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Post by Deleted on Jul 11, 2016 7:56:39 GMT -5
When we traveled when we were kids (even teenagers), my brother and I shared a bed while my mom and stepdad used the other bed. FWIW, my brother and I are 15 months apart. It didn't bother us. At our house, we each had our own room. I have a coworker who would get 2 rooms when they travelled. Her DH and her would be in one while her kids (brother and sister 3 years apart) would be in the other room. Sounds too pricey to me. <shoulder shrug > Yep in my day (till today) only rich people get a separate room for their kids! I didn't have siblings growing up, but cousins that were like siblings and we traveled with/stayed at the grandparent's a lot. It was usually me and one male cousin that was 4 years older that traveled with them and we always shared the other bed in the hotel room, up until I was probably 12 years old or more. It didn't seem odd to us, neither wanted to sleep on the floor!
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 11, 2016 8:56:38 GMT -5
Let's see : I have stayed in plenty of hotel rooms and shared a bed with my siblings while my parents shared the other bed. Sounds normal to me... When DW and I were dating we shared a bed in a room while her cousin shared the other bed with her boyfriend (we were young and broke trying to travel on the cheap). Heck recently on our 2 trips to DC we did not rent 2 rooms, we rented 1 room with 2 queen size beds. I slept in one with my wife and max, mil slept in the other one. We're the siblings sharing a bed of the same gender? The other two scenarios aren't really comparable. My brother and I shared a bed in a hotel room for years. Eventually we switched to my mom and I in one bed, dad and brother in another. All we were doing is sleeping. I don't see the issue. No way my parents could have afforded two hotel rooms. When DH and I go on vacation with the girls we currently get a King bed. We all fit. Eventually we'll move to two queen beds with us in one and the girls in another.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jul 11, 2016 9:03:32 GMT -5
We either have to get a separate room, or get a suite, since there are 4 kids. And yep, it's pricey! If there were two we'd definitely just share a normal room. Doesn't seem odd to me at all. we like the setup where there is a sort of alcove with bunk beds in it. The place we're staying in now, it's $40 more per night. When we do 2 room with 2 queens, there's a lot of trying to avoid sleeping with ds. He's a kicker and a very restless sleeper. No one wants to share with him, not even his dad and me.
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chen35
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Post by chen35 on Jul 11, 2016 9:05:45 GMT -5
Bunk beds would be awesome! Everyone tries not to sleep with DS14 for the same reason.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jul 11, 2016 9:12:44 GMT -5
Bunk beds would be awesome! Everyone tries not to sleep with DS14 for the same reason. yeah. It is. And the alcove thing means that we've got a bit of privacy at night too. There's not a door for the bunk beds but there's walls and a small tv too. I assume putting a door on changes the building codes. I was very surprised that WDW didn't do the alcoved bunk beds because if there's a place where the parents need privacy at night, it's there!
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Jul 11, 2016 9:53:23 GMT -5
Let's see : I have stayed in plenty of hotel rooms and shared a bed with my siblings while my parents shared the other bed. Sounds normal to me... When DW and I were dating we shared a bed in a room while her cousin shared the other bed with her boyfriend (we were young and broke trying to travel on the cheap). Heck recently on our 2 trips to DC we did not rent 2 rooms, we rented 1 room with 2 queen size beds. I slept in one with my wife and max, mil slept in the other one. We're the siblings sharing a bed of the same gender? The other two scenarios aren't really comparable. What difference does gender make? Is it just because we assume everyone is heterosexual or that only one gender acts inappropriately sexually?
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Jul 11, 2016 11:24:08 GMT -5
We're the siblings sharing a bed of the same gender? The other two scenarios aren't really comparable. What difference does gender make? Is it just because we assume everyone is heterosexual or that only one gender acts inappropriately sexually? I don't think I mentioned anyone's sexuality at all. I ask because things like that aren't something that my family does. Just like opposite sex parents don't shower with children either. Just the way I was brought up. Of course, I only have one sibling of the same sex and both of my children are of my same sex. It's something that I don't quite find appropriate. So before you go putting words in my mouth, try considering the fact that your opinion isn't the only one or the right one for everyone.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 11, 2016 11:27:31 GMT -5
Why would it not be appropriate though is the question?
