quince
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Post by quince on Mar 7, 2016 11:35:49 GMT -5
Yeah, my mom asked us before she remarried, because we were young enough that he was going to be a big part of our lives, and old enough to have an opinion on our lives. "Hey, here is NewDad" does not cut it.
On the other hand, she dated who she wanted, because where it didn't impact us, not our business.
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Mar 7, 2016 15:49:45 GMT -5
You obviously didn't understand what I meant by "Can she afford it?" She's doling out $150 a week of the child support off the top. That's a lot. Of course, only you two know if she was already spending that. Keep us posted, beergut . I'd like to know how it turns out. I wouldn't say it is a lot. My brother pays more for child support for his one kid than deadbeat bio-dad does for three, and my brother has joint custody. Bio-dad is getting off very easy. When I first suggested she try this idea, I asked if the child support was going to any monthly expenses, because I wanted to make sure she could afford it before I even told her my suggestion. It wasn't going toward any set expenses, it was just being spent on 'wants' for the kids.
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bobosensei
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Post by bobosensei on Mar 7, 2016 15:54:31 GMT -5
I only read the first page, but I think 500 is too much given that the mom is constantly in financial trouble. I went to 5 proms in high school (between 96 and 2000) and I never spent more than 120 on a dress. I attend formal events regularly, and 250 is my absolute ceiling on a dress though I try to spend less than 180. I frequently check J Crew and other retailers for their sales and only buy the dresses when they are at least 60% off. I wear the same dress over when I am at events with different people.
I do my own hair and makeup and wear pretty much the same jewelry, shoes, and the same couple of bags and wraps over and over.
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Mar 7, 2016 16:13:33 GMT -5
In the 7 year (think that is how long it was) period between the time she and bio-dad divorced and the time she met me, GF had two different boyfriends. 14YO doesn't trust me because he had a very bad experience with one of them, so he doesn't trust men. This has been an issue with him when he played sports, and the coach was a male. Is it fair that I'm automatically judged because of his experience with other men? No. But that's life, so you deal with it. But, if you subscribe to andi9899 's theory, you are a prisoner to what your children want when you're a parent, and your ability to make decisions outside their opinions is nil. I don't believe I ever said that. I run the show in my house. But I would never move some guy into my house that my kid wasn't comfortable with. Especially having young impressionable girls in my house. Hell I've dated guys for a couple of years or longer that had never even met my kids. In my house mommy doesn't keep a revolving door of men running through it and none of them would ever be anywhere near a priority over my children. A dyck is a dime a dozen. My children are the most important people in my life. Since you seem to have forgotten already: FYI, he didn't have an issue with me moving in. The subject of trust came up when GF talked to him about the future possibility of us getting married. Two previous relationships had lasted a year or longer and hadn't worked out, so he was skeptical about anything lasting longer than a year. Since you were dating inappropriate men, I'm sure it is a good thing they never met your children. Hard to have a 'revolving door' if you're always going to their place or a hotel because you never bring them home. To quote Chris Rock, "What, you want a cookie?" Your children are supposed to be the most important people in your life if you're a parent (especially if you're a mother), you don't get kudos for fulfilling the lowest of expectations.
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Post by mojothehelpermonkey on Mar 7, 2016 16:16:10 GMT -5
I was leaning towards GF is entitled to a love-life and the child doesn't get to determine whether or not that happens until I read the bolded statement. She made a huge mistake inviting you to move in. That's not a reflection on you or your character but a reflection on hers. She has a child who was traumatized by a boyfriend and then she moves in another one? That's ridiculous. Yeah, that's definitely not cool. I don't know you'd feel comfortable there knowing that, beergut. This whole situation makes me sad. I think they should stay together because if they break up, who knows who will move in next.
