My dad

[TheOtherMe]

I will. I am doing little things as I am not able to handle the big picture yet

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

more 

[TheOtherMe]

Bill arrived for dad's meals and I called the funeral home.

Mom and dad had pre-paid their funerals and I now know what we owe.  When they pre-paid, it did not include a 6 hour round trip times 2 to pick up their remains.  

Pleasantly surprised at the amount we owe.  

The pizza party instead of ham sandwiches cost $100 less than the church lunch even though we had it at a church.  They didn't fix any food.  They served and cleaned up.  

[Deleted]

TheOtherMe, does this mean that what needed to be done by you is done now?

[TheOtherMe]

The bill isn't here from the funeral home, but I know the amount.

I have asked sister how much to pay for dad's meals since they gave her a hard time and billed us for 2 meals for not giving 48 hours notice to stop.  How do you give 48 hours notice when somebody has had a medical emergency?

Only think left for me is to send the copy of the death certificate once it is received (late next week if we are lucky).  The claim is complete.  They just need the copy of the death certificate.   It was insurance through dad's employer taken out in the 60's so it's not much.  (It will pay for my much needed trip to Colorado.)

I also have to send a copy of the death certificate to dad's HR.  That's a formality as they owe him nothing and the life insurance is with an entirely separate company.

I think there was one more place I have to send the death certificate.  All related to his former employer and pension.

When I talked to HR, there were 3 places to send it for them.  Ridiculous.

[TheOtherMe]

Starting next Monday, I will nag until whatever was unsigned on dad's will by his attorney from where he lived before moving here is not fixed.  

I can nag like nobody else when I decide to and I will.

Then that attorney will receive a letter about what I think about the piece of sh*t financial POA.

I'm also changing my own will because of the issues we ran into re: my half sister.  But it's a do it yourself will and will still be.  I'm also cutting out my sister but it's because she will be old or dead when I die.  

[seriousthistime]

I understand not wanting to pay for the two days of meals in lieu of giving two days notice, and realize it's impractical when you are dealing with the elderly whose health may not allow them to predict their lives two days in advance. 

But how much can two days' worth of Meals on Wheels be, even if it is a donation?  Heck, PM me the amount and where to send it and I'll mail a check to you.  I don't think they're in it to make a profit. 

[Value Buy]

Dec 27, 2019 19:04:49 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Dec 27, 2019 18:44:47 GMT -5 CCL said:

I suspect she contacted the attorney for her own selfish reasons.

Not for her selfish reasons.  Part of the money has to go through probate.  But there is a much more important reason to contact an attorney.

There is a provision in the will that may result in someone trying to contest the will.  We have talked about the provision over the years and I have always told her to use an attorney for this.

I am surprised by his advice that we not take the other money once the death certificate is received.

A portion of the money also has to go to probate.

We shall see if she takes a fee.  My reading of state law is that the portion that has to go through probate is less than $100,000.  State law says the fee can be no more than 3% of the gross estate.  

How large is the estate?
Does his home state make it mandatory to go through probate? You might want to contact an attorney and ask a few questions.

[TheOtherMe]

All the mail I will be receiving today has to do with dad.  

[shanendoah]

Jan 2, 2020 10:03:15 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

All the mail I will be receiving today has to do with dad.  

*hugs* Wishing you strength. Reminding you it's not really urgent. Deal only with what you can deal with at the moment, and then set everything else aside until you have the emotional energy to deal with it again.

[TheOtherMe]

This is my approach.  It's all I can handle.

My sister contacted me about she needs the check from the living facility for his apartment refund.  Uh, if she had made any of the phone calls, she would know the check is going to her.  

She said she has to have it by tomorrow so she can open up the estate return.  It did not contractually have to be issued until Monday, December 30.  I doubt it went out with Monday's mail, so it was not mailed until Tuesday for a post mark.  It takes two days minimum for local mail.  Don't know what time her appointment with the attorney is tomorrow, but she may not have the check.

I told her to ask the attorney what she needs to do.  I'm not the executor but I think she needs a tax ID number to open the account.  I'm not educating myself on her duties.  I've already done her duties to this point and she can finish it out.

I just need a copy of the death certificate to mail places.  

I'm hoping the fact that she has an appointment means whatever needed to happen with the attorney who wrote the will has done his thing and the notices can go in the paper, etc. that the attorney says has to be done so we can get our money in 4 to 6 months.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I'm not educating myself on her duties. I've already done her duties to this point and she can finish it out.


