Green Eyed Lady
Senior Associate
Look inna eye! Always look inna eye!
Joined: Jan 23, 2012 11:23:55 GMT -5
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jul 13, 2016 13:58:07 GMT -5
Stranger things have happened!
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swamp
Community Leader
THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 16:03:22 GMT -5
Posts: 45,622
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Post by swamp on Jul 13, 2016 15:13:09 GMT -5
No. That's not why I said it. I said it jokingly as most of my friends are that way and I surely don't have an issue with them. I tell them to go burn incense and chant all the time...it's a joke. They tell me to go read my Bible. It's all in fun because while we love and respect one another, we sill remember what fun is. It's not for everybody. Stickupyourassbiblebangingseventeenthcenturyreligiouspurtian. All in fun. I mean it in the most complimentary way possible. Joke, you know. Points for creativity.
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NastyWoman
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 20:50:37 GMT -5
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Post by NastyWoman on Jul 13, 2016 17:46:08 GMT -5
Since I originally brought up my unease at the brother/sister sharing the bed, I would like to point out that my unease is in no small part caused by the fact that we are talking about a 10yo and her either 18 or 20yo brother. Nothing like the 6 and 8 yo many here seem to be talking about. If that makes me a prude so be it. I have been called worse things
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MJ2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,049
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Post by MJ2.0 on Jul 13, 2016 17:56:07 GMT -5
Since I originally brought up my unease at the brother/sister sharing the bed, I would like to point out that my unease is in no small part caused by the fact that we are talking about a 10yo and her either 18 or 20yo brother. Nothing like the 6 and 8 yo many here seem to be talking about. If that makes me a prude so be it. I have been called worse things No, there's just a "right way" to feel on this subject and you're just wrong.
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NastyWoman
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 20:50:37 GMT -5
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Post by NastyWoman on Jul 13, 2016 17:59:32 GMT -5
Since I originally brought up my unease at the brother/sister sharing the bed, I would like to point out that my unease is in no small part caused by the fact that we are talking about a 10yo and her either 18 or 20yo brother. Nothing like the 6 and 8 yo many here seem to be talking about. If that makes me a prude so be it. I have been called worse things No, there's just a "right way" to feel on this subject and you're just wrong. AM NOT, AM NOT, AM NOT!!! So there
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Miss Tequila
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 10:13:45 GMT -5
Posts: 20,602
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 13, 2016 20:05:56 GMT -5
Call me a prude because I wouldn't want my 10 year old daughter to sleep in bed with adult brothers.
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 14, 2024 5:22:26 GMT -5
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jul 13, 2016 20:11:31 GMT -5
Again though, prude implies a sexual nature.
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 14, 2024 5:22:26 GMT -5
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jul 13, 2016 20:15:30 GMT -5
Since I originally brought up my unease at the brother/sister sharing the bed, I would like to point out that my unease is in no small part caused by the fact that we are talking about a 10yo and her either 18 or 20yo brother. Nothing like the 6 and 8 yo many here seem to be talking about. If that makes me a prude so be it. I have been called worse things No, there's just a "right way" to feel on this subject and you're just wrong. I totally think no person should ever be forced into a situation in which they feel uncomfortable. However, I have learned as I grow and particularly while parenting beings who are increasingly more independent from me... That I need to be very careful not to assume that the things that make me uncomfortable, make other people uncomfortable. Nor do I necessarily want to teach my discomfort if there is no rational reason to do so.
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NastyWoman
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 20:50:37 GMT -5
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Post by NastyWoman on Jul 13, 2016 21:07:41 GMT -5
True but I clearly remember a discussion here just a short while ago when we wondered why a 16yo being abused on a plane did not speak up. Some very good points were made at that time by people who had experienced something like that in their lives. So, with that in mind, I would not allow any adult male to sleep with my (hypothetical) 10yo daughter. I prefer to err on the side of caution.
Now my very real sons did not like to sleep on the same bed when they were young, so they took turns sleeping on the floor (and used the comforters, blankets etc. for a bed --- we rarely had more than a sheet to sleep under)
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 14, 2024 5:22:26 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Jul 13, 2016 21:17:41 GMT -5
Call me a prude because I wouldn't want my 10 year old daughter to sleep in bed with adult brothers. What if it was 10 year old son and (almost) adult sister? I shared bed/tents with my 10 and 8 year old stepbrothers when I was 17.
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MJ2.0
Senior Associate
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Post by MJ2.0 on Jul 13, 2016 21:19:15 GMT -5
No, there's just a "right way" to feel on this subject and you're just wrong. I totally think no person should ever be forced into a situation in which they feel uncomfortable. However, I have learned as I grow and particularly while parenting beings who are increasingly more independent from me... That I need to be very careful not to assume that the things that make me uncomfortable, make other people uncomfortable. Nor do I necessarily want to teach my discomfort if there is no rational reason to do so. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. At the moment I have one child so most of this is moot for me.
