daisylu
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Post by daisylu on Nov 13, 2024 13:13:08 GMT -5
Work plan was very efficient, and I am ahead of schedule. Only a few more things to handle onsite and then I can pound bricks.
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weltz
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Post by weltz on Nov 13, 2024 13:14:46 GMT -5
I'm sorry az for that extra update. I don't know why in 2024, there's still the attitude that all things kid related must stay with the mom. That the mom is always the one who should have access to kids, should be the go to for all things kid related, etc. Yet, here we are. We learned exactly nothing from Covid.
And it's just so damn tone deaf even in the most benign situations.
I am way on the struggle bus. I slept a lot last night and it didn't help at all. I'm so f-ing angry this morning at the thoughtlessness of people. Like, I really do wish I would have chosen a husband that made enough money and didn't care if I worked or not in the name of keeping me "happy." I'm not some kept woman that has nothing better to do with her time than meet your demands withing seconds. That is not synonymous with being the woman/mom in the relationship. So. DD1 is likely going to get no family birthday celebration. DH is likely getting no sex for the foreseeable future. And I'm sure my mom is going to take out her failure to adult out on me because I'm not coming to her rescue fast enough. And we'll see if we can pull a playdate off. I dunno. I'm sure DH will step up for the kids. Because that's what matters to him.
And I'm supposed to be happy watching my legs balloon up because there's no time to take care of myself. (My ankles/feet balloon on tamoxifen if I don't walk around. It's a side effect). All the while I get to watch everyone else have time to take care of themselves.
This is not the life that I battled cancer for.
And I have been communicating. I'm not going to beg my own husband or kids to spend time with me. But, then, fuck, don't be surprised at the consequences. On the other hand, maybe humans are just so stupid that going through Covid wasn't enough to start to make change.
The problem is, I am not stupid. And I don't want lie in a bed that other people have made with their stupidity.
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weltz
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Post by weltz on Nov 13, 2024 14:16:08 GMT -5
More stories from Sushi the Peculiar.....
A neighbour came over with a nice box from Amazon .."For your cat. It's a perfect size for him"
"Sushi doesn't care for boxes"
"All cats like boxes!"
"All cats are different. Does your cat whack you on the back of your head if you're not facing him at night?"
Anyway, Sushi looked at the box and shook his paw in disgust. (Cat owners know what I mean)
Later in the evening he was yelling at me to get it out of the way. It was interfering with his figure 8 pacing (due to h.is sundowning)
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Nov 13, 2024 14:18:14 GMT -5
Trigger warning - CHILD ABUSE
TFW got arrested, presumably for child abuse. Apparently little sis was smart enough to record the abuse in some way.
Teen is trying to figure out where her siblings are placed. She's also blaming herself for starting this whole mess. And I'm been trying to shut that down hard. The only one to blame here is TFW. Info is coming from big bro who is 19 and has been couch surfing for a few years. He's blaming himself too but I told her he couldn't have prevented it without ending up in huge trouble himself bc he's legally an adult.
Meanwhile I'm thinking if they keep TFW in jail, now which parent gets medical rights?!
ETA - teen has therapy today so will have a space to process.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Nov 13, 2024 14:23:31 GMT -5
azucena i'm sure you and BT are feeling a whirlwind of emotions right now....
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Nov 13, 2024 14:39:19 GMT -5
azucena. so glad to hear that TFW FINALLY got caught being her awful self. Little sis has wisdom beyond her years. Those younger siblings are better off, even in foster care, that being stuck with that monster. Could BT possibly get custody of her siblings once she hits legal age & gets established?
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gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on Nov 13, 2024 14:39:27 GMT -5
azucena liking your post feels wrong. I do like that TFW has been arrested and I hope the children are somewhere safe.
