jerseygirl
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Post by jerseygirl on Jul 30, 2024 12:28:34 GMT -5
I think someone should be there with her the first week home, to ease the transition. OB is arguing either she’s able to live on her own or she isn’t, give or take a couple of days’ support…which, yeah but also right now she can just about stand up and hold on to a walker with encouragement and support, and it sounds like she’s liable to be released in another ten days or so. Wound takes about 3 weeks to heal, bone takes at least 6, sounds like a hip replacement can take 3 months. Really I think he just doesn’t want to have to change his scheduled side trip. Guess I’ll look at flights… Usually the hospital will release to rehab not home after hip surgery Thought you had a place in mind?
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lurkyloo
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Post by lurkyloo on Jul 30, 2024 13:29:57 GMT -5
I think someone should be there with her the first week home, to ease the transition. OB is arguing either she’s able to live on her own or she isn’t, give or take a couple of days’ support…which, yeah but also right now she can just about stand up and hold on to a walker with encouragement and support, and it sounds like she’s liable to be released in another ten days or so. Wound takes about 3 weeks to heal, bone takes at least 6, sounds like a hip replacement can take 3 months. Really I think he just doesn’t want to have to change his scheduled side trip. Guess I’ll look at flights… Usually the hospital will release to rehab not home after hip surgery Thought you had a place in mind? Yes, she is in rehab getting PT now. She’s likely to be released to home about the time OB has planned to go on a side trip. She is one week post-hip replacement right now and has been in rehab about 4 days. I don’t think she’s going to be up to full speed at that point, or able to drive herself. Her house is in a car dependent neighborhood. I think we can put in ramps to the back door if she’s not able to manage the 4 or so total steps on the side door she usually uses.
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Sharon
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Post by Sharon on Jul 30, 2024 14:30:51 GMT -5
Usually the hospital will release to rehab not home after hip surgery Thought you had a place in mind? Yes, she is in rehab getting PT now. She’s likely to be released to home about the time OB has planned to go on a side trip. She is one week post-hip replacement right now and has been in rehab about 4 days. I don’t think she’s going to be up to full speed at that point, or able to drive herself. Her house is in a car dependent neighborhood. I think we can put in ramps to the back door if she’s not able to manage the 4 or so total steps on the side door she usually uses. When Mom had her hip replacement we told the rehab place she had steps that she would have to navigate and they made that part of the rehab. They had a set of about three steps and you could climb up one side and then go down the other. They also had a refrigerator filled with random stuff and Mom had to pick some things out and show them that she could cook a simple meal. She made some scrambled eggs and a piece of toast and they passed her on that.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jul 30, 2024 15:11:09 GMT -5
Way back in 1999, when I spent 28 days in the hospital, when I was nearing going home, rehab worked with me on steps and showers (I had to get in the tub).
I lived in a 2nd floor condo. They worked with me on building endurance to get up the steps. I doubt this is applicable in this case, but they also taught me how to get up if I fell down.
In subsequent years, I have fallen down and usually been able to get myself up using the methods they taught me.
They arranged Meals on Wheels and to have a grab bar installed in my bathtub.
I have no idea if any of these services exist in your area.
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Jul 31, 2024 9:01:18 GMT -5
Usually the hospital will release to rehab not home after hip surgery Thought you had a place in mind? Yes, she is in rehab getting PT now. She’s likely to be released to home about the time OB has planned to go on a side trip. She is one week post-hip replacement right now and has been in rehab about 4 days. I don’t think she’s going to be up to full speed at that point, or able to drive herself. Her house is in a car dependent neighborhood. I think we can put in ramps to the back door if she’s not able to manage the 4 or so total steps on the side door she usually uses. I've lost track of how old your mother is? I'm almost 63 and am four months post total knee replacement surgery. TKN is generally harder than hip but I was fairly active before it. They sent me home the day of surgery (common now) but it was weeks before I could drive. With your brother on vacation can a home heath aide be hired for a few hours for a week or so? These events never conveniently happen and life goes on. Doing a reasonable (vs perfect) job is success!