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MJ2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
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Post by MJ2.0 on Jul 13, 2016 21:20:44 GMT -5
No, there's just a "right way" to feel on this subject and you're just wrong. I totally think no person should ever be forced into a situation in which they feel uncomfortable. However, I have learned as I grow and particularly while parenting beings who are increasingly more independent from me... That I need to be very careful not to assume that the things that make me uncomfortable, make other people uncomfortable. Nor do I necessarily want to teach my discomfort if there is no rational reason to do so. Also, what is a rational reason is relative. You're acting as though there is one truth here when pretty much all of this is subjective.
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Miss Tequila
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 10:13:45 GMT -5
Posts: 20,602
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 13, 2016 21:24:44 GMT -5
Again though, prude implies a sexual nature. Don't care what it implies. I don't think it is appropriate.
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Miss Tequila
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 10:13:45 GMT -5
Posts: 20,602
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 13, 2016 21:25:44 GMT -5
Call me a prude because I wouldn't want my 10 year old daughter to sleep in bed with adult brothers. What if it was 10 year old son and (almost) adult sister? I shared bed/tents with my 10 and 8 year old stepbrothers when I was 17. I don't have sons so I don't know how I wohld feel. I would assume i would feel the same but I will never know for sure
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tloonya
Junior Associate
What status?
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 16:22:13 GMT -5
Posts: 8,452
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Post by tloonya on Jul 17, 2016 21:37:02 GMT -5
Yes. That's what happened, Weltz. Just calm down. You are right...absolutely right. Everything is ok now.
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tloonya
Junior Associate
What status?
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 16:22:13 GMT -5
Posts: 8,452
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Post by tloonya on Jul 25, 2016 14:53:29 GMT -5
Yes. That's what happened, Weltz. Just calm down. You are right...absolutely right. Everything is ok now. There is news! Mom was supposed to pick up girl at 8pm and when she came - no one was home. Police came. Report was written... What now? Court again? Poor child is crying now every time she is going to her father. No phone. No TV. No iPod. All taken and locked up. Isn't there anyone can DO???
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swamp
Community Leader
THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 16:03:22 GMT -5
Posts: 45,622
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Post by swamp on Jul 25, 2016 14:55:50 GMT -5
There is news! Mom was supposed to pick up girl at 8pm and when she came - no one was home. Police came. Report was written... What now? Court again? Poor child is crying now every time she is going to her father. No phone. No TV. No iPod. All taken and locked up. Isn't there anyone can DOSeriously?
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 14, 2024 5:22:26 GMT -5
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jul 25, 2016 15:09:09 GMT -5
There is news! Mom was supposed to pick up girl at 8pm and when she came - no one was home. Police came. Report was written... What now? Court again? Poor child is crying now every time she is going to her father. No phone. No TV. No iPod. All taken and locked up. Isn't there anyone can DOSeriously? No kidding. I WISH my kid's Dads would take away all that crap.
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hoops902
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 13:21:29 GMT -5
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Post by hoops902 on Jul 25, 2016 15:11:36 GMT -5
No phone, No TV, No iPod (who even still uses an ipod btw).
This sounds like a clear case of child abuse.
I'm almost positive that nearly nothing will happen if mom came one time at 8pm and nobody was home. People run late sometimes. It's not like the daughter was home alone doing heroin when mom showed up.
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quince
Senior Member
Joined: Sept 23, 2011 17:51:12 GMT -5
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Post by quince on Jul 25, 2016 15:16:49 GMT -5
Hm. I think if there is no house phone, taking away a kid's phone IS abuse. Everyone should be able to make a call in an emergency.
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giramomma
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 11:25:27 GMT -5
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Post by giramomma on Jul 25, 2016 15:19:27 GMT -5
Limiting access to technology is not bad.
Not allowing a child to contact their other parents is, IMVHO, bad.
Which is it?
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hoops902
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 13:21:29 GMT -5
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Post by hoops902 on Jul 25, 2016 15:19:36 GMT -5
Hm. I think if there is no house phone, taking away a kid's phone IS abuse. Everyone should be able to make a call in an emergency. So I don't have a house phone. At what point does not giving my kid their own phone become abuse? Obviously taking away a phone is similar to simply not buying them a phone initially. Am I not allowed to ever take it away for any period of time?
I've never heard this called abuse before, curious as to when you think this starts to be abuse (because I assume not giving a phone to a newborn is not abuse since they can't use it). What's the line?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 25, 2016 15:22:44 GMT -5
Do we know there is no house phone and she's being left alone with nobody that has a phone? I took it that all her personal electronics have been taken away. He could have a very good reason for this. My youngest is currently on a "vacation" from his ipod and the TV.
