justme
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Post by justme on Mar 8, 2016 21:53:16 GMT -5
I would peg a woman who moved in two separate guys with her children who only lasted a year each and a third that has only lasted I believe two someone as the one who dates inappropriate men WAY more than I would peg someone who dated a guy for two years and didn't move him in with her kids.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Mar 8, 2016 22:00:11 GMT -5
I'm sure that if he were in a therapist's office, this is not all he would say. His parents are divorced which he had no say in. His mom keeps moving boyfriends in even though one of them traumatized him in some sort of way and he got no say in that. The current one in the home doesn't care that he's uncomfortable with him being there, just so long as he gets to sleep with his mom at night. His dad only comes around sporadically at best. The list goes on and on. Are you really going to stand behind the statement that he wouldn't change anything else about his current situation. All three of these poor kids need to talk to a professional and get some counseling. Sounds like everyone in the home does. Look, I realize by your repeated spouting of untruths that the truth means nothing to you, but if you can't understand why I read statements like these and seriously question your intelligence, I can't help you. You keep making crap up and spouting it as truth, and then passing off judgement based on your fantasy land, and it gets annoying. It has been 10-11 years since GF became divorced. In the time since then, there have been two boyfriends that she allowed to move in, each stayed for no more than a year, if that. Do the math, and you're looking at roughly 9 years when it has just been the three of them there. That is hardly someone who 'keeps moving boyfriends in' as you state in your little fantasy world. I've said it multiple times before, and I'll state it again one last time, because you seem to struggle with understanding a simple concept: He doesn't have a problem with me living there. If he had a problem with me living there, I would have never moved in. His hesitancy came when his mother asked him about us getting married. If he's so comfortable with you, then why is he not ok with you being married? Not that you would care anyway. And for someone who thinks I'm so stupid and can't seem to grasp simple concepts, you do seem rather concerned with my observations/comments. Maybe you instead realize that I'm right and it just pisses you right on off. Why else would you make it a point to 'combat' what I say? Other people have stated the same things but you make it a point to respond to me and try to insult me if you can?
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Mar 8, 2016 22:01:47 GMT -5
I would peg a woman who moved in two separate guys with her children who only lasted a year each and a third that has only lasted I believe two someone as the one who dates inappropriate men WAY more than I would peg someone who dated a guy for two years and didn't move him in with her kids. Exactly!
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Mar 8, 2016 22:17:51 GMT -5
Don't be so arrogant to think you represent all women. I respect women, I just don't respect you. Yeah. I must have misconstrued your "grab your ball sack and put your woman in her place" comment in the wedding thread. You're right, you totally respect women. I stand by that comment. He was allowing her to completely disrespect his family, he needed to man tf up, and tell her that isn't okay.
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Mar 8, 2016 22:19:49 GMT -5
Look, I realize by your repeated spouting of untruths that the truth means nothing to you, but if you can't understand why I read statements like these and seriously question your intelligence, I can't help you. You keep making crap up and spouting it as truth, and then passing off judgement based on your fantasy land, and it gets annoying. It has been 10-11 years since GF became divorced. In the time since then, there have been two boyfriends that she allowed to move in, each stayed for no more than a year, if that. Do the math, and you're looking at roughly 9 years when it has just been the three of them there. That is hardly someone who 'keeps moving boyfriends in' as you state in your little fantasy world. I've said it multiple times before, and I'll state it again one last time, because you seem to struggle with understanding a simple concept: He doesn't have a problem with me living there. If he had a problem with me living there, I would have never moved in. His hesitancy came when his mother asked him about us getting married. If he's so comfortable with you, then why is he not ok with you being married? Not that you would care anyway. And for someone who thinks I'm so stupid and can't seem to grasp simple concepts, you do seem rather concerned with my observations/comments. Maybe you instead realize that I'm right and it just pisses you right on off. Why else would you make it a point to 'combat' what I say? Other people have stated the same things but you make it a point to respond to me and try to insult me if you can? Wow, so you draw validation from that fact that someone responds to you on an internet forum? You need help. Please log off and go get it.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Mar 8, 2016 22:28:15 GMT -5
I'm late to the party, but Mid has it spot on. Everyone needs to cool it. There are valid issues that can be discussed without flinging mud.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Mar 8, 2016 22:34:04 GMT -5
If he's so comfortable with you, then why is he not ok with you being married? Not that you would care anyway. And for someone who thinks I'm so stupid and can't seem to grasp simple concepts, you do seem rather concerned with my observations/comments. Maybe you instead realize that I'm right and it just pisses you right on off. Why else would you make it a point to 'combat' what I say? Other people have stated the same things but you make it a point to respond to me and try to insult me if you can? Wow, so you draw validation from that fact that someone responds to you on an internet forum? You need help. Please log off and go get it. Can you read? Did you not see the post of mine about you coming here to get validation and then getting pissed when you don't get it and then disappearing for a minute and then starting the same thread about the same thing? I'm not the one looking for validation, you are. I feel sorry for you. You poor simple creature.
