MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on May 13, 2015 12:44:46 GMT -5
I thought the whole business suit/dress debacle was because the wedding was a black tie event at a posh country club or hotel or something like that. It was "black tie optional" and I'd say this recent wedding was only a step down from that. The men in the bridal party and the fathers of the bridal couple wore tuxes. Evening wedding with reception in the ballroom of a historic hotel- the kind with the sculpted, painted ceilings. My objections to buying a new dress wasn't a budget thing; I'm just picky. I don't want Made in China, I don't want cheap, flimsy fabric and sloppy tailoring. My upper arms are flabby so I shy away from sleeveless. The suit was made to measure, in the USA, of good-quality lightweight wool. It just made more sense to me to wear what I already owned and liked. if you're not restricted by budget, then you should have no problem finding nice garments that meet your standards. All it takes is a bit of googling, calling, and willingness to browse and order online.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 13, 2015 12:52:07 GMT -5
if you're not restricted by budget, then you should have no problem finding nice garments that meet your standards. All it takes is a bit of googling, calling, and willingness to browse and order online. Heck, I know exactly where I could go in this area to find a good dress if price is no object. It's just not a priority to spend that much on something I might wear once every 2 years. In March I paid $750 for a pair of ostrich boots. That made more sense to me! I've probably already worn those boots more in the last 2 months than I'd wear a (theoretical) new dress in my entire life.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on May 13, 2015 12:56:41 GMT -5
That's why they make TJMaxx. I bought a formal dress at Ross for $14 for a work function. I received numerous compliments. I misread that to read funeral dress. Wondered what kind of work function that was?
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on May 13, 2015 12:57:11 GMT -5
if you're not restricted by budget, then you should have no problem finding nice garments that meet your standards. All it takes is a bit of googling, calling, and willingness to browse and order online. Heck, I know exactly where I could go in this area to find a good dress if price is no object. It's just not a priority to spend that much on something I might wear once every 2 years. In March I paid $750 for a pair of ostrich boots. That made more sense to me! I've probably already worn those boots more in the last 2 months than I'd wear a (theoretical) new dress in my entire life. if you're only going to wear it "once every 2 years", for maybe a few hours each time, is it really that important that it's made in the USA of XYZ fabric? I mean, you have a great shape and there are TONS of dresses that would make you look like a knockout - granted they're probably not American-made, but again, they're not being worn that often so I don't see the issue. Just my 2 cents.
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on May 13, 2015 13:01:38 GMT -5
Heck, I know exactly where I could go in this area to find a good dress if price is no object. It's just not a priority to spend that much on something I might wear once every 2 years. In March I paid $750 for a pair of ostrich boots. That made more sense to me! I've probably already worn those boots more in the last 2 months than I'd wear a (theoretical) new dress in my entire life. if you're only going to wear it "once every 2 years", for maybe a few hours each time, is it really that important that it's made in the USA of XYZ fabric? I mean, you have a great shape and there are TONS of dresses that would make you look like a knockout - granted they're probably not American-made, but again, they're not being worn that often so I don't see the issue. Just my 2 cents. YOU CAN'T START A THREAD ABOUT YOUR WARDROBE IF YOU BUY A REASONABLY PRICED DRESS FROM JUST ANY STORE!!!!!!!!
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swamp
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Post by swamp on May 13, 2015 13:04:42 GMT -5
if you're only going to wear it "once every 2 years", for maybe a few hours each time, is it really that important that it's made in the USA of XYZ fabric? I mean, you have a great shape and there are TONS of dresses that would make you look like a knockout - granted they're probably not American-made, but again, they're not being worn that often so I don't see the issue. Just my 2 cents. YOU CAN'T START A THREAD ABOUT YOUR WARDROBE IF YOU BUY A REASONABLY PRICED DRESS FROM JUST ANY STORE!!!!!!!! I found a $14 suit from Burlington Coat Factory I get compliments on. But I won't wear it to a wedding, unless the wedding is described as "business attire."
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on May 13, 2015 13:05:54 GMT -5
YOU CAN'T START A THREAD ABOUT YOUR WARDROBE IF YOU BUY A REASONABLY PRICED DRESS FROM JUST ANY STORE!!!!!!!! I found a $14 suit from Burlington Coat Factory I get compliments on. But I won't wear it to a wedding, unless the wedding is described as "business attire." When getting married in a barn is out, maybe an Office Space setting will be in!
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swamp
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Post by swamp on May 13, 2015 13:12:34 GMT -5
I found a $14 suit from Burlington Coat Factory I get compliments on. But I won't wear it to a wedding, unless the wedding is described as "business attire." When getting married in a barn is out, maybe an Office Space setting will be in! party favors are red staplers.