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hoops902
Senior Associate
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Post by hoops902 on Jul 25, 2016 15:24:43 GMT -5
Do we know there is no house phone and she's being left alone with nobody that has a phone? I took it that all her personal electronics have been taken away. He could have a very good reason for this. My youngest is currently on a "vacation" from his ipod and the TV. I was reading it as "no one was home" as opposed to "the girl was home alone".
I agree with you though, abuse or not abuse, there's a big difference between "I'm taking your phone" and "I'm leaving you with no plan for emergencies".
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 25, 2016 15:27:08 GMT -5
Do we know there is no house phone and she's being left alone with nobody that has a phone? I took it that all her personal electronics have been taken away. He could have a very good reason for this. My youngest is currently on a "vacation" from his ipod and the TV. I was reading it as "no one was home" as opposed to "the girl was home alone".
I agree with you though, abuse or not abuse, there's a big difference between "I'm taking your phone" and "I'm leaving you with no plan for emergencies".
Right. I understand nobody was home when Mom went to pick her up. I was referring to the phone situation. If there's a landline or someone else (like her older brother) there with a cell phone does it matter if hers is taken away? I mean it's different if she's just on lock down and not allowed to contact her Mom.
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giramomma
Distinguished Associate
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Post by giramomma on Jul 25, 2016 15:28:02 GMT -5
Hm. I think if there is no house phone, taking away a kid's phone IS abuse. Everyone should be able to make a call in an emergency. So I don't have a house phone. At what point does not giving my kid their own phone become abuse? Obviously taking away a phone is similar to simply not buying them a phone initially. Am I not allowed to ever take it away for any period of time?
I've never heard this called abuse before, curious as to when you think this starts to be abuse (because I assume not giving a phone to a newborn is not abuse since they can't use it). What's the line?
Well, shit. If my kids were home alone, and the house was on fire or one of them cut themselves badly, I'd really like for them to be able to contact proper emergency people. Or am I supposed to ask them to walk to the nearest hospital that accepts our insurance, which is 8 miles away? I think the fire department is closer...it's likely only a mile and a half away. Relying on the kindness of neighbors doesn't work so well. Many of my neighbors work. Even the retired ones have a life. One of our next door neighbors are old enough to have married grandchildren. They go away to their cottage from May to September or October. Here's another reason why my kids have phones: they have outdoor activities and sometimes weather changes pretty quickly. Clearly, I'm parenting wrong because I don't want them standing outside when there's bad lightening AND I don't think it's the coach's responsibility to take care of my kids.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 25, 2016 15:30:00 GMT -5
I'm sensitive to this because my youngest calls me the "mean mom" and sometime cries when it's time to come home with me because at Dad's it's a free for all of video games and TV.
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hoops902
Senior Associate
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Post by hoops902 on Jul 25, 2016 15:34:55 GMT -5
So I don't have a house phone. At what point does not giving my kid their own phone become abuse? Obviously taking away a phone is similar to simply not buying them a phone initially. Am I not allowed to ever take it away for any period of time?
I've never heard this called abuse before, curious as to when you think this starts to be abuse (because I assume not giving a phone to a newborn is not abuse since they can't use it). What's the line?
Well, shit. If my kids were home alone, and the house was on fire or one of them cut themselves badly, I'd really like for them to be able to contact proper emergency people. Or am I supposed to ask them to walk to the nearest hospital that accepts our insurance, which is 8 miles away? I think the fire department is closer...it's likely only a mile and a half away. Relying on the kindness of neighbors doesn't work so well. Many of my neighbors work. Even the retired ones have a life. One of our next door neighbors are old enough to have married grandchildren. They go away to their cottage from May to September or October. Here's another reason why my kids have phones: they have outdoor activities and sometimes weather changes pretty quickly. Clearly, I'm parenting wrong because I don't want them standing outside when there's bad lightening AND I don't think it's the coach's responsibility to take care of my kids. You can want whatever you like. There's a big difference though between "this is what I want" and "this is abuse". Similarly, I also think there's a pretty significant difference between "you make bad parenting choices that I wouldn't make" and "you abuse your kids". I can't imagine sending kids anywhere in this day and age without a phone just because they're so convenient. I don't think parents who do are abusing them though.
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quince
Senior Member
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Post by quince on Jul 25, 2016 16:18:23 GMT -5
Isn't the kid like...14?
I don't think not giving kids access to recreational electronics is abuse.
I think removing the availability of emergency communication from anyone able to use it IS abuse. I don't think it is awful not to have a phone when going out.
It's not a case of not providing the ability to call for help, which I think is problematic, but removing it. That's pretty fucked up.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 25, 2016 17:50:37 GMT -5
The issue with going out is that the entire system is set up for everyong to have phones. There aren't any pay phones anymore from which to make an emergency call, etc.
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