Shooby
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2013 0:32:36 GMT -5
Posts: 14,782
Mini-Profile Name Color: 1cf04f
|
Post by Shooby on Jan 15, 2016 8:57:56 GMT -5
Silence is golden. His 911 emergencies in life are not your problem. Piss poor planning of his own life is not your problem. Don't play.
|
|
Knee Deep in Water Chloe
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 27, 2010 21:04:44 GMT -5
Posts: 14,244
Mini-Profile Name Color: 1980e6
|
Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Jan 15, 2016 9:32:29 GMT -5
I married the girl I wanted to be married to, and it turns out I was right. I just assumed that's the way it works. Reading here, I find that this usually isn't the case. Well, you know what happens when one assumes.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 10:19:06 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2016 9:36:21 GMT -5
I guess I really did hit the marriage lottery! 20 years now, and my wife keeps getting better. You did, and a good portion of that is luck so stop acting like it was all good management.
|
|
OldCoyote
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 10:34:48 GMT -5
Posts: 13,449
|
Post by OldCoyote on Jan 15, 2016 9:56:21 GMT -5
Don't beat up Greg because he may have found something that you have not.
My wife and I still like each other, even after fifty years, It is the small things, I never forget an anniversary or her birthday.
I open her car door for her, many times a day I say things that make her laugh, just like the comment about me being almost perfect. we both know that is not true.
If we have an argument, which does happen, she is quick to drop what ever it was , me I carry a grudge, but because she quick to move on I feel guilty , soon drop what ever it was.
People are too quick to see the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. when it probably not so green.
It most likely helps that I work so much, She doesn't have to put up with me all day.
|
|
ArchietheDragon
Junior Associate
Joined: Jul 7, 2014 14:29:23 GMT -5
Posts: 6,379
|
Post by ArchietheDragon on Jan 15, 2016 10:01:37 GMT -5
I married the girl I wanted to be married to, and it turns out I was right. I just assumed that's the way it works. Reading here, I find that this usually isn't the case. Maybe she is scared of asking for a divorce (you know, because of all the guns)
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 10:19:06 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2016 10:02:19 GMT -5
No one is beating up Greg for that.
|
|
bean29
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 22:26:57 GMT -5
Posts: 10,201
|
Post by bean29 on Jan 15, 2016 10:13:57 GMT -5
Chloe, I am wondering if your perception that filing bankruptcy would adversely affect your DH's position. I know in Wisconsin/Milwaukee there have occasionally been individuals who ran for public office who had filed bankruptcy. I honestly don't recollect how many of them gained public office or lost public office for that reason though. Wondering if other posters agree that it is a bad path for you to go down?
I know you have discussed this in the past, maybe on WIR, so I respect if you don't want this thread to go in that direction. I just know that my husband and I have quite a variety of friends who have either filed bankruptcy or let properties go to forclosure...I think since the housing crash of 2006/2007 people's attitudes have changed in regards to this.
|
|
dannylion
Junior Associate
Gravity is a harsh mistress
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 12:17:52 GMT -5
Posts: 5,212
Location: Miles over the madness horizon and accelerating
|
Post by dannylion on Jan 15, 2016 10:19:15 GMT -5
Don't beat up Greg because he may have found something that you have not. My wife and I still like each other, even after fifty years, It is the small things, I never forget an anniversary or her birthday. I open her car door for her, many times a day I say things that make her laugh, just like the comment about me being almost perfect. we both know that is not true. If we have an argument, which does happen, she is quick to drop what ever it was , me I carry a grudge, but because she quick to move on I feel guilty , soon drop what ever it was. People are too quick to see the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. when it probably not so green. It most likely helps that I work so much, She doesn't have to put up with me all day. It has nothing to do with what he may or may not have that others do not. It has everything to do with the air of smug arrogance and barely veiled contempt for others not equally blessed.
