what are you doing right now?

[andi9899]

My sister spotted the McRib in the wild on a menu. I'm going to try the one by my house after I pick up my Target order.

[Cheesy FL-Vol]

Nov 22, 2024 17:26:11 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

My sister spotted the McRib in the wild on a menu. I'm going to try the one by my house after I pick up my Target order.

No amount of money would make me eat one of those McWhats.

Or Taco Smell for that matter. 

[andi9899]

Nov 22, 2024 17:39:20 GMT -5 Cheesy FL-Vol said:

Nov 22, 2024 17:26:11 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

My sister spotted the McRib in the wild on a menu. I'm going to try the one by my house after I pick up my Target order.

No amount of money would make me eat one of those McWhats.

Or Taco Smell for that matter. 

Don't hate! It's delicious! I do also tend to like the stuff everyone else doesn't.

[soupandstew]

countrygirl3  Sorry to hear you caught a bug but seems like a good thing you cancelled out early on the family T-Day gathering since you will be contagious.  

Also sorry to hear about your DD needing cataract surgery - the poor lady has so many challenges.  Hope it goes well.  At least the diagnosis gave you an insight into her walking issues which is a positive.  

[minnesotapaintlady]

Life with my mother that always has to one up me on everything.  I texted her pics of my garage because I was so proud I figured out a way to get the shop area cleaned out so I could pull way up in one stall and get all three vehicles and the tractor with the snowblower parked inside.

She tells me they're organizing cold storage for the winter and sends me this...  Yeah, stacking is a better space saver I guess.

[Pink Cashmere]

I am trying to figure out how even if I buy a house that costs $300k and put enough money down that the mortgage is $150k, how the heck I can afford the mortgage payment in retirement. 

I don’t need a big house, my little 1,270sf house was fine as far as size when I lived there by myself. Location is what’s going to cost some money.

On one hand I keep reflexively saying that I’m SO mad at myself. But then I correct myself, because I know that some of the reasons I don’t have more money than I do are due to pure ignorance, because even though I know how to add and subtract, I didn’t really start learning what I needed to know about personal finance until I was in my mid to late 30’s…. because life has sometimes happened in ways I had no control over…. and because I have trusted and/or tried to help people that I cared about and I made a lot of bad decisions due to what felt to me, like showing love to those people. When I want to get mad at myself, I usually try to remind myself to show myself from Grace, because for a long time, there was no way for me to know what I didn’t know, to the extent that when I figured out that maybe I was doing it wrong, I didn’t know what I didn’t know enough to even know what questions to ask. And as many mistakes as I’ve made because I genuinely loved someone, whether it was my family or Mister, at least I can say that my heart was good, even though my boundaries weren’t always what they should’ve been, and even I though I was being naive and silly in thinking they would show me the same kind of love and not try to use me or mistreat me.

But none of that is really here nor there at this point. Everybody I gave my bricks to while I was trying to build my own house, and all the people I have loved that didn’t give me the same kind of love I gave them, that’s all lessons learned and water under the bridge that I can’t focus on right now. The real question is WTF do I do now.

Because unfortunately for me, the math ain’t mathing.

[finnime]

I took DD to a medical appointment and she was alarmed listening to me cough. I was going to wear a mask tomorrow anyway but she and DH think I should sit this one out. So, I'm going to load up the car and help with the set up, then come home to rest. DH can handle it, we decided.

I have a PCP appointment on Monday anyway. Maybe I'll ask for some Tussionex then. The cough is a real problem. I sound like a seal barking, or maybe like I'm going to expel an important internal organ.

[minnesotapaintlady]

Nov 22, 2024 18:47:56 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

I am trying to figure out how even if I buy a house that costs $300k and put enough money down that the mortgage is $150k, how the heck I can afford the mortgage payment in retirement. 

I don’t need a big house, my little 1,270sf house was fine as far as size when I lived there by myself. Location is what’s going to cost some money.

How about a condo?  Are they reasonably priced down there?  If I was looking to buy right before retirement, I don't think I'd go with a SFH. I'd rather have a small condo where all outside stuff is taken care of.

[soupandstew]

Nov 22, 2024 19:21:18 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Nov 22, 2024 18:47:56 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

I am trying to figure out how even if I buy a house that costs $300k and put enough money down that the mortgage is $150k, how the heck I can afford the mortgage payment in retirement. 

I don’t need a big house, my little 1,270sf house was fine as far as size when I lived there by myself. Location is what’s going to cost some money.

How about a condo?  Are they reasonably priced down there?  If I was looking to buy right before retirement, I don't think I'd go with a SFH. I'd rather have a small condo where all outside stuff is taken care of.

