I'm having my new son circumcised

[patchwork150]

this is unlike me to share TMI, but here we go : )

I have been married for 5 years now (I am 23). My DH is uncut. Now, I am not going to pretend to have enough experience to say much about the differences between uncut and cut from a female's perspective. My DH was my only serious boyfriend.

I hate to stir the pot, but I am just going to say it anyways: Perhaps for a woman who is with different men frequently, this becomes an issue of preference. However, a husband is more than his private parts. I think that a woman would love all of her husband, including his privates- cut or uncut. So, really this issue should not matter socially. 'I want my son to look like everyone else', 'what will his first girlfriend say', etc. Honestly, if having or not having foreskin is a dealbreaker for a girl, she's too shallow anyways! I guess it's comparable to the women I have met that only prefer large sizes. It's kind of ridiculous!

As for my husband, he is very hygenic, and I have absolutely no complaints in the bedroom.

If I ever have a son, it is the DH's decision- and he has already told me he will decide not to cut, and I agree 100%.

p.s.- as for personal hygeine, the DH will be teaching my son no matter what ANYWAYS. lol.

[twinmama85]

I was never with my different men "frequently" but my serious ex bf was uncut and my husband is cut and i prefer it that way, just my preference. that and i have heard that if its not kept clean properly then it can get a little...gooey??

[patchwork150]

I guess what I meant is- you would love your husband, cut or uncut. I can't speak to the grody, gooey aspect since my DH is very clean. But, I think if it gets grody uncut, it wouldn't be that clean cut either. Personal hygine is personal hygine, right? My DH doesn't have to do anything 'special' (except maybe pull the skin back, but it's not that difficult!) He showers every day, and suds up everywhere- like anyone should. I know, I've showered with him frequently.

I guess the end of my whole point is- as long as your man has good hygine, it doesn't matter much either way. If you only have one partner, you'll get used to and learn together whatever he may have.

[998fbird]

I know that this thread hasn't had any posts for awhile, but in reviewing WIR I saw this and wanted to insert MO (I'm rarely humble, but I am trying). My son was born in 1985 and I was adamant about NOT having him circumcised, and over the years I have truly regretted the decision. And the reason really is health connected, not aesthetic. Even though you hear very little about HIV/AIDS in the news media anymore it is still out there and circumcision is one of the best ways to prevent the contraction/spread of this disease. So until there is a reliable vaccine for HIV I would recommend that the parents of male babies strongly consider this procedure.

[Deleted]

In a few weeks I find out if I am having a boy or a girl. If it is a boy, this issue will really hit home for me.

[Deleted]

Mar 30, 2011 7:30:47 GMT -5 Lady Gaga Gaga Snerd said:

Archie - I would recommend you really consider this and not just do so because that is the way it always was.

I agree.

I was surprised that a friend of mine had a boy and he was circumsized even though his dad is not.

[rmtvbrooks]

My son is adopted through the foster care system; he has major developmental delays. He came to live with us at age 7, and he was uncircumcised. I didn't think anything about it until the day he told me, "My wee-wee hurts!" I had him lie down and pull the skin back. He only got a tiny ways back before he started screaming and wouldn't pull it back any further. I called the pediatrician (he needed it looked at, plus I wanted documentation since he was a foster child at the time). The doctor said that he was not pulling the skin back when he peed, and urine was getting trapped in there. Urine is very acidic, so his penis was extremely red and raw from the acid in the urine. The doctor gave us some antibiotic ointment that we had to put on for several days. The screaming and crying at just putting on the ointment was agony for both of us. This happened several more times over the next 3 years. Once the adoption was final, we sought out a urologist about having a circumcision done. He said he usually won't do it at age 10 unless there is a medical reason, and he felt the issues DS was having made it worth doing. DS cried a little when he was first waking up from anesthesia, but within 45 minutes, he was sitting up scarfing down cereal. The whole thing was far less painful for him than the horrible skin irritations he got from trapped urine. So, yes, hygiene CAN be an issue. I'm not saying everyone should just automatically do it, but understand that there ARE times when it IS medically necessary.

[mizbear]

rmtv- As someone who spent time in the foster care system- Thank you for being a responsible foster parent! So many foster parents would have wigged out at such a situation.

I will keep my opinions on this subject to myself since it is a TMI situation.