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jerseygirl
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Post by jerseygirl on Jul 31, 2024 9:51:13 GMT -5
Check if Medicare will cover some time to help your mom. If she needs help dressing, bathing usually that will be covered for a few hours/week Of course depends on how well she recovered in rehab
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lurkyloo
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Post by lurkyloo on Aug 1, 2024 8:50:13 GMT -5
Yes, she is in rehab getting PT now. She’s likely to be released to home about the time OB has planned to go on a side trip. She is one week post-hip replacement right now and has been in rehab about 4 days. I don’t think she’s going to be up to full speed at that point, or able to drive herself. Her house is in a car dependent neighborhood. I think we can put in ramps to the back door if she’s not able to manage the 4 or so total steps on the side door she usually uses. I've lost track of how old your mother is? I'm almost 63 and am four months post total knee replacement surgery. TKN is generally harder than hip but I was fairly active before it. They sent me home the day of surgery (common now) but it was weeks before I could drive. With your brother on vacation can a home heath aide be hired for a few hours for a week or so? These events never conveniently happen and life goes on. Doing a reasonable (vs perfect) job is success! She’s 82. She’s in fairly good shape for her age and is recovering pretty well I think, but obviously mobility will be limited for a while. We are absolutely hiring an aide to come by several times a week, OB is working on setting that up now, and I expect there will be in home PT for a while. My concern is that it’s a lot of big changes all at once and it takes her time to process things. I think she’ll do better with someone there to support her through it. TheOtherMe She lives in a booming university town so I assume pretty much everything is available Grab bars are definitely a good idea. She doesn’t need meals on wheels at this point though. The bigger problem is that she’s got hoarding tendencies and is super sensitive about them.
I’m looking at replacing her fridge right now, with the added bonus that it gives us a good excuse to throw away a lot of stuff that she was never gonna eat Bottom freezer drawer, white, counter depth, need quick delivery so I’ve got about two realistic options.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 1, 2024 8:59:13 GMT -5
The hoarding thing is hard. We never have figured out where all the cans of beets came from in my grandma's kitchen. Dad said he isn't even sure she liked beets! I was starting to think the house was manifesting them to screw with us.
The chicken in the basement freezer from when I graduated college was a fun one at GU's house. Thank God power never went out.
My dad found near exploding cans of tuna in the kitchen of GU's house. Botulism anyone?
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lurkyloo
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Post by lurkyloo on Aug 1, 2024 9:17:27 GMT -5
The hoarding thing is hard. We never have figured out where all the cans of beets came from in my grandma's kitchen. Dad said he isn't even sure she liked beets! I was starting to think the house was manifesting them to screw with us. The chicken in the basement freezer from when I graduated college was a fun one at GU's house. Thank God power never went out. My dad found near exploding cans of tuna in the kitchen of GU's house. Botulism anyone? That makes me feel better. She’s not quite that bad on food mostly…I think Depression era parents so she never throws anything away Bigger issue is that she likes to use the stairs to the upper floor as storage, which is not going to fly with the home inspection before they approve her to be released. She also has some stacks of paper/books etc on the floor. OB is going to try to hire an organizer.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Aug 1, 2024 9:37:32 GMT -5
Life during the Depression was so hard that it seems a high percentage of them hoard, especially food.
I was in Boulder when I had that surgery. I was hiring college kids to drive me to doctor's appointments because all of my friends worked and I had a ton of appointments. No Uber, etc. in 1999.
I could have used that then
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 1, 2024 9:53:59 GMT -5
The hoarding thing is hard. We never have figured out where all the cans of beets came from in my grandma's kitchen. Dad said he isn't even sure she liked beets! I was starting to think the house was manifesting them to screw with us. The chicken in the basement freezer from when I graduated college was a fun one at GU's house. Thank God power never went out. My dad found near exploding cans of tuna in the kitchen of GU's house. Botulism anyone? That makes me feel better. She’s not quite that bad on food mostly…I think Depression era parents so she never throws anything away Bigger issue is that she likes to use the stairs to the upper floor as storage, which is not going to fly with the home inspection before they approve her to be released. She also has some stacks of paper/books etc on the floor. OB is going to try to hire an organizer. GU and my grandmother grew up in poverty so that's where there attitude comes from too. GU somewhere along the line crossed over into A&E level hoarder. We could barely get in his office there was so much paperwork everywhere and that was AFTER my dad started shoveling it out. My grandmother had her glassware collection but it was all nicely organized. I am not going to penalize an old person for having things that bring them joy and demand they get rid of them so I don't have to deal with it later. I always get sad seeing a large collection of X at the thrift store because I know that that likely means. The part of it that amuses/annoys me is how they keep insisting so much of it is valuable and they are leaving us behind a treasure trove. You have any idea how many of those Norman Rockwell old people figurines I've seen at the thrift store in the past six months? Antique stores are practically begging people to take their glassware stock. That's why I joke with Gwen about not fighting with her sister over my beanie baby collection. Grandma had uranium glass. I got beanie babies and Pokemon cards.
