tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jul 6, 2016 20:48:53 GMT -5
Parents are divorce. 2 sons 18 and 20 living with father. 10 y/old girl is 60/40 where Mom gets 60%.
While on Dad's watch - Dad and his living in GF leaving the girl with 2 brothers overnight. 18 y/old is driving girl back to Mom.
Mom is hysterical about the situation. I say report it to the court. She says brothers are legal age. So they can be left with sister.
My take is the is Dad has a custody not brothers.
Also earlier Dad, GF and younger brother and a girl spent night at Motel in 1 room where brother was in bed with sister while father was in bed with GF in the same room. Judge thought nothing is wrong with that.
Any take on that from pros? It is PA.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Jul 6, 2016 20:57:51 GMT -5
She can try and take him to court, but I doubt that a judge would do anything. Just because he has custody doesn't mean he can never get a babysitter. And what better babysitter than family. She'll just have to get over it.
Hell, Baby Daddy left the girls with his mom and left the country for a few months. I wanted to take him to court and the lawyer said that he left them with an adult and to drop it. Even after I pointed out that his mom speaks no English and I was worried about how she would ever be able to get across what was going on if she had to call 911. You better believe I was pissed when I went to pick the girls up the next morning after he left.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jul 6, 2016 21:02:02 GMT -5
She can try and take him to court, but I doubt that a judge would do anything. Just because he has custody doesn't mean he can never get a babysitter. And what better babysitter than family. She'll just have to get over it. Hell, Baby Daddy left the girls with his mom and left the country for a few months. I wanted to take him to court and the lawyer said that he left them with an adult and to drop it. Even after I pointed out that his mom speaks no English and I was worried about how she would ever be able to get across what was going on if she had to call 911. You better believe I was pissed when I went to pick the girls up the next morning after he left. What have judge answered to your question about 911?
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Sharon
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Post by Sharon on Jul 6, 2016 21:05:24 GMT -5
I had a relative who was able to get full custody of his kids because the Mom kept taking him to court for every little thing. The judge called it harassment, ordered the Mom to get therapy and if she ever files false charges against him again she will be put on supervised visitation only.
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Jul 6, 2016 21:06:28 GMT -5
Eh, if there's an actual custody order, there's usually "right of first refusal". That means that if there's a babysitter needed, the mom get's first shot at "being the babysitter".
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Jul 6, 2016 21:10:35 GMT -5
She can try and take him to court, but I doubt that a judge would do anything. Just because he has custody doesn't mean he can never get a babysitter. And what better babysitter than family. She'll just have to get over it. Hell, Baby Daddy left the girls with his mom and left the country for a few months. I wanted to take him to court and the lawyer said that he left them with an adult and to drop it. Even after I pointed out that his mom speaks no English and I was worried about how she would ever be able to get across what was going on if she had to call 911. You better believe I was pissed when I went to pick the girls up the next morning after he left. What have judge answered to your question about 911? It didn't get that far. I called the lawyer and she said not to waste my time because nothing was going to happen. I could tell you a bunch of stories that you probably wouldn't believe about him. He's gotten away with more crap over the years than he should have been allowed to.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jul 6, 2016 21:15:49 GMT -5
Dad is free to use his visit time as he wants. Is there any reason the brother can't watch her?
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jul 6, 2016 21:20:04 GMT -5
I had a relative who was able to get full custody of his kids because the Mom kept taking him to court for every little thing. The judge called it harassment, ordered the Mom to get therapy and if she ever files false charges against him again she will be put on supervised visitation only. This woman actually being in court all the time because her ex is wanting 50/50 so she can pay him child support. She is a doctor. He is claiming having no income. However judge is just yelling that he is sick of it and there it stops!
What state are your story at? Was judge man or woman?
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jul 6, 2016 21:21:24 GMT -5
Eh, if there's an actual custody order, there's usually "right of first refusal". That means that if there's a babysitter needed, the mom get's first shot at "being the babysitter". Is that so? Where and how to find it to read about? Thanks
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jul 6, 2016 21:22:32 GMT -5
Dad is free to use his visit time as he wants. Is there any reason the brother can't watch her? Older is working while younger is upstairs minding his own business and girl is left alone most of the time.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2016 23:01:39 GMT -5
I wouldn't think a typical 10 year old would need constant supervision. If her 18 year old brother is responsible, just having him in the house if there was a problem would probably be acceptable to the courts.
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Jul 6, 2016 23:12:03 GMT -5
The legal age that kids can be left alone varies from 10 to 12 here.