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Mar 7, 2016 16:19:38 GMT -5
I don't believe I ever said that. I run the show in my house. But I would never move some guy into my house that my kid wasn't comfortable with. Especially having young impressionable girls in my house. Hell I've dated guys for a couple of years or longer that had never even met my kids. In my house mommy doesn't keep a revolving door of men running through it and none of them would ever be anywhere near a priority over my children. A dyck is a dime a dozen. My children are the most important people in my life. I've only been separated/divorced for about 17 months. I have been dating a guy now for a little over 3 months and I have no intentions of introducing him to my youngest anytime soon. She is not ok with me dating at this point. They are with their dad 50% of the time so I have my own life when they are gone. when they are with me, my number one priority is being their mom. They didn't choose to be kids of broken homes so it is my responsibility to make them feel secure and loved above all else. Luckily this guy understands that...and actually praises me for putting my children's needs above my own. Said he has seen too many of his friends' exes because selfish twats once they divorced.
If a guy can't understand that kids of divorce are vulnerable, well that is his issue and proves he isn't worth my time. I did have one guy have an issue with that...it was a short lived relationship because any man that thinks a new relationship should come above my children just isn't worth my time. Of course, this was a guy that never had children so he truly didn't understand. My general rule for dating women with kids is that I didn't want to meet their children until we had been dating at least a year. If we're still dating after a year, then the kids can meet mommy's friend. No need to let them get attached and then have them suffer a loss if it doesn't work out. After a year, you should have a pretty good idea if the relationship is going somewhere, and this is someone you want to meet your kids.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Mar 7, 2016 16:40:12 GMT -5
I don't believe I ever said that. I run the show in my house. But I would never move some guy into my house that my kid wasn't comfortable with. Especially having young impressionable girls in my house. Hell I've dated guys for a couple of years or longer that had never even met my kids. In my house mommy doesn't keep a revolving door of men running through it and none of them would ever be anywhere near a priority over my children. A dyck is a dime a dozen. My children are the most important people in my life. Since you seem to have forgotten already: FYI, he didn't have an issue with me moving in. The subject of trust came up when GF talked to him about the future possibility of us getting married. Two previous relationships had lasted a year or longer and hadn't worked out, so he was skeptical about anything lasting longer than a year. Since you were dating inappropriate men, I'm sure it is a good thing they never met your children. Hard to have a 'revolving door' if you're always going to their place or a hotel because you never bring them home. To quote Chris Rock, "What, you want a cookie?" Your children are supposed to be the most important people in your life if you're a parent (especially if you're a mother), you don't get kudos for fulfilling the lowest of expectations. Where do you get that I was dating inappropriate men? Maybe you should work on your reading comprehension. I think you're just looking for anything to try and make yourself look right and everyone else wrong. Get over yourself. When children are involved, a situation becomes way more complicated and the adults don't take priority anymore. But you don't have children, so you couldn't even begin to understand. And if you have no problems and are in such control, why do you keep starting threads with bragplaints about how your girl thinks you are an ATM and so do her kids?
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Mar 7, 2016 16:41:10 GMT -5
I was leaning towards GF is entitled to a love-life and the child doesn't get to determine whether or not that happens until I read the bolded statement. She made a huge mistake inviting you to move in. That's not a reflection on you or your character but a reflection on hers. She has a child who was traumatized by a boyfriend and then she moves in another one? That's ridiculous. Yeah, that's definitely not cool. I don't know you'd feel comfortable there knowing that, beergut. I had to go back and correct the years, because I think the timetable is off, iirc. What happened to him happened at least a decade ago, because he was 2-3 when they met. At some point, he has to get over what happened to him over half his lifetime ago. I figure he'll eventually figure out I'm not leaving like those other guys did, and learn to trust me. We have made tremendous progress since we met when he was 12.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Mar 7, 2016 16:46:52 GMT -5
Good... so you're not leaving? Even if you and GF never see eye to eye on finances?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 7, 2016 16:50:01 GMT -5
If that is the case and abandonment he issue, marriage commitment might actually improve the situation ...