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lurkyloo
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Post by lurkyloo on Aug 1, 2024 11:38:49 GMT -5
That makes me feel better. She’s not quite that bad on food mostly…I think Depression era parents so she never throws anything away Bigger issue is that she likes to use the stairs to the upper floor as storage, which is not going to fly with the home inspection before they approve her to be released. She also has some stacks of paper/books etc on the floor. OB is going to try to hire an organizer. GU and my grandmother grew up in poverty so that's where there attitude comes from too. GU somewhere along the line crossed over into A&E level hoarder. We could barely get in his office there was so much paperwork everywhere and that was AFTER my dad started shoveling it out. My grandmother had her glassware collection but it was all nicely organized. I am not going to penalize an old person for having things that bring them joy and demand they get rid of them so I don't have to deal with it later. I always get sad seeing a large collection of X at the thrift store because I know that that likely means. The part of it that amuses/annoys me is how they keep insisting so much of it is valuable and they are leaving us behind a treasure trove. You have any idea how many of those Norman Rockwell old people figurines I've seen at the thrift store in the past six months? Antique stores are practically begging people to take their glassware stock. That's why I joke with Gwen about not fighting with her sister over my beanie baby collection. Grandma had uranium glass. I got beanie babies and Pokemon cards. I was joking with BFF the other day I should price out my damn near complete collection of Strawberry Shortcake figures, that my mother insisted would be worth something someday I’m sure those are buried in the house or garage somewhere, and I just saw a SS crop top at Target the other day
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Aug 1, 2024 13:41:19 GMT -5
Mom had her bell collection and her Barbie Doll collection. Both would bring big money for my sister and me.
Her smoking had destroyed the Barbie dolls. I kept a couple of bells I had given her that meant something to me and my sister did the same. The one I kept was one I bought at Buckinham Palace. Mom loved it for many years and now it's my turn.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 1, 2024 13:54:34 GMT -5
The Barbie market is really getting flooded too. There are still older ones that can fetch money but all those Holiday Barbies collected through the 80s-90s? Nope. I did get pissed off that my grandma tossed my Barbie Hot Dog Stand. I found out that with all the pieces, which I had, I could have gotten $200 for it. Apparently some of my My Little Ponies could have fetched some dough so long as I don't ask questions about what they are being collected for. Never saw that sub culture coming in a million years.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Aug 1, 2024 17:29:18 GMT -5
All of her Barbie's were in their original boxes and were the Holiday Barbies. They looked nice until we went to look at them. This was my sister and I. When we picked up the first box, it disinegrated with yellow smoke. So we opened it. The clothes were yellowed and the plastic had absorbed the smoke and was yellow and sticky.
We never told her but they went in my sister's burn pile.
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mollyanna58
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Post by mollyanna58 on Aug 1, 2024 21:37:08 GMT -5
My mother collected dolls, including Barbies and Madam Alexander. I sold a couple of Barbies for her on Ebay several years ago, including a Christy doll that went for over $100.00 to someone in England. Nobody wants the Madam Alexanders.
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jerseygirl
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Post by jerseygirl on Aug 1, 2024 22:12:16 GMT -5
Madam Alexander’s go for about $15 plus shipping on eBay Better to give to a small girl
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Aug 2, 2024 6:54:44 GMT -5
My mother was the anti-hoarder. DSis and I called her the expeller. After my father died I went into the attic with mom and she had me throw out the attic window piles of things that she'd long ago lost interest in, or never had any stake in. That pile wound up in the dumpster. She had us fill 3 altogether with Stuff of my father's and brothers' from the shed and cellar as well as the attic. She was born in 1932 in real poverty like most of the country.