A ten year old with an older brother (18) shouldn't be a problem.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Jul 7, 2016 6:35:52 GMT -5
I had a relative who was able to get full custody of his kids because the Mom kept taking him to court for every little thing. The judge called it harassment, ordered the Mom to get therapy and if she ever files false charges against him again she will be put on supervised visitation only. I also have a relative who's ex did that too, but she got the judge to agree that his parent's couldn't provide before or after school care or summertime care, she objected to absolutely everything, including having their 18 year old half sister babysit. He got tired of fighting her and let her have full custody.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jul 7, 2016 8:19:07 GMT -5
Eh, if there's an actual custody order, there's usually "right of first refusal". That means that if there's a babysitter needed, the mom get's first shot at "being the babysitter". Is that so? Where and how to find it to read about? Thanks look at the custody order.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Jul 7, 2016 11:15:55 GMT -5
I had a relative who was able to get full custody of his kids because the Mom kept taking him to court for every little thing. The judge called it harassment, ordered the Mom to get therapy and if she ever files false charges against him again she will be put on supervised visitation only. I also have a relative who's ex did that too, but she got the judge to agree that his parent's couldn't provide before or after school care or summertime care, she objected to absolutely everything, including having their 18 year old half sister babysit. He got tired of fighting her and let her have full custody. Unless the ex is dangerous or a complete waste of space, I don't understand the people who fight tooth and nail to limit their kids' time with the ex.
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Jul 7, 2016 11:34:00 GMT -5
The legal age that kids can be left alone varies from 10 to 12 here. A ten year old with an older brother (18) shouldn't be a problem. LOL! Having been the Little Sister and being left with one or more of my older brother(s) -- when I was 10 they were 17, 18, and 23. I would think it depends on the son doing the 'watching'. My brother(s) generally just left me to my own devices which was fine - I was not a trouble maker kid. They went drinking/getting high doing whatever loser thing 17/18 yos do with their friends SOMEWHERE else (I usually covered for them - yeah they were here - but they left around X o'clock so I've only been home alone for an hour. Yeah, Yeah, that's it, that's the ticket!) So, I didn't have much contact with their 'loser' friends.
Leaving a 10 yo (male or female) with older siblings for a long period of time (or overnight) MIGHT worry me - depending on the what kind of 'kid' the older sibling was (responsible versus doing stuff they really shouldn't be doing) AND what kind of people they hung around with.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Jul 7, 2016 12:03:05 GMT -5
Parents are divorce. 2 sons 18 and 20 living with father. 10 y/old girl is 60/40 where Mom gets 60%.
While on Dad's watch - Dad and his living in GF leaving the girl with 2 brothers overnight. 18 y/old is driving girl back to Mom.
Mom is hysterical about the situation. I say report it to the court. She says brothers are legal age. So they can be left with sister.
My take is the is Dad has a custody not brothers.
Also earlier Dad, GF and younger brother and a girl spent night at Motel in 1 room where brother was in bed with sister while father was in bed with GF in the same room. Judge thought nothing is wrong with that.
Any take on that from pros? It is PA. Seems perfectly normal and reasonable. Custody does not equal "be there 24:7 all the time every day". Mom needs to chillax and quit wasting the court's time and Dad's money.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Jul 7, 2016 12:05:33 GMT -5
I also have a relative who's ex did that too, but she got the judge to agree that his parent's couldn't provide before or after school care or summertime care, she objected to absolutely everything, including having their 18 year old half sister babysit. He got tired of fighting her and let her have full custody. Unless the ex is dangerous or a complete waste of space, I don't understand the people who fight tooth and nail to limit their kids' time with the ex. She wanted full custody so she could get more child support. She also claimed full disability from a job she worked at. No one in the family really thought she was disabled, but no one asked us any questions.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with the care my MIL/FIL were providing. They always watched my kids and they are the best. If there was any issue with the kids it was that my MIL kept too close an eye on them. When my BIL actually lived there his older daughter was on a rant and actually called the police and tried to claim child abuse. The female police officer that came to the house, opened the refrigerator and saw and organized refrigerator filled with food, a very clean house etc., and told my niece she should be grateful she had such a nice place to live in. (This one may have some mental health issues, she no longer lives with her Dad either - but she does live with another relative). My oldest niece hated living with my MIL b/c if she tried to sneak out of the house to be with her friends, MIL almost always caught her. MIL got fed up with BIL living with her between the antics of his oldest daughter and the younger 2's mother (his ex wife), and sent him to live in her duplex so she didn't have to deal with the constant issues from his family.
ETA, I think my BIL is pretty steady, hardworking good parent, but she managed to present him in a bad light in court. He was at MIL's house with his younger 2 kids for the 4th, and while there were a few there who were very drunk, he did not look like he was drinking too excess (maybe he wasn't drinking, I wasn't sure).