[Deleted]

Ok, so I need to think about this again, more seriously this time.

My wife's preference is to circumcise, but she is leaving the decision up to me because I am more familiar with the equipment. I can't decide. We haven't talked to the pediatrician, yet, which is something I definitely want to do before making the final call.


So has anyone changed their minds one way or the other in the last couple of years?

[Deleted]

If I were making the decision today I would not circumcise. 

[Shooby]

My sons were. But, if I had a do over, I would not. I don't see the point. I can understand doing it for religious reasons but other than that, I don't think it is necessary.

[Deleted]

I also told DH he could have final say since he has the equipment, but I wouldn't change my mind about having it done. 


I code older gentlemen (over 80) having circumcisions at least weekly. IDK if they're in homes and the caretakers aren't cleaning them properly or not. I think I'd rather have it done when I am too young to remember getting cut than due to experiencing recurrent, painful infections.


That is IMO, as a woman, so take it for what it's worth.

[Shooby]

I personally think the health risks of not circumcising are way overblown. And, it is a lucrative practice for doctors. We don't approach our bodies in this way for anything else. We don't lop off normal body parts just because something "might" happen. The only comparable issue is elective mastectomy. But, this is only done for someone who has a very high risk, not for the entire population.

[Deleted]

Mar 25, 2014 8:25:48 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Ok, so I need to think about this again, more seriously this time.

My wife's preference is to circumcise, but she is leaving the decision up to me because I am more familiar with the equipment. I can't decide. We haven't talked to the pediatrician, yet, which is something I definitely want to do before making the final call.


So has anyone changed their minds one way or the other in the last couple of years?

I did it with both of my sons and haven't regretted it.  I have always heard that if you don't get it, you have an increased risk for STD infection and urinary tract infection...also increased risk from a hygiene perspective.  

Up until the last 6 months, I honestly didn't know anyone that didn't get it.  Nor did I hear anyone say "I really wished I didn't circumcise my son".  It's something they do and then you just don't think about again.

Now that "all natural" is making a comeback, I've read some people say that it's not necessary and it's a tradition that people continue unnecessarily.  I don't know....medical doctors say there is a benefit and I've never really heard of any stories of a downside.  I say do it....without question.  

[raeoflyte]

The western medical world is so weird about circumcision.  You have to be your kids advocate and know that medical professionals are still operating with a lot of bias.  For us it came down to not making permanent decisions about another persons body for aesthetic reasons.  I'm sure that getting circumcised as an adult hurts, but its not going to keep him out of work for weeks to heal or really be any big deal.  He can make that decision for himself when/if he chooses to.  

[Deleted]

Actually medical doctors don't say there is a benefit here in a first world country. It is no longer recommended by the American Pediatrics association. The studies that show decrease risk of disease, etc. are done in third world countries where there is less access to water/etc. ie. where hygiene is an issue. 

I'm with shoob... we don't say, why clean it, we'll just cut it off, to any other part of the body. ... and i am very much a mother who regrets circumcising my son and wish i had never thought i had the power to make that kind of decision for anyone else's body. 

[Deleted]

Mar 25, 2014 9:37:21 GMT -5 oped said:

Actually medical doctors don't say there is a benefit here in a first world country. It is no longer recommended by the American Pediatrics association. The studies that show decrease risk of disease, etc. are done in third world countries where there is less access to water/etc. ie. where hygiene is an issue. 

I'm with shoob... we don't say, why clean it, we'll just cut it off, to any other part of the body. ... and i am very much a mother who regrets circumcising my son and wish i had never thought i had the power to make that kind of decision for anyone else's body. 

I just looked up what you're talking about.  They still say the benefits outweigh the risk, but not enough to recommend universally.  

the American Academy of Pediatrics found the health benefits of newborn male circumcision outweigh the risks, but the benefits are not great enough to recommend universal newborn circumcision.

I don't know, still sounds like they are recommending it to me.  Kinda like when a doctor recommends that you have a child sleep on their back.  All they can do is prevent the evidence of a lower rate of SIDS, but it's not like they can make you do it.  Same thing here.

[Deleted]

The actual statement is this: Existing scientific evidence demonstrates potential medical benefits of newborn male circumcision; however, these data are not sufficient to recommend routine neonatal circumcision. In the case of circumcision, in which there are potential benefits and risks, yet the procedure is not essential to the child's current well-being, parents should determine what is in the best interest of the child.