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Aug 2, 2024 9:55:41 GMT -5
My grandmother had her glassware collection but it was all nicely organized. I am not going to penalize an old person for having things that bring them joy and demand they get rid of them so I don't have to deal with it later. I always get sad seeing a large collection of X at the thrift store because I know that that likely means. The part of it that amuses/annoys me is how they keep insisting so much of it is valuable and they are leaving us behind a treasure trove. You have any idea how many of those Norman Rockwell old people figurines I've seen at the thrift store in the past six months? Antique stores are practically begging people to take their glassware stock. That's why I joke with Gwen about not fighting with her sister over my beanie baby collection. Grandma had uranium glass. I got beanie babies and Pokemon cards. NomoreDrama, With the bolded part, I think you have the right attitude. These "collections" are valuable to them. The money is spent and it gave them joy. The problem is when EVERYTHING they own is valuable and the collections get out of hand. My dad's train collection and layout really cost my parents money. They actually added a second story to the family home so that my dad's collection would be moved out of the garage and upstairs. Mom wanted her fancy car to be parked in the garage vs baking in So. CA heat/ocean air. He could never get his act together to relocate the stuff and in fact started collecting "free stuff" from whenever a real estate office closed, i.e. 50s metal and laminated MDF desks, old TVs et cetera. Not only did they have the expense of an ugly addition, the cars were left to sit in the elements. And of course, the train set never operated. 60 years later I sold the train sets to Trainz. $1,200. Every time I think about it I hear his voice saying, You know Bonny, if you would sell this stuff on eBay you get a lot more. But I can't throw stones. I see hoarding tendencies with both DH and me. Working on it!
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lurkyloo
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Post by lurkyloo on Aug 2, 2024 10:45:30 GMT -5
My grandmother had her glassware collection but it was all nicely organized. I am not going to penalize an old person for having things that bring them joy and demand they get rid of them so I don't have to deal with it later. I always get sad seeing a large collection of X at the thrift store because I know that that likely means. The part of it that amuses/annoys me is how they keep insisting so much of it is valuable and they are leaving us behind a treasure trove. You have any idea how many of those Norman Rockwell old people figurines I've seen at the thrift store in the past six months? Antique stores are practically begging people to take their glassware stock. That's why I joke with Gwen about not fighting with her sister over my beanie baby collection. Grandma had uranium glass. I got beanie babies and Pokemon cards. NomoreDrama, With the bolded part, I think you have the right attitude. These "collections" are valuable to them. The money is spent and it gave them joy. The problem is when EVERYTHING they own is valuable and the collections get out of hand. My dad's train collection and layout really cost my parents money. They actually added a second story to the family home so that my dad's collection would be moved out of the garage and upstairs. Mom wanted her fancy car to be parked in the garage vs baking in So. CA heat/ocean air. He could never get his act together to relocate the stuff and in fact started collecting "free stuff" from whenever a real estate office closed, i.e. 50s metal and laminated MDF desks, old TVs et cetera. Not only did they have the expense of an ugly addition, the cars were left to sit in the elements. And of course, the train set never operated. 60 years later I sold the train sets to Trainz. $1,200. Every time I think about it I hear his voice saying, You know Bonny, if you would sell this stuff on eBay you get a lot more. But I can't throw stones. I see hoarding tendencies with both DH and me. Working on it! I am really prioritizing following my mother’s wishes, as we did for my dad. Up to the point she starts tripping on the hoarding piles and we have to step in, she can keep her Stuff because it is meaningful to her…and as long as she/we can afford aides and she is safe I’m happy for her to stay at her house. Not like a nursing home would be significantly cheaper. Good news, she was in the process of signing the POA documents when I signed off the call. OB tracked down an old will so we’ll have to get a copy from the lawyer so she can make sure it expresses her wishes. He is DPOA, I am hPOA but we agreed to leave my investment firm POA in place bc their corporate was having kittens at a non-US resident holding POA. He can override it any time by showing them the new DPOA but it’s convenient (and approved by the lawyer) not to. Bad news, OB is realizing the extent of his Pollyanna thinking. It will take time before she’s able to perform a lot of basic living tasks much less get back to normal, so the question is whether she goes into transitional AL at the current facility or we set up 24 h coverage at the house (currently needs help with the bathroom). I feel pretty strongly that she should have a family member there for the first week back at the house but the timing is going to be tricky.