And, without any intent of being snarky, a smaller place like a condo sort of limits the possibility of a family member demanding to move in.  Nope, sorry, no room etc

[ners]

Nov 22, 2024 19:08:47 GMT -5 finnime said:

I took DD to a medical appointment and she was alarmed listening to me cough. I was going to wear a mask tomorrow anyway but she and DH think I should sit this one out. So, I'm going to load up the car and help with the set up, then come home to rest. DH can handle it, we decided.

I have a PCP appointment on Monday anyway. Maybe I'll ask for some Tussionex then. The cough is a real problem. I sound like a seal barking, or maybe like I'm going to expel an important internal organ.

Sorry to hear you are still not feeling well.  Hope you begin to feel better soon.

[Pink Cashmere]

I have already upset Mister’s nerves, before he even got in the house from the garage. He asked what’s wrong with me, and I said read the text I just sent you. It was a long text and when he looked at his phone and said let me go get my glasses. I asked would you like for me to just tell you? He said yeah.

So just before he got home, I was sitting in the garage. YD came home and I guess the keypad to let the garage door up wouldn’t work, so she started banging in the garage door. I went and let the door up. I was sitting closer to the garage door, and by the time she got to the steps to the house, I said “you’re welcome”. She said “I said thank you”. I said “my bad, I didn’t hear you”. She did NOT say anything, FTR.

So when she opened the door to the house, Boy ran out of the door. He was running out of the garage and I was yelling NO. He tried to squeeze under the door as it was almost to the ground, and I was able to grab him and pull him back. I let him go because the door was all the way down, he ran to the door to the house and was able to push it open and go back inside the house. The door was wide open until I got up and closed it.

So after telling Mister what what happened my questions were, if Boy had successfully run out of the garage because he is unruly and doesn’t listen, was I supposed to be the one running around in the dark chasing him? And if he had gotten hurt by the garage door when he was trying to squeeze under it, would that have been my fault? YD knew he ran out the door when she opened it and she did not try to stop him or even tell him NO. She didn’t say anything, and just kept going about her business. I said, I know you would be devastated if Boy ran off or something happened to hurt him, so who was supposed to try to keep him from running off or getting crushed by the garage door, other than me, when I didn’t let him out in the first place?

I told Mister, that is just one thing of many that have happened and do happen, that I don’t even normally mention to him. But if imma be the bad guy because he doesn’t want to deal with his daughters, imma start pointing out the shit they do, that I haven’t ever even said anything about.

[ners]

watching my local high school football team play in playoffs.  So happy the cable system picked tis game.  Currently tied 7-7.  Hoping the quarterback for my local team is not hurt.  (He is also the punter, and they just had the backup punter punt. 

[Pink Cashmere]

Nov 22, 2024 19:21:18 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Nov 22, 2024 18:47:56 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

I am trying to figure out how even if I buy a house that costs $300k and put enough money down that the mortgage is $150k, how the heck I can afford the mortgage payment in retirement. 

I don’t need a big house, my little 1,270sf house was fine as far as size when I lived there by myself. Location is what’s going to cost some money.

How about a condo?  Are they reasonably priced down there?  If I was looking to buy right before retirement, I don't think I'd go with a SFH. I'd rather have a small condo where all outside stuff is taken care of.

I haven’t even looked at condos, because I prefer the privacy and space from my neighbors, of SFHs. I don’t like shared walls and I do like having outdoor space, even if I pay someone else out of my pockets to take care of it.

But I guess I need to get over myself enough to consider condos too, if one would make the most financial sense. I’ve just always wanted a house and yard of my own, even if both were small. I’ve had a small house with a nice size backyard, but I guess I need to accept that I might not even have that again.

[NastyWoman]

Nov 22, 2024 18:40:53 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Life with my mother that always has to one up me on everything.  I texted her pics of my garage because I was so proud I figured out a way to get the shop area cleaned out so I could pull way up in one stall and get all three vehicles and the tractor with the snowblower parked inside.

She tells me they're organizing cold storage for the winter and sends me this...  Yeah, stacking is a better space saver I guess.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

One small petty satisfaction regarding my PIP is I have to do a check list for every submission I enter.

I can do upwards of 300 submissions a month when we're really busy.

According to my.PIP she's going to go through each and every one to validate it.

Have fun with that.🤣

The checklist itself isn't a bad thing it's helping redirect my dyslexia. It's HOW I'm being expected to use it that passes me off.

Now a normal person would probably look at 300 individual submissions and go wow she doesn't really make as many mistakes as I thought when you take into account her workload.

But they won't. Whatever.

[Pink Cashmere]

Nov 22, 2024 19:29:51 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

Nov 22, 2024 19:21:18 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

How about a condo?  Are they reasonably priced down there?  If I was looking to buy right before retirement, I don't think I'd go with a SFH. I'd rather have a small condo where all outside stuff is taken care of.