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on May 13, 2015 13:15:33 GMT -5
A friend is having a similar worry about her wedding this summer. She's thinking 30% will be Carharts, 30% will be camo gear, 20% will be cutoffs or jeans and 20% will be dressed appropriately. I told her to have a winter wedding, but she said the majority would probably show up in snow gear. When we were touring the wedding venue, the owner said one bride actually had a Carhartt wedding, including a Carhartt dress. I'm not sure I can visualize that. Oh I think it could be very fun. Think Ellie May(?) from the Beverly Hillbillies.
I had some comments about my wedding. I was so put off by all the pressure to spend, spend, spend. I didn't want to burden my bridesmaids with a little bo-peep dress that they would never wear. I told them what my colors were and to find a dress that they would wear again. The funny thing was that the first bride's maid came out with a just above the knee dress with two poofy sleeves, then the next was with a dress with one sleeve and my maid of honor with a sexy sleeveless cocktail dress. I had a couple of comments that folks thought I was going to come out in a bikini! That would have been a wedding to remember!
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on May 13, 2015 13:33:27 GMT -5
LOL!
I'm not going to start razzing you, but just admit that you don't feel like putting the effort into finding nice flattering semi-formalwear. You wear what you want, but I'm starting to feel like the reasons you've given regarding this topic have been kind of a cop-out.
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lynnerself
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Post by lynnerself on May 13, 2015 13:47:34 GMT -5
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Opti
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Post by Opti on May 13, 2015 13:47:58 GMT -5
I don't see the OP's fashion choice as disdain for the wedding couple or hosts. Its her personal preference based on her values.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on May 13, 2015 14:01:12 GMT -5
I've been thinking about appropriate clothing for different situations in general (as I see too many people at the grocery store in pajama pants). I think taking the time and care to dress appropriately shows respect to the people you're spending time with. Obviously, if you don't have the time/money to wear something special, but do your best, then it's the thought that counts. I guess it's the thought that counts in the other direction too. If you're going for passable, then okay, that's the amount of thought/care you put into it. Maybe that's fine for the particular relationship that you have with the other people involved. For my own wedding, I really appreciated the people who took the time to dress up for it, even if it was just a step up from their usual attire. It showed me that they thought it was a special event.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on May 13, 2015 14:17:35 GMT -5
I've been thinking about appropriate clothing for different situations in general (as I see too many people at the grocery store in pajama pants). I think taking the time and care to dress appropriately shows respect to the people you're spending time with. Obviously, if you don't have the time/money to wear something special, but do your best, then it's the thought that counts. I guess it's the thought that counts in the other direction too. If you're going for passable, then okay, that's the amount of thought/care you put into it. Maybe that's fine for the particular relationship that you have with the other people involved. For my own wedding, I really appreciated the people who took the time to dress up for it, even if it was just a step up from their usual attire. It showed me that they thought it was a special event. I hope my family doesn't feel like this. Me showing up is how I am showing I care about them. I don't have the personal resources at this point to do much beyond passable when it comes to appearance.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on May 13, 2015 14:27:52 GMT -5
Very few weddings I've attended have specified attire in the invitation. I have to rely on clues, which aren't always reliable. I opted for a business professional look (tailored button down, pencil skirt w/ blazor and closed-toe heels) for one winter indoor 3:00 pm wedding thinking it would be more appropriate than a cocktail dress. I've always worn cocktail dresses and was thrilled to not to have to worry about getting a spray tan or pedicure and shivering with bare arms in the winter. I looked nice, wasn't going to outshine the bride, was feeling pretty good and was so much more comfortable.