Notice the word POTENTIAL and NOT SUFFICIENT. These are scientific words to say, hey, it sounds like it could be good, but the statistics don't really back it up...

Actually, their write up is probably a good place to start pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/103/3/686.full

Please note how often they say that the data is complex/ conflicting/ difficult to evaluate... 

Also note any study which is not completed in a first world country. 

[Deleted]

Mar 25, 2014 9:57:33 GMT -5 oped said:

The actual statement is this: Existing scientific evidence demonstrates potential medical benefits of newborn male circumcision; however, these data are not sufficient to recommend routine neonatal circumcision. In the case of circumcision, in which there are potential benefits and risks, yet the procedure is not essential to the child's current well-being, parents should determine what is in the best interest of the child.

Notice the word POTENTIAL and NOT SUFFICIENT. These are scientific words to say, hey, it sounds like it could be good, but the statistics don't really back it up...

Actually, their write up is probably a good place to start pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/103/3/686.full

Please note how often they say that the data is complex/ conflicting/ difficult to evaluate... 

Also note any study which is not completed in a first world country. 

I think the key word there is "routine".  In other words, if you gave the doctor the old "Would you do it if it were your kid?", they would say yes.  But it's not overwhelming enough to recommend across the board.  

Like I said, as a 36 year old circumscribed male, I guess I'm glad my parents did it when I was an infant.  

[whoisjohngalt]

oh noooo, not this discussion on YM too...my entire "mommy" world is "discussing" this issue to death.

[Deleted]

Mar 25, 2014 10:25:06 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

oh noooo, not this discussion on YM too...my entire "mommy" world is "discussing" this issue to death.

Is this an instance where a male can pull out the old "Oh, a woman is telling me what's best for my body    "

[Deleted]

But what you are suggesting when you say "I say do it... without question"... is that is should be routine. 

I don't care if Archie circumcises or not. I can only say what i would do given the choice today... but I do not in any way think it should be a 'no-brainer' routine. 

I agree with the idea of the APA that "To make an informed choice, parents of all male infants should be given accurate and unbiased information and be provided the opportunity to discuss this decision."

By the way Arch, congrats on the boy!  

[bean29]

Well in 1993 when DS was born we opted not to have him circumcised.  he now wishes he was circumcised.  I started to check on it a few years ago, and I don't think it is covered by insurance as an adult and it is a few thousand to get it done as an adult.

I think I may hit the deductible this year so mayble I will send him to a urologist to check on it.  Maybe I will tell him to claim it is sore/infected so it is more likely to be considered medically necessary.

Why are circumcised males less likely to contract aids?  It dosn't make sense, so if anyone has an explantion I would like to hear it.

[whoisjohngalt]

Mar 25, 2014 10:31:04 GMT -5 @davebo said:

Mar 25, 2014 10:25:06 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

oh noooo, not this discussion on YM too...my entire "mommy" world is "discussing" this issue to death.

Is this an instance where a male can pull out the old "Oh, a woman is telling me what's best for my body    "

wait, what

if your new born is talking to you about his body, circumcision should be the last thing on your mind

[whoisjohngalt]

Mar 25, 2014 10:32:18 GMT -5 bean29 said:

Well in 1993 when DS was born we opted not to have him circumcised.  he now wishes he was circumcised.  I started to check on it a few years ago, and I don't think it is covered by insurance as an adult and it is a few thousand to get it done as an adult.

I think I may hit the deductible this year so mayble I will send him to a urologist to check on it.  Maybe I will tell him to claim it is sore/infected so it is more likely to be considered medically necessary.

Why are circumcised males less likely to contract aids?  It dosn't make sense, so if anyone has an explantion I would like to hear it.

If he is that serious about it, he might want to look for a non-orthodox moel.  They charge around $600-$800

[Wisconsin Beth]

I'm another one who left it up to DH.  I have no idea how much thought he put into it but he opted to have DS circumcised but I was happy to make it his decision. 

[Deleted]

Mar 25, 2014 10:32:18 GMT -5 bean29 said:

Why are circumcised males less likely to contract aids?  It dosn't make sense, so if anyone has an explantion I would like to hear it.