And, without any intent of being snarky, a smaller place like a condo sort of limits the possibility of a family member demanding to move in.  Nope, sorry, no room etc

Well, some people don’t care if all you have space for is a sofa or floor to sleep on, if that prevents them from taking responsibility for their own selves and lives.

So my growth requires me to be able to say no to those kinds of people, even if I live in a mansion. I understand what you are saying with your post, I’m just saying that even though it is still difficult for me, learning to be able to say no to protect myself and my peace from people like that, doesn’t have anything to do with whatever resources I have or space available in my home. I don’t need an excuse to say no, if I just don’t want it, even though lack of space would be a convenient excuse. And one that people still may or may not try to argue with me about, so my “no” should just be good enough, without needing a reason or excuse. Does that make sense? That is a serious question, and not me being funny or whatever. 

[finnime]

Pink Cashmere, you're a strong woman. You've come a long way through all sorts of terrain and encountered all sorts of people. Do not discount the fact that you own a house, once your home. If you want to you could make it your home again, without your mother.

I've never been in the area you live in, but I'm sure they have housing for elderly people.

If you decide you don't want to live in that house again, you can sell it and use the proceeds to buy another home better suited to you. There are many directions you could go in if you free your mind.

You have choices.

[cooper88]

Pink Cashmere After retirement, so you still need to live right in town? Maybe move to a more outlying area, but close enough to commute in for healthcare and big city stuff.

[Pink Cashmere]

Nov 22, 2024 19:57:56 GMT -5 finnime said:

Pink Cashmere , you're a strong woman. You've come a long way through all sorts of terrain and encountered all sorts of people. Do not discount the fact that you own a house, once your home. If you want to you could make it your home again, without your mother.

I've never been in the area you live in, but I'm sure they have housing for elderly people.

If you decide you don't want to live in that house again, you can sell it and use the proceeds to buy another home better suited to you. There are many directions you could go in if you free your mind.

You have choices.

Thank you so much for your kind words. 

In the post I made about trying to get a down payment big enough to even try to afford a mortgage payment on a house, that absolutely included money I would receive from selling my house. The money I’d get from selling my house would still need more money added to it, but unless a miracle happened somehow, some way, I would definitely have to sell my house in order for me to move somewhere else. And still come up with a lot more money.

I am very grateful that at least I do have a house and that gives me some options, even if none of them really look good to me. I am still better off than if I never even had the house. 

I really am trying to free my mind, and be open to new ideas. That is kind of a struggle though, when I am also pretty much back in survival mode and just trying to get by while I try to put myself back together enough and prepare to make whatever moves I need to. It’s a lot to be trying to do at the same time. I’m not whining about it, I’m just being honest. 

I have been reminded that I DO have big girl panties, and have finally found them again, even though they are still just somewhere around my ankles right now.  But I am slowly but surely pulling them up and I have enough faith in God and myself that eventually my big girl panties will be and fit where they are supposed to be. 

[Ava]

Nov 18, 2024 11:21:09 GMT -5 bean29 said:

Nov 17, 2024 20:57:18 GMT -5 Ava said:

Winding down to start a new work week tomorrow.

I go to an office 30 miles away once a week. It's heavy traffic, and the office building is old. The configuration sucks. There's one bathroom 2 floors down, that's it. The office itself sucks. There's a kitchenette but nowhere to sit down and eat. So, I end up eating in my car, which I do not like at all. The building turns down the heat during the weekend, and it's not even 60 degrees on Monday morning. It takes a couple of hours to feel warm in there.

I keep telling myself it's only once a week, and I remind myself I left a very toxic work environment to work here. All of that is true, but I don't want to go there anymore.

When I got hired, I was told I would work in the office near my home. And I do. I work there 2 days a week, 2 days from home, and 1 day in the office 30 miles away. I really want to stop going there.
But my immediate supervisor works there, and she appreciates some face-to-face interactions.

I'm turning 52 next week. I don't know if it's age related, maybe I'm approaching menopause or what. But I'm tired. The job is not bad, people are great. I just don't want to work anymore. I daydream of retiring. Then I snap out of it, even early retirement is years away.

My car had an issue this weekend. I got the "check tire pressure" light on. I suck at cars so bad. I called a lady I met through the Meetup group I organize. We have become good friends. She met me at a nearby gas station. She showed me how to put air in the tires, but this tire was still flat. She called her boyfriend, and we went to his house. He works on cars and has a ton of equipment. There was a leak on the tire. He fixed it for me. I thanked him so many times. I'm going to bake him a pie or some alfajores, because he likes sweets, and he refused to charge me for his work.

My DH says to go to the oil change place and ask them to fill your tires.  He says especially in the winter, b/c the ones at the gas station tend to freeze up.  He said just be prepared to tip the worker who fills your tires.  Of course your way ended up working in your favor as she had a solution when you needed a leak fixed.

My friend and her boyfriend both recommended a tire place near my home. They are open M to Saturday, so that's doable for me.