Well, I blew it and should have worn the cocktail dress. I felt like I stood out like a sore thumb. I will always wear a cocktail dress from now on. Men should always wear suits. There is always one guy trying to be a little more business casual in khakis and a polo who ends up ruining all the pictures. Disclaimer, I live in the south and maybe dressing up for weddings is more common here.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on May 13, 2015 14:30:02 GMT -5
I've been thinking about appropriate clothing for different situations in general (as I see too many people at the grocery store in pajama pants). I think taking the time and care to dress appropriately shows respect to the people you're spending time with. Obviously, if you don't have the time/money to wear something special, but do your best, then it's the thought that counts. I guess it's the thought that counts in the other direction too. If you're going for passable, then okay, that's the amount of thought/care you put into it. Maybe that's fine for the particular relationship that you have with the other people involved. For my own wedding, I really appreciated the people who took the time to dress up for it, even if it was just a step up from their usual attire. It showed me that they thought it was a special event. I hope my family doesn't feel like this. Me showing up is how I am showing I care about them. I don't have the personal resources at this point to do much beyond passable when it comes to appearance. That's why I said that it's different if you don't have the time or money to do it. I'm sure they appreciate that you're doing your best by showing up. I would hope so, anyway.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on May 13, 2015 14:34:51 GMT -5
Very few weddings I've attended have specified attire in the invitation. I have to rely on clues, which aren't always reliable. I opted for a business professional look (tailored button down, pencil skirt w/ blazor and closed-toe heels) for one winter indoor 3:00 pm wedding thinking it would be more appropriate than a cocktail dress. I've always worn cocktail dresses and was thrilled to not to have to worry about getting a spray tan or pedicure and shivering with bare arms in the winter. I looked nice, wasn't going to outshine the bride, was feeling pretty good and was so much more comfortable. Well, I blew it and should have worn the cocktail dress. I felt like I stood out like a sore thumb. I will always wear a cocktail dress from now on. Men should always wear suits. There is always one guy trying to be a little more business casual in khakis and a polo who ends up ruining all the pictures. Disclaimer, I live in the south and maybe dressing up for weddings is more common here. no, people dress up for weddings up here too. I'm only speaking for myself, but it wouldn't occur to me to wear anything but a cocktail dress to a wedding. My BFF got married in October and I wore a black and white cocktail dress that I called the "Scandal" dress because it's something I think Olivia Pope might wear. I think I looked pretty damn good and I got it on clearance for less than $20 at JCPenney.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 13, 2015 14:43:50 GMT -5
I think I looked pretty damn good and I got it on clearance for less than $20 at JCPenney
Clearly you support sweat shops and crappy clothing.
My go to cocktail dress came from Goodwill for $5. Tried it on and it was like it was personally made for me, so I snatched it up before someone else did. I receive tons of compliments every time I wear it.
Have no clue where it originally came from and don't care. It was one of my best scores ever.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on May 13, 2015 14:50:40 GMT -5
I don't know if I'm less observant or just don't care (likely both), but the only people whose attire I remember at my own wedding were DH's cousins who wore jeans and hoodies. DH's aunt assumed that outdoor wedding = casual and told all her kids to just wear whatever. I haven't ever gone to a black tie or black tie optional wedding, but maybe I will put more thought into what I wear to special events if others perceive my outfit as a reflection on my feelings about the event/hosts/etc.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on May 13, 2015 14:50:51 GMT -5
I hope my family doesn't feel like this. Me showing up is how I am showing I care about them. I don't have the personal resources at this point to do much beyond passable when it comes to appearance. That's why I said that it's different if you don't have the time or money to do it. I'm sure they appreciate that you're doing your best by showing up. I would hope so, anyway. And that could be, but I also don't advertise parts of my life that are draining said personal resources so I'm sure there are plenty of people who just think I'm lazy/don't care.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on May 13, 2015 15:16:33 GMT -5
I don't know how to explain it but I think it's important to dress in a certain way depending on where you are and what you are doing.
Granted, the last few years I've been wearing the same clothes bc I can't fit into anything and too cheap to buy new stuff.
It bothers me when my kids don't want to change out of the PJ's the entire day It bothers me when people go to special occasions looking like they just got out of bed. It bothers me when I see people in sweatpants in the supermarket.
I can't put into words.....may be I should have been born 150 yrs ago or something
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 13, 2015 15:19:31 GMT -5
I hope I don't offend Athena, but there is a difference between what women in the 60s and women in the 30s and even 40s look good in. One person pointed out she could look "hot." What if she doesn't want to look hot? Someone else is suggesting cheap clothes. Cheap clothes look ok (sometimes better than ok) when you are young. They are often ill-fitting as you age even when you weigh the same, etc. And the styling is often too youthful, making older women in their sixties look like they are trying "too hard." I am sure no one found her outfit as a sign of disdain. She dressed nicely and looks like she is having a good time. The guy not in a tux isn't as dressed up as she is. That could be her husband, but he doesn't look like he's in his mid-70s. Now if the other guy in the tux IS your husband, then you two don't match very well. He should have worn a business suit as well. But you certainly don't have to apologize for either one of you. You looked nice and comfortable, as if you are having a good time.
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on May 13, 2015 15:41:43 GMT -5
How about people at the grocery store in workout clothes - LOL!? I most always hit the grocery store on my way home from the gym. Sorry, not changing to go to the stupid grocery store.