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Mar 7, 2016 16:52:02 GMT -5
Since you seem to have forgotten already: FYI, he didn't have an issue with me moving in. The subject of trust came up when GF talked to him about the future possibility of us getting married. Two previous relationships had lasted a year or longer and hadn't worked out, so he was skeptical about anything lasting longer than a year. Since you were dating inappropriate men, I'm sure it is a good thing they never met your children. Hard to have a 'revolving door' if you're always going to their place or a hotel because you never bring them home. To quote Chris Rock, "What, you want a cookie?" Your children are supposed to be the most important people in your life if you're a parent (especially if you're a mother), you don't get kudos for fulfilling the lowest of expectations. Where do you get that I was dating inappropriate men? Maybe you should work on your reading comprehension. I think you're just looking for anything to try and make yourself look right and everyone else wrong. Get over yourself. When children are involved, a situation becomes way more complicated and the adults don't take priority anymore. But you don't have children, so you couldn't even begin to understand. And if you have no problems and are in such control, why do you keep starting threads with bragplaints about how your girl thinks you are an ATM and so do her kids? When you are dating a man for two or more years and don't think he is good enough to bring home to introduce to your kids, you're dating someone inappropriate. When you're dating a man who doesn't want to meet your kids after two or more years, you're dating someone who is only interested in nailing you. If you don't see how that is inappropriate, I can't help you. I'm not 'looking' for anything, a discussion about prom dresses evolved to a discussion about allowances/budgeting, and now you're making it about your insatiable need to 'win' on the internet. You are a woman who thinks you're special because 'you take care of yours' and 'you put your kids first'. You're not special when you're doing the bare minimum, and you're not special when you created your own hardship. I don't even know why you keep posting on this thread, given your background, your judgement is beyond questionable, which I've told you before.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 7, 2016 16:52:59 GMT -5
I don't believe I ever said that. I run the show in my house. But I would never move some guy into my house that my kid wasn't comfortable with. Especially having young impressionable girls in my house. Hell I've dated guys for a couple of years or longer that had never even met my kids. In my house mommy doesn't keep a revolving door of men running through it and none of them would ever be anywhere near a priority over my children. A dyck is a dime a dozen. My children are the most important people in my life. Since you seem to have forgotten already: FYI, he didn't have an issue with me moving in. The subject of trust came up when GF talked to him about the future possibility of us getting married. Two previous relationships had lasted a year or longer and hadn't worked out, so he was skeptical about anything lasting longer than a year. Since you were dating inappropriate men, I'm sure it is a good thing they never met your children. Hard to have a 'revolving door' if you're always going to their place or a hotel because you never bring them home. To quote Chris Rock, "What, you want a cookie?" Your children are supposed to be the most important people in your life if you're a parent (especially if you're a mother), you don't get kudos for fulfilling the lowest of expectations. Maybe you should be lecturing girlfriend on 'lowest of expectations' ... You Name that will get me booted...