How could anyone have read this thread and come to the conclusion that people were "beating up" on him because of envy?
|
|
chen35
Senior Member
Joined: Apr 6, 2011 19:35:45 GMT -5
Posts: 2,312
|
Post by chen35 on Jan 15, 2016 10:25:09 GMT -5
My DH would say that his first marriage ending was his fault. His ex would probably say she had her issues as well. Not everyone who gets divorced falsely puts the blame on their ex. Me on the other hand, my first marriage ending was totally my ex's fault.
|
|
Green Eyed Lady
Senior Associate
Look inna eye! Always look inna eye!
Joined: Jan 23, 2012 11:23:55 GMT -5
Posts: 19,629
|
Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jan 15, 2016 10:27:33 GMT -5
Ever meet anyone who divorced and says "It was my fault"? Me either. Me. All the signs were there. Every single one of them. I ignored them because I wanted my white picket fence life and was able to attribute all the warning signs to something else entirely. It's on me. The things he did are on him, but I knew dang well he was going to do them. I just didn't want to believe it.
|
|
Ombud
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 14, 2013 23:21:04 GMT -5
Posts: 7,600
|
Post by Ombud on Jan 15, 2016 10:56:16 GMT -5
I guess I really did hit the marriage lottery! 20 years now, and my wife keeps getting better. I married the girl I wanted to be married to, and it turns out I was right. I just assumed that's the way it works. Reading here, I find that this usually isn't the case. I'm guessing you're trying to joke or be cute, but you're coming across like an insensitive jerk. Especially since you're posting this in a thread started by someone who has been open about how painful divorce has been and continues to be for her. WHY don't I see that?? How often do threads migrate from the OP? My read is that he's incredibly proud of his wife
|
|
gregintenn
Senior Member
Resident hillbilly
Joined: Dec 28, 2015 17:07:59 GMT -5
Posts: 2,840
|
Post by gregintenn on Jan 15, 2016 10:59:53 GMT -5
I guess I really did hit the marriage lottery! 20 years now, and my wife keeps getting better. You did, and a good portion of that is luck so stop acting like it was all good management. I agree that I'm very lucky. It didn't have much to do with anything I've done really.
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,910
|
Post by zibazinski on Jan 15, 2016 11:05:52 GMT -5
DH and I would have ended happily ever after. We both had our issues and our faults but we're lucky enough to finally get it right. But we both got slapped upside the head before so were determined to get it right at last. I miss him terribly.
|
|
HoneyBBQ
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 27, 2010 10:36:09 GMT -5
Posts: 5,395
Mini-Profile Background: {"image":"","color":"3b444e"}
|
Post by HoneyBBQ on Jan 15, 2016 11:08:25 GMT -5
Hugs, Zib.
|
|
milee
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2012 13:20:00 GMT -5
Posts: 12,344
|
Post by milee on Jan 15, 2016 11:25:47 GMT -5
I guess I really did hit the marriage lottery! 20 years now, and my wife keeps getting better. I'm guessing you're trying to joke or be cute, but you're coming across like an insensitive jerk. Especially since you're posting this in a thread started by someone who has been open about how painful divorce has been and continues to be for her. WHY don't I see that?? How often do threads migrate from the OP? My read is that he's incredibly proud of his wife Maybe you don't see it because you're just a nice person. Or maybe you missed his first 12 posts, where he just picks at the OP and other people who have been stupid enough to marry someone they later divorced; no bragging about his wife until post 13. Since you missed them, here were the first 12 so you can take a look and see they don't contain one iota of being proud of his wife and quite a few iotas of being critical and judgmental of OP and other divorced people:
Wow! How hard would two people have to work at it to create a mess like this??!!? >>> Nope. Never been through a divorce. >>> Why would you marry someone like this? >>> I dunno, thus the question. I was under the impression that the person you divorce is precisely the person you married. >>> Well, you've never been divorced, so.... ....so I asked someone with experience? >>> I don't think anyone goes into a marriage thinking that it will end in divorce. If not, I don't know why prenuptial agreements are so popular. >>> I'm not sure they're all THAT popular, but even so. I have term life insurance, but I'm not planning on dying in the next 20 years either. Me too, but I don't have a policy precisely designed to insure against my wife killing me? Perhaps I should look into one. >>> Ever meet anyone who divorced and says "It was my fault"?