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lurkyloo
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Post by lurkyloo on Aug 6, 2024 14:05:07 GMT -5
New fridge shows as delivered. OB got her bedroom emptied enough to get the carpet cleaned (necessary) but still needs to sort and organize. I recommended bankers boxes over a new bookshelf since there is already a crapload of furniture in that house…I’m willing to take a few sentimental pieces plus her genealogy records when the time comes, but that won’t make much of a dent.
Looks like probably a stay in respite care is indicated, because she’s having some bathroom issues still but we should find out more tomorrow. YB will go fix the broken glass in the door from the police breaking in today, and OB has the lady in charge of the aides coming over tomorrow to make recommendations. On the list: getting a handicapped placard for the car and a locksmith to put a (fingerprint) lock on the study door, since she’s going to have caregivers of various flavors in and out. May also want one of those toilet thingies that increase height/make it easier to get on and off.
My mother let me off the phone after only 25 min last night, which might be a record-ironically I’m a little worried what that says about her mood; she is really annoyed with OB for cleaning (meanwhile cleaning was pretty much the last thing he wanted to do but necessary and they’re both sick of each other…) She had her stitches out, wound is healing as it ought to. She has a stick shift car, so driving herself is going to take longer than she’d want it to. Six weeks for bone to heal post surgery, then another six for muscles and ligaments to tighten and strengthen.
I’ll wait to see if I need to make an emergency trip out if she’s released to home. Unlikely, but I probably would only get 2-3 days’ notice so best to be prepared I guess.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Aug 6, 2024 15:00:59 GMT -5
The police broke in to your mother's house?
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lurkyloo
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Post by lurkyloo on Aug 6, 2024 15:07:34 GMT -5
The police broke in to your mother's house? OB called in a welfare check from Europe a little over two weeks ago when she wasn’t responding to his calls. Police went by, got no response to knocking, and broke in to check on her. She’d fallen, broken her hip, and been unable to call for help. That’s where the current saga started.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Aug 6, 2024 15:50:54 GMT -5
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Aug 7, 2024 9:52:25 GMT -5
We moved my mom to assisted living on Monday. It went well, but mom's friend read me the riot act on Monday that we were doing the wrong thing and should keep my mom living in her home. She kept talking to me for a good 20 minutes or more. She also pretty much asked me who had POA responsibilities. I did not answer her question. My DB told me not to tell her anything more. After the move, I was back at the house to pick up a few things, and my brother stopped in to cut the grass. I mentioned to him that G had given me such a hard time, and she has a key to the house. I told him, she would never steal anything, but she might take mom stuff we don't want her to have. Well my DB is on it, and he changed the locks sometime yesterday. On my way home from work my mom's friend N called me and told me she had called my mom yesterday and mom told her she had been there once 3 years before and that she was going home on Friday. ?? mom has never been in assisted living before. She also said the G is a trouble maker, and then said she had to go b/c her son had just arrived. I told her DB changed the locks and she said good. She said She thought we had done the right thing moving mom to asssited livng.
DB was also at the AL place yesterday to check on the cable situation (it is not working right, tech was supposed to come out, but they did not come out, and the Administrator was off yesterday, and no one knew what was going on). DB had texted me that he thought mom thought she was at a convention staying in a hotel room. I am going to call the Administrator J and tell her of the concern with G. She either needs to not let mom leave with G or make G promise she will bring mom back. I told DS and DB she is so religious; I don't think she could bring herself to lie.