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Works4me
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Someone responded to your personal ad - a German Shepherd named Tara wants to have you for dinner...
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Post by Works4me on Mar 8, 2016 22:45:03 GMT -5
I seldom comment on these things but the bottom line is this: three live-in boyfriends, even over a time period of 10 plus years just too much chaos for raising children.
It probably went something like this: - parents separate and divorce, - regain stability, - boyfriend 1 moves in, - regain stability, - he moves out, - regain stability, - boyfriend 2 moves in, - regain stability, - boyfriend 2 moves out, - regain stability, - Beergut moves in, - rinse and repeat?!...
In addition to the three live-ins, how many other boyfriends did she have? How many other men have spent the night there or even just met them?
Count the years - unfortunately, the entire lives of those three teens has been spent in chaos created by the life choices of their mother. Children need predictability, not a continual revolving door of adults moving in and out of their lives.
Beergut, there is no nice way to say this - you are the latest in a parade of men. Please, get some family counseling for all of you.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Mar 8, 2016 22:48:15 GMT -5
I'm late to the party, but Mid has it spot on. Everyone needs to cool it. There are valid issues that can be discussed without flinging mud. Agreed. So why can't beer disagree with me without calling me stupid and a horrible mother who just does the bare minimum? Or is that ok? Others and I are seriously discussing the issue only to be interrupted with "you are so utterly stupid" and "do you want a cookie since your kids are important to you?" And let's not forget "you must date inappropriate men since you can't introduce your kids after a year or two".
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Mar 8, 2016 23:37:28 GMT -5
This whole situation is why after being divorced for 10 years I still have chosen not to date. I would never put my kids through a situation like this. Sadly, unlike my kids' father.He has remarried, but it is not the greatest relationship with and his wife or the kids, but it has removed the revolving door.
Beergut, there is a lot of dysfunction in this "family" and I wish everyone the best, but you cannot control your gf, only help her, if she chooses to with the financial aspect of her life. And bashing Andi, is totally out of line just because she calls you out on some of your posts.
Ok, I've said my peace, sort of, but I'm not going to get anymore into this discussion....at least for now.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2016 23:50:56 GMT -5
I seldom comment on these things but the bottom line is this: three live-in boyfriends, even over a time period of 10 plus years just too much chaos for raising children. It probably went something like this: - parents separate and divorce, - regain stability, - boyfriend 1 moves in, - regain stability, - he moves out, - regain stability, - boyfriend 2 moves in, - regain stability, - boyfriend 2 moves out, - regain stability, - Beergut moves in, - rinse and repeat?!... In addition to the three live-ins, how many other boyfriends did she have? How many other men have spent the night there or even just met them? Count the years - unfortunately, the entire lives of those three teens has been spent in chaos created by the life choices of their mother. Children need predictability, not a continual revolving door of adults moving in and out of their lives. Beergut, there is no nice way to say this - you are the latest in a parade of men. Please, get some family counseling for all of you. This. You can see it or choose not to, but three live ins in 10 years is a rotating door, not counting the boyfriends who probably existed but didn't move in.