From: science.howstuffworks.com/environmental/life/cellular-microscopic/circum-aids.htm

First, the foreskin is delicate and very susceptible to tears during intercourse. This provides an easy entry point for the AIDS virus, which creeps in through the torn blood vessels. But the bigger issue is the high concentration of a type of white blood cell in the foreskin. Langerhans cells are present in the foreskin, and especially in the underside of the foreskin, in very high concentrations. These cells are "sentinel cells" of the immune system. Located in the skin, they are some of the first to detect and pick up an antigen for processing. An antigen is a foreign substance that triggers an immune response when it gets in the body. A virus, such as HIV, contains antigens.

Because there are so many Langerhans cells in the foreskin, and because these particular cells seem to be excellent at binding to HIV antigens, when the foreskin tears during sex with an HIV-infected woman, there is a very good chance that those blood cells are going to contact and bind to the virus. Langerhans cells are supposed to trigger the immune system's antibody response that fights off the virus; but once HIV gets in, the immune system can't seem to fight it effectively. Once the foreskin is removed, the increased risk of blood exposure and the higher concentration of HIV-receptors in that blood disappears.

[gooddecisions]

Mar 25, 2014 8:25:48 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Ok, so I need to think about this again, more seriously this time.

My wife's preference is to circumcise, but she is leaving the decision up to me because I am more familiar with the equipment. I can't decide. We haven't talked to the pediatrician, yet, which is something I definitely want to do before making the final call.


So has anyone changed their minds one way or the other in the last couple of years?

I'm glad to see you are giving it some serious thought. We don't have a boy, but if we did I would not be comfortable with circumcision because I have read a lot on it. Regardless, I think it's a decision that should be made by both parents and ideally by the boy. So, I asked my circed husband what he thought. I listed out the argument for every reason to do it and the counter-arguments and he agreed all of the reasons seemed easily debunked. (BTW, condoms are the best way to avoid the spread of HIV, not circ. I'm surprised somebody would post such a thing). But, I did not want to influence him so I encouraged him to read up on his own. He concluded we should not circ. It is painful whether you do it as a newborn or as a young adult, but the difference is a young adult can choose for himself and may never need or want to have it done at all.

The closest I can compare is my ears. My dad really wanted my ears sewn back as a baby. They stuck out and having them cut and sewn back early would mean I would not remember the pain. My mom refused not wanting to put me through that pain as a baby (and like any mom thought I was born perfect). Even though they weren't freakish or anything, insurance agreed to pay (I lucked out, it was the 90') and I ended up having it done when I was 14. Guess what, it hurt! I had my whole head bandaged up for a week and I remember thinking if I had this done already I wouldn't have to go through it. It was a little embarrassing being around friends at that age, though I tried to lay low during recovery. Now as an adult many years later, I do not remember the sensation pain, just that there was pain. I think my mom chose correctly in letting me decide what to do with my body.

I also took a women's studies class in college and the professor was from Kenya. She talked about her experience with female circumcision. It was a right a passage for her and something to be very proud of. According to her, they clip the tip of the clitoris and it grows back thicker with more sensation. She found it highly offensive that western civilizations views all female circumcision the same as genital mutilation. To her, this was not the same as what other tribes did with sewing and glass, but that was her culture and she accepted it. I suspect that one day, the majority will agree that the practice of cutting off foreskin of males is genital mutilation as well, but for now it is acceptable.

[Deleted]

(BTW, condoms are the best way to avoid the spread of HIV, not circ. I'm surprised somebody would post such a thing).

Where in that link did it say that circumcision was the BEST way to avoid contracting HIV?!?

[gooddecisions]

Mar 30, 2011 7:18:31 GMT -5 998fbird said:

I know that this thread hasn't had any posts for awhile, but in reviewing WIR I saw this and wanted to insert MO (I'm rarely humble, but I am trying). My son was born in 1985 and I was adamant about NOT having him circumcised, and over the years I have truly regretted the decision. And the reason really is health connected, not aesthetic. Even though you hear very little about HIV/AIDS in the news media anymore it is still out there and circumcision is one of the best ways to prevent the contraction/spread of this disease. So until there is a reliable vaccine for HIV I would recommend that the parents of male babies strongly consider this procedure.

It wasn't in the link, it was here ^^