Good for you, stick to your guns.   If she wants the money and stuff bad enough she can get off her ass and do the legwork.   

[TheOtherMe]

Former employer sent a letter requesting the death certificate ASAP or to let them know the person is still living.

We have not received the death certificate to send to them.  

[NoNamePerson]

I think it took about six weeks before I got them after my mother passed away. I was fortunate though that no one needed one. I really wish this was a bit easier for you but just hang in there as best you can.

[TheOtherMe]

Funeral director said it would be after the first of the year.  He said the process is fairly quick, but the holidays would have slowed the process down.

Also, the doctor who has to sign it may or may not be back from his annual trip to Florida.  Not sure if he is around to sign until next week.

[shanendoah]

TheOtherMe - Remember, ASAP means "As Soon As Possible", not "this very second". And you will since you cannot send a copy of a death certificate you don't have, it is currently not possible. You will, in fact, send them one, as soon as possible. Just breath.

[TheOtherMe]

Thank you shanendoah

I talked to a friend last night.  I am going to call the attorney sister is using for an explanation next week of why he says the joint bank accounts with dad, sister and me can not be paid when the death certificate arrives.  

My friend doesn't understand why and my legal research for this state says those accounts pass outside the probated estate.  I'm an heir and I want an explanation--since my sister sends brief texts like attorney says can't cash in accounts

[azucena]

FWIW, we couldn't cash out my dad's accounts until the notice had been posted 6? months to see if he had any outstanding debts. If someone could have proven a debt we didn't know about, it would have needed to be paid out of his accounts first before we could inherit what was left.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Jan 2, 2020 18:56:45 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Former employer sent a letter requesting the death certificate ASAP or to let them know the person is still living.

We have not received the death certificate to send to them.  

Remember these people do not care and that they are following a script.   They will get it when they get it and not a moment sooner.   You're under no obligations to move mountains for them.  Focus on getting the estate settled and everything else can wait.

[swamp]

Jan 2, 2020 12:28:04 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

This is my approach.  It's all I can handle.

My sister contacted me about she needs the check from the living facility for his apartment refund.  Uh, if she had made any of the phone calls, she would know the check is going to her.  

She said she has to have it by tomorrow so she can open up the estate return.  It did not contractually have to be issued until Monday, December 30.  I doubt it went out with Monday's mail, so it was not mailed until Tuesday for a post mark.  It takes two days minimum for local mail.  Don't know what time her appointment with the attorney is tomorrow, but she may not have the check.

I told her to ask the attorney what she needs to do.  I'm not the executor but I think she needs a tax ID number to open the account.  I'm not educating myself on her duties.  I've already done her duties to this point and she can finish it out.

I just need a copy of the death certificate to mail places.  

I'm hoping the fact that she has an appointment means whatever needed to happen with the attorney who wrote the will has done his thing and the notices can go in the paper, etc. that the attorney says has to be done so we can get our money in 4 to 6 months.

She needs to cool her jets.

She needs to be appointed executor by a court first before anything can happen.   Right now, she's only the named executor. 

[busymom]

swamp is correct.  When I was executor of my Mom's estate, and there was a lot of waiting involved.  The court needs to officially appoint your sister as executor.  And, you are correct that a tax ID number needs to be set up.  It's a process.  It won't get done in a week, or in a month.  

Just so you know, after my own Mom passed on, it was over a year later before we could sell her house.  Then, I left the estate open for about a year, in case any new bills or refunds showed up.  You'll love this--she got a small refund check from one of her utility companies AFTER she had been dead over 4 years!  (Dumbasses!)  I refused to reopen her estate, just to collect less than $30, but it definitely made me mad.  Like, WTE have they been doing with money they knew she was owed all of this time?  

[TheOtherMe]

No house to sell, thankfully.  That was probably the best thing about mom and dad moving here.

His assets are money in the bank (two accounts joint with sister and me), IRA, life insurance and the money from the living facility.  

From my work with rep payees, I know the money in the personal account at the nursing home should come back to us and I think they owe us for the days in December that were paid but he had died.  

I will call on those if I have to but I doubt they will talk to me since she used the financial POA to sign the documents for admission.

Sister said the attorney told her 4 to 6 months before the estate funds can be distributed. 

Life insurance claim will be made as soon as death certificate arrives (not much but it's not going to sit somewhere and not be claimed)  I've made the claim.  They need the death certificate and I can submit through portal.  