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Mar 7, 2016 16:57:29 GMT -5
Good... so you're not leaving? Even if you and GF never see eye to eye on finances? We've already agreed that we'll have a joint account for expenses and separate accounts for 'wants' once we get married. I figure we'll work out the more concrete details after we're engaged, which will hopefully settle most of the financial issues. If we can get the emergency fund put in the joint account, and see commits to that arrangement, I think we'll be okay. If all of the needs are paid for every month, I don't think I'll care if she blows through her paycheck outside of that.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Mar 7, 2016 17:14:05 GMT -5
Where do you get that I was dating inappropriate men? Maybe you should work on your reading comprehension. I think you're just looking for anything to try and make yourself look right and everyone else wrong. Get over yourself. When children are involved, a situation becomes way more complicated and the adults don't take priority anymore. But you don't have children, so you couldn't even begin to understand. And if you have no problems and are in such control, why do you keep starting threads with bragplaints about how your girl thinks you are an ATM and so do her kids? When you are dating a man for two or more years and don't think he is good enough to bring home to introduce to your kids, you're dating someone inappropriate. When you're dating a man who doesn't want to meet your kids after two or more years, you're dating someone who is only interested in nailing you. If you don't see how that is inappropriate, I can't help you. I'm not 'looking' for anything, a discussion about prom dresses evolved to a discussion about allowances/budgeting, and now you're making it about your insatiable need to 'win' on the internet. You are a woman who thinks you're special because 'you take care of yours' and 'you put your kids first'. You're not special when you're doing the bare minimum, and you're not special when you created your own hardship. I don't even know why you keep posting on this thread, given your background, your judgement is beyond questionable, which I've told you before. Who said I never thought anyone was good enough? I don't want to ever get married, so why introduce these people to my children. And as far as what you think you know about me, you're wrong. You are so off the mark it's actually pretty pitiful. And I never said it had some need to 'win', you said that. So eff you very much. As far as where I post, I can post anywhere I damn well please. If you don't want to hear other people's opinions, stop creating your bragplaint threads about the same thing over and over again. Everyone has given you lots of useful advice which you ignore and then instead create yet another thread about the same thing on a different day.
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resolution
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Post by resolution on Mar 7, 2016 17:22:36 GMT -5
Good... so you're not leaving? Even if you and GF never see eye to eye on finances? We've already agreed that we'll have a joint account for expenses and separate accounts for 'wants' once we get married. I figure we'll work out the more concrete details after we're engaged, which will hopefully settle most of the financial issues. If we can get the emergency fund put in the joint account, and see commits to that arrangement, I think we'll be okay. If all of the needs are paid for every month, I don't think I'll care if she blows through her paycheck outside of that. With her history of spending, you may want to have the emergency fund somewhere a little less accessible, like a joint account in one of those internet banks that take a few days to give you the money. That way she doesn't see a large balance in the joint checking and feel like she can relax and spend.
I may be projecting because that is one of my money flaws, that if I have a big pile of money in the bank I think I can afford this and this and this. But if it is set to the side where I don't see it, I can budget and be frugal with the lower balance that I see in my daily account.
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Mar 7, 2016 19:49:56 GMT -5
When you are dating a man for two or more years and don't think he is good enough to bring home to introduce to your kids, you're dating someone inappropriate. When you're dating a man who doesn't want to meet your kids after two or more years, you're dating someone who is only interested in nailing you. If you don't see how that is inappropriate, I can't help you. I'm not 'looking' for anything, a discussion about prom dresses evolved to a discussion about allowances/budgeting, and now you're making it about your insatiable need to 'win' on the internet. You are a woman who thinks you're special because 'you take care of yours' and 'you put your kids first'. You're not special when you're doing the bare minimum, and you're not special when you created your own hardship. I don't even know why you keep posting on this thread, given your background, your judgement is beyond questionable, which I've told you before. Who said I never thought anyone was good enough? I don't want to ever get married, so why introduce these people to my children. And as far as what you think you know about me, you're wrong. You are so off the mark it's actually pretty pitiful. And I never said it had some need to 'win', you said that. So eff you very much. As far as where I post, I can post anywhere I damn well please. If you don't want to hear other people's opinions, stop creating your bragplaint threads about the same thing over and over again. Everyone has given you lots of useful advice which you ignore and then instead create yet another thread about the same thing on a different day. You don't have to say it, your actions indicate it. So you've never wanted to get married? Was the father of your children good enough to