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gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on Nov 13, 2024 14:40:10 GMT -5
azucena . so glad to hear that TFW FINALLY got caught being her awful self. Little sis has wisdom beyond her years. Those younger siblings are better off, even in foster care, that being stuck with that monster. Could BT possibly get custody of her siblings once she hits legal age & gets established? That's an awful lot to put on her shoulders. |
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Nov 13, 2024 14:40:36 GMT -5
Huge hugs. I wish I had something more helpful.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Nov 13, 2024 14:40:54 GMT -5
azucena liking your post feels wrong. I do like that TFW has been arrested and I hope the children are somewhere safe. Ditto! ((((Hugs))))) |
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Nov 13, 2024 14:42:25 GMT -5
azucena . so glad to hear that TFW FINALLY got caught being her awful self. Little sis has wisdom beyond her years. Those younger siblings are better off, even in foster care, that being stuck with that monster. Could BT possibly get custody of her siblings once she hits legal age & gets established? That's an awful lot to put on her shoulders. I know, but I'm familiar with a family where both mom & dad died, and an older sibling took custody of an underage child. I'm not saying BT should, but wondered if it was an option. At the very least, I hope the county is transparent & lets her visit her siblings. |
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Nov 13, 2024 14:42:37 GMT -5
azucena . so glad to hear that TFW FINALLY got caught being her awful self. Little sis has wisdom beyond her years. Those younger siblings are better off, even in foster care, that being stuck with that monster. Could BT possibly get custody of her siblings once she hits legal age & gets established? That's an awful lot to put on her shoulders. And not to pile on, but we hope they are or will be in a better spot. There is no guarantee of that. |
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Nov 13, 2024 14:50:01 GMT -5
azucena . so glad to hear that TFW FINALLY got caught being her awful self. Little sis has wisdom beyond her years. Those younger siblings are better off, even in foster care, that being stuck with that monster. Could BT possibly get custody of her siblings once she hits legal age & gets established? I'd hate to see BT sacrifice her college future to take care of her siblings but maybe that's selfish of me. Her life has already been full of too much childcare such that she says she's never having children of her own. We're hearing that the 11 and 9 ended up with a grown cousin. When teen called there, cousin confirmed and then hung up on teen basically sending the msg that this is teen's fault. Teen says this cousin will always take TFW's side. 4 yr old seems to have ended up with his dad whom TFW was still messing around with. Teen says he's not great but one of the better ones that TFW has dated. Teen knows that DH and I can't take them in. I'm stretched too far as it is. We've always said we'd support her in seeing them as often as possible but TFW was in the way. |
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Nov 13, 2024 14:51:48 GMT -5
That's an awful lot to put on her shoulders. And not to pile on, but we hope they are or will be in a better spot. There is no guarantee of that. Yes, this is what Teen and I are both thinking. I'm more naïve than Teen and keep thinking we know for sure TFW was awful so at least this gives siblings a chance. ?? |
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Nov 13, 2024 14:59:59 GMT -5
And not to pile on, but we hope they are or will be in a better spot. There is no guarantee of that. Yes, this is what Teen and I are both thinking. I'm more naïve than Teen and keep thinking we know for sure TFW was awful so at least this gives siblings a chance. ?? I definitely think you and BT need to focus on how you can support BT, and know that with that they are in a better situation because they have others looking out for them. No matter what happens now. I only added it because foster care is complicated at best but those of us without any experienceare most likely to sing the sunshine and rainbows idea of it that does not exist. I've personally been that person way too often. There are a million reasons reunification is the priority of the system. I'm not actively working toward fostering at this time, but I do follow people who do and the most informative are the former foster kids who respond. Mind boggling, painful, make you question everything you think you know. |
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Post by minnesotapaintlady on Nov 13, 2024 15:13:30 GMT -5
Don't be too surprised if not much comes of this and she's out and her kids are back with her in no time.
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lurkyloo
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Post by lurkyloo on Nov 13, 2024 15:15:04 GMT -5
They’ve been moved from a household where they were for sure getting beaten to one where they might not be?
Can’t be sorry TFW is in jail. Just crossing my fingers that this is better.
Man people suck. Thinking of y’all.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Nov 13, 2024 15:20:29 GMT -5
The sister of a friend of mine used to do foster care, and the condition of some of the kids that came to her was simply awful. Kids who had been punched in the face by mom or her current boyfriend, etc., but the one I still think about is a baby that arrived with cigarette burns all over their body--mom apparently would burn it when she got tired of the baby crying. I've heard some of the bad tales of being in foster care, but there are good people out there taking kids in with the best of intentions. Not every biological parent is a fit parent. I know everyone says your mom or dad always wants the best for you, but we've seen with our friends here on Proboards that's not always the truth. I do wish BT's siblings a safe future, where they feel cared for.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Nov 13, 2024 16:42:42 GMT -5
Well this month can suck a bag of dicks.
I got put on a PIP.
We'll see I guess. I can give 120% for 90 days to get myself off it but it's going to burn me the fuck out.
Here is hoping that job is actually in Omaha and I get it. Somehow I doubt it because there is no way I am going to get that lucky.