Me either. >>> LOL! I forgot who I was talking to for a minute. >>>
We have a wanted bunch of ladies here! >>> So I'll ask again....Why'd you marry this dude? >>> I didn't ask you in particular. I asked in general earlier in the thread.
I always hear about how sorry and worthless everyone's ex is, and was genuinely curious why they found this type person attractive. >>>
|
|
milee
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2012 13:20:00 GMT -5
Posts: 12,344
|
Post by milee on Jan 15, 2016 11:27:13 GMT -5
You did, and a good portion of that is luck so stop acting like it was all good management. I agree that I'm very lucky. It didn't have much to do with anything I've done really. Then why repeatedly ask OP how she created this mess or why she picked this loser? If your marriage success hasn't had much to do with anything you've done, then why would her marriage failure have anything to do with what she's done?
|
|
techguy
Junior Member
Joined: May 1, 2013 15:59:05 GMT -5
Posts: 172
|
Post by techguy on Jan 15, 2016 11:32:09 GMT -5
You did, and a good portion of that is luck so stop acting like it was all good management. I agree that I'm very lucky. It didn't have much to do with anything I've done really. You're just part of the 50% that didn't get divorced. But it sounds like you like to keep broadcasting how lucky you are or how great your your marriage is. I wonder why?
|
|
Ombud
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 14, 2013 23:21:04 GMT -5
Posts: 7,600
|
Post by Ombud on Jan 15, 2016 11:34:00 GMT -5
LOL! I forgot who I was talking to for a minute Those were to me and I just thought the 2nd one was funny. We have 'batting history' on gun control threads
|
|
gregintenn
Senior Member
Resident hillbilly
Joined: Dec 28, 2015 17:07:59 GMT -5
Posts: 2,840
|
Post by gregintenn on Jan 15, 2016 11:39:32 GMT -5
I agree that I'm very lucky. It didn't have much to do with anything I've done really. You're just part of the 50% that didn't get divorced. But it sounds like you like to keep broadcasting how lucky you are or how great your your marriage is. I wonder why? So someone reading this thread can find an alternative point of view to marriage sucks.
|
|
milee
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2012 13:20:00 GMT -5
Posts: 12,344
|
Post by milee on Jan 15, 2016 11:41:29 GMT -5
LOL! I forgot who I was talking to for a minute That one was to me and I just thought it was funny. We have 'batting history' on gun control threads Maybe your "history" predisposes you to read his posts as nice or funny. I'm missing that history, because to me they read like someone who is being a jerk to the OP. I'm as big on personal responsibility as anyone, so I agree that we all get to reap what we sow. But Greg's repeated jabs at OP go beyond advocating for personal responsibility. They read like someone who is determined to rub OP's nose in a situation that he thinks she caused. Even if I agreed that she caused it - she may have, I don't know - the repeated posts attacking her for it are uncalled for and unhelpful. What's she supposed to do? Go back in time and not marry the guy? She's admitted her mistakes and described what she's doing differently now to take a different path - seems reasonable. Why keep up with the "I really picked a winner and you're miserable because you're such a dummy you picked a loser. Let me repeat that 10 or 12 times - this is all really your fault here. You are really, really stupid for picking this guy. Why do that? You know - make such a dumb choice and pick a loser. You really should have picked a winner. Like me. Did I mention that you caused this problem? Here - I'll say it again in case you missed it."
|
|
swamp
Community Leader
THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 16:03:22 GMT -5
Posts: 45,617
|
Post by swamp on Jan 15, 2016 11:46:46 GMT -5
You're just part of the 50% that didn't get divorced. But it sounds like you like to keep broadcasting how lucky you are or how great your your marriage is. I wonder why? So someone reading this thread can find an alternative point of view to marriage sucks. That's a stretch.