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milee
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Post by milee on May 13, 2015 15:51:40 GMT -5
How about people at the grocery store in workout clothes - LOL!? I most always hit the grocery store on my way home from the gym. Sorry, not changing to go to the stupid grocery store. Me neither, so I guess we're both heathen. It is funny, though, when someone asks me if I just came from playing tennis and I smile, shake my head and say, "oh, no. I don't play tennis. I came from boxing."
I do sometimes feel a little bad dropping into the grocery store in sailing gear since it can look a little weird - it's clearly athletic gear but has reinforcing or even padding in weird places and unfamiliar logos - and it's no fun to be soaking wet in the cold AC. But sometimes there's no choice if I'm running late, so I just squeak (wet dinghy boots sound a little like the shoes the organist wore on Sixteen Candles) along the aisles as quickly as possible...
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on May 13, 2015 16:10:38 GMT -5
I've gone to the grocery store looking pretty rough. I keep my head down and hope to run into nobody I know. Other times, I go to the grocery store looking pretty good, I keep my head up and secretly judge everyone looking frumpy as if I'm soooo much better.
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imawino
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Post by imawino on May 13, 2015 16:26:31 GMT -5
Heck, I know exactly where I could go in this area to find a good dress if price is no object. It's just not a priority to spend that much on something I might wear once every 2 years. In March I paid $750 for a pair of ostrich boots. That made more sense to me! I've probably already worn those boots more in the last 2 months than I'd wear a (theoretical) new dress in my entire life. I'm not sure if you mean to, but wearing your recycled business wear to a wedding shows your disdain for the social conventions of the festivities, and as per the above quote, that is exactly where you are coming from. You know it isn't really proper to wear an old business suit to the wedding, you could easily afford a pricey dress that met all your specifications, you could bend your requirements to get a relatively cheap but appropriate outfit for the occasion, and yet - you choose to dismiss all this in favor of showing your disdain. I wouldn't be too sure that some of the hosts or guests weren't picking up on this. Yes. Especially if the vibe given off is "Deal with it!"
I think what I find bothersome about this is that I suspect if a woman were to show up in a board meeting wearing a cocktail dress Athena would have a much, much different response. I find it difficult to believe that she would either just not notice the inappropriateness of the attire for the occasion, or would simply admire the dress for being high quality and attractive and not think less of the wearer for being unaware that a cocktail dress was not appropriate for a business meeting.
Obviously anyone can choose to wear whatever they want, whenever they want, for whatever reasons they want. But be aware that social events (especially high-end weddings) have social conventions and expectations the same way business does. It's a little arrogant and hypocritical to assume that that they shouldn't apply to you simply because you own a tailored suit that you like. I doubt that Athena looked "bad", but it sounds like it was a lazy choice, and not well-suited (heh) at all to the event.
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Robert not Bobby
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Post by Robert not Bobby on May 13, 2015 16:31:28 GMT -5
The three of you look happy, that is a good thing...one is way too big around the gut.
Are you the woman...not bad for your age. So, the point is?
I'm not sure I get it?
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milee
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Post by milee on May 13, 2015 16:38:41 GMT -5
The three of you look happy, that is a good thing...one is way too big around the gut. Are you the woman...not bad for your age. So, the point is? I'm not sure I get it? Judging from the offensiveness of the insults you casually tossed out... no, you don't get it.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on May 13, 2015 16:42:15 GMT -5
I looked at the picture.
The outfit looks fine, but kind of dowdy. And dark. It's a wedding, not a funeral. A shirt in a fun color/pattern instead of black with some funky jewelry instead of pearls would have made a world of difference.
You say you have a huge jewelry collection from your travels. Then why the pearls? Pearls certainly don't say "I'm here for the party." Crap! I obviously have no fashion sense. I thought she looked good. Good thing I choose a boring profession . Yea, DD is already starting to tell me how to dress.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on May 13, 2015 16:45:14 GMT -5
I looked at the picture.
The outfit looks fine, but kind of dowdy. And dark. It's a wedding, not a funeral. A shirt in a fun color/pattern instead of black with some funky jewelry instead of pearls would have made a world of difference.
You say you have a huge jewelry collection from your travels. Then why the pearls? Pearls certainly don't say "I'm here for the party." Crap! I obviously have no fashion sense. I thought she looked good. Good thing I choose a boring profession . Yea, DD is already starting to tell me how to dress. I think she looked great for a work, although I'd pick a jewel colored top to go under the jacket. Color is your friend. Not like Mimi type color, but just a splash.
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