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cooper88
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Post by cooper88 on Nov 13, 2024 16:53:34 GMT -5
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Nov 13, 2024 17:00:31 GMT -5
Trigger warning - CHILD ABUSE TFW got arrested, presumably for child abuse. Apparently little sis was smart enough to record the abuse in some way. Teen is trying to figure out where her siblings are placed. She's also blaming herself for starting this whole mess. And I'm been trying to shut that down hard. The only one to blame here is TFW. Info is coming from big bro who is 19 and has been couch surfing for a few years. He's blaming himself too but I told her he couldn't have prevented it without ending up in huge trouble himself bc he's legally an adult. Meanwhile I'm thinking if they keep TFW in jail, now which parent gets medical rights?! ETA - teen has therapy today so will have a space to process. Can you take advantage of TFW being in jail and get BT the dental and mental health she needs and deserves? |
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Nov 13, 2024 17:07:08 GMT -5
I'm sorry drama.
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Peace77
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Post by Peace77 on Nov 13, 2024 17:08:18 GMT -5
I'm sorry az for that extra update. I don't know why in 2024, there's still the attitude that all things kid related must stay with the mom. That the mom is always the one who should have access to kids, should be the go to for all things kid related, etc. Yet, here we are. We learned exactly nothing from Covid.
And it's just so damn tone deaf even in the most benign situations.
I am way on the struggle bus. I slept a lot last night and it didn't help at all. I'm so f-ing angry this morning at the thoughtlessness of people. Like, I really do wish I would have chosen a husband that made enough money and didn't care if I worked or not in the name of keeping me "happy." I'm not some kept woman that has nothing better to do with her time than meet your demands withing seconds. That is not synonymous with being the woman/mom in the relationship. So. DD1 is likely going to get no family birthday celebration. DH is likely getting no sex for the foreseeable future. And I'm sure my mom is going to take out her failure to adult out on me because I'm not coming to her rescue fast enough. And we'll see if we can pull a playdate off. I dunno. I'm sure DH will step up for the kids. Because that's what matters to him.
And I'm supposed to be happy watching my legs balloon up because there's no time to take care of myself. (My ankles/feet balloon on tamoxifen if I don't walk around. It's a side effect). All the while I get to watch everyone else have time to take care of themselves.
This is not the life that I battled cancer for.
And I have been communicating. I'm not going to beg my own husband or kids to spend time with me. But, then, fuck, don't be surprised at the consequences. On the other hand, maybe humans are just so stupid that going through Covid wasn't enough to start to make change.
The problem is, I am not stupid. And I don't want lie in a bed that other people have made with their stupidity.
Take care of yourself! Go for a walk, even if just a short one. Have DH get a cake or cupcakes for your daughter Birthday. Have DH take DD12 with him and she can get a gift then. Deep breath. Hugs. |
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Nov 13, 2024 17:17:51 GMT -5
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seriousthistime
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Post by seriousthistime on Nov 13, 2024 17:24:58 GMT -5
Trigger warning - CHILD ABUSE TFW got arrested, presumably for child abuse. Apparently little sis was smart enough to record the abuse in some way. Teen is trying to figure out where her siblings are placed. She's also blaming herself for starting this whole mess. And I'm been trying to shut that down hard. The only one to blame here is TFW. Info is coming from big bro who is 19 and has been couch surfing for a few years. He's blaming himself too but I told her he couldn't have prevented it without ending up in huge trouble himself bc he's legally an adult. Meanwhile I'm thinking if they keep TFW in jail, now which parent gets medical rights?! ETA - teen has therapy today so will have a space to process. Can you take advantage of TFW being in jail and get BT the dental and mental health she needs and deserves? I was wondering the same. |
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Nov 13, 2024 17:30:31 GMT -5
So am I. This isn't right. |
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Nov 13, 2024 17:31:44 GMT -5
Can you take advantage of TFW being in jail and get BT the dental and mental health she needs and deserves? I was wondering the same. As am I. Would dad sign for medical through you? He knows TFW is a disaster. I am so sorry for all of this and for what the children are all going through. |
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Nov 13, 2024 17:32:13 GMT -5
I just had a "deep" conversation with myself Me: I really don't want to go to TJs today. It's cold(ish) and it looks like it might rain Also me: you are right and tomorrow will be another day you could go Me: bloody right. Tomorrow it is Me again: I won the debate! Now off to make a nice cup of herbal tea  |
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Nov 13, 2024 17:32:27 GMT -5
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Nov 13, 2024 17:34:03 GMT -5
I had a small win today. I did a chat with Apple and phone calls and text notifications are now coming through. For at least 90 days, the only call that would ring was DN1.
Had me screen shot a bunch of settings and change some things and it's fixed!!!!!
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