I ordered a Do not resuscitate bracelet for mom yesterday. The administrator had the Dr sign off on it, and I had to sign as HCPOA. There is only one authorized place to order it from and it was $36.00. I also have to find some curtains and a rod. DB is going to install it. There are nice blinds, but I told DB mom has never had blinds and will never remember how to work them.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 7, 2024 9:57:25 GMT -5
Tell G that is awesome is she volunteering to care for your mom (for free of course since it's the right thing to do!) so she can stay in the house? That usually shuts people up. Grandma always thinks she is going home any day now. I told dad I can somewhat see where she is coming from nursing home rooms do look a lot like hospital rooms and there isn't a lot of ways to mark the time. I play along because I don't want to be read the riot act about selling her house out from under her. I ALMOST made it out of the room before the nurse corrected her and told her that her house was being sold for her care. Thanks thanks a lot. I get the nurse was well meaning but man she made my life 20x harder in that split second.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Aug 7, 2024 10:08:39 GMT -5
Tell G that is awesome is she volunteering to care for your mom (for free of course since it's the right thing to do!) so she can stay in the house? That usually shuts people up. Grandma always thinks she is going home any day now. I told dad I can somewhat see where she is coming from nursing home rooms do look a lot like hospital rooms and there isn't a lot of ways to mark the time. I play along because I don't want to be read the riot act about selling her house out from under her. I ALMOST made it out of the room before the nurse corrected her and told her that her house was being sold for her care. Thanks thanks a lot. I get the nurse was well meaning but man she made my life 20x harder in that split second. Cripes you would think a nurse in a AL facility would know better. G has been going over to moms every day for the last two weeks to make sure mom gets her meds, since the last time I talked to her and told her we would be moving mom to AL soon. She objected then and offered to come every day and make sure mom got her meds. That was just before I got Covid and kept away for 2 weeks. She also took mom to the store and took her for a perm on Sat. It is very nice that she is doing all this, but she is the same age range as mom and DB thinks she is not a very good driver anymore, so mom should not really be going places with her anyways.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Aug 7, 2024 12:25:51 GMT -5
We moved my mom to assisted living on Monday. It went well, but mom's friend read me the riot act on Monday that we were doing the wrong thing and should keep my mom living in her home. She kept talking to me for a good 20 minutes or more. She also pretty much asked me who had POA responsibilities. I did not answer her question. My DB told me not to tell her anything more. After the move, I was back at the house to pick up a few things, and my brother stopped in to cut the grass. I mentioned to him that G had given me such a hard time, and she has a key to the house. I told him, she would never steal anything, but she might take mom stuff we don't want her to have. Well my DB is on it, and he changed the locks sometime yesterday. On my way home from work my mom's friend N called me and told me she had called my mom yesterday and mom told her she had been there once 3 years before and that she was going home on Friday. ?? mom has never been in assisted living before. She also said the G is a trouble maker, and then said she had to go b/c her son had just arrived. I told her DB changed the locks and she said good. She said She thought we had done the right thing moving mom to asssited livng. Now G may be a trouble maker that is true. But I also read something else here and it is not something you can or need to "fix". From all you have told here I suspect that G is not just trying to protect your mom (in her mind) but she too is not all that young anymore and she is trying to protect her own life: the friend she has close by, her need to be needed is diminished. While decisions made for and on your mom's behalf absolutely have to be for her benefit and her benefit only that does not mean that others are not affected by them and their reactions*, while difficult and at times possibly painful in that they may make you doubt yourself, do not automatically make them trouble makers. There is that " village" it takes to raise a child but that same "village" often abandons the elderly. *I am obviously only talking about people here who don't have any plans, future or active, to defraud the elderly person.
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finnime
Junior Associate
Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 7:14:35 GMT -5
Posts: 7,916
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Post by finnime on Aug 7, 2024 13:48:57 GMT -5
DD is working at a SNF and commented that the patients typically had DNR's and DNI's. DNI=Do Not Intubate. Something to keep in mind as people transition.
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TheOtherMe
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 14:40:52 GMT -5
Posts: 27,948
Mini-Profile Name Color: e619e6
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Post by TheOtherMe on Aug 7, 2024 15:11:16 GMT -5
bean29 Please read this blog elaineeshbaugh.org/ It's called When Dementia Knocks This weeks topic was You are a good person, caregiver. She is trying to support both the person with dementia and the caregiver. This week's topic is about guilt and that you are doing the best you can and should try not to feel guilty. Both of my aunts that were in facilities for dementia thought they were going home next week. Can you give the facility a list of people who are allowed to take you mother out of the facility and not include G on the list. IMO, only family should be taking the patient out of the facility at this point. From what you said about your mother, it was time for her to no longer be in her home alone.
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