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Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2016 16:33:54 GMT -5
If Dad is frequently gone overnight while the 10yo is there, what's the point in getting her? If I were the Mom I'd rather she stay home with me if he's rarely there when his daughter is. Looney didn't say it was all the time, so maybe it's not that extreme, but if it was, it would bother me even if there was nothing I could do about it.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jul 7, 2016 17:40:49 GMT -5
If Dad is frequently gone overnight while the 10yo is there, what's the point in getting her? If I were the Mom I'd rather she stay home with me if he's rarely there when his daughter is. Looney didn't say it was all the time, so maybe it's not that extreme, but if it was, it would bother me even if there was nothing I could do about it. To hurt his ex. He has a task in his phone it says 'most important task is to make ex to jump off the bridge'. You know how people marrying someone and then your ex getting doctorate degree and you still a person with 'no income'? Some people can't stand it and retaliate by making kids hate their mother. As he does. No relationships. Mothers are the enemies. In his eyes. And he is successful with that! Unfortunately.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Jul 7, 2016 18:15:20 GMT -5
Now THAT might worry me. This is totally inappropriate IMO
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jul 7, 2016 18:30:24 GMT -5
Now THAT might worry me. This is totally inappropriate IMO I was surprised no one addressed THAT. Thanks
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Jul 10, 2016 17:10:15 GMT -5
This is no different than any other parents who have to use sitters sometime. No difference between having an 18 year old brother do it than an 18 year old non-relative babysitter.
Not sure I see any issue with 2 siblings sharing a bad in a motel. Family members do that kind of stuff a lot I'd imagine.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jul 10, 2016 17:21:01 GMT -5
This is no different than any other parents who have to use sitters sometime. No difference between having an 18 year old brother do it than an 18 year old non-relative babysitter.
Not sure I see any issue with 2 siblings sharing a bad in a motel. Family members do that kind of stuff a lot I'd imagine. See, different people, different opinions. I remember my Mom's woman friend slept with me in bed drunk and she was masturbating like crazy! I wasn't 10, I was like 18...but I still remember. Girls mother's lawyer asked her about father and girlfriend 'did she say they were doing anything'? Mom said STFU! I am not going that road...that is her concern but asking girls THAT Or was y
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Jul 10, 2016 22:29:22 GMT -5
Let's see : I have stayed in plenty of hotel rooms and shared a bed with my siblings while my parents shared the other bed. Sounds normal to me...
When DW and I were dating we shared a bed in a room while her cousin shared the other bed with her boyfriend (we were young and broke trying to travel on the cheap).
Heck recently on our 2 trips to DC we did not rent 2 rooms, we rented 1 room with 2 queen size beds. I slept in one with my wife and max, mil slept in the other one.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Jul 10, 2016 22:34:17 GMT -5
And my brother and sister were born when I was 18 and 19... The amount of free babysitting they got out of me till I move out at 23 I could have purchased a Honda Civic cash!
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Jul 10, 2016 22:53:35 GMT -5
Let's see : I have stayed in plenty of hotel rooms and shared a bed with my siblings while my parents shared the other bed. Sounds normal to me... When DW and I were dating we shared a bed in a room while her cousin shared the other bed with her boyfriend (we were young and broke trying to travel on the cheap). Heck recently on our 2 trips to DC we did not rent 2 rooms, we rented 1 room with 2 queen size beds. I slept in one with my wife and max, mil slept in the other one. We're the siblings sharing a bed of the same gender? The other two scenarios aren't really comparable.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Jul 10, 2016 23:22:37 GMT -5
When we traveled when we were kids (even teenagers), my brother and I shared a bed while my mom and stepdad used the other bed. FWIW, my brother and I are 15 months apart. It didn't bother us. At our house, we each had our own room.
I have a coworker who would get 2 rooms when they travelled. Her DH and her would be in one while her kids (brother and sister 3 years apart) would be in the other room. Sounds too pricey to me. <shoulder shrug >
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Jul 11, 2016 0:26:57 GMT -5
When we traveled when we were kids (even teenagers), my brother and I shared a bed while my mom and stepdad used the other bed. FWIW, my brother and I are 15 months apart. It didn't bother us. At our house, we each had our own room. I have a coworker who would get 2 rooms when they travelled. Her DH and her would be in one while her kids (brother and sister 3 years apart) would be in the other room. Sounds too pricey to me. <shoulder shrug > Yep in my day (till today) only rich people get a separate room for their kids!
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chen35
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Post by chen35 on Jul 11, 2016 7:33:21 GMT -5
We either have to get a separate room, or get a suite, since there are 4 kids. And yep, it's pricey! If there were two we'd definitely just share a normal room. Doesn't seem odd to me at all.
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