marry, or did you just date him because you wanted to get pregnant? Did he know you had no intention of getting married when he found out you were pregnant? It just seems to me that you've made a lot of questionable decisions in your past, yet you still feel free to judge, which is laughable considering your history. You continue to make questionable decisions, and yet you still judge. From this point of view, you are incredibly lacking in self-awareness. You didn't have to say anything about needing to 'win', your posting history indicates this trait. You seem to really suffer when attempting to understand what a 'bragplaint' is. When milee posts about her son being a booger because he got a job and figured out how to use public transportation to get to work, that is a bragplaint. She's really low-key bragging about how ambitious her son is, and how proud she is of him. There is nothing wrong with that. There is a huge difference between that and me venting about an issue over money. If you think asking 'how much to too much to pay for a prom dress?' is a 'bragplaint', you're clearly the one who struggles with reading comprehension.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Mar 7, 2016 20:32:15 GMT -5
Who said I never thought anyone was good enough? I don't want to ever get married, so why introduce these people to my children. And as far as what you think you know about me, you're wrong. You are so off the mark it's actually pretty pitiful. And I never said it had some need to 'win', you said that. So eff you very much. As far as where I post, I can post anywhere I damn well please. If you don't want to hear other people's opinions, stop creating your bragplaint threads about the same thing over and over again. Everyone has given you lots of useful advice which you ignore and then instead create yet another thread about the same thing on a different day. You don't have to say it, your actions indicate it. So you've never wanted to get married? Was the father of your children good enough to marry, or did you just date him because you wanted to get pregnant? Did he know you had no intention of getting married when he found out you were pregnant? It just seems to me that you've made a lot of questionable decisions in your past, yet you still feel free to judge, which is laughable considering your history. You continue to make questionable decisions, and yet you still judge. From this point of view, you are incredibly lacking in self-awareness. You didn't have to say anything about needing to 'win', your posting history indicates this trait. You seem to really suffer when attempting to understand what a 'bragplaint' is. When milee posts about her son being a booger because he got a job and figured out how to use public transportation to get to work, that is a bragplaint. She's really low-key bragging about how ambitious her son is, and how proud she is of him. There is nothing wrong with that. There is a huge difference between that and me venting about an issue over money. If you think asking 'how much to too much to pay for a prom dress?' is a 'bragplaint', you're clearly the one who struggles with reading comprehension. What my intentions were when I got with my children's father is irrelevant. I'm not starting threads about it. And how would you know what decisions I've made in my past? You weren't there for them nor have I shared them with you. You have your own ideas about me and that's ok. They don't really matter. Especially since you're wrong. And if there's anything that I am,it's self aware. If you don't like someone commenting on your thread, don't start one. If you start one, understand that you will get comments that you may or may not like. If you portray yourself as an asshole like you do here, you'll likely get more of the comments you don't like. It's a public forum and not everyone is going to think that you're right. Especially when you complain about things that are completely fixable and you refuse to fix them.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 7, 2016 21:19:07 GMT -5
From this point of view, you are incredibly lacking in self-awareness. That's so rich I may vomit...
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justme
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Post by justme on Mar 7, 2016 22:04:27 GMT -5
But it's not a questionable decision to move into a home where you know the son isn't comfortable with you moving in due to his experiences in his past? Or continuing to get mad about the same damn things but continuing to stay? Or saying, as you did on another thread, that once you're married and do needs/wants accounts everything that makes you mad about her spending will be fixed? Like she won't still ask for money when she runs out? Or steadfastly refusing to tell your live-in gf what it would take for you to marry her - which you know she wants - and instead watch her while she takes a test she doesn't know? We all have questionable decisions in our life - but damning andi for not wanting men in her life around her kids unless she wants to marry them is really puzzling. I bet your gfs son would have been a lot better off if she didn't bring those other guys around until they were getting married to her. I bet there's a lot of kids out there that would be better off if their parents made the decision to only bring people once they are fully committed into their lives instead of a revolving door of 3+ men/women.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 7, 2016 22:07:19 GMT -5
Of course, to be fair, just cause you marry them doesn't mean there still won't be a revolving door
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justme
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Post by justme on Mar 7, 2016 22:18:16 GMT -5
Touche! But one would hope it might slow the tide a bit. Usually.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 7, 2016 22:22:53 GMT -5
Definitely! Divorces can take a long time... I've only had 5 stepmothers in 37 years.