Anyone with half a brain can figure out that the point is that sometimes marriages don't work out and it's nobody's fault, and that there is an element of luck in remaining married.
|
|
Ombud
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 14, 2013 23:21:04 GMT -5
Posts: 7,600
|
Post by Ombud on Jan 15, 2016 11:48:51 GMT -5
milee, getting all emotions out of it .... venting here is good. Venting in a text to xH is bad. It will come back and bite her. Maybe not this year but eventually. Kids almost always see both parents in positive light. Mine still think I should do more to help him and ask why I won't. I vented where they could overhear earlier and regret it. I learned my lesson, hopefully OP won't repeat my error. Better to take the high road & KISS (Keep it short & sweet) hence all communication 10 words or less
|
|
gregintenn
Senior Member
Resident hillbilly
Joined: Dec 28, 2015 17:07:59 GMT -5
Posts: 2,840
|
Post by gregintenn on Jan 15, 2016 11:51:19 GMT -5
I married the girl I wanted to be married to, and it turns out I was right. I just assumed that's the way it works. Reading here, I find that this usually isn't the case. Maybe she is scared of asking for a divorce (you know, because of all the guns)You haven't seen her wield a frying pan, Arch!
|
|
techguy
Junior Member
Joined: May 1, 2013 15:59:05 GMT -5
Posts: 172
|
Post by techguy on Jan 15, 2016 11:52:34 GMT -5
So someone reading this thread can find an alternative point of view to marriage sucks. That's a stretch.
Anyone with half a brain can figure out that the point is that sometimes marriages don't work out and it's nobody's fault, and that there is an element of luck in remaining married.
Yeah, it's not that marriages suck, but that divorces can suck!
|
|
ArchietheDragon
Junior Associate
Joined: Jul 7, 2014 14:29:23 GMT -5
Posts: 6,379
|
Post by ArchietheDragon on Jan 15, 2016 11:53:38 GMT -5
Maybe she is scared of asking for a divorce (you know, because of all the guns)You haven't seen her wield a frying pan, Arch! I've seen Indiana Jones. Even a crazy Arab with a sword is no match for a guy with a hand gun.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 10:19:06 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2016 11:54:26 GMT -5
You're just part of the 50% that didn't get divorced. But it sounds like you like to keep broadcasting how lucky you are or how great your your marriage is. I wonder why? So someone reading this thread can find an alternative point of view to marriage sucks. I never once said marriage sucks.
|
|
gregintenn
Senior Member
Resident hillbilly
Joined: Dec 28, 2015 17:07:59 GMT -5
Posts: 2,840
|
Post by gregintenn on Jan 15, 2016 11:54:30 GMT -5
You haven't seen her wield a frying pan, Arch! I've seen Indiana Jones. Even a crazy Arab with a sword is no match for a guy with a hand gun. Make no mistake....she also has guns, and knows how to use them.
|
|
gregintenn
Senior Member
Resident hillbilly
Joined: Dec 28, 2015 17:07:59 GMT -5
Posts: 2,840
|
Post by gregintenn on Jan 15, 2016 12:01:20 GMT -5
That's a stretch.
Anyone with half a brain can figure out that the point is that sometimes marriages don't work out and it's nobody's fault, and that there is an element of luck in remaining married.
Yeah, it's not that marriages suck, but that divorces can suck! It just hit me......the marriages that don't end in divorce ALL end in death.
|
|
swamp
Community Leader
THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 16:03:22 GMT -5
Posts: 45,617
|
Post by swamp on Jan 15, 2016 12:02:47 GMT -5
preferably not an early death of one caused by the other spouse.
|
|
gregintenn
Senior Member
Resident hillbilly
Joined: Dec 28, 2015 17:07:59 GMT -5
Posts: 2,840
|
Post by gregintenn on Jan 15, 2016 12:06:22 GMT -5
|
|