[Ava]

weltz hope everything goes well with your surgery

[empress of self-improvement]

Nov 22, 2024 19:08:47 GMT -5 finnime said:

I took DD to a medical appointment and she was alarmed listening to me cough. I was going to wear a mask tomorrow anyway but she and DH think I should sit this one out. So, I'm going to load up the car and help with the set up, then come home to rest. DH can handle it, we decided.

I have a PCP appointment on Monday anyway. Maybe I'll ask for some Tussionex then. The cough is a real problem. I sound like a seal barking, or maybe like I'm going to expel an important internal organ.

Make sure you don't have bronchitis. That's what I sound and feel like when I do

[finnime]

I almost certainly do have bronchitis again.

It stinks.

[Pink Cashmere]

Nov 22, 2024 20:12:57 GMT -5 cooper88 said:

Pink Cashmere After retirement, so you still need to live right in town? Maybe move to a more outlying area, but close enough to commute in for healthcare and big city stuff.

I don’t live “in town” now. Moving even further away from the city, costs more than living in or closer than the city. 

And now that I had reason to write that, that doesn’t really make sense on the surface. 

I wrote and deleted a long post explaining some things, 

But the short story is that I swear ‘fore cheese and crackers that I am not trying to dismiss any of the suggestions about where I could maybe move to. Even though I realize that I might have to give up some things I’d prefer to have, there are also some things that I know I’d be miserable with. But not living “in town” is not one of those things. I actually prefer not to live “in town”, but I’d like to be close enough to take advantage of the benefits of living a hour or less away from a big city. 

[Ava]

Pink Cashmere look into townhouses.

My condo is a townhome.
We share side walls but each of us have a little patio, a balcony, a garage and our own entrance.
If you put some extra insulation on the side walls, you won't hear your neighbors.

As a woman living alone, I rather have people nearby.
Added bonus, I don't have to worry about any exterior maintenance, which becomes more taxing as we age. We have an HOA, but doing your own exterior maintenance also costs time and money. You pay one way or another.

I wouldn't like to live in a condo as part of a building. 
But a townhouse is a good alternative to an SFH.

JMHO, but Mister is not going to change. Adults don't change. I'm a clear example of that. I'm disorganized and have some bad habits I've been trying to change for years and I can't.

To me, if you stay there you'll always be angry and frustrated, and time goes by. We only get one life.

Moving out doesn't mean you have to break out with Mister. Living together is not easy.
You can be a couple, with each of you having your own home and visiting each other, going out, and enjoying each other's company.

[empress of self-improvement]

Nov 22, 2024 21:20:01 GMT -5 finnime said:

I almost certainly do have bronchitis again.

It stinks.

Sorry!

[andi9899]

Finally sitting down. I went to Target and picked up stuff to clean with. I swear if there is a cleaning gadget/chemical, I have it. I am almost done with laundry for the day. I still have to wash my bedding tomorrow. I got a lot of the bar downstairs set up and built a shelf for the basement.

My uncle is coming over tomorrow to bring my dining room chair he fixed for me. I'm going to have him help me take the shelf down the basement stairs. I think I can clear out at least one of the 2 disaster rooms tomorrow. I'm so ready for everything to be in its place. I don't like a messy house.

[weltz]

Nov 22, 2024 17:39:20 GMT -5 Cheesy FL-Vol said:

Nov 22, 2024 17:26:11 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

My sister spotted the McRib in the wild on a menu. I'm going to try the one by my house after I pick up my Target order.

No amount of money would make me eat one of those McWhats.

Or Taco Smell for that matter. 

If you ever come across a McLobster......keep walking. It's mostly mayo on a hot dog bun.

[Peace77]

Nov 22, 2024 21:30:19 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Nov 22, 2024 20:12:57 GMT -5 cooper88 said:

Pink Cashmere After retirement, so you still need to live right in town? Maybe move to a more outlying area, but close enough to commute in for healthcare and big city stuff.

I don’t live “in town” now. Moving even further away from the city, costs more than living in or closer than the city. 

And now that I had reason to write that, that doesn’t really make sense on the surface. 

I wrote and deleted a long post explaining some things, 

But the short story is that I swear ‘fore cheese and crackers that I am not trying to dismiss any of the suggestions about where I could maybe move to. Even though I realize that I might have to give up some things I’d prefer to have, there are also some things that I know I’d be miserable with. But not living “in town” is not one of those things. I actually prefer not to live “in town”, but I’d like to be close enough to take advantage of the benefits of living a hour or less away from a big city. 

The median house price for your city is $179,900.  This means that half are less than that.  

I don’t know the neighborhoods or where you would like to live but there are small homes that appear decent starting around $75k.

[weltz]

Nov 22, 2024 20:42:48 GMT -5 Ava said:

weltz hope everything goes well with your surgery

Thank you, Ava.