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Mar 9, 2016 4:56:09 GMT -5
I'm late to the party, but Mid has it spot on. Everyone needs to cool it. There are valid issues that can be discussed without flinging mud. Agreed. So why can't beer disagree with me without calling me stupid and a horrible mother who just does the bare minimum? Or is that ok? Others and I are seriously discussing the issue only to be interrupted with "you are so utterly stupid" and "do you want a cookie since your kids are important to you?" And let's not forget "you must date inappropriate men since you can't introduce your kids after a year or two". Don't try to include everyone else here, all of the comments you mentioned were directed at you. If you're going to try to play the victim, at least be honest about it and not try to include everyone else.
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Mar 9, 2016 4:58:53 GMT -5
If anyone ever wanted to know why women don't like or trust other women, they only need to read this thread.
Y'all just can't wait to tear each other apart.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 9, 2016 7:07:22 GMT -5
I didn't see any woman tearing any other woman apart.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Mar 9, 2016 7:32:35 GMT -5
If anyone ever wanted to know why women don't like or trust other women, they only need to read this thread. Y'all just can't wait to tear each other apart. I don't see anyone tearing each other apart in this thread (well, except you and andi). But a lot of us have pointed out that the revolving door of men in the kids lives just isn't healthy. I'm sure it is difficult for you to see it because you dont' have kids and will never understand the need to put your children's well being above your own. The fact that she has moved a few men in, even over a long time span, tells me she makes bad choices when it comes to men. Those poor kids have not known stability because your gf puts her need of a man above her children's needs.
It isn't just Andi saying this, those you seem to keep targeting her. Read the thread...pretty much everyone on here is saying that same thing. It isn't an attack on you, just an observation that a woman without some of her own issues wouldn't move men in and out like that with kids in the picture.
You can start attacking me if you wish but I won't respond. But you really do need to take a step back and see what we are all telling you on here.
ETA: it appears that I can no longer spell....I don't care enough to edit
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 9, 2016 7:36:30 GMT -5
But her low self esteem works for these men. At least for awhile. But then they either move on or start to criticize.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Mar 9, 2016 8:27:11 GMT -5
Agreed. So why can't beer disagree with me without calling me stupid and a horrible mother who just does the bare minimum? Or is that ok? Others and I are seriously discussing the issue only to be interrupted with "you are so utterly stupid" and "do you want a cookie since your kids are important to you?" And let's not forget "you must date inappropriate men since you can't introduce your kids after a year or two". Don't try to include everyone else here, all of the comments you mentioned were directed at you. If you're going to try to play the victim, at least be honest about it and not try to include everyone else. Oh lord. You're just arguing with me just to be arguing. As MT pointed out, everyone else is telling you the same thing as me, you're just choosing to try and argue with me. You do that to your girl at home too, don't you? I bet if we asked her she would say yes.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Mar 9, 2016 8:29:20 GMT -5
But her low self esteem works for these men. At least for awhile. But then they either move on or start to criticize. Abusers generally go for the weak ones.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Mar 9, 2016 9:24:08 GMT -5
smh....
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Mar 9, 2016 9:56:43 GMT -5
In all honesty, nobody really knows the situation. This went from a post about a $500 prom dress to an attack on a woman who has never posted here and we know nothing about. Maybe the word attack is too harsh, but the comments about a revolving door of men and providing an unstable life for her kids seems really judgmental. With 4 kids and maintaining a good job, she is probably doing the best she can. And, while I don't agree with BG not paying fair market rent and bills still after 2 years- that's not a personal attack.