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justme
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Post by justme on Mar 7, 2016 22:23:51 GMT -5
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Mar 7, 2016 23:47:53 GMT -5
I'm so confused. It's like I'm reading a totally different thread than some of you.
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Mar 8, 2016 1:03:30 GMT -5
But it's not a questionable decision to move into a home where you know the son isn't comfortable with you moving in due to his experiences in his past?Or continuing to get mad about the same damn things but continuing to stay? Or saying, as you did on another thread, that once you're married and do needs/wants accounts everything that makes you mad about her spending will be fixed? Like she won't still ask for money when she runs out? Or steadfastly refusing to tell your live-in gf what it would take for you to marry her - which you know she wants - and instead watch her while she takes a test she doesn't know? We all have questionable decisions in our life - but damning andi for not wanting men in her life around her kids unless she wants to marry them is really puzzling. I bet your gfs son would have been a lot better off if she didn't bring those other guys around until they were getting married to her. I bet there's a lot of kids out there that would be better off if their parents made the decision to only bring people once they are fully committed into their lives instead of a revolving door of 3+ men/women. He didn't have an issue with me moving in, the issue of trust came up when she asked about how he felt about her getting married again. It isn't like there is some checklist that I'm ticking off every day on whether or not I'm going to marry GF, like this is some huge test. I don't grade her every day and say, "Nope, not gonna marry her, she screwed up in areas 5,9, and 12 today." I'm not damning andi for not wanting men in her life around her kids, I'm damning her because she's made questionable decisions in her own life, yet she feels free to judge others. I'm damning her because she's screwed up, yet she still thinks she can judge others like she hasn't made mistakes in her past.
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Mar 8, 2016 1:07:25 GMT -5
You don't have to say it, your actions indicate it. So you've never wanted to get married? Was the father of your children good enough to marry, or did you just date him because you wanted to get pregnant? Did he know you had no intention of getting married when he found out you were pregnant? It just seems to me that you've made a lot of questionable decisions in your past, yet you still feel free to judge, which is laughable considering your history. You continue to make questionable decisions, and yet you still judge. From this point of view, you are incredibly lacking in self-awareness. You didn't have to say anything about needing to 'win', your posting history indicates this trait. You seem to really suffer when attempting to understand what a 'bragplaint' is. When milee posts about her son being a booger because he got a job and figured out how to use public transportation to get to work, that is a bragplaint. She's really low-key bragging about how ambitious her son is, and how proud she is of him. There is nothing wrong with that. There is a huge difference between that and me venting about an issue over money. If you think asking 'how much to too much to pay for a prom dress?' is a 'bragplaint', you're clearly the one who struggles with reading comprehension. What my intentions were when I got with my children's father is irrelevant. I'm not starting threads about it. And how would you know what decisions I've made in my past? You weren't there for them nor have I shared them with you. You have your own ideas about me and that's ok. They don't really matter. Especially since you're wrong. And if there's anything that I am,it's self aware.
If you don't like someone commenting on your thread, don't start one. If you start one, understand that you will get comments that you may or may not like. If you portray yourself as an asshole like you do here, you'll likely get more of the comments you don't like. It's a public forum and not everyone is going to think that you're right. Especially when you complain about things that are completely fixable and you refuse to fix them. Then why are you so quick to judge when you yourself have made mistakes? There is nothing wrong with making mistakes, everyone does it, but not everyone sits around afterward and judges others like they're perfect, which you do. I don't have a problem with people commenting on my threads, many people offer a different insight or something to ponder. I do have a problem with people who lack intelligence continually spewing idiocy. Try to figure out which group you fall in.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Mar 8, 2016 6:55:49 GMT -5
What my intentions were when I got with my children's father is irrelevant. I'm not starting threads about it. And how would you know what decisions I've made in my past? You weren't there for them nor have I shared them with you. You have your own ideas about me and that's ok. They don't really matter. Especially since you're wrong. And if there's anything that I am,it's self aware.