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Post by Deleted on Jul 11, 2016 11:39:18 GMT -5
Really if opposite sex siblings are going to be messing around, I would think the LAST place they would do that is in a hotel room with their parents in the next bed.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jul 11, 2016 13:29:31 GMT -5
Well, DS doesn't want to bedshare with his sisters.
On vacation, we just got pull out bed or he slept in a sleeping bag on the floor.
I personally would be uncomfortable with them all sharing a bed in their teen years. Not because they are going to be messing around. I always liked some privacy around my period and the like. I'd want my girls to have that option. Same as I don't know that I would trust DS to never, ever not rub one out when he was half asleep. Him doing that in the same bed with his sisters, blergh.
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Jul 11, 2016 14:47:31 GMT -5
I have a 11yo DS and 8yo DD.....and we always get a single room and the kids always share a bed, while DH and I take the other bed in the room. There is no way we are paying for another room and letting the kids sleep there alone. Not because of money issues, more so for security reasons. A few nights sleeping in a hotel, sharing the room does not bother us. Me and brother shared a hotel bed till he grew big enough to not being able to fit in one. That was around when I was 16-17 years old. Never bothered us or my parents
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 11, 2016 15:46:40 GMT -5
My brother was on the floor half the time we shared a bed. He was notorious for falling off the bed. He doesn't know it but once I pushed him. He was lying on his side perched on the edge and I poked him to see what would happen. Gwen is just like her uncle, more than once I've had to lunge for a leg before she belly flopped onto the ground.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Jul 11, 2016 19:17:21 GMT -5
Why would it not be appropriate though is the question? Older children and teens don't need to be in the same bed. A couple of toddlers is one thing. And that's not the way I was brought up. When a sibling has people over for the night, the opposite sex siblings relocate or stay in a different part of the house at night time. Parents don't shower with opposite sex kids. There are plenty of things that are inappropriate that don't have anything to do with sex.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Jul 11, 2016 19:40:56 GMT -5
Really if opposite sex siblings are going to be messing around, I would think the LAST place they would do that is in a hotel room with their parents in the next bed. I think it's gross that you thought that's what I was thinking about.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Jul 11, 2016 19:41:07 GMT -5
Why would it not be appropriate though is the question? Older children and teens don't need to be in the same bed. A couple of toddlers is one thing. And that's not the way I was brought up. When a sibling has people over for the night, the opposite sex siblings relocate or stay in a different part of the house at night time. Parents don't shower with opposite sex kids. There are plenty of things that are inappropriate that don't have anything to do with sex. I haven't really had this come up as an adult, but this is pretty much the way my family operates too. There was no hard and fast rule that I know of, but that's the way things happened. It kinda makes sense. I think it's just about comfort level.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 11, 2016 20:17:23 GMT -5
Really if opposite sex siblings are going to be messing around, I would think the LAST place they would do that is in a hotel room with their parents in the next bed. I think it's gross that you thought that's what I was thinking about. I honestly couldn't think of any other reason it would be considered inappropriate, but I also grew up in a family where this is common (bed sharing, not incest. )
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Jul 11, 2016 20:35:35 GMT -5
Why would it not be appropriate though is the question? Older children and teens don't need to be in the same bed. A couple of toddlers is one thing. And that's not the way I was brought up. When a sibling has people over for the night, the opposite sex siblings relocate or stay in a different part of the house at night time. Parents don't shower with opposite sex kids. There are plenty of things that are inappropriate that don't have anything to do with sex. How is segregating people by biological sex not, at its base, inherently about sex. "Because it's inappropriate." is not the final answer to the question "why?" Why is it inappropriate? I'm not trying to be an asshole, I honestly would like to understand.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 11, 2016 20:38:19 GMT -5
Why would it not be appropriate though is the question? Older children and teens don't need to be in the same bed. A couple of toddlers is one thing. And that's not the way I was brought up. When a sibling has people over for the night, the opposite sex siblings relocate or stay in a different part of the house at night time. Parents don't shower with opposite sex kids. There are plenty of things that are inappropriate that don't have anything to do with sex. But basically all you did was reiterate the rules you grew up with... You didn't address the why it would not be appropriate... Unless because that's how we do it is the why... I was just curious. I really didn't understand the reason.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 11, 2016 20:39:35 GMT -5
I missed yours pants!