Good luck Beergut. For what it's worth, I think you're a trooper for sticking around and putting up with your threads swirling like this.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Mar 9, 2016 10:34:50 GMT -5
Yeah, I'm not sure this is really a case of revolving door that many are jumping on here. Here is true case of revolving door, when my xSIL left my brother, she moved in with one POS. She filed a PPO against my brother at the same time, so there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. She left POS guy, and moved in with another, whom she eventually married and then divorced within a year. Apparently, he was somewhat abusive? (My DB never touched her, but she kept managing to get PPOs against him for no reason.) She cheated on her 2nd husband with her current live-in BF. This has all happened in about 7 years. She was never alone for more than a week or 2 if at all, and there was absolutely nothing my DB could do about the kids, as she had primary custody. She ignored the custody orders (my DBs time) throughout. He has always gotten the kids whenever it was convenient for her, regardless of the judges orders. She moved an hour away, and could have moved 8 hours away with the kids, and it would have been my DBs fault if he couldn't see them. Fortunately, DB and xSIL are getting along fine now. Her BF thanked my DB for stepping up lately. DB told me that, and I was like, WTF? He always wanted to see his kids--it was xSIL who was preventing it.
So, BGs GF doesn't seem so bad to me in comparison.
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Mar 9, 2016 11:08:59 GMT -5
If anyone ever wanted to know why women don't like or trust other women, they only need to read this thread. Y'all just can't wait to tear each other apart. Huh?
It's been pointed out your gf has made some bad choices when it comes to personal relationships. That's not tearing her apart.
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Mar 9, 2016 11:10:55 GMT -5
Yeah, I'm not sure this is really a case of revolving door that many are jumping on here. Here is true case of revolving door, when my xSIL left my brother, she moved in with one POS. She filed a PPO against my brother at the same time, so there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. She left POS guy, and moved in with another, whom she eventually married and then divorced within a year. Apparently, he was somewhat abusive? (My DB never touched her, but she kept managing to get PPOs against him for no reason.) She cheated on her 2nd husband with her current live-in BF. This has all happened in about 7 years. She was never alone for more than a week or 2 if at all, and there was absolutely nothing my DB could do about the kids, as she had primary custody. She ignored the custody orders (my DBs time) throughout. He has always gotten the kids whenever it was convenient for her, regardless of the judges orders. She moved an hour away, and could have moved 8 hours away with the kids, and it would have been my DBs fault if he couldn't see them. Fortunately, DB and xSIL are getting along fine now. Her BF thanked my DB for stepping up lately. DB told me that, and I was like, WTF? He always wanted to see his kids--it was xSIL who was preventing it. So, BGs GF doesn't seem so bad to me in comparison. well, yeah, I've seen worse, but I hang out in family court. It's a low bar
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justme
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Post by justme on Mar 9, 2016 11:13:14 GMT -5
I don't really think it's as bad as it could be, I just got my feathers rankled when he was attacking andi saying she dates inappropriate men because in a two year relationship she hadn't introduced him to her kids.
I just find choosing boyfriends that only stick around for a year of living with young kids way more deserving of the inappropriate title. Especially when he's outright admitted that one traumatized her son! So attacking andi when she chose not to introduce a bf to her kids when the guy bgs gf let live with her kids traumatized one of hers? It baffles my mind.
Introducing and letting that guy live with her children is the direct reason her son was traumatized. Andis kids were not traumatized by a bf because she chose to keep them away from her kids (not that I'm saying the guys she dates would have).