If you don't like someone commenting on your thread, don't start one. If you start one, understand that you will get comments that you may or may not like. If you portray yourself as an asshole like you do here, you'll likely get more of the comments you don't like. It's a public forum and not everyone is going to think that you're right. Especially when you complain about things that are completely fixable and you refuse to fix them. Then why are you so quick to judge when you yourself have made mistakes? There is nothing wrong with making mistakes, everyone does it, but not everyone sits around afterward and judges others like they're perfect, which you do. I don't have a problem with people commenting on my threads, many people offer a different insight or something to ponder. I do have a problem with people who lack intelligence continually spewing idiocy. Try to figure out which group you fall in. Can you quote where I said that I never make a mistake? You're right, everyone does. But own it and then work through it and move on. Don't come here looking for validation and then when you don't get it, throw a tantrum and then disappear for a while only to start another thread later about the same thing. You're still not going to get validation. So maybe take a step back and look at the whole situation and identify what the issues are and work on them instead of complaining. You are the only one that can fix you. Your GF is the only one that can fix her. The sooner you get that through your skull, the faster you two can get down to working it out. Why is that so hard to understand? Also maybe work with a professional on your anger issues and your attitude towards women. Pot, meet kettle.
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andi9899
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Joined: Dec 6, 2011 10:22:29 GMT -5
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Post by andi9899 on Mar 8, 2016 7:05:36 GMT -5
But it's not a questionable decision to move into a home where you know the son isn't comfortable with you moving in due to his experiences in his past?Or continuing to get mad about the same damn things but continuing to stay? Or saying, as you did on another thread, that once you're married and do needs/wants accounts everything that makes you mad about her spending will be fixed? Like she won't still ask for money when she runs out? Or steadfastly refusing to tell your live-in gf what it would take for you to marry her - which you know she wants - and instead watch her while she takes a test she doesn't know? We all have questionable decisions in our life - but damning andi for not wanting men in her life around her kids unless she wants to marry them is really puzzling. I bet your gfs son would have been a lot better off if she didn't bring those other guys around until they were getting married to her. I bet there's a lot of kids out there that would be better off if their parents made the decision to only bring people once they are fully committed into their lives instead of a revolving door of 3+ men/women. He didn't have an issue with me moving in, the issue of trust came up when she asked about how he felt about her getting married again. It isn't like there is some checklist that I'm ticking off every day on whether or not I'm going to marry GF, like this is some huge test. I don't grade her every day and say, "Nope, not gonna marry her, she screwed up in areas 5,9, and 12 today." I'm not damning andi for not wanting men in her life around her kids, I'm damning her because she's made questionable decisions in her own life, yet she feels free to judge others. I'm damning her because she's screwed up, yet she still thinks she can judge others like she hasn't made mistakes in her past. Whoa. I totally missed this post before. You don't know that I have made questionable decisions in my past. You don't know anything about me but that you don't like me because I stand up to you. That's ok. I don't much like you either. But deflecting onto me when you don't hear what you want to hear isn't going to get your problems solved. You need to fix you and worry about how to get your life in order. And whoever said I screwed my life up. I for one, happen to love my life. I truly do hope that one day you can say the same. Everyone deserves to be able to say that.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 8, 2016 7:17:18 GMT -5
I'm wondering what kind of biological father thinks it's okay for his children to live like that?
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andi9899
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Joined: Dec 6, 2011 10:22:29 GMT -5
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Post by andi9899 on Mar 8, 2016 7:21:05 GMT -5
Likely he doesn't know the full extent of what is going on and even if he did, there's not a whole lot he can do about it unless he can prove that the children are in danger. You can't ask a judge for a change in custody because mom's BF is hounding her about a budget.
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