Attorney she went to supposedly told her we can't even get the IRA funds and we are named beneficiary.  

[moneysquirrel]

TheOtherMe -- Continue to take care of yourself.  Your sister will have to learn that just because she wants something on a certain timetable that the real world has its own timetable and hers will have to wait.  She must learn patience which I believe will be very difficult for her.  The powers that be are not her 4-yr old students and will not jump to do her bidding and neither should you,

[CCL]

When my mom died it took about 3 months to get the IRA funds. That was relatively quick and simple.

[TheOtherMe]

The life insurance will be the easiest. We will see if it’s the quickest

[Value Buy]

Jan 3, 2020 15:49:30 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

No house to sell, thankfully.  That was probably the best thing about mom and dad moving here.

His assets are money in the bank (two accounts joint with sister and me), IRA, life insurance and the money from the living facility.  

From my work with rep payees, I know the money in the personal account at the nursing home should come back to us and I think they owe us for the days in December that were paid but he had died.  

I will call on those if I have to but I doubt they will talk to me since she used the financial POA to sign the documents for admission.

Sister said the attorney told her 4 to 6 months before the estate funds can be distributed. 

Life insurance claim will be made as soon as death certificate arrives (not much but it's not going to sit somewhere and not be claimed)  I've made the claim.  They need the death certificate and I can submit through portal.  

Attorney she went to supposedly told her we can't even get the IRA funds and we are named beneficiary.  

I am not a lawyer, and maybe swamp can chime in on the three bolded statements.
My question is what is the state minimum dollar wise to open an estate? It really sounds like he does not have that much monetarily and I do not know an estate has to be opened, based on the state requirements where your father lived.

1, The IRA should have named beneficiaries. Do they? With death certificates in hand it is easy to transfer the proceeds to the beneficiaries. You should be able to do this at this time. My sister was a beneficiary on my father's life insurance policy and if I remember correctly she had no trouble getting the monies, before the estate was closed.
2. again, not sure if an estate has to be opened if all monies are assigned named beneficiaries and the dollar amount is not a very large number.
3. I think your father's attorney is wrong on this. We had no problem with my wife's mother's Ira's distributing the funds to named beneficiaries (my father never had one, so on my side of the family, this did not apply.) Only problem might be if he did not specify percentage of funds going to the beneficiaries, but any decent lawyer or IRA company would make sure the percentages are listed in the document. All you need is the death certificate  Does it take time and effort to get it? Yes, and there is always questions thrown at you by the banking institution before distribution, slowing the process up.

Again, maybe swamp could clear this up for both of us.

[finnime]

I think Value Buy is right.

When my mother died she left an IRA to be split among the 5 of us - we were all beneficiaries. All it took to do it was the death certificate and opening an account to roll the money to. A special IRA-BDA was needed because RMD's needed to start for each us, due to the special handling of inherited pre-tax IRA money.

[TheOtherMe]

There is a reason an estate has to be opened.  It's due to a specific clause in the will. 

My reading of state law is that it is considered a small estate and there are not as many hoops to go through.

Do you think a bank is going to cash a check for $85K made out to the Estate of .......   They won't and that is one of the monies that is in the small estate.

I agree on IRA with named beneficiaries but bank wanted paperwork that sister is the executor.  Not sure why.

I am calling the attorney with my questions next week since sister doesn't keep me informed and I have questions as to why the joint accounts and the IRA and life insurance with named beneficiaries can't be distributed once death certificate arrives.

My sister and I are to each receive 50% of IRA and 50% of life insurance.  

swamp   Does it make sense that joint bank account monies can not be distributed once death certificate arrives?

[TheOtherMe]

What I read online says the joint bank accounts is a "poor man's estate".  That was the reason the joint bank accounts were set up--to get them out of the estate.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Jan 4, 2020 11:53:57 GMT -5 finnime said:

I think Value Buy is right.

When my mother died she left an IRA to be split among the 5 of us - we were all beneficiaries. All it took to do it was the death certificate and opening an account to roll the money to. A special IRA-BDA was needed because RMD's needed to start for each us, due to the special handling of inherited pre-tax IRA money.

My parent's financial guy had them put beneficiaries on everything they could, to make settling their estate easier when the time comes.  I'm told he was quite adamant about it.  But I've never had to settle an estate or been closely involved in one.  I just get small mementos from those who are handling it.