Eta if a live in bf of mine ever traumatized one of my children I don't think I would even think about letting someone live with me again until my children were grown. My child was traumatized and needs to know that his home is his safe place and that I would never screw that up for him again.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Mar 9, 2016 11:16:58 GMT -5
At this point he's just grasping at straws to try and find something to attack me with or insult me. I gotta wonder if he does this at home when he doesn't get his way.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Mar 9, 2016 12:32:07 GMT -5
Yeah, I'm not sure this is really a case of revolving door that many are jumping on here. Here is true case of revolving door, when my xSIL left my brother, she moved in with one POS. She filed a PPO against my brother at the same time, so there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. She left POS guy, and moved in with another, whom she eventually married and then divorced within a year. Apparently, he was somewhat abusive? (My DB never touched her, but she kept managing to get PPOs against him for no reason.) She cheated on her 2nd husband with her current live-in BF. This has all happened in about 7 years. She was never alone for more than a week or 2 if at all, and there was absolutely nothing my DB could do about the kids, as she had primary custody. She ignored the custody orders (my DBs time) throughout. He has always gotten the kids whenever it was convenient for her, regardless of the judges orders. She moved an hour away, and could have moved 8 hours away with the kids, and it would have been my DBs fault if he couldn't see them. Fortunately, DB and xSIL are getting along fine now. Her BF thanked my DB for stepping up lately. DB told me that, and I was like, WTF? He always wanted to see his kids--it was xSIL who was preventing it. So, BGs GF doesn't seem so bad to me in comparison. well, yeah, I've seen worse, but I hang out in family court. It's a low bar Yeah, there's that, but even with all the BS, my xSIL isn't a terrible mom. Too impulsive, for sure, but she does care about her kids. BGs GF probably isn't a terrible mom, either, despite too much upheaval with the live-ins.
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mmhmm
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It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
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Post by mmhmm on Mar 9, 2016 13:14:55 GMT -5
beergut and andi9899, I'm going to suggest the two of you put one another on Ignore. Others are participating in this thread and speaking to the issue under discussion. I'm sure they'd rather not have to wade through the personal battle-posts between the two of you. It's disruptive to the ongoing discussion. If it continues, the thread will be locked which is a shame as what's being discussed here isn't an issue faced by only the OP. It's a fact of life in way too many households. mmhmm, Administrator
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Mar 9, 2016 13:29:37 GMT -5
beergut and andi9899, I'm going to suggest the two of you put one another on Ignore. Others are participating in this thread and speaking to the issue under discussion. I'm sure they'd rather not have to wade through the personal battle-posts between the two of you. It's disruptive to the ongoing discussion. If it continues, the thread will be locked which is a shame as what's being discussed here isn't an issue faced by only the OP. It's a fact of life in way too many households. mmhmm, Administrator I'm discussing the topic with the others here as well. And I have been defending myself and beer has been doing the attacking of me. ETA: But yes, I will comply with not starting anything. I will not be disrespected though.
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mmhmm
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It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
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Post by mmhmm on Mar 9, 2016 13:32:49 GMT -5
beergut and andi9899 , I'm going to suggest the two of you put one another on Ignore. Others are participating in this thread and speaking to the issue under discussion. I'm sure they'd rather not have to wade through the personal battle-posts between the two of you. It's disruptive to the ongoing discussion. If it continues, the thread will be locked which is a shame as what's being discussed here isn't an issue faced by only the OP. It's a fact of life in way too many households. mmhmm, Administrator I'm discussing the topic with the others here as well. And I have been defending myself and beer has been doing the attacking of me. I'm aware, andi. However, rather than defending yourself with further insults, it would seem better to simply ignore the insults coming from beergut. The best alternative would be to use the Report function to report said insults to staff and we'll deal with them, and beergut. mmhmm, Administrator
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Mar 9, 2016 13:35:43 GMT -5
I'm discussing the topic with the others here as well. And I have been defending myself and beer has been doing the attacking of me. I'm aware, andi. However, rather than defending yourself with further insults, it would seem better to simply ignore the insults coming from beergut. The best alternative would be to use the Report function to report said insults to staff and we'll deal with them, and beergut. mmhmm, Administrator Right on. I just didn't report anything thinking that I'm a big girl and can handle myself. But I get what you're saying.
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