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on May 23, 2011 14:09:17 GMT -5
Yes, that is the definition of insanity after all ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png) CME, my only advice is to write EVERYTHING down - times, dates, conversations. Write down each occasion she dumps the kids at the babysitter so she can go out and party, because if I were you, I'd fight for sole custody. Frankly, she doesn't sound like someone with whom I'd entrust the care of young children. Did you receive a written report from the PI? Keep it handy. Also start keeping track of the amount of money she's contributing to the HH and the amount of money she's draining from the HH. Your lawyer will thank you.
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on May 23, 2011 14:16:21 GMT -5
Yes, that is the definition of insanity after all ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png) CME, my only advice is to write EVERYTHING down - times, dates, conversations. Write down each occasion she dumps the kids at the babysitter so she can go out and party, because if I were you, I'd fight for sole custody. Frankly, she doesn't sound like someone with whom I'd entrust the care of young children. Did you receive a written report from the PI? Keep it handy. Also start keeping track of the amount of money she's contributing to the HH and the amount of money she's draining from the HH. Your lawyer will thank you. Good advice here
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on May 23, 2011 14:26:11 GMT -5
That's exactly what my brother's lawyer told him too. If you have to give her money for something write a check- don't give her cash. If you are the one that pays for daycare or whatever- make sure it's a check and not cash. DBro settled on 50/50 custody but honestly I think he should have fought for full custody. There is a lot I don't want to get into here but she is not a fit parent (my SIL). May be too soon to be giving you advice like this but it's best to be prepared.
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