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Jul 11, 2016 20:46:57 GMT -5
I can't speak for Andi, but for me it's more of a "same goes with same".
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Post by Deleted on Jul 11, 2016 21:18:25 GMT -5
Why would it not be appropriate though is the question? Older children and teens don't need to be in the same bed. A couple of toddlers is one thing. And that's not the way I was brought up. When a sibling has people over for the night, the opposite sex siblings relocate or stay in a different part of the house at night time. Parents don't shower with opposite sex kids. There are plenty of things that are inappropriate that don't have anything to do with sex. But, we're talking about traveling, not a permanent at home brother and sister sharing a bed situation. If you can only afford one room or don't want kids in a room by themselves, they might NEED to be. We packed the hotel room with 3-4 kids with Grands. Getting half a bed was a luxury. Otherwise it was the floor.
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Jul 11, 2016 22:14:34 GMT -5
I can't speak for Andi, but for me it's more of a "same goes with same". Sure but why? I think, at the root of it, it is sexual. And more than that, very heteronormative.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Jul 11, 2016 23:14:11 GMT -5
I can't speak for Andi, but for me it's more of a "same goes with same". Sure but why? I think, at the root of it, it is sexual. And more than that, very heteronormative. I think it's more about having the same parts than "liking" the same gender. At least for me it is. That is just how I feel - no right or wrong in that.
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Jul 12, 2016 8:20:29 GMT -5
Sure but why? I think, at the root of it, it is sexual. And more than that, very heteronormative. I think it's more about having the same parts than "liking" the same gender. At least for me it is. That is just how I feel - no right or wrong in that. Right, having the same genitals. Because I'm sure you don't mean if you had two children and one of them had, for example, a birth defect that meant they only had three fingers that you would keep them separated because they had different parts. I am confused, though, about the argument of this not being sexual. If you are specifically talking about genitals when you make the "same parts" argument, then you are talking about sex and our sexual attitudes as adults and as children. I've been trying to think of the reasons beneath this belief. I've come up with: Fear of children being sexual in coed groups, playing doctor, etc. - definitely about sex Modesty - again, a fear of children being exposed to sexuality, seeing something they "shouldn't", definitely about sex Fear of molestation or sexual coercion - about sex What gets me is the assumption that this will only happen in groups of both genders. Meanwhile there's definitely the chance of homosexuals in any group, but the same concerns aren't presented for that variation. And I agree, I don't think there's a right or wrong in this situation necessarily. I do want to dig deeper on people's motivations so that I understand them.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Jul 12, 2016 8:26:57 GMT -5
My mom was one of 18 and my family is big (aunts celebrating 50th next week has 9 kids) and the separating of the sex was the least of their worries.
At night at my aunt house it was every man for themselves, find a place to sleep because they never had enough beds for the amount of kids (their own, their nephews/nieces).... Yet we all love going to my aunt house till this day! The only 2 people in that house that were guaranteed a bed were my aunt and uncle and if you are lucky they most recent baby/grand baby that would sleep with them.
Also walking around butt naked or half naked has never bothered any of us. I have seen my share of my aunts/mom/cousins boobs.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 12, 2016 8:44:48 GMT -5
My mom was one of 18 and my family is big (aunts celebrating 50th next week has 9 kids) and the separating of the sex was the least of their worries. At night at my aunt house it was every man for themselves, find a place to sleep because they never had enough beds for the amount of kids (their own, their nephews/nieces).... Yet we all love going to my aunt house till this day! The only 2 people in that house that were guaranteed a bed were my aunt and uncle and if you are lucky they most recent baby/grand baby that would sleep with them. Also walking around butt naked or half naked has never bothered any of us. I have seen my share of my aunts/mom/cousins boobs. My family is like this too. My Mom is one of 8 and while she didn't have a lot of kids herself, my aunts and uncles had 47 children between them. My favorite Aunt had 8 kids and lots of us cousins just hung out at her place. Looking back I can't believe all the people she fed/housed on a regular basis that weren't hers... Anyhow, nights were also like you described. Claim a bed spot with whoever or sleep in a bean bag chair.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jul 12, 2016 9:51:04 GMT -5
Why don't you ask your kids, for Heaven's sake. Not every child of every hippydippynoinhibitionslookatmenaked parent has children that feel the same way. If they are uncomfortable, that's enough of a reason if I'm the parent. Twelve year old Johnny might not want his sister, in her sleep, rolling over against his pee-woody. 12 year old Jessica may be uncomfortable with the fact that she is developing and might not want her 10 year old brother in bed with her. Ask your kids and respect what they tell you even if it differs from the way you feel. If they are fine with it...fine. If they aren't, look for other arrangements. Make it sexual if you want. Who cares? Their privacy should be respected for whatever reason they are asking for it.
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Jul 12, 2016 10:00:28 GMT -5
I agree with you. (Does that surprise you?)
But this wasn't about the kid being uncomfortable, it was about the parent being uncomfortable.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 12, 2016 10:02:26 GMT -5
Why don't you ask your kids, for Heaven's sake. Not every child of every hippydippynoinhibitionslookatmenaked parent has children that feel the same way. If they are uncomfortable, that's enough of a reason if I'm the parent. Twelve year old Johnny might not want his sister, in her sleep, rolling over against his pee-woody. 12 year old Jessica may be uncomfortable with the fact that she is developing and might not want her 10 year old brother in bed with her. Ask your kids and respect what they tell you even if it differs from the way you feel. If they are fine with it...fine. If they aren't, look for other arrangements. Make it sexual if you want. Who cares? Their privacy should be respected for whatever reason they are asking for it. I don't think anyone said anything about FORCING opposite sex kids to share a bed. My two sons won't sleep together when we vacation. Older son would rather take the floor than sleep with his thrashing, kicking brother and there's no way he's sharing a bed with his Mom, so floor it is.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Jul 12, 2016 10:33:46 GMT -5
I think it's more about having the same parts than "liking" the same gender. At least for me it is. That is just how I feel - no right or wrong in that. Right, having the same genitals. Because I'm sure you don't mean if you had two children and one of them had, for example, a birth defect that meant they only had three fingers that you would keep them separated because they had different parts. I am confused, though, about the argument of this not being sexual. If you are specifically talking about genitals when you make the "same parts" argument, then you are talking about sex and our sexual attitudes as adults and as children. I've been trying to think of the reasons beneath this belief. I've come up with: Fear of children being sexual in coed groups, playing doctor, etc. - definitely about sex Modesty - again, a fear of children being exposed to sexuality, seeing something they "shouldn't", definitely about sex Fear of molestation or sexual coercion - about sex What gets me is the assumption that this will only happen in groups of both genders. Meanwhile there's definitely the chance of homosexuals in any group, but the same concerns aren't presented for that variation. And I agree, I don't think there's a right or wrong in this situation necessarily. I do want to dig deeper on people's motivations so that I understand them. I was really referring to the comfort of the kids, like in GEL's post. I don't know why you decided to jump to all those conclusions. I really don't care if you understand my rationale or not - you